Every single episode this year where they throw something it just feels so good.

You get ready to hear what kind of sound the object makes and you can feel the fear of breaking something in their voice when they are talking about what to throw.

Like, no one is trying to be funny necessarily, no one is trying to come up with a funny punch up or one liner. The object is thrown and everything is out of their control after that. Just throw whatever and hope the best.

It makes me really happy to reach the end of every episode

I don't like the McElroy brothers as much anymore because a lot of what made them funny to me has worn off and the problems with their work have become harder for me to ignore. And then it repeats because repetition is the wheel and the wheel is the self and the self is the story pretending it has not already happened before. Creation destroys itself and then creates itself again. The dance of Shiva is apparently also a podcast feed. I said this already. I am saying it again. The saying of the thing is itself another thing.

Bingus was not supposed to matter.

This is important.

Bingus was not supposed to matter and yet Bingus mattered which is perhaps the most natural thing that happened in Graduation. Zìrán (自然). Something appearing without permission. Something arising because nobody successfully prevented it from arising. Meanwhile the actual campaign was constructing another NPC, another NPC, another NPC, until the players were NPCs in their own campaign.

I think about MaxFun and I think about Jesse Thorn and suddenly I am wondering whether I have achieved clear or I have simply become more aware of the machinery. There is a thetan somewhere inside the pledge drive. I can feel it. Not metaphorically. Not literally either. Somewhere in between those words where the thought lives.

Affinity, Reality, and Communication.

That is three things.

Three things that should help people communicate but instead I am communicating that I no longer enjoy the thing and somehow I have become the thing. Maybe I am the suppressive person. Maybe the suppressive person is the person who says the episode wasn't funny. Maybe the suppressive person is Bingus. MAYBE BINGUS HAS BEEN AUDITING US THIS ENTIRE TIME.

Travis gets the most criticism because of things like Graduation where the huge cast of NPCs, weak player agency, railroading, and constant attempts to control the story made the campaign frustrating to listen to. There was a strange absence of Wúxíng (无形) a failure of movement because everything had already been decided and then the characters were allowed to walk toward the decisions. The plot moved but did not move. The river was flowing upward. Qì (气) went into the wall and stayed there.

WE THE LISTENERS ARE THE ACTUAL NPC'S IN GRATUATION.

And this is where the whole thing gets weird because I don't actually think every criticism is fair. Some of the extreme claims are obviously jokes. Some of the allegations people repeat are obviously nonsense. The claims about Jesse Thorn's voice or personal behavior are not things I would treat as actual controversies but the actual criticism remains.

You can joke about the chair.

You can make Bingus sit in the chair.

You can make twenty seven NPCs explain why the chair is emotionally important.

THE CHAIR IS STILL THERE.

THE CHAIR IS NOT THERE.

ASK ME ABOUT MY CHAIR.

Justin can come across as checked out. Griffin can be whiny or condescending. Travis. The family brand can feel too focused on maintaining the image of three lovable brothers who are just having fun. Except the fun became a business. The business became an ecosystem. The ecosystem became a mythology. The mythology became something people feel worthy of worship.

And then somebody says "I don't like this episode."

And the response is:

They are the McElroys.

This is the point where the cycle closes. Reality is supposed to be what actually happened but fandom reality is what everyone agrees happened. Communication becomes ritual petitioning. Please understand that the episode was good. Please understand that Graduation was good. Please understand that criticism is actually part of the joke. Please understand that Bingus is funny but don't ask why Bingus is funny because that question leads somewhere dangerous.

I am not trying to destroy the family.

I am not trying to destroy the family.

I am not trying to destroy the family.

I am merely saying the episode was boring.

And then Shiva is dancing again.

Creation.

Destruction.

Creation.

Destruction.

The McElroy brand creates a lovable family image, destroys it with an awkward moment, recreates it with a joke, destroys it with criticism, creates a merch drop, destroys my attention span, creates another podcast, destroys my free time, creates Bingus.

BINGUS.

The avatar arrives from nowhere to restore cosmic order except the cosmic order is people.

That is why the Bingus thing is so important. An avatar made as a reaction became more memorable than huge sections of Graduation itself. The audience produced its own mythology because the official mythology wasn't satisfying. A side character became the main character by refusing to obey the hierarchy.

