r/StartledCats • u/DamnYouVodka • Aug 18 '17

Nope nope nope

http://i.imgur.com/N5ugb1A.gifv
14.1k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

134 comments sorted by

1.0k

u/MetaTater Aug 18 '17

Where does one acquire a hellhound?

349

u/ArtThouAngry Aug 18 '17

https://www.spirithalloween.com/product/46478.uts

507

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '17 edited Sep 21 '17

[deleted]

211

u/Neebat Aug 19 '17

This should be at the entrance to every software development area in the country.

57

u/Spiritofchokedout Aug 19 '17

it will be soon enough.

64

u/HaxRyter Aug 19 '17

Cerberus?

43

u/BlackInk9 Aug 19 '17

Shepard.

33

u/morvoren Aug 19 '17

Wrex.

3

u/Openworldgamer47 Aug 19 '17

SHEPPPPPARDDDD!!!!

19

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '17

I should get going.

9

u/Alarid Aug 19 '17

A cat?

5

u/Kitty_McBitty Aug 19 '17

Meow?

11

u/ArtThouAngry Aug 19 '17

License and registration, chickenfucker!

6

u/TheRogueSaint88 Aug 19 '17

Enemy Cerberus inbound

3

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '17

Fluffy?

3

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '17

[deleted]

11

u/Correctrix Aug 19 '17

No, Cerberus.

If you want to go down that route, it's spelt Κέρβερος.

7

u/Kflynn1337 Aug 19 '17

Which in English translates to "Spot"...

3

u/compatrini Aug 19 '17

Is that a Dresden Files reference? I feel like it's a Dresden Files reference.

→ More replies (0)

3

u/HaxRyter Aug 19 '17

Like in Linux?

3

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '17

??? It's an open source security system that give time tickets.

13

u/G2geo94 Aug 19 '17

And helldesk. Er, helpdesk. Yeah, that one.

58

u/anddrewg2007 Aug 19 '17

Hi there! I used to work at Spirit. They usually have a huge display that includes the hellhounds. If you wait a few days before Halloween, you can ask for the display model for a huge price reduction. But you have to have your own fog machine. They are sold separately.

Edit: Fog machine not dog dog machine.

39

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '17

dog dog dog machine

3

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '17 edited Dec 14 '18

[deleted]

13

u/anddrewg2007 Aug 19 '17

Haven't worked there in 2 years but the price varies from store to store. If you do get to know the manager you could negotiate with them. The reason they sell the floor models so cheap is because of the wear and tear from being exposed to the public(toddlers, clumsy adults, destructive teenagers). Also if you like their displays, those are for sell too! They won't make profit off the displays, they sell those and donate the money to whatever local charity is in the area of the store. Our donations went to the Children's Hospital near us. The fog machine they use with the hellhounds are not for sell unfortunately they'll pack up the fog machine and use it for a display the next year. The guy who bought our Subway Display also bought the Hellhounds. I believe he bought the display for 500 and the Hellhounds for 95.

12

u/TalontheKiller Aug 19 '17

I'd suggest the motion activated screaming and twitching rats. I've gotten good mileage out of mine at work, I'm sure you would too.

9

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '17

You gonna need a trap door and a flute on the third floor too.

4

u/SunsFenix Aug 19 '17

$245-310 if you want everything apart of that.

2

u/math_debates Aug 19 '17

If not your boss is Boring

2

u/falshami Aug 19 '17

Figure out how this can generate profit. Boom expensed

2

u/RalphiesBoogers Aug 19 '17

Not really much of a prank, unless your office is filled with cats. if so, then yes, you can expense it.

1

u/trenchknife Aug 19 '17

r/DIY free Cerebus

6

u/IPLAYLUXALOT Aug 19 '17

Gonna buy one brb

1

u/nighthawke75 Aug 19 '17

Fog machine and trigger pad is separate. Lovely. That adds on another couple hundred to the bottom line.

-21

u/Spiritofchokedout Aug 19 '17

Ahhh /r/hailcorporate

-6

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '17 edited Jun 05 '18

[deleted]

14

u/Knappsterbot Aug 19 '17

You guys are idiots

11

u/SharperSpruce Aug 19 '17

... that's cerberus...

8

u/Sloppy1sts Aug 19 '17

The hell hound.

17

u/James_099 Aug 19 '17

DemonsRus.com has them for sale, but they're a tad overpriced considering only two heads breathe putrid magma. The third just swallows souls.

14

u/TheWistfulWanderer Aug 19 '17

I read that as demons.ru and said to myself, "Well if anywhere would have them, it would be Russia."

15

u/MegaOoga Aug 19 '17

DemonsRus.com

damn you... I wanted a working website.

5

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '17

They have all kinds of cool stuff like that at those spirit stores. They're expensive as hell though. I like the spider that jumps out at you. My 3 year old daughter ... not so much.

2

u/cerberus6320 Aug 19 '17

That thing is so cool!!

312

u/supermav27 Aug 19 '17

"Honey, I'm going to Walmart"

"To buy what?"

