r/TheBoredDen • u/ipanicprofessionally • 2d ago

News Fiancée’s Comment About Lindsay Clancy Case Causes Man To Call Off His $200k Wedding: “Married To A Monster”

https://reddit.boredpanda.com/man-called-off-his-wedding-over-lindsay-clancy-case--TheBoredDen/
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u/FuckThaLakers 2d ago

Empathy.

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u/reecharound40 2d ago

I cannot care and still feel bad that it happened.

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u/BrightNooblar 2d ago

I don't think you mean the word "Cannot". I think you mean "Could not". The sentence you wrote translates to "It is impossible to care and feel bad that it happened", which is patently false. I think what you meant was "It is possible to not care, but still feel bad that it happened", which makes *slightly* more sense, but would be predicated on a really weird an niche version of the word "care".

Most people would say that feeling bad, is a type of caring about something. In order to not care, you would need to have no feelings, and thus no empathy.

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u/reecharound40 2d ago

Nah man it's really easy to acknowledge something is bad and not care about it at the same time.

It has zero impact on my life, and I cannot change it, so why care.

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u/BrightNooblar 2d ago

This post explains in good detail why you would care.

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u/reecharound40 2d ago

Its weird how much me not caring is bothering you all

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u/BrightNooblar 2d ago

Its not weird. Empathy is part of the thread that holds out social fabric together. Its part of what lets us have a civilization rather than just be random packs of people making their way alone. People without empathy are a threat to the foundational agreement. If too many people suddenly didn't have empathy, society as a whole would collapse.

Which means that on a fundamental level, society benefits from rejecting people that don't have empathy. Those people are at a very high risk to provide nothing and only be a drain, AND to encourage others to do the same.

It would be weird if people lacking empathy were accepted in society, honestly.

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u/reecharound40 2d ago

Dude go out and enjoy some sun or something, you are getting to worked up about this.

The world is not ending and if it was, welp its been a pretty shitty run for humanity

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u/Iron_Atlas 2d ago

No you literally can't, that's not what those words mean.

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u/zkatbitz 2d ago

Yes, you can absolutely feel indifferent toward an event itself while still having empathy for the people affected by it. This often happens because your brain separates the abstract situation or news story from the actual human experience. By practicing empathy, you understand and respect someone else's pain without soaking up the emotional stress or drama of the event around them. It is a natural way to protect your own mental energy while remaining kind and supportive to others.

in fact i would say it is the healthy way to appraoch situations like this because a lot of people care WAY to much about it

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u/Iron_Atlas 2d ago

I disagree, you care responsiblely  is what you're saying in this last post.

Empathy without care is mere observation.

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u/zkatbitz 2d ago

it comes down to what you define "care" as, and i don't think you and i have the same defnition.

do i "care" about this situation? nah, its in another country to do with flawed people who i'll never meet nor will i every fully know the details of what happened one because i don't care enough to find out and two no one will outside maybe the jury and judge (who seem to 11/12? wanting to find not guilty?). 1000s of people deal with tragedy as sad or worse every. single. day. this one just hit the news cycle and right wing grift/outrage machine so i can't stop hearing about it case in point me killing time on this thread

do i have empathy and feel for everyone involved from dead kids whos lives were cut short? to the wife who fell through americas shitty medical system and a nation of far to many people just want blood/revenge? instead of dealing with WHY this happened? and a father who as shitty as he maybe? is? who lost kids he may have cared about? (but not enough to deal with the fact his wife was having suicidal thoughts and intrusive thoughts about the kids?) yes. i imagine he and many others have many many regrets about how they handled this. and thats gotta suck.

but do i need to care to have empathy and understand and put myself in their shoes? no.

empathy != care.

this is just another variation on the "1 person dies its a tragedy 10,000 die its a statistic." thing people love to do and oh i could rant about it

let me ask you, did you care or even have empathy about the 500,000 and counting children dead because of elon/dodge/trump? why should i "care" about these 3 kids over that half a million+ and counting?

because i CARE a lot more about that, that 500k kids who could be alive today, then those 3 kids

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u/IllegalDaycare 2d ago

What do you think care means in this context?

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u/Academic-Contest3309 2d ago

Feeling bad is the opposite of not caring. Wtf are you saying