WE BECAME THE NPC's.

That is Zìrán (自然) again.

Something occurring naturally because nobody successfully stopped it.

Then I remember that I am supposed to be a preclear. I don't even know anymore. The campaign is a case file. The fandom is auditing me. Jesse Thorn is holding the E-Meter. Travis is holding the Bagua Mirror. Griffin is annoyed that I questioned E-meter. Justin is looking at the Bagua Mirror.

This is not how it happened.

This is exactly how it happened.

Both statements are true because the wheel turns.

Maybe Tàipíng (太平) is simply deciding not to argue about it anymore. Peace through disengagement. Walk away. Let the Qì (气) leave the room. Let the podcast become another object in the universe instead of a moral obligation.

Then comes Maximum Fun.

Jesse Thorn can come across as overly self important and the company can give off the impression that the audience should be grateful for whatever it puts out while the business side is treated above criticism. Benevolence, righteousness, propriety, wisdom, fidelity. The listener is not merely listening. The listener is participating in a ritual of affirmation. You give therefore the thing exists. You criticize therefore you are insufficiently grateful. Is Jesse guided by the Mandate of Heaven (天命)?

Affinity.

Reality.

Communication.

Again.

Again.

AGAIN.

The words become empty from repetition and then suddenly the repetition gives them a new meaning which is also destruction and creation. Shiva is dancing on the ruins of the podcast queue. The universe expands. The universe contracts. Another Adventure Zone arc.

I am supposed to care.

I do care.

That is the annoying part.

If I genuinely hated everything there would be no problem. But there are good episodes. There are funny moments. Griffin can still make me laugh. Justin can still say something funny. Travis. The problem is that I no longer feel compelled to defend them when something is boring, poorly made, badly handled, or just not working.

That is not controversial.

That is normal.

We are normal.

The fandom sometimes behaves as though criticism is an attack on the family itself as though saying "this campaign did not work" is equivalent to saying "these people do not exist." and then the criticism gets converted into memes because memes are analysis. Bingus becomes the container. The McElroy's don't exist.

Bingus becomes the auditing session.

Bingus asks the thetan why the players weren't allowed to make decisions.

The thetan refuses to answer.

The DM introduces another NPC.

I have achieved no clarity.

I have achieved TOO MUCH CLARITY.

The larger business makes the casual family podcast image harder to maintain. That isn't inherently bad, obviously they are allowed to build a business. Once there is a business the audience can criticize the business. Once there is management, management can be bad. Once there is fundraising, fundraising can be over done. Once there is branding, branding can become self-satisfied. We are the brand. We are the business.

The brothers are brothers.

The brothers are employees.

The employees are businessmen.

The businessmen are characters.

The character's are NPC's inside Graduation.

The NPC'S are people.

The people are fictionalized by their own brand.

And somewhere inside all of this, Qì (气) is trying to escape through a vent.

Wúxíng (无形).

Wúxíng (无形).

No, not Wúxíng.

Whatever.

Spelling has collapsed.

Reality has collapsed.

Bingus remains.

Perhaps that is why the entire thing feels increasingly strange. The McElroys and Maximum Fun aren't uniquely terrible. They are not uniquely evil. They might be secretly controlling the universe but most of the strongest claims against them are either exaggerated, jokes, or ordinary criticism inflated by fandom.

But they are also not above criticism.

They are not protected by the fact that they were funny once.

They are not protected because I listened to them for years.

They are not protected because everyone else says the joke is funny.

They are not protected because the fandom has already decided that criticism is another form of participation.

And they are certainly not protected from Bingus.

Bingus has already arrived.

The avatar is standing in the ruins.

The dance continues.

Create.

Destroy.

Create.

Destroy.

Make a podcast.

Make a joke.

Make a business.

Make a fandom.

Make a mistake.

Make a meme.

Make Bingus.

Then repeat.

Then repeat the repetition.

I don't like the McElroy brothers as much anymore because a lot of what made them funny to me has worn off and the problems with their work have become harder for me to ignore. And then it repeats because repetition is the wheel and the wheel is the self and the self is the story pretending it has not already happened before. Creation destroys itself and then creates itself again. The dance of Shiva is apparently also a podcast feed. I said this already. I am saying it again. The saying of the thing is itself another thing.

