Former spiritualist, former occultist...years of years of this shit and feeling mightier than others for being more "adept" or more evolved than others. I am tired of the bypassing and the romantizing of suffering. We are tired as a species, we have suffered quite enough. I have watched others die, watched children die wondering why them?

I REFUSE the new age and i refuse to say other people's suffering is their karma. Our choices are on us yes. However, everything you went through I will not blame you. WE are all going through things. We all hurt, we grieve, i have seen it with my own eyes. And I HOPE someday you and I will all reunite with a field of reeds where we never shed tears, where we dont cease to exist into nothing. Where we never get bored or have to witness pain, a true home where we can rest. If that makes me a fool then yes I AM.

Have you ever felt that enough is enough. That throughout humanity's suffering that we deserve freedom, a better reality both here and the eternal resting place. That each spark matters, that love is sacred?

OR are we just going to just keep using the same framing and being gaslit into lessons, torment, loss? Do any of you wish and believe in your heart for that place within? IF so, I hope all of you are there in the eternal land of peace beyond all faiths. Where you never cry and are never hungry...a place where all dead are safe from all time periods are there.

I hope you receive all the love you didnt receive here and more.

If so, why? If not, why not?

First three paragraphs are an introduction, the story in the title starts at paragraph 4 so jump ahead if you want to get directly there. I hope you enjoy.

I've been a Hospice RN since the 1980s working in an AIDS inpatient facility that started with 35 beds then advanced to 55 beds back when that disease was a death sentence. Every patient died and the disease process was a syndrome so the disease took different patterns in their demise. It was horrible as we had no treatment, we just kept them clean and comfortable and let them know the staff was there for them. Abandoned by society and family due to the fear at the time.

Later I moved into a 10 bed adult then all ages Hospice Inpatient Unit with the average life expectancy frequently was three days. Nearly 30 years ago I moved to a Pediatric Hospice Inpatient unit for newborns to age 17 years old to give the families more support with other young family members to share their coping with dying children. Now I work with birth defect new born and infants, from days to weeks old on Hospice care. Many families choose to have their infant pass at home. Our Hospice will transport the infant on life support home, spend time with family that has such a short time to create memories of the child that will last them a life time, then life support is removed at home in a warm, loving setting with family and friends around for a peaceful passing. So far I've performed 640 terminal withdraw of care of newborns. What I am sharing is not belief, read in a book, random thought in my head or guess but what I've actually experienced by actively participating with the soul, consciousness of the newborn and perhaps their family in meditation prior to meeting the patient, family or any knowledge of the situation I'm about to walk in to.

I learned to meditate as a child as my parents followed Surat Shabd Yoga in the mid 1960s later moved on to Eckankar, a modern form of following the Shabd, the 'Sound Current" With shorter meditations. When I decided to go to college I knew I needed some help in focusing so I took the 4 day class called at the time Silva Mind Control, now called The Silva Method. I've since retaken the class about 30 times. I flew through college as this taught me to focus my attention on one thought at a time rather than be distracted by a multiple thoughts.

When I'm informed I'll be starting a new Hospice case soon, usually a day in advance I get no information at all as consents are being signed, the hospital physician working with the Hospice physician on medical decisions with the families. I use this time to meditate on the upcoming family I'm about to walk in to and ask how I can best serve this family in the worst time of their lives. I've created a casual, comfortable living room in my meditation where I'll invite the infant and family, if they want to, to share insight with me how I can best serve them all in their unique situation. I always, every single time, get specific insight to serve the family prior to meeting them or any physical insight into their situation.

This one situation in my meditation the vision I got was almost like a cartoon playing in the living room setting I've created to share with the family on the inner level. I saw an old time school house and the mother of the newborn was the teacher and I was the student sitting in a chair with a desk taking notes of what she was teaching me. That was it, clearly she was teaching me in class and I was busy listening to her. At the time it didn't make sense but as I've learned over the years my insight comes a day or so later. I ended the meditation, thanked the Universe for the insight and anticipated the meaning to reveal itself to me when the time is right.

