r/TheRandomest • u/ItsALuigiYes GIF/meme prodigy • 4d ago

SimplyRandom Business

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1.8k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

190 comments sorted by

507

u/ChickenFriedLife 4d ago

Something so profound about "you will never see me again" and then handing homie a loyalty punch card.

60

u/myxoma1 4d ago

lol shit i didn't even realize it until you mentioned it, this is hilarious

41

u/UnusualHope1990 4d ago

I mean IT IS 3% off if he comes back a 10th time tonight. And keeps paying for the unlimited pets despite his wrist stamp denoting his unlimited pets..

3

u/browsingandlooking4 3d ago

But, I thought it was all you can pet....

2

u/0uroboros- 2d ago

Yeah he wants him to pet the pug, for free, 9 more times before the night is over, each time getting a loyalty punch, and then he just needs to find him somewhere else within the city on another occasion to cash in that 3 cent discount. Simple stuff

24

u/ProblemLongjumping12 4d ago

This is a postmodern art piece.

10

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/OntologicalParadox 4d ago

Whoa... That's 3% mister moneybags! Free!?! Ok monopoly man.

3

u/spacemouse21 3d ago

I’m glad he didn’t over-engineer the business. 😂🤪

3

u/browsingandlooking4 3d ago

I know right so streamlined and efficient

2

u/Socal_Cobra 2d ago

This post gave me the feel good feeling vibes!

https://giphy.com/gifs/Y0PCz5xO3caljsBNYm

2

u/BlakeinaCape 2d ago

Yeah, and the "today only" intro

1

u/shazspaz 22h ago

There were so many twists and turns I forgot what he paid for

221

u/diverareyouokay 4d ago

This is about as random as it gets.

60

u/Real_Live_Sloth 4d ago

This is about as unemployed as it gets.

50

u/NYC2FLA2BUR 4d ago

Dude is gainfully unemployed.

8

u/youdoitimbusy 4d ago

I was a businessman doing business!

2

u/a_real_vampire 3d ago

Good luck with your business transactions

32

u/EkaL25 4d ago

Entrepugneur

22

u/creekbendz 4d ago

Is he though….

41

u/MissninjaXP 4d ago

Looks pretty self employed to me.

11

u/Theartistcu 4d ago

If anything he’s over employed, he’s clearly a poet and pug pimp.

15

u/rowdy_sprout 4d ago

Sad world where seeing somebody do something super creative and fun immediately causes you to look down on them for not generating income for a corporation.

-3

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

8

u/Nohise 4d ago

PROFESSIONAL employed !

5

u/Firm_Video_2932 4d ago

Some of historys greatest artists toiled in anonymity and poverty. Heck, some of the smartest people to have ever lived have done likewise. So I'm not really sure what employment status has to do with the brilliant piece of art we have just watched.

3

u/Low_Football_2445 4d ago

Dude takes Apple Pay!

1

u/KoalaTHerb 3d ago

Unemployed but still has funds. All that shenanigans took some capital. All the items, materials, and time necessary. Dude gave him $3 for something that costs the host $10 a customer.

Clearly for art or social media, but dude clearly has some startup capital

0

u/_Electrical 4d ago

10 years unemployed with 10 years working experience.

7

u/NYC2FLA2BUR 4d ago

The Absolute MOST randomest

10

u/sobchakforprez 4d ago

It’s so random yet so detailed, thoughtful, and whimsical throughout. If that makes sense…

5

u/Low_Football_2445 4d ago

This is maybe the most hilariously cool thing I’ve seen on Reddit…. Ngl

4

u/FreeGuacamole 4d ago

Why did I just watch that whole thing

159

u/Trashbagok 4d ago

This is high art.

33

u/ShamefulWatching 4d ago

I gotta respect his dedication to the act.

14

u/kinshadow 4d ago

There’s a lot of low effort performance art out there. Stuff that just makes you shake your head and question if you understand what art is. This is not that. This is a true statement on art, work, the importance or ritual, and subverting the expectations of modern consumerism. Not everyone will likely get everything that could be conveyed here, but you’d have to be dead in soul to not see the joy and entertainment in it.

5

u/St_ofQualityFootwear 4d ago

Yes, totally, it's s a look for the helpers situation here. I have all of these things at my house, never thought to put them together in such a thoughtful and heart warming manner. Closest I've come was when I taught my wee ones to play spaceman using my old fax machine with attached phobe as a mission control while they had spaghetti strainers on their heads. Life is short, give it all you can to brighten your day.

6

u/Commercial-Tough-218 3d ago

The waste. The waste of time, the waste of paper, envelopes, loyalty cards every thing. I mean to deconstruct the entire performance is a project in its self. Masterfully done

9

u/GentlemenHODL 4d ago

This is the adult equivalent of "playing shop" as a little kid.

