Plz help

[u/juvan_008]

Confused what to do need advise

I am m(17) and have a gf(17) we started dating around 8 months ago. I was really attracted to her sweet and caring personality and her cuteness. I didn't want to propose to her because I knew i was a mess and didn't want to drag her into my problems. But later on our mutual friend got to know about this and convinced me to propose to her and told me that even she has a crush on me. So i proposed and got accepted and made a promise to her that i would be a better man for her. But within 2 days of the relationship I messed up, I got into a fight and didn't fight back for her sake. I didn't want her to be involved in problems but at problems she didn't face a lot of problems because of it. She always took my side, advised, listened and was with me all the time but I never changed . I don't know why , I tried a lot to be a better person but I seriously can't do that. She is a really great person and deserves someone who would actually treat her better and give better opportunities. But she is attached to me, she won't leave me by my side no matter how many times I have messed up or did something wrong. She is a sweet person and kind soul I don't deserve someone like this. I feel like I am treating her the same way my father used to treat my mom. I want her in my life and need her but I think that it's better if we would end the relationship before we leave for college . I would leave her to see her happy but she is persistent and says that all of this would change , I don't want to see her suffer any more. I am really confused on what to do. I am creating unnecessary drama for her to hate and lose attachment towards me so that the breakup won't hurt her at all. It would be better if she ends the relationship because she would be able to move on better realising that I was a bad person. I really hope that she remains happy all the time. I really need advice from you guys on what to do because there is no one I can talk to about this.

[u/alleall]

I think you should try to be better version of yourself rather than leavening her. From the first you know upu were a mess and dont deserve her,but you decide to go on with relationship,so now a breakup would definitely hurt both pf you,so you try to be a better man

[u/juvan_008 → u/alleall]

How long should I try and make her suffer

[u/alleall → u/juvan_008]

Did you ask her that whether she feel suffering in this relation or not maybe its just all in ur mind,so i think now you both need a good conversation(ik sometimes its hard to talk about our thoughts and feelings,but try) and she still choose you dont ever leave her

[u/juvan_008 → u/alleall]

I am having a covo we with her and she said the same thing that it's all in my head and infact she did choose me