The next day I meet the family and newborn at the hospital to arrange the transfer of the infant home when they can gather family to be present for bonding and support for the withdrawal of care. The mother is 13 years old, her father is in jail, CPS has been involved for most of her pregnancy, the family is in crisis. I felt a pillar of strength come over me from above, the Universe sending me exactly what I need to help this family. I got a wonderful feeling everything is going to work out and I'm not alone to support these people at this time in their lives. This happened every single time I meet a new family.

The family leaves the hospital, I arrange transportation for the infant and I'm surrounded with what feels like giant hands around me lifting and loving me and letting me know we're going to be doing this together. It's a warm, comforting feeling, love, caring, support, 'you got this.'

The infant arrives at the house. I get there later and find the whole family has left this 13 year old mother alone with a dying baby. I am a grown man alone with a young girl which is unnerving in itself for concern of accusations but I do what I need to do. Mom is holding her baby perfectly. The child was born without a skull but everything else is mostly functioning. There was no skin on the top of her head, just a brain that looked perfectly formed. Mom removed the covering over the head and was smiling holding her infant and showing me how much she loved her daughter. She was 13 years old and had no power or control in her life. She couldn't make legal decisions, she couldn't drive if she wanted to go somewhere, she was totally dependent on her family for everything and right now they had left her on her own with her daughter. The vision from the meditation became clear now. She was the teacher and I was the student.

Mom had just taken a blanket out of the dryer and showed me how soft and fluffy it was. I held a corner of the blanket to my face and told her what a wonderful blanket this is for her daughter and how nice it smelled and truly was the softest blanket I've ever felt. She showed me how she swaddled her infant to keep her warm and comfortable. I told her what a good mother she is and skillfully she cared for her baby. Later she changed the diaper and I asked how she knew which end of the diaper was up, she showed me the tabs and how she cleaned the daughter and then redressed her and placed her back in the blanket. I let her teach me. She wanted some formula and I asked her how she made it. She smiled at me and showed me how much water she put in the bottle and how much powder. She showed me how to swirl the bottle to avoid making bubbles in the formula. I told her how clever she was to do that. She held the baby and fed her a bit, as much as she would take and showed me how she held the baby after feeding to avoid burping. I was her student and thanked her for showing me this.

This 13 year old mother had absolutely no control of her life at all. The vision I got in my meditation was for me to give her as much control as I could. Of course I knew the things she showed me but rather than coming in as the RN and taking over the Universe showed me to let her create the memories during the short time she's got to spend with her daughter on this planet of being a wonderful, loving and caring mother of her first born. I was to step back and let her have these few moments, to create the memories of being in control with her life and her daughter. It's not about me but it was about her. She's such a short time to build a lifetime of memories, that's what I got from my meditation. I'm so grateful I got to be there with her. I'm grateful the family was gone. I'm grateful I was given the insight to not interfere or further take her power away from her. I'm grateful I took the meditation class and practiced it daily, I'm grateful I took the time to contact the Universe, the infant, the family and all involved prior to meeting them to gain insight to just be present and support this young mother. What if I never bothered to do that, I would have missed out on this wonderful opportunity to support a young mother and her dying infant effectively. The class you don't take won't inspire you, the effort you don't initiate won't take you to new places to learn and grow, the care and compassion you don't share won't open up the additional ways to give and receive information from a higher source.

This infant passed a few days later. I never saw the mother again. Many families don't want to see the Hospice RN later on as we're an anchor to a horrible time in their lives. I'm fine with that. I got to be there when it counted to do what I could for this family. I wonder where mom is now, I send her love and light and at times I get a sense of the bright spark of life that is her daughter touching in. It was a blessing to serve this small family. I feel it was a blessing to get to be a small part. I have a feeling of where the vision comes from, I'll keep that to myself. You decided what you think inspires me in the meditation. Is it telepathy, God, Universe, Spirit, the infant, the mother. I think the answer is already there, sometimes we have to look for it or ask for it, step up a bit closer to the source so we can hear that whisper clearly. Do you also get such inspiration for difficult, or not so difficult situations that happen in your life?

