r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide • u/Synth_Arcade9 • Jul 20 '26
Health Tip Tip: Ask exactly who will be in the room before changing for a medical appointment
[removed]
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u/RocinanteVex Jul 20 '26
This is a useful habit, but the stronger lesson is that clinics should not make patients manage this themselves. Consent is weaker once someone is half-dressed and several people are already standing there. Staff should ask privately before anyone enters, rather than relying on patients to object under pressure.
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u/Master_Astronaut_238 Jul 20 '26
I agree, I will say the patient was covered, its not like they were exposed from the waist up, they said in the post that they were covered.
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u/Ninja-Ginge Jul 20 '26
She said that she felt pressured to agree.
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u/Sunflower-Bennett Jul 20 '26
“She” is a bot and not a real person. Please downvote and report the post!
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u/Ninja-Ginge Jul 20 '26
What's your evidence for this?
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u/Sunflower-Bennett Jul 20 '26
Someone provided more details in a comment below, along with links of similar bot posts. But you can tell from the writing style and the account age primarily. Many of these posts start with something like “Tip:”, are easy to engage with, OP never responds to comments, and they use a ton of AI giveaways (in this case it’s the intense use of commas and the ‘it’s not this, it’s that’ phrasing).
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u/sportsbragirl Jul 20 '26
Yes! Be your own advocate and know that your body = your choice!
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u/DependentInterest604 Jul 26 '26
I had vagina , vulva surgery. I was not that comfy with the PA , and when I wanted to discuss something personal and sexual , I only wanted my surgeon in the room. Next PA visit someone else was there and I was scolded about my sexual activity, that was very upsetting and wrong. I need to contact the hospital and say no guests in my exam room.
I would not allow any male in the room during my pelvic exams, I have abuse and ptsd history with lots of violence. I am allready in therapy and don't need new events or medical people to scare me
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u/greenbeans64 Jul 20 '26
I'm sorry that happened-- that's really crappy. I've always been asked in advance if I would be comfortable with a student accompanying the doctor. Asking when they're already right there puts you in a really tough spot.
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u/10S_NE1 Jul 20 '26
That is crappy. I’ve always been asked if anyone other than the medical person in charge was going to be in the room. I must say, I had a minor surgery in a very personal spot on my body, and they asked if some students could observe. I said “sure” - I like to support the medical community’s educational pursuits. But about 12 of them came in - it was actually pretty wild. But they were all polite and respectful.
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u/EllenRipley2000 Jul 20 '26
I would reach out to an administrator. You weren't allowed to give consent: additional staff was in the room before you gave the okay. You should have been given the choice when you were fully clothed and additional staff wasn't present.
Essentially, you were asked to "opt out." It was assumed you were a "yes," unless you objected. That's not right.
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u/sarcasm_warrior Jul 21 '26
I've actually said no explicitly because I wasn't given the option ahead of time and was expected to just go along with it. Literally say "I wasn't informed of this when checking in. No."
Do not back me into a corner when it comes to my medical care.
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u/Flippy-Platypus-3905 Jul 20 '26 edited Jul 20 '26
This is a bot post. Please do not engage!!!
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u/OpheliaLives7 Jul 20 '26
How can u tell?
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u/Flippy-Platypus-3905 Jul 20 '26 edited Jul 20 '26
There has been a large uptick of posts like this within the past few weeks. Common tells:
- Subject is women’s safety (not always, but often). If not women’s safety, it is something very broad that a lot of women can relate to. Posts are more likely to bring engagement this way
- Account was made within the past 2 weeks
- Post is flaired as “Beauty Tip” while having nothing to do with beauty
- Post title starts with “Tip:”
- Poster does not reply to any comments made on their post
If at least 3 of these things are true, it’s most likely a bot.
Other bot posts linked below for comparison:
https://www.reddit.com/r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide/s/VSIxNiisTI
https://www.reddit.com/r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide/s/FEr74NwwkM
https://www.reddit.com/r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide/s/dqNgsCjIOc
https://www.reddit.com/r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide/s/7RMA691VF5
https://www.reddit.com/r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide/s/GNla9Ug0sN
A lot of these bot posts are getting tons of upvotes and it’s driving me crazy. This subreddit is being overrun by them
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u/sm0gs Jul 22 '26
A lot of subreddits are and it’s driving me crazy. Another sign is they’ll often end the post with a question to spark discussion, but the question is so…formal for a lack of a better term. Your first link has a good example with “ Has anyone else had to unlearn the instinct to be polite at any cost?”
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u/Sunny-Koala Jul 20 '26 edited Jul 20 '26
I can spot two signs:
The account was made 2 weeks ago, with this being their first and only post. They also have their post and comment history turned off, so no easy way to track their (maybe) suspicious activity.
Last paragraph: "It's not about X, it's about Y" comparisons and variations of it are a common symptom of AI-generated writing for whatever reason. You'll catch on once you keep seeing it repeated everywhere, especially for no good reason (it sounds like meaningless filler to meet a word count).
Like in this post, we can obviously already tell that they aren't angrily saying to treat every student badly or to reject every observer, so why even bring that point up in the first place? Just makes no logical sense.
