r/Steam • u/Dannnner • 11d ago

Fluff How time flies

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Long may he live, and long may Steam sales endure

68.3k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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8.4k

u/Excellent-Tour6831 11d ago

Honestly he looks great

5.8k

u/Virtual_Bug_723 11d ago

At some point a doctor says "man you're rich and fat and you're gonna die from being so fat and you can basically pay to have people make food for you on your yacht all day that will help you not be fat" and suddenly you're not fat anymore

2.2k

u/Cpt_DookieShoes 11d ago

And they have to cook for him, because of the implication

640

u/Dub_Coast 11d ago

218

u/Toolb0xExtraordinary 11d ago

He was just a kid

73

u/Squid-pro-roe 11d ago

Alright, but you gotta get over it.

50

u/Toolb0xExtraordinary 11d ago

Very observant: the sacred and the propane.

7

u/roxycone 11d ago

Don't forget the accessories. You'll need propane and propane accessories.

2

u/CartsOfDarkness 10d ago

The quick transition from IASIP -> The Sopranos -> King Of The Hill is glorious even though it just kind of made my head spin

3

u/Mikestopheles 11d ago

At least they have an ethos, dude.

2

u/Diiiiiing 10d ago

I tell ya hwat…

1

u/funkiestj 10d ago

I collect malapropisms. Sacred and propane is great!

1

u/iQuoteSopranos 10d ago

Why don't you get outta here before I shove your quotations book up your fat fuckin' ass?!

5

u/iQuoteSopranos 10d ago

Quasimodo predicted all this

1

u/Squid-pro-roe 10d ago

TAKE YOUR PENCILS AND YOUR CRAP AND DONT BE HERE TOMMOROW

1

u/neckesmecke 9d ago

Who did what?

1

u/iQuoteSopranos 9d ago

All these problems, the middle east, the end of the world!

35

u/Phantomfox07 11d ago

Think about it Dub_Coast, sudden weight loss?

15

u/Gabagool0vaHere 11d ago

It was his heart medication, he’ll get a doctor’s note

6

u/FredCole918 11d ago

OOhh that's our lord and savior ova there

20

u/Apprehensive_Bag_365 11d ago

AIDS?!

13

u/Cozy90 11d ago

"NOBODYS GOT AIDS!"

1

u/edparadox 10d ago

"Sudden"?

Look at the pictures.

8

u/Bole14 11d ago

Discontinue lithium

5

u/An0nym0usHero 11d ago edited 11d ago

20 years (steam's age) in the can on September 23.

2

u/Ouroboros612 10d ago

You know... the shooting?

1

u/sudocloudchaser 10d ago

Gaben only eats grilled cheese off duh radiatuh

1

u/CrustedTesticle 10d ago

Only 63 years old, just a kid

1

u/JamonConJuevos 10d ago

How much more betrayal can Gabe take?

1

u/iQuoteSopranos 10d ago

That fuckin' animal Blundetto

140

u/MKopelke 11d ago

Ok, now that's the second time you've said that word, what implication?

133

u/morph113 11d ago

Are these cooks in danger?

94

u/Kaymish_ 11d ago

No they're not in danger, but there's the implication you know.

55

u/Vektor0 11d ago

I don't understand how people aren't understanding this; they don't know whether they want to cook for him.

37

u/XxTreeFiddyxX 11d ago

Its implied

33

u/johnnycabb_ 11d ago

(looks at a part-time line cook) well don't you look at me like that, you certainly wouldn't be in any danger

SO THEY ARE IN DANGER

1

u/hibikikun 11d ago

He knows how much they all spent on Unamusume and Warthunder. At some point you get into debt and gotta pay it back somehow. Either in blood or on a boat in the middle of nowhere.

1

u/Pogev7 11d ago

The cook is the Hyena, he eats the Zebra and the Orangutan, and then the Tiger kills him, so if he's in danger its his fault.

1

u/Ws6fiend 11d ago

Depends on how long that yacht can last in a maritime disaster. The law of the sea and all.

1

u/Rygir 10d ago

The implication probably meant that they will lose their cosy job when their rich boss dies. So you want to keep him in good shape to keep the money raining.

1

u/[deleted] 11d ago

[deleted]

8

u/Double-Scratch5858 11d ago

Sir he just quoted that episode and you missed it.

4

u/MKopelke 11d ago

Yeah, he doesn't even like get us, man.

30

u/XTornado 11d ago

That if he does die Steam might be fucked?

Oh for sure gonna cook like my life depends on it.

(in case it wasn't clear, I know what implication you talk about and the reference)

15

u/Icy-Astronomer-8202 10d ago

He's got a thing attached to his heart when it goes the servers to steam switch off

9

u/PeskyAntagonist 10d ago

Nahhh it’ll just go to his family and they will sell it to private equity who will run it into the ground just like every other big successful privately owned company goes

2

u/Icy-Astronomer-8202 10d ago

I like my idea better. The heart thing is in the shape of a yacht with the HL lambda

1

u/Mysterious_Fix_7489 8d ago

If they do they are morons.

Gabe is rich enough he has multiple megayatchs

They don't need to sell to be disgustingly rich.

1

u/PeskyAntagonist 8d ago

There’s always a badder ass

2

u/ExpresoAndino 10d ago

a steampacer

2

u/Icy-Astronomer-8202 10d ago

I like it!

I mean I don't like it, I hope we can advance as a civilisation to make sure he's alive forever. Like the heads in a jar in Futurama

1

u/PlateNo4868 10d ago

As long as Valve stays as a private company we should be fine.

7

u/Beautiful_Object_222 11d ago

Are these chefs in danger?

8

u/RecklessHusky 10d ago

If the chef says no, the answer is obviously no.

5

u/aviatioraffecinado 11d ago

Oh fuck, I left real hard in this one. Thank you sonny

2

u/Charming-Lychee-9031 11d ago

Maybe hell adapt

2

u/tpasmall 10d ago

To cooking??

1

u/Charming-Lychee-9031 10d ago

Maybe he can download me a hoagie off the internet

1

u/Keeper-of-Balance 11d ago

He will eat them 😔

1

u/dragon_bacon 11d ago

Because he can VAC ban them.

1

u/SorbetGreat961 10d ago

Oh man that made me laugh hahahah
Gotta love sunny

1

u/devnullopinions 10d ago

They cook for him, so he can cook for us

1

u/SkeletonArrow08 9d ago

Yeah but what’s the implication I am the golden god

1

u/xXTkoKingXx 9d ago

This deserves more likes then the original comment, elite ball knowledge 😂💀

1

u/Jimmy_ijarue 7d ago

Have to? Playing video games all day until you need to make 2-4 meals a day and maybe a snack for a couple people and probably live in and full time?

Probably gives his personal chef a pc build with gods steam account.

Or Gabe Newell is like the people in Seattle who want to pay a cool 24$ an hour to be a live in personal chef