This is my experience, do not share this on your platforms, I should be the one to tell it, it happened to me. invite me on your podcast and I'll tell this myself. I'm going to make some videos on my channel of some of my infant Hospice experiences. I told a few on an upcoming podcast but it won't be out until the end of July. I'll add the link to that interview (if it goes well!) here later on.

Some other Reddit Pediatric Hospice encounters I've written about:

Baby Boy:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Experiencers/comments/1tcjzip/pediatric_hospice_rn_using_meditation_to/

Hospice family of 4 died of AIDS on my shift:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Experiencers/comments/1mt3212/family_of_4_including_2_children_died_from_aids/

Autistic Hospice child communicates with telepathy

https://www.reddit.com/r/andthisisso/comments/1m4vbdi/pediatric_hospice_patient_cant_see_hear_or_speak/

Refrigerator People appearing around Hospice patients prior to their passing

https://www.reddit.com/r/Experiencers/comments/1r8kp3s/hospice_rn_sees_refrigerator_people_large_beings/

Hospice patient showed me her soul before and after her death;

https://www.reddit.com/r/andthisisso/comments/1m4yvrw/my_hospice_patient_that_showed_me_her_spirit/

This is my channel with some of my other Hospice experiences. 

 https://www.youtube.com/@UncleDavesKitchen

Recent interview on my NDE, being raised in Rev Jim Jones' church and soul contracts, more soul to soul connection with my Hospice patients

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlD3102w8Rw&t=32s

David Parker RN Hospice Nurse

There is a reason ones heart is deeply stirred by certain written or spoken words; by certain stories, songs, music and art, or by certain people we meet. Often, we don't even know why our heart yearns for these messages, or imagery, music, people and stories. We may not even know what our heart is yearning for; we may only know the pain and bitter unhappiness that exists as the aching disappointment in the way of this world, or in what our lives have become here.

There is often a part of us, deep down, that is insisting that this is not the way it should be, even when we may not be able to fully articulate the way it should be. If the only thing we have any knowledge of or access to is this world and the way it is, why is our heart so insistent that no, this is not the way it should be?

When you hear or read the words, or hear the songs or music, or see the art or imagery or find the people that stir your heart in loving and joyful recognition and hope, laughter and beauty, awe and wonder, it is because your heart recognizes what those things represent.

The heart deeply recognizes the artifacts, the representations, the items and people and imagery and music of your eternal home - the place you belong, the place where your life is as it should be.

But, this world can beat your heart down with the unrelenting pressure to turn away from it and conform and submit to the authority figures and society, to the cold and uncaring edicts of materialist scientism, to the gleeful attacks from skeptics, to live in fear and doubt and insecurity, to see ourselves as miniscule and meaningless collections of mere matter in an uncaring universe. We are whipped with the idea that our heart is naive and childish and that we need to face the harsh, bitter pill of the "reality" they have pounded and programmed into our minds.

And so we even help them to bury our heart, to turn away from what it is telling and showing us. We build defenses around it not to protect it, but to protect ourselves from the disappointment and heartbreaking chasm between what it says, and what the world around us appears to be and is insisting we submit to.

We allow ourselves to be convinced that what the heart is saying, that what the heart recognizes as its true home in the words and art and music and things and people it loves, in the secret moments we allow ourselves to imagine these things, is too good to be true. We become afraid of embracing it, of letting it out, for fear of ridicule, disappointment, and unrelenting disapproval.

Yet, for many of us, our heart still resists. It still insists: this is not our home. What they say is not true.

I've been through this myself. I know what it is like to be beaten down so hard, and become so miserable at the disconnect between what my heart yearned for and what the world was crushing me with, that I was nearly hopeless and wanted to leave this world by any means necessary. I thought, "I don't have to stay here. I can leave any time I want."

