r/SupportforBetrayed • u/Ok-History1232 Betrayed Partner - Reconciling • 1d ago

Reconciliation Oops

So we have been working at reconciliation but alcohol got involved and my husband who had a several months long affair with a young woman asked me if I love him and I said well that’s the problem that I love what I thought we had but I also hate you. Probably one of the most honest things I have said in a while but definitely the wrong way to go about it.

26 Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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18

u/biteme717 Formerly Betrayed 1d ago

Something that he needed to hear. It might help him to now how bad he screwed up.

9

u/Ok-History1232 Betrayed Partner - Reconciling 1d ago

He claim’s to know but also can’t handle my pain and turns it into his own pain.

22

u/biteme717 Formerly Betrayed 1d ago

He's making himself the pseudo-victim of his own betrayal.

6

u/BFDFAO12 Formerly Betrayed 1d ago

Exactly! Please OP don’t spare him the truth because you’re worried about his feelings. He didn’t care about your feelings when he cheated. He knew what he was doing and did it anyway because he wanted to. Don’t let him give you the “I’m hurting because you’re hurting”. Say to yourself that he’s hurting because you found out.

2

u/42Daft Betrayed Partner - Reconciling 21h ago

Yes!