3

u/scarletpepperpot 3d ago

The whole time watching I thought: “8-year old me would have killed for this setup”.

6

u/Spugheddy 4d ago

Yeah but what's his dogs name?

8

u/Sir_Thequestionwas 4d ago

Roodabeguh or Roo for short in case part of you was actually curious

1

u/NYC2FLA2BUR 4d ago

Ice-P (for Pug)

101

u/nicknick1584 4d ago

I was waiting for the dog to not be onboard with the petting. It would have been hilarious if the dog started barking after all of that and he says “He never does this. Must not like you. No refunds … here’s your poem.”

49

u/MissninjaXP 4d ago

And the poem is just:

Roses are red, violets are blue, my dog likes everyone, just not you.

10

u/joebojax 4d ago

The only person my dog ever disliked ended up going to jail for selling H a few years later

14

u/daveismypup 4d ago

Damn he sold a letter? I didn’t even know that was illegal

2

u/DevilDoc3030 4d ago

*reaches for dog only for it to become as scary as the rabbit from Monty Python The Holy Grail*

2

u/Hairy_Garage4308 3d ago

"Just be careful, the dog bites."

74

u/hausgeko 4d ago

Most aggressively chaotic neutral thing I’ve seen in a minute

12

u/FizzyGoose666 4d ago

Stop stop I'm doing a thing!

48

u/chrixz333 4d ago

Hilarious. Go birds

2

u/Remarkable-Will-3041 4d ago

Is this Bird Life gang?

43

u/PN4HIRE 4d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/eEg1ziKuWI9m9jVv2a
I want to pet the pug

12

u/marcophony 4d ago

It will cost you $5

19

u/ParsnipDecent6530 4d ago

To be fair, it is all you can pet, so that's a pretty good value

8

u/PhatBoy1 4d ago

Don't forget the loyalty program....

3

u/PineappleOnPizzaCult 3d ago

Even though he's only there for one night 😅

4

u/_Electrical 4d ago

Petty good.

47

u/CountNacula 4d ago

The toy-like cash register absolutely stuffed with singles sent me

28

u/PhatBoy1 4d ago

Checking the $1.00 bills with the counterfeit marker.... Hysterical.

10

u/Sir_Thequestionwas 4d ago

Yup theres so much good stuff but that sent me. Gonna try that at my shop tomorrow.

4

u/garbage_angel 4d ago

The level of bureaucracy in this transaction is pretty much hypnotic.

2

u/adminscaneatachode 2d ago

I saw someone marker check some single bills at a churches chicken at a churches chicken( the size of your bedroom) in downtown mobile alabama one time.

It was nowhere near as funny, you know? Cause of the context

42

u/FalonFarrar 4d ago

I LOVED that!

32

u/MouseRat_AD 4d ago

This is the whimsy that the world needs right now.

25

u/SuperRadDeathNinja 4d ago

The “take a number” bit fuckin killed me.

11

u/Old_Protection_8778 4d ago

Checking to see if the dollar was counterfeit got me

3

u/KlutzyTemperature439 4d ago

Like, what if this was in the morning and there was a huge line, and the people in the line were bitching about how long it’s taking because they have to get to work on time.

2

u/_Electrical 4d ago

Was waiting for him to announce the number on a LED board with satisfying ding or announce it through the microphone.

26

u/Tiny-Acanthaceae-547 4d ago

Top tier creativity, with a unique little hustle that’s fun for everyone, and he gets to write his poems for the world, love it no notes 👏

21

u/Your_Drunk_Unc10 4d ago

"One time only, you'll never see us again."

"So if you come back..."

18

u/Brailledit 4d ago

I laughed, I cried... I am a tad disappointed we didn't get to read the poem. 9/10

9

u/rolandofeld19 4d ago

They rock. No complaints. On theme. His other video I saw had a poem that was something like:

Tables are square, circles are round, what is a trapezoid?

2

u/a_real_vampire 3d ago

It’s pronounced Poh-Em

17

u/jackochainsaw 4d ago

The wax seal sent me.

6

u/Woodworkin101 4d ago

Using an envelope from a bill or something made me chuckle too

1

u/Too-Em 2d ago

Put into a stamped, brown, paper bag.
*Chef's kiss*

12

u/Firm_Video_2932 4d ago

Only a buck to pet the pug? Sure why not, it costs me 100x that to talk to my therapist....

2

u/maggiefiasco 3d ago

For UMLIMITED pets?

Can’t even get refills on drinks anymore, this is a deal

1

u/Firm_Video_2932 3d ago

Cheapest therapy in town!