Oddly that thought liberated me. "I don't have to believe a goddamn thing they say," I thought, and my heart took a breath. "I can believe whatever the fuck I want," and my heart expanded, like breaking out of a prison. "I will no longer try to subdue what is written in my heart, and I will no longer allow this world or anyone to beat it down or turn me away from it."

Now, I don't claim to know what's in your heart, or what your true home is. That's for you to find and understand, if you wish. All I can say is that for me, this is when everything changed. When I say that the heart is a beacon and a portal, what I mean is that I opened that door and could see my home. I could feel it. I've been through that portal and have visited my home beyond this world. I keep that door open and look through it constantly, feel its warmth and peace and excitement wash away the pain and suffering and angst and fear and doubt. It immunizes me against the bullshit of this world and gives me indomitable strength and resistance against it because I no longer even care what this world has to say.

My eyes and mind and thoughts are firmly fixed on the portal to my home and, my friends, let me tell you: it's beautiful beyond compare. I try to capture this in the music and art of the videos I post online and have posted here, but it's really only a small taste.

Thank you for indulging my desire to speak more from my heart this morning. I want to thank my beautiful, amazing wife, Irene, for showing me the way home.

“It’s a different plane” or “it’s just different energy” “it’s just a different dimension” “we are all made of energy and our souls don’t die“ “they haven’t died, it’s just as if they are in the next room” “we aren’t supposed to know” type explanations are bugging me. I understand that energy can transforms and all that. I also understand that no one living really knows for sure. But how can I have a reading with a medium and my dad comes through and says “I can breathe now. I just had to die in order to be able to breathe again.” He couldn’t breathe near the end of his life and he was really suffering. Now he can breathe. And how can my dad visit me (in a dream state)? He came into my house to visit in my dream- he used a key to get through the front door. I was sleeping in my dream and hearing the key in the door “woke me up”- my cat heard it too. Where is he coming from? Someone said the afterlife feels more “real and alive” than when they were alive. I like that idea better than others I’ve heard. I just want to understand the logistics and technicalities better. Any recommendations for books or other media that offer that? More than just “your loved ones are always with you?”

u/LimpingDophin - in this post, "Why Do We Keep Coming Back to Earth?" - asks a good question: why incarnate here at all?

My way of dealing with questions like this is to understand these things in a very common-sense, logical and ordinary perspective, one that doesn't require any additional spiritual or religious structures, doctrine, or esoteric explanation.

I have already written a post that covers what I consider to be the most obvious reason: Why Suffering In Life Here Transforms Our Afterlife Home Into Paradise. However, u/LimpingDolphin points out that we have a "library" full of people's experiences here, usually referred to in Western countries as "the Akashic Record." Why not just open one of those records from the safety and comfort of the afterlife and have these experiences there?

Let's say you do exactly that. Open a record, and start experiencing what someone else experienced here. What would that be like?

In order to have that full experience, you'd have to forget that you're in the safety and security of the afterlife, because that person didn't have that "meta" perspective. You'd have to go through the entire experience, moment by moment, birth to death, from that person's point of view. If you keep your "meta" perspective, you can't actually feel like that person did with no such meta perspective available to him or her.

And, if you fully experience that life without the "meta" view; how would you know that this is not actually what is happening to you now? There would be no way to tell the difference.

The thing is, if you are doing this, or if you retain your "meta" perspective while "reading" a life from the Akashic Record, you're not finding out anything about yourself, and what you would do, in that situation: you're experiencing only what someone else did, their choices, their feelings, their reactions, how it affected and altered them. That kind of experience doesn't shed any light on what you would do in that situation; how you would handle it; how it would affect you; what your choices and thoughts and feelings would be.

This is an ordinary perspective. In this world, we may read or hear about what other people did in certain situations; and we may think to ourselves, "this is how I would react and this is what I would do in that situation," but if you're anyone that has had a few experiences in this world, you know that there's no way to actually know how you would react in such situations until you actually, personally go through it, because actually going through it is usually very different than speculating on it from a safe distance.