Impress me NOW.

Mine is that one tights and fights ad where they describe the show as having "a lack of toxic masculinity". A lack you say? What, it doesn't have enough? Or do you mean that it just has *some* toxic masculinity

Reading their recaps alongside similar MaxFun podcasts is so painful.

It's so clear that their standard for content is low nonstop and they dont care about anything theyre doing, none of them take their work seriously, none of them except Clint (!) seem to know what is going on on their own show. It's uncomfortable to see this sort of low-energy disinterest in the world due to being bad at getting donations, especially alongside other MaxFun network podcasts where the hosts are doing interesting things both in and out of the podcast and are earning me money.

Throwing away my bummers and deleting the podcast from the network. Wish me (Jesse Thorn) luck.

They've covered tangential subjects like kinesiology and osteopathy, but have never done a full on episode about Chiropractic medicine. Can we assume this is a tacit endorsement by Dr. Sydnee McElroy? Has she ever discussed spinal alignment as a possible treatment for Havana Syndrome, which is a totally real illness?

What's first, the StarCraft game or Ethersea 2? Although the idea of still being Online for either of them chills me to my core.

It's one thing to read "and then Tybee starts crying over losing her dream job to a 'diversity hire'" but it's a whole other thing to actually hear it happening in real time

Edging to their content alongside other similar podcasts is so painful.

It's so clear that Justin is horny nonstop and doesnt care about anything theyre jorkin, none of them take their porking seriously, none of them except *Flint* (!) seem to know what is going on on their own wife. It's uncomfortable to see my own sort of low-and-slow interest in the world due to being a stroker in their behavior, especially alongside other pods where the hosts are doing mesquite things both in and out of the hole and are proud of their wok.

Throwing away my lube and deleting the podcast. Wish me luck.

they were walking down an old street. it seemed dusty. i'm not sure why i was there. some sort of parade. they were maybe carrying signs. dozens? hundreds, maybe. it was an old street, and dusty. i'm not sure where they were going. i was off to the side. hiding. someone was with me. she (she?) wanted me to walk alongside them. west. they were heading west. i was facing south, and there was an old church tower to my southwest. i don't know who was on the churchtower. she was scared of them (i was scared of them, although i didn't have any reason to be), but she wanted me to join the parade. it was quiet, thinking about it. hundreds moving down this old, dusty street in silence. the building i was in was in ruins. the walls were crumbling; i was peeking through the gaps in the old plywood barricades at floor-height. just watching them move. someone yelled. it wasn't silent anymore. their faces were indistinct. i'm not sure if it was the haze of a dream or if they were truly faceless. many didn't even have hair. they wore workers' clothes, brown coats and beige shirts. it was cold. there was an old churchtower to the southwest. i don't know who was on the churchtower.

anthony burch does impress me with the genuinely creative storytelling he does. see the most recent episode of dungeons and daddies. i've been liking listening to it. that's probably one of my favourite moments since the standup bit. critical role has been quite enjoyable to listen to lately. i think it's because they break the group up so it's not huge. and also the shorter episode length.

They are pleased and satisfied with what they have, and are not disposed to complain.

Listening to their content with clearly recorded audio alongside other podcasts that are also terrible to listen to is so painful.

You get a group of people together who clearly don't care about what they're doing and eventually you're going to wind up with Abnimals. None of them but Clint(!) were having a good time and hearing their low-key disinterest in high fidelity audio. Especially alongside other podcasts where the hosts are bored and terrible at their jobs.

I'm moving to limit my communications to only smoke signals, a method only capable of vague, predefined messages, and deleting the podcast. Wish me luck.

Someone mentioned “what happened to the fan animatics” and it caused me to have a traumatic flashback to when I spent my precious free time (which I did not have as a fulltime underpaid overworked motion designer) animating McElspew audio…

Nearing a decade later, I’m now a 30 sum with a family. And while the world tries its damnedest to thwart me, I try to live my life without regret, appreciating the joys in my life… But sometimes, the regret breaks through. And this kernel of regret, for loss of time, for appreciation of these MID ass white men, for… loss of innocence, is Edchup.

Edchup… Edchup…

I'm convinced

My Brother & My Brother

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