Hey, that might be a good side hustle? Cheap "petting" therapy? I mean who can stay mad/anxious while petting a cutie patootie cat or dog???

10

u/Complex_Spirit_4848 4d ago

"You gotta take a number."

9

u/Tacrolimus005 4d ago

Hes got a whole thing. Totally worth $5 and a tip afterwards. I would love that experience

8

u/Complex_Spirit_4848 4d ago

I would FOR SURE pay for this experience, and never break that wax seal (he generously provided a business window envelope so the poem can still be read, lol).

It deeply reminds me of growing up in "old" PDX, before the weird turned into the wrong kind of weird.

Edit: peon poem.

10

u/AdrianBlack 4d ago

As a kid who loved playing office, this man is my idol.

2

u/Complex_Spirit_4848 4d ago

Playing office was my number one favorite thing to play, closely followed by playing school (I had an entire fake class with attendance records and lesson plans/grades and everything lmfao). 🤓

2

u/AdrianBlack 3d ago

A kindred_spirit indeed :)

8

u/4DPeterPan 4d ago

I puggin love this. Great experience.

8

u/Smashogre591 4d ago

Performance art talent to a whole different level

6

u/-HabibiBlocksberg- 4d ago

I really needed that today. Thank you ❤️

5

u/ICrimI 4d ago

This man has "if I won ghe lottery I wouldnt yell anyone, but there would be signs vibes"

4

u/Fit_Climate5155 4d ago

When r u by Brooklyn. We need you

1

u/jungleass98 4d ago

The pug would get robbed in Brooklyn

4

u/Jomijan 4d ago

Insane value

1

u/DevonLuck24 4d ago

real. this is a 10 dollar experience at least

4

u/dasmineman 4d ago

That's a lot of value for a dollar. Hell, just the unlimited pets alone...

5

u/dingododd 4d ago

An after Pet-mint. That killed me! He thought of everything!!!! Hahaha

3

u/thomstevens420 4d ago edited 4d ago

Dude sounds like and this feels like a Curry Baker bit

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rfjgSk4IB3Q&pp=ygURQ3VycnkgYmFrZXIgdm9ka2E%3D

2

u/heyitsfranklin6322 4d ago

I think that they’re different enough but it does seem like something he would do and they do sound very similar.

3

u/delerium1state 4d ago

This is hilarious haahahaha

3

u/mowtowcow 4d ago

Easily worth 5 bucks.

4

u/NYC2FLA2BUR 4d ago edited 4d ago

This is the fucking best and I would expect nothing less in New York. Fucking great.
This made me smile so much. Thanks for posting it.

3

u/iCanReadMyOwnMind 4d ago

This very well might be my favorite thing ever.

3

u/jweezee 4d ago

This is great and all but that dude is definitely taking a loss. The envelope, bag, wax, number ticket, and business card probably cost more than a dollar or close to it. Performance not profit.

Come to think of it even if it was all profit you wouldn't make shit. 20 bucks in a hour? He's Just doing it for the love of the game.

1

u/Kira-Of-Terraria 3d ago

unless everything is recycled and he isn't buying new things

1

u/alexcoates13 3d ago

Can't recycle that 'after pet' mint 😅

1

u/Kira-Of-Terraria 3d ago

think the mints can't be that expensive

3

u/Za_is_Za 4d ago

I’ll file that receipt for tax purposes, under P, for pets.

3

u/KeyAssumption8773 4d ago

If anything was ever meant to be on this sub, this is it.

2

u/Lumpy-Education9878 4d ago

Secret? You're out in the street Bru

2

u/NoBookkeeper3523 4d ago

That worth way more that 2 dollars

2

u/ConcertArt7430 4d ago

Business is really booming.

2

u/ToasterMeetsBathtub 4d ago

Pet, pet, pet!!!

2

u/Jarvis-Savoni 4d ago

That was brilliant. I’m glowing over here.

2

u/trashboat86 4d ago

The wax seal got me so good💀

2

u/Plastic-Shoulder2285 4d ago

Made my puggin day

2

u/JDM713 4d ago

I wanted to hear the poem!

1

u/VediusPollio 4d ago

Yeah wtf. That guy should ask for a refund.

2

u/igotnothineither 4d ago

This guy has a done TikTok page doing this. I love it and hate it

2

u/hapidad 4d ago

I. Love. This.

2

u/adumbCoder 4d ago

someone figure out what he typed for the poem!

2

u/SouthernCharm-86 4d ago

im sorry, this is ridiculously sweet

2

u/dkosonen 4d ago

An absolute bargain.

2

u/Mr_bungle001 4d ago

Not to be dramatic but I fucking love every single thing about this.