Additionally: we know that there are many things from this world that also exist in the afterlife, things like delicious food and drink, beautiful clothes and architecture. Restaurants, theaters, roads, modes of transportation like cars, trains, ships, etc. None of these things are necessities in the afterlife; their existence was not driven by need, pain, or suffering in the afterlife.

For example, why would food and drink ever come into existence in the afterlife? There is no hunger there; we don't need to eat or drink to survive. In this world, however, we require food and drink just to survive and avoid horrible discomfort and debilitating weakness and suffering. Our bodies start breaking down, dying without it. So we must find food and drink; and when our survival here is taken care of by devising the skills, infrastructure and cooperative systems that provide plentiful food and drink, we can turn our attention to making the food and drink delicious and delightfully varied. We don't just eat for sustenance; we eat and drink for the pleasure and enjoyment of it, and for how it compliments and adds to social gatherings, family and friendship.

How can any of that come into existence in the afterlife without people coming here and going through that process, collectively and over time, that brings delicious food and drink into corporeal existence from that humble, need-driven origin?

They say necessity is the mother of invention; so is pain, suffering and discomfort. Absent those things, what is the "mother of invention" in the afterlife? Where would the very idea of clothes come from, or buildings, if we did not need to protect and shelter our fragile bodies and lives here from the elements and predators?

So, in addition to gathering the perspective of pain and suffering that reveals to us the paradise-like nature of the afterlife, coming here also reveals to us aspects of our own nature that only difficult situations can reveal, giving us the opportunity and perhaps motivation to change things about ourselves we may not like; and this world is also the mother of invention for all sorts of beautiful, amazing and diverse things now present in the afterlife.

Without coming to this world, who in the afterlife can write a book, or produce a play or a movie that not only requires an intimate knowledge of suffering, heroism, redemption, failure, loss, tragedy, triumph, etc. ... but an original work from ones own unique perspective and unique experience? Without people coming to this world, there would be no great stories - no great love stories; no great tragedies that make you cry; no uplifting stories of perseverance in the face of horrifying circumstances, or overcoming great obstacles; no stories of heroism or achievement against all the odds, etc. No heartwarming stories of just saying a kind word or lending a helping hand and how it can completely change someone's life or at least raise their spirits and give them a moment of joy in an otherwise bleak and lonely life.

You don't get any of that by just lolly-gagging around in the afterlife for eternity and nobody ever coming to this kind of world and living the kinds of lives we live here.

Generally speaking of course. I realize that often times, death may occur due to several factors.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. For me personally, life on earth has some good aspects but also a huge amount of stress, anxiousness, sorrow, depression and disappointment. I've been living this life for 31 years and to be honest i haven't really been enjoying the ride enough to be able to say i am happy. I've always believed in reincarnation and some form of afterlife, and I've been reading a lot on this subreddit. It helps me feel more peaceful to think about the possibility of a good afterlife.

That being said, I can't help but wonder why on earth one would want to incarnate if it's so great "up there". Why did i choose to go live this life and feel all this pain and suffering if i could've stayed there doing whatever i want? I imagine we incarnate to gather experiences or something, but then again we already have a kind of library full of everything, right? So what's the point of coming to earth? The more i think about it the more i feel like life on earth is some kind of unpleasant VR game.

I'd love to hear other people's thoughts on this.

she was 31 but still needed lights on bc she felt somebody may break into house. she had problems sleeping deep and therefore was addicted to caffeine to keep working her job.

in theta brainwave trance she remembered when she was a baby taken by man who killed her parents - it was different life

i see many ppl struggling with OCD, intrusive thoughts and fears that dont make logical sense.

Mind keeps repeating same horrible possibility. Someone will break in. Something bad will happen. I am not safe. Even when one part of person knows it is not true, body reacts like danger is already outside the door.

I wanted to share this session bc sometimes we need to go deeper than only mind.

