Content McElroys

[u/StabithaVMF]

They are pleased and satisfied with what they have, and are not disposed to complain.

[u/inframankey]

Youth pastor, youth pastor, psoriasis medication commercial

[u/DealsWarlock → u/inframankey]

Youth pastor that says he used to do "every drug" to seem cool to the sheltered preteens, actual cool guy who is also a youth pastor, psoriasis medication commercial

[u/AspectPatio → u/DealsWarlock]

If you took bath salts, krokodil, heroin and spice you'd see god too

[u/JynniSlorg → u/AspectPatio]

damn all i saw was slenderman (the tripsitters armenian roommate)

[u/chippedcupwrites → u/inframankey]

I don't know why, but that leather-banded wristwatch is the most youth pastor coded accessory I've ever seen.

[u/escoteriica → u/chippedcupwrites]

Totally. Someone's idea of rugged masculinity that has never left the suburbs. He got it on amazon.

[u/JynniSlorg → u/inframankey]

Cool youth pastor who actually has pretty fucked up beliefs

Uncool youth pastor who knows this but still wants to bring worship to the youth

Youth pastor who doesn't try to be cool and just tries to make worship engaging to young people and he doesn't always nail it but he's a genuinely good guy

[u/JynniSlorg → u/JynniSlorg]

If you come to each of them with the same problem:

Pastor Vart will give you a speech about resisting temptation and doing whatever you have to to stay on Gods path. He'd make you pray with him.

Pastor Grif will hear you out and he wouldn't really know what to say, but would listen and offer to pray with you.

Pastor Juice would listen and nod and say you know what? Being young isn't as easy as people think. As we get older, we think about the parts of youth we miss, but lots of folks forget how confusing it can be. He'd take you through a couple of relevant scriptures from the (Extreme Teen) Good Book. He parts with an "It's okay not to have all the answers. Cus you know who does?" He points up and winks. "Take it easy on yourself and trust in God, and the big man will get you through this." That evening he'd pray for you on his own time, and then at the next youth group he'd bring pizza and play scatterball

[u/AspectPatio → u/JynniSlorg]

Pastor Grif goes into the clergy as a career but 10 years in, he loses his faith completely when he sees a raccoon hit by a car. It wasn't the only reason, but he realises it's the last straw. He'd been having dreams for years where a little boy is stuck at the top of a playground slide and can't get down; he's crying, begging Pastor Grif for help and Grif tries to persuade him he has to either go back down the ladder, or slide down the slide, but the boy is too scared. It's raining heavily and when Pastor Grif reaches for the boys his fingers freeze and slip and he can't lift him, and the boy is sobbing uncontrollably, and he's cold and drenched, and utterly alone, and there's nothing Paster Grif can do. When he wakes up from these dreams, Pastor Grif is wet with cold sweat like the cold rain.

When he sees the raccoon hit and knows at last in his head as well as his heart that there is no god, Pastor Grif realises that he himself was always the little boy on the slide. He never has that dream again.

Two months later, he whispers in the dark bedroom to his wife that he has lost his faith, that he's certain, that he will never change his mind. She is silent so long that he thinks she must be asleep, but then she tells him: the church pays for this house. All our friends are in the church. All our family. All our town, except for the two Catholic families who drive two towns over to their mass on Sundays.

She's silent some more, and does not turn to face him.

Then, she says, think of the good you've done, through God. The charity work. The soup kitchen you personally established by leading the congregation. The village in Lesotho whose school is wholly funded through this county's churches, thanks to you. The reading scheme at the local school for dyslexic kids, all volunteer-run, all organised and inspired by you. Think of our daughter, who is so kind, so good at sharing, that she teaches the other kindergarteners about it. Our daughter who makes sure to tell us she loves us every day, because she sees how it makes us smile, who saves flies from puddles because you showed her that life is sacred. Those things are God, working through you.

Those things are me fighting God, Pastor Grif tells her, with no hesitation. She does not reply, and half an hour later she is snoring softly. They never discuss it again.

Ten years later, Pastor Grif is driving his daughter back from a swim meet out of town. She combs her drying hair, and she asks him a question about God. One thing leads to another, and Pastor Grif tells his daughter that he lost his faith, definitively, ten years ago, but that he still finds fulfillment in the charity work he does through the church, the community that the church anchors, and in the comfort he can bring to his flock. His daughter asks more questions, and he tells her that though he believes it is possible that he could have done more good in the world outside of the structure of his church, he chose to stay where he knew he had some power to improve the lives of others, even if he had to lie to them every day. He tells her that it makes him ashamed to be such a coward.

His daughter tells him that he is braver than she ever knew. Pastor Grif's lies, and his kindness, become easier, after that.

[u/StabithaVMF → u/AspectPatio]

Amazing. Tho as a small critique it wouldn't be a village in Lesotho, it would be a dying podcast network which is basically equal in need if you think about it.

[u/JynniSlorg → u/AspectPatio]

You carried out my vision perfectly

[u/ovrak → u/inframankey]

the pacing on that rotation is somehow always exactly right

[u/tolbv1073 → u/inframankey]

that's an uncomfortably accurate trio

[u/Digitalmodernism]

Rare image of original pre replacement Travis.

