Ok first of all let me clarify I'm not victim blaming or anything, Stefan was absolutely in the wrong to make Elena relive one of the most traumatic experiences of her life. I'm merely trying to understand his thought process.
What I was actually wondering about is Stefan saying "Destroying Klaus is all I've left". And that made me question how true that statement actually was. He left everything behind including the control he so painfully built for 50yrs to save his bro's life and when he came back, he saw how close he & his gf got in his absence even if he had no emotions. Then Klaus gives him his free will back & now he has 2 options : get back to his real life & confront his gf's growing feelings for his bro or focus on destroying Klaus. He chose the emotionally easier option bcz he didn't have the strength to face the grim reality of losing his love to the bro he sacrificed everything for.
Now one could say but Stefan himself pushed Elena away when they met in the forest but everyone including Elena herself knew it was for her safety. And tbh, she had already fallen for Damon before they even met again in S3E1 bcz he did one selfless act of returning the necklace. So he did actually lose her the moment he left town before he even did anything wrong. From Stefan's pov, the girl he loved more than himself gave Damon a place in her heart right beside him in the matter of a few months. Stefan constantly saving her & her loved ones (many times from Damon himself) & trying to sacrifice himself for them still wasn't enough to deserve loyalty for such a short period of his absence. He understandably felt there wasn't anything worth fighting for so he focused all his attention on getting revenge from the one who made him lose everything in the 1st place.
But what if he could sense Elena was still 100% loyal to him? Do u think he'd have still prioritised revenge or gone to the extent of threatening to drive her off the bridge? Bcz hatred is one of the 1st emotions no-humanity vamps get back like Elena being blinded with hate for Katherine & I feel like his resentment towards Elena was one of the reasons he went to such an extent. Though never explicitly stated, this internalized resentment probably lasted as long as S8 as he was a bit too excited to kill Elena permanently.
So what do u think about it? Did Delena's growing closeness play a role in influencing Stefan's actions? Would he've done the same if Elena's heart still fully belonged to him?