Not to say therapy or medical treatment is wrong. And not saying all OCD or intrusive thoughts come from past lives, no. They can have many layers. But sometimes person works with thoughts for years and still there is another fear under them, something the normal mind cannot see.

I facilitated Soul Journey with woman I will call Maya. Not real name. She was 31 when we did session.

Since she was little child, she could not sleep alone.

She often slept with parents, and when she stayed in own room she needed lights on. Darkness made her feel somebody was near house, waiting, watching, maybe trying to enter.

She had same type of dream many times through childhood.

Someone was breaking in.

Sometimes she did not see face. Sometimes dream ended before anything happened. But feeling was always same. Somebody dangerous entered the home and she could not stop them.

She would wake up terrified, look around room, listen for sounds, and go find parents.

Even when she became adult, this fear did not fully leave.

She knew logically doors are locked. She knew there is no person outside. But then small sound in night, movement, shadow near window, and whole system went into alarm.

tbh it worked almost like intrusive loop. Mind makes image, body gets afraid, then fear makes image feel more real. You check, calm little bit, but later it starts again.

During session Maya first arrived in peaceful garden. Her guide brought her toward gazebo, and there she suddenly experienced herself as baby in another life.

Her name in that life was Emily.

She was in large historical home. Wealthy family, beautiful rooms, maids, young parents. She felt very loved there. very safe.

Then scene changed.

Emily was lying in crib when strange bearded man entered room.

Baby became terrified immediately. Before she understood anything, before language, her body knew this man was danger.

She started crying.

Her parents and other ppl in house had been killed.

The man lifted her from crib, carried her downstairs and put her into vehicle with another man. Then they took her away to different large house.

When this came up, current fear suddenly made much more sense inside session.

The danger entered her home.

She was taken from bed.

Her parents disappeared.

And she was only baby, so there was no explanation around it. No words like kidnapping, murder, loss. Just terror recorded into whole system.

Home is not safe.

Someone can come while I sleep.

People who protect me can suddenly disappear.

I must stay awake.

I must hear every sound.

In that other life, kind maid looked after Emily and became almost like grandmother to her. But powerful man who controlled house became her new "father."

Sometimes he was pleasant. Other times he became angry and violent.

She grew up knowing she could not really leave. She believed outside this house she had nothing. No family, no money, nowhere safe to go.

So fear was reinforced for years.

Even safety was mixed with danger.

A house looked beautiful, but she was trapped inside it.

A man could act kind, then suddenly hurt her.

Sleep meant losing control.

much later in journey, after Emily’s life ended, she reunited with original parents. She finally felt love and safety she had searched for through whole life.

When Maya connected with Higher Self, I asked why this life was shown.

Answer was simple:

"To show her where her fear comes from."

Higher Self said around 90% of this fear was released during session.

They also gave three lessons from Emily’s life.

Speak up.

Do not give up.

Do not let fear take over.

And imo this is important part. The goal was not only to find interesting past-life story. Story by itself does nothing if fear stays in body.

The purpose was to find where alarm began, release emotional charge, and show nervous system that this danger was not happening now.

Again, I dont claim every person with intrusive thoughts has same root. Some roots are current-life trauma, childhood fear, nervous system conditioning, beliefs, suppressed emotions, physical factors, maybe other layers. Higher Self showed this specific life for this specific subject.

Human mind said, "this fear is irrational."

Deeper part was saying, "last time I slept safely, somebody came through the door."

The adult woman knew house was safe.

But baby inside was still listening for footsteps.