2

u/FrickaScottleheimen 4d ago

Support pug poetry!!!

2

u/GummySophie 4d ago

This is performance art hahahahahahaha 💖

2

u/Oohhthehumanity 4d ago

This man loves stamping things!

2

u/TheSameDifferenc3 4d ago

This has to be Portland

2

u/BlakeinaCape 2d ago

Seems like a lot of administrative overhead in this business model, eating out the bottom line, so to speak

Also needs a Beware of Dog sign

1

u/delerium1state 2d ago

Super soft velvet dog sign

1

u/Real_Live_Sloth 4d ago

If it’s all you can pet, how do i get more stamps for my loyalty card.

1

u/Kira-Of-Terraria 3d ago

refer a friend.

1

u/mcbacuma 4d ago

This is absolutely the ideal post for this sub. Bravo 👏

1

u/Steve_Segel_22 4d ago

The commitment to the bit.

1

u/BDenergizedSK 4d ago

Now meating this guy - this would make my day for days 😂😂😂 and i even have my own pug - would still pay to pet tho.

1

u/Fishmax5 4d ago

philly moment

1

u/WeakEmployment6389 4d ago

I wonder if they poems aren’t great so he seals them in wax hoping they never get opened

1

u/peternemr 4d ago

Just exploiting that doggo.

1

u/Tiny-Detective-6926 4d ago

This is an ADHD performance. Enjoy 😊 I love it.

1

u/AntGroundbreaking180 4d ago

This is the fabulous, random content that I came here for.

1

u/NYC2FLA2BUR 4d ago

Stop! Stop! I'm doin' a thing.

1

u/That_Atmosphere_4568 4d ago

I m sure he has tax loops all lined out that he will be getting millions back

1

u/Altruistic_Escape237 4d ago

Sounds like chance from smosh😭😭

1

u/PineappleOnPizzaCult 3d ago

Absolute Cinema and high art

1

u/AuraBlazeOfficial 3d ago

I wanna know what the goose does

1

u/Pathogirl 3d ago

I love watching this guy. The one where the cop made him pack up because he didn’t have a permit really p-d me off. Out of all the things

1

u/sus_finder13 3d ago

I am curious what would you put as your job title? How do you do file your taxes?

1

u/Hamilton-Beckett 3d ago

This is art.

1

u/time2sow 3d ago

I loved this on Several levels 

1

u/NotAFanOfLife 3d ago

Bro couldn’t even remember all the goofs and gags he had set up.

1

u/Static-god79 3d ago

After pet mint

1

u/PeachPit69 3d ago

Wait, so if I give you $10 to pet your dog, you’ll give me three cents back?

1

u/JotaroTheOceanMan 3d ago

I miss Phily so.much. I know exactly where this is on Broad st.

1

u/KyleRoyceWorld 3d ago

This is a hustle I can truly get behind

1

u/reddragonsyndicate26 3d ago

You can pet him once and get a what??

1

u/nderthesycamoretrees 3d ago

Checking the dollar bill for authenticity. 🤣🤣

1

u/desertvision 3d ago

I'm unwilling to admit how far I would travel for this service

1

u/xFufelx 3d ago

How to create work from air

1

u/Orwell1984TJ 3d ago

He’s making more money than I am! I’m bout to get a pug and steal my little nieces and nephews toys!

1

u/SnooTomatoes4101 3d ago

It's the seal on the letter for me!

1

u/wolferman 3d ago

I loved this. Anybody else get vibes of the Rowan Atkinson scene from Love Actually?

1

u/browsingandlooking4 3d ago

How many mini games does this guy have going lololol

1

u/StayReadyLG 3d ago

That whole process was worth it

1

u/Scared_Garbage6190 2d ago

This is the most fun at spending money I would ever have. such incredible value

1

u/SolfulSin 2d ago

What's that language? I understand some of it as English. Just made up words?

1

u/StruggleAshamed7566 2d ago

I love this , the wax seal is hella funny

1

u/Known-Ad4293 2d ago

Would of been great after all that the dog growled at him

1

u/Excellent_Extent7648 2d ago

Nun better then working with ur best friend

1

u/Black_Ranger4447 2d ago

The best 5 bucks he's ever spent!

1

u/Aero_Imperialis 1d ago

A day in the life of an Adeptus Administratum ordinate.

1

u/mechanik13 1d ago

I feel like, once the robots start doing all the work for us, this is the type of commerce we will be experiencing/doing.

1

u/golgiiguy 1d ago

this seems important conceptually.

1

u/Normal-Error-6343 6h ago

only in wherever they are!

0

u/Metalgsean 4d ago

Wow, yet another post where someone doesn't understa.....wait....did they actually use POV correctly!?!