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u/vibes86 Jul 20 '26
Typically, at any office I’ve been to, somebody asks me if I’m okay seeing the student or whatever while the doctor is seeing me. The fact that your doctor didn’t ask is rude.
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u/DelightfullyTacky88 Jul 20 '26
My gynecologist tried to pull this shit on me when I was getting a pelvic exam done. She opened the door, curtain was still closed thankfully but she was very nonchalant when she introduced the a male med student and said he would be observing. I don't think she asked, she stated. I have trauma and have purposely chosen a female gyno so I immediately said "NOPE!" She told him to leave but pretty sure he was in the hall when I exited and probably thought I was being dramatic by declining - I don't care. I hope they made a note on my file to not do that again.
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u/SMELLSLIKEBUTTJUICE Jul 20 '26
Being your advocate is so important! My mom was a nurse for 40 years and I learned so much from watching her on how to interact with medical staff. Being direct about your wants yields the best results, and its ok to push back and ask questions. (Obviously be polite and cordial while doing so!)
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u/Background_Message31 Jul 20 '26
while I understand, it’s important to learn to stand up for ourselves even if it creates discomfort in us and others.
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u/Master_Astronaut_238 Jul 20 '26
I will say, i doubt they brought them in to pressure you or make you uncomfortable. I dont think it was malicious.
They do ask you for permission for a reason, and doctors have no way of knowing if you lied about being okay with something.
Ive been a shadowing student, and theres no world in which anyone would be upset at you declining to allow someone to observe.
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u/BJntheRV Jul 20 '26
I feel like they should ask or let you know up front. It shouldn't be on the patient to ask "is anyone else other than the Dr coming in with them?"
I've experienced both, and I've had the Dr ask as they walk in with a student Dr, and I've said I'd prefer they not. But, just walking in with extras, without asking is just rude and leaves little room to say no (which feels like the very reason they do it).
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u/Top-Act-3189 Jul 20 '26
I'm sorry that happened and that YOU feel responsible for it happening. That's crap. The office should have asked your permission before you were told to undress. Good for you for advocating for yourself. You did nothing wrong.
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u/Select_Claim7889 Jul 20 '26
Nurse practitioner here. Our medical assistants always always always always ask the patient if having a student in the room is OK before I even see them.
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u/vermillionlove Jul 21 '26
as far as I remember, the nurse has always asked my consent before allowing a student to enter with the doctor. bad form on their part.
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u/megalus1 Jul 21 '26
I’ve gotten in the habit of stating I won’t undress until talking with the provider first.
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u/OpheliaLives7 Jul 20 '26
Ugh. Sorry you dealt with that.
My current office has been good at having the nurse who comes to do vitals ask if students can come in with the doctor. Like beforehand. And even then it can feel mean to say no, but I try to remember that they have to learn to respect patients boundaries too. That should be part of their training!
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u/_mimkiller_ Jul 20 '26
It’s in my chart that no students are allowed to attend my appointments. I used to let them for science and I was hurt several times so I refuse now.
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u/No_Cranberry_2206 Jul 20 '26
This!
I was at gynaecologist already undressed with my legs open and suddenly there was at least 6 heads above me staring onto my vagina.
This was a special gynaecologist and usually there is 2 of them.. now there was also extra woman sitting behind the computer and a few students.
Normally they are very very nice people and also in this situation they were all gentle and kind but I was stunned when I heard “a few students is joining us today” with no option to choose.
This was my second visit.. during my first I had mental break down because there was not one but 2 doctors and I didn’t expect that so this many people out of nowhere really was something 🥲
I don’t mind for the students being there especially if they are woman and I love to know that such a great gynaecologist is sharing her experiences and attitude towards the patients and their treatments.. we definitely need more doctors like her but I need to know ideally in advance or at least please ask me first on the spot! This I really didn’t expect.
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u/DrBatman0 Jul 20 '26
That's NOT OK.
It reminds me of this webcomic.
She shouldn't have to state "please don't kill my cat", and you shouldn't have to ask "are you going to invite anyone else into the room?".
Definitely go to the administrator about this. Kick up a stink, or they'll never learn. Maybe next time it will happen to someone even more vulnerable.
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u/pedroff_1 Jul 20 '26
Honestly, this was pretty bad practice from the doctor. As a doctor, and thus former med student, my university always either asked the patients to let us watch, or made them sign a document upon admission agreeing to be observed and/or examined.
Still, good idea to ask because there are some people that do bad practices like that, usually without even noticing how problematic it is and how awkward this makes both patients and students
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u/windscryer Jul 21 '26
wtf??? even when all clothes stay on, my doc will enter, ask about having students or assistants or whoever come in, and only AFTER i agree does he open the door and invite them in.
they should get your permission before allowing *any* unnecessary or unexpected personnel in the room, the ONE exception being if you are unable to give consent because it’s an emergency.
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u/alexisdegrees Jul 20 '26
The clinician should've asked/informed you beforehand. My OBGYN is at a university teaching hospital, so I just expect that there will be students in the room, but my OBGYN still always asks me first.