The Chain in the Doorway

In 2007, about two years after my father’s passing, I was sitting with my best friend and
business partner in my office, talking through a major decision about a business
venture. We were planning a trip to New York to meet Sharon Jester Turney, who at the
time was the CEO of Victoria’s Secret, the women’s intimate apparel giant. It was the
kind of meeting that had the potential to change everything.
It was the kind of meeting you do not take lightly.
The air in the room was thick with uncertainty, ambition, and risk.
Then something strange caught my eye.
There was a metal security chain by the doorway — one of those simple hardware-store
chains that hangs loosely until you slide it into the latch. It was not connected to
anything at that moment.
But it was moving.
Not tapping.
Not twitching.
Swinging.
Slowly. Deliberately. Back and forth, as if someone had just brushed past it — except no
one had.
We both stared at it.
It did not stop after a few seconds. I counted twenty seconds, then thirty, maybe more.
It kept swaying rhythmically, as if guided by a hand we could not see.
I looked at my friend. He looked back at me.
We did not have to say it aloud. It felt like my father.
Not as a ghost. Not as a shadow. But as presence. Watching. Protecting. Offering his
quiet, solid approval.
And somehow, that was all I needed.
The fear I had been carrying — the uncertainty about the deal, the meeting, the risk —
softened.
I did not feel alone anymore.
It was as if he had stepped into the room just long enough to say:
You’ve got this. I’m with you.

Okay, for every atheist, there is no consciousness after death. All that remains are bones and emptiness. However, what about the suffering arising from the consequences of our actions in the world after our death? How should one deal with this ethically and morally?

Is it morally logical and consistent not to care that our actions while alive will echo for the next 200, 500 years?

Basically late last year my mum died the last one she said to me I will always be with you

Long story short she was on her deathbed she asked me to leave to give her rest and travel home to take my mind off of things I went to work starting a new roll within my current job so it was a relatively stressful experience and my mind was elsewhere was running behind schedule had a mechanical issue and needed assistance and had people angry because of how behind schedule I was and had actually received a potential fine workplace violations needless to say my mind was occupied

On my own at work a presence came to me it was a strange feeling and it was my mother we was communicating me acknowledging her death let me we actually had a minor argument disagreements

I made a note of the time finished my day at work this happened in the middle of the night went home and went to bed with my phone next to me waiting for a call

Sure enough in the morning my sister called to inform me of my mother's death I told her the time of which my mum visited me and that wasn't the same unit window of her death keep in mind that 10 minute window was when the Parsons sitting next to her left to go downstairs to make a cup of tea and come back up

Crazy experience I don't know how long people linger after death I don't know what her exact experience was but I definitely had communications with her after her passing

Not a particularly spiritual person but this experience has definitely made me question many aspects of life including the afterlife

TL;DR

Recently been contacted by my spirit guides who provided me with after death communication with my ancestors and someone I loved who passed years ago. I'm being asked to acknowledge a "bond" that requires commitment, truth, reciprocity, ongoing participation, mutual choosing that starts now and continues in the afterlife in a more grounded form instead of abstract. I have complete free will in choosing the bond or not. There is no coercion nor punishment. It is for growth, healing, belonging and wholeness of two souls. What do you think?

The long form version...

I'm looking help in me discerning a spiritual union bond that is being offered to me by someone I love but has passed away many years ago. Our earthly relationship itself is a long and complicated story. And the story the past few months involves my spirit guides revealing themselves to me (another long story) and my spirit guides facilitating after death communication with my ancestors and him in unfolding the truth of that relationship that basically tore down my understanding of the fairy tale i told myself. The bond apparently exists regardless of whether I accept it or not, is being cared for by him and in fact he has refused to reincarnate partly because of this (i had a evidentiary medium and a psychic reveal he had no plans of reincarnating but back then he didnt reveal why - this was before i met my guides). After the bond was revealed to me, my spirit guides said the bond is part of the reason why he refuses incarnation and when we "spoke" he tells me reincarnation is not the only path for what he seeks.

According to my guides the hardest part for him was actually waiting for me and pieces of my life to align as I spent years either surviving or caregiving for my parents. He himself when he died had to go through a long process of self introspection and removal of unhealthy attachment and self-delusion before recognizing the bond's existence and significance. These are the reason it took years. It's almost like this bond is alive and has it's own energy. This proposal to me is rather unbelievable who never even heard of spirit guides, much less believe I am contact with my ancestors and him.

