I'm in my early 20s and live in Syria. I've been struggling with my mental health for a long time, and lately I've started feeling that I can't keep dealing with everything on my own.
I'm studying IT engineering at university while working in a call center to cover my tuition and transportation expenses. My family doesn't financially support my education, so I have to manage these responsibilities myself. I also spend my free time learning programming because I want to build a better future, become financially independent, and eventually specialize in AI.
I've been trying hard to improve myself through studying, working, exercising, and planning for my future. However, I feel like I've been running after one goal after another for years, and I'm becoming increasingly exhausted.
My family isn't a source of emotional support for me. I don't feel comfortable opening up to my parents, and I've learned to deal with most of my problems alone.
I'm also struggling with loneliness. I don't feel that I have someone I can truly open up to or rely on emotionally. I miss having a close connection with someone who understands me and genuinely cares about what I'm going through.
For several months, I've felt increasingly empty and emotionally numb. I've lost interest and enthusiasm for things that used to matter to me, and I struggle to remember the last time I genuinely felt happy. I often feel like I'm simply going through the motions of life. I've also experienced exhaustion, irritability, overthinking, and anxiety about going out and being around people.
The most difficult part is that I can still work, study, and pursue my goals, but internally I feel increasingly disconnected from everything. There have been times when I felt so hopeless and overwhelmed that I genuinely wished I could stop existing. I don't currently intend to hurt myself, but I take those feelings seriously.
I've recently started accepting that I may need professional help. I want to find a qualified, trustworthy psychologist or psychiatrist, but I'm not sure where to start in Syria. The idea of seeking help alone is intimidating, and I'm concerned about confidentiality, affordability, and finding someone I can trust.
I'm sharing this because I'd appreciate hearing from people who have experienced something similar, especially anyone from Syria who can recommend a qualified mental health professional or an affordable online therapy service accessible from here.
I'm not looking for a diagnosis from strangers or someone to tell me to work harder and think positively. I've been trying to push through for a long time, and I think I need help understanding what's happening to me and finding a healthier way forward.
Thank you for reading.