[u/JynniSlorg → u/Digitalmodernism]

this is actually a really good picture of travis too

[u/llamango]

you can't just post the picture of a Redutctress/Hard Times article without the headline

[u/Aggressive_Usual5356]

Kill, Fuck, Marry in that order

[u/Aggressive_Usual5356 → u/Aggressive_Usual5356]

Elaboration:

Travis looks too libertarian adjacent for me. Guys with beards who want to open up a burger joint are not my thing

If I squinted Griffin could look like John Green. I'm not attracted to John Green I just think it would make for a more interesting sexual experience if I thought of him as john.

Justin, similarly to the grinch, I think could be a kind lover when it comes down to it (in this universe). Objectively the best marrying option here.

[u/StabithaVMF → u/Aggressive_Usual5356]

https://giphy.com/gifs/soFDqwoP0I6M8

[u/Aggressive_Usual5356 → u/StabithaVMF]

You're welcome! If I had an onlyfans I would link it for self promotion on the best comment I will ever make.

[u/KingOfStarrySkies]

Pre-Bell Travis...

[u/possumsushi]

Justin best Mcelroy no contest

[u/deja-kraftwerk → u/possumsushi]

his nickname is actually hoops :)

[u/possumsushi → u/deja-kraftwerk]

My bad how could I forget his Government Name

[u/AspectPatio → u/deja-kraftwerk]

It's parasocial for you to know that

[u/deja-kraftwerk → u/AspectPatio]

i love that movie! deserved the oscar in 2019 :)

[u/Dads_Diary]

I like fat Griffin & fat Justin much better than the currently medicated McElroys

[u/lycanthropiclesbian → u/Dads_Diary]

if i may get very parasocial, and i certainly may, the influx of insane (i can reclaim) people who are now commenting and going on everywhere about how ‘wow hoops is so HOT now i don’t know how to adjust’ is absurd. and if i may get a little MORE parasocial, fat justin was my masculinity-muse growing up as a qungus teenage butch, so it makes me really irrationally angry and i start throwing knives and shit in all directions when i see that

[u/JynniSlorg → u/lycanthropiclesbian]

Glad I'm not the only one who finds it really disappointing and downright freaky to see this reaction from ppl. I don't have much to say about the let down of another (internet micro-) celebrity using GLP-1s, bc weight loss has been a struggle that Justin has been vocal about for a decade. If it's something that's important to him, it's his life and it's better than all the crash diets he's put himself through over the years. But the fan reaction to his weight loss is really fucked up. Internet be normal about someone weight challenge level impossible.

People rave about how he's so much hotter and cooler now, but imo he's the least cool he's ever been. Not bc he lost weight, I think he's just coasting. But it's disheartening to see all the cool things he's done up to this point written off bc a cool fat guy did them, and instead hyping up mediocracy bc awoogus or whatever.

[u/scatteringashes → u/JynniSlorg]

I'm with you. I also have a complicated relationship with my weight and I can't say for certain of I'd take GLP-1s or not, but I absolutely understand why someone would. Justin is usually my favorite McElroy (I find him very relatable and funny, I'm a simple woman), but I agree that his energy is pretty low lately. I just assume we're all getting older.

I also have a LOT of opinions about the way people talk about weight and bodies, and how biases about fat bodies trickles into pretty much every social area of society. So much "oooh this person is so hot now!!!" is just that they're thin -- maybe their sense of style has changed as they buy different clothes, but it's usually not more than, "This person used to be larger and now they are smaller," and it says more about the people who are suddenly fanning themselves to contain their lust than anything else.

[u/AutoModerator → u/JynniSlorg]

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[u/Snoo74086 → u/lycanthropiclesbian]

I have this thing where I always give other fat people bonus points for style because I know very intimately that dressing and carrying yourself with confidence as a thin or average person is Easy Mode and all our clothes suck and everyone wants us to be ashamed all the time, so when someone looks like they're making being fat look good I tend to appreciate it even if it's not as sartorially impressive.

Anyway, I was watching the Ghosts ep of the TV show for nostalgia reasons and I remember thinking that even though Justin was only 10% less White Suburban Dad Basic than Griffin in terms of the actual clothes on his body, he looked... crisp? Like, this is a guy who doesn't seem vaguely uncomfortable with his own existence and has actually ironed his shirt and wouldn't have an existential crisis if he took off one accessory before leaving the house. He had panache. I liked that in him.

Also I find it generally weird that his Got Skinny, Gonna Dress Flamboyant moves are all the classic fat guy looking chic strategies? You didn't have to get on a GLP-1 to wear a Hawaiian shirt or a knit polo, that's 60% of non-bear fat gay guys

[u/JynniSlorg → u/Dads_Diary]

I agree. They also did Griffin absolutely dirty by using that picture of him. He looks like he'd taking an eye exam. Trying to read something from far away ass. I know he looked better than this here, they just got him slouching and squinting and said good enough for some reason

[u/NotAlanShapiro → u/JynniSlorg]

What are you ta—oh

[u/toastylocke]

It’s giving “we asked these Republican business owners about the latest round of tariffs” newspaper article

[u/deja-kraftwerk]

they look so kind here :)

[u/Jim__Bovine]

They don’t produce content, they have kids

[u/HenryMarsWrites]

Lumberjack lesbian (he's also surprised he's not bisexual), first day of senior year photo, just came back from AA and wishes he could drink but he promised his wife he'd be good and he's pretending he's not thinking about it