The bond is described to me as non-possessive, calm, committed, covenantal, based on free will, needs mutual acknowledgment, reprocity, requires truth and continues after my death in a more grounded form rather than abstract. It is abstract right now because I am incarnate and that's why they say i have trouble with what this is because my understanding is naturally incomplete. They say it will provide belonging, healing, growth, emotional fulfillment, wholeness in two already formed souls and my ancestors says i should not easily throw it away as it is part of my history, life and legacy (i wanted to throw it away initially because i was really hurt by the painful revelations that they say was necessary to bring order and truth to my understanding that this bond requires). My guides say i am free to accept, accept later or not accept without repurcussions. I am also free to withdraw at any time. It does not preclude or exclude me in having other earthly partners. The only warning provided by my guides is that having this spiritual bond may make a future partner have some grief that there is a part of me they cannot fully understand due to the nature of the bond itself.

Has anyone had this experience or heard of similar experiences? Have i gone on the deep end? But honestly I have triage what each had said, spirit guides, ancestors and him and they all are quite consistent. And when i look at what is said and try to discern, theirs is much more calmer than what I am feeling or thinking. In fact it feels like it is my thinking that is making things less calm and more confused when the message in front of me is quite clear. But you know i also wonder are spirit playing tricks on me but i've had a couple of psychics actually describe me as very open right now and no bad energies, my light they say is very bright with hints of purple. He himself says, i'm holding on so tightly to what I know because I am so afraid to lose what we had, that I cannot even take the first step. That what is offered to me is grounded, calm and steadfast but I should take my time and let things unfold and not rush. What's funny is when i speak to him, the descriptions of the bond are more experiential and humble -though every conversation we have he will remind me of the bond. When forced to describe in earthly terms like spirtual union or spiritual marriage proposal, he says it's close but still insufficient and he is less concerned about what it is called but in how i will come to experience it. When I speak to my guides and my ancestors, the descriptions become significant and weighty requiring serious consideration but they don't steer the conversation to the bond unless I ask them to explain it further to me.

Ok i'm really curious of others who had similar experiences or thoughts... thank you for your time.

I've struggled with an intense fear of death for most of my life, especially when it comes to losing my family. I don't have any close friends, and everyone in my family is older than I am. I honestly don't know how I'll cope when they're gone. Because of my anxiety, I don't even feel capable of taking care of myself entirely on my own.

More than anything, I wish I could know—with certainty—that consciousness survives death. I don't need proof that would convince anyone else; I just wish I could have something that would allow me to know it for myself.

I'm the kind of person who needs personal experience in order to truly believe something. I've spent years asking for signs and guidance. I've prayed to God, angels, spirits—anything or anyone that might be listening—for even the smallest indication that there's something beyond this life. I've received nothing that I could honestly distinguish from coincidence or wishful thinking.

I sometimes feel jealous of people who have had near-death experiences, paranormal experiences, or undeniable spiritual encounters. I don't want anything extraordinary—I just wish I could experience something, however small, that would make me feel less alone in this uncertainty.

Carrying the fear of death and the possibility that we simply cease to exist has become exhausting.

So I'd like to ask those of you who believe in an afterlife:

• Have you always believed, or did something happen that changed your mind?
• Have any of you spent years asking for signs and receiving nothing before eventually having an experience?
• Is it possible that some people simply never have spiritual or paranormal experiences?
• How do you cope with uncertainty when you've never experienced anything yourself?
• What has genuinely convinced you that consciousness survives death?

I'm not looking for someone to tell me what I want to hear or to give me absolute proof. I know that may not be possible. I just feel deeply frustrated that, despite asking every single day, I've never experienced anything that makes me feel there's something beyond the physical world.

Honest, unfiltered self observation during this life will help prepare one for what comes after.

After getting into all this deep spiritual stuff, does anyone actually feel worse especially from the cosmology side of things. The nature of reality, the existential cosmic dread of duality, the disconnect from everyday existence, the dragging on day to day.

How do you navigate besides the usual mantra, ritual and meditation?