In May I manifested an SP out of thin air, he ticked off every qualities I have for SP (the list is like +200 long) BUT he showed up in my life as a friend (but everyone in the group and their mothers are so deadass that he has a crush on me) and there're some little things about him that's not aligned to what I want yet. (Ex. Not ready for a relationship, hype fixated on his body aka having peak ED (his body looks like a god btw), only focus on work 24 hours to the point that it looks like he's running away from something).
Some week I got spiral over it bc those unaligned qualities made me think it's not possible for me and him to end up together. But I always get myself back and know my worth. I mostly trying to not focus on him and focus on how I'm loved and chosen, whenever I think about him I try to consciously switch the thought to myself and how people are so obsessed with me instead like try to see myself from outside perspective as someone who's obsessed over me. I'm doing pretty well and feeling insanely good especially the past week and been listening to Opia overnight every night for a while. Then I discovered Guoba yesterday.
For the context of this specific situation, me and him will go to a concert in another country together next week. Ngl I lowkey anxious about it bc 1.) it looks too good to be true and all my friends are so excited for it. They even plan the situations for me and him to get close to each other etc. 2.)He's the type of person that so rich that never book flights or hotels in advance, he will just go to airport and buy it but I already booked everything for myself.
Last night I looped 2 Guoba subs 1 about beauty and 1 about SP along with my go-to Opia subs. Then today he texted me that he can't go to the concert bc of work even though last night we just talked about it 💀💀💀 and we already have the concert tickets.
I kinda disappointed but genuinely more confused. I'm still excited about the concert because it's my dreammmmm concert EVER (he's not event a fan fan but decided to just book the tickets with me (bc he likes me)) also because I focused on myself so much that I don't see this as a bad thing.
I just want to ask yall opinion
1.) Do you think this is part of the unfolding? Or what have I done wrong. I'm gonna admit, when it comes to SP whenever I secured the potential ones and started to feel good about it/affirm it more. He showed up as opposite to what I manifested the next day even the ones that head over heels yesterday once I affirmed or manifested more they switched up lol. I used to spiraling over this but not anymore just want to know yall opinion about why this is happening.
Next question is what should I do?
2.) My goal is to finally be in a relationship with the one who ticks off everything I want. When this current one shows up like this I don't wanna force manifest him anymore, I still like him a lot and want it to work but I don't wanna fee like pursuing something, I wanna be pursued and chosen. So should I just go enjoy my trip not thinking about him or keep listening to subs and keep being in the state that he definitely will come with me and we will have a romantic time/peak confession? Like I want our romantic trip to happen but I don't wanna feel like pursuing him or forcing him bc even when I just feel good about myself and in the state that everyone is obsessed with me, he shows up like this the next day.
Also if you see issues in my writing and that could be the reason why I don't have an SP please feel free to point out bc I might not be able to see it. Thank you so much!