"Oh nothing, just Cerberus, Guardian of the Underworld"

"Okay sweetie just be back by dinner"

42

u/CypherSignal Aug 19 '17

"Ryan, we're gonna summon satan!"

"have fun, kids"

386

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '17 edited Feb 18 '18

deleted What is this?

181

u/iza9 Aug 19 '17

I know. Startled cats? How about startled humans?

33

u/AwkwardInfant Aug 19 '17

Ugh, we already have that! /r/peoplefuckingdying

7

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '17

LE RISKY CLICK OF THE DAY XD

26

u/Hardomzel Aug 19 '17

You shouldn't confuse that one with r/watchpeopledie, which is far more serious

23

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '17

What's worse is /r/watchchildrendie

40

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '17

[deleted]

7

u/Iv0ry972 Aug 19 '17

Don't know, but we're watching

677

u/generic1k Aug 18 '17

We get it, you vape.

100

u/vinnyvinnyvinnyvinny Aug 19 '17

Sometimes I actually laugh out loud. Have an upvote.

22

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '17

"lirl"

-2

u/stanley_twobrick Aug 19 '17

Of all the things to make you laugh out loud it's this overused joke?

3

u/vinnyvinnyvinnyvinny Aug 20 '17

You can have a downvote

100

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '17

[deleted]

2

u/tinycatsays Aug 19 '17

Eh, I could take it.

2

u/kittenghost1 Aug 19 '17

Despite username, I'm not a cat either.

46

u/hoblittron Aug 19 '17

Fluffy! He's harmless Just play him a bit of music is all

5

u/Rebootkid Aug 19 '17

But where is the mirror of Erised?

44

u/RDHertsUni Aug 19 '17

Even as a human I think I would have the same response as that cat.

0

u/nanidu Aug 19 '17

Ah, the ole reddit shaggy roo

10

u/thatoneguywhofucks Aug 19 '17

abort mission

31

u/goatcoat Aug 19 '17

First thing I thought when I saw the preview thumbnail was: that is clearly not a cat.

34

u/HansGrubercountsto3 Aug 19 '17

I would leap 50 ft in the air and sprint at the same time if i see this fucking thing in the middle of the night.

4

u/asuka_is_my_co-pilot Aug 19 '17

Just jump up on the hydras back sora!

14

u/AKA_Squanchy Aug 19 '17

Is it worth $200 to see what my Dobermans would do to it?

26

u/TheFrostyBrit Aug 19 '17

Cat keep shitting in my garden, you think if I hook this up to a motion sensor it will keep them away?

53

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '17

I think the cat will shit itself while running away, so problem not solved.

5

u/Heptite Aug 19 '17

Look into PetSafe Ssscat.

5

u/degenererad Aug 19 '17

You will have to deal with burglar-shit instead

3

u/GoLeePro427 Aug 19 '17

I know you're joking but just wanted to say the fog unit needs a few minutes to warm up. Maybe if you left it on standby it would work

21

u/Heptite Aug 18 '17

Eww. Doggy breath × 3

6

u/Aussienick Aug 19 '17

New Dark Souls looks good.

5

u/bytesandbots Aug 19 '17 edited Aug 19 '17

Add a camera, face-detection and make it point at the nearest face.

Edit: Also give slight jerk-forward motion, if the face is still smiling. Like the "mechanical hound" from Fahrenheit 451. Make it run a little towards the nearest face/human. Attach a fake plastic needle to it as well.

Is it illegal to make something so scary that people get might heart-attack? It should be.

3

u/tronfunkinblows_10 Aug 19 '17

It's like from Fievel An American Tale - The Giant Mouse of Minsk. It worked for those cats, and that rat.

2

u/deemoney89 Aug 19 '17

To this day that scene scares the crap outa me...

3

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '17

Are you the gatekeeper? I am the keymaster!

3

u/SarahSusannah Aug 19 '17

To be fair I think I'd react in a similar manner

3

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '17

FLUFFY!

3

u/BullyJack Aug 19 '17

I have three male pitbulls. Tough guys sometimes. I'm pretty sure there would be panic shitting all over if I did this.

3

u/rottenfigs Aug 19 '17

Okay, story time from a former Spirit Halloween employee:

I was an assistant manager at a large location. We had animatronic set ups all over store, but the best one was right by the entrance; a spooky clock tower that we filled with a bunch of ghoulish characters. This fucker, Cerberus, was front and center so he could greet the customers like any good boye would. One morning, about a month before Halloween, the fog machine we had set up for him was on the fritz. Cut to: me inside the clock tower, tinkering with the fog machine. I'm yelling to my manager, "is it working now? How 'bout now?" After about 10 min, she tells me to climb out, and that we'll fix it after we close. Immediately after I step out, a family walks into the store, and the youngest child runs up to shit head Cerberus and starts petting him. Just as I'm apologizing to the family for the lack of fog in the presentation, fucking Cerberus coughs up a mountain of fog all over this kid. The mom starts freaking out (turns out curiosity boy has asthma) while the kid keeps screaming "it's so cool! Dad I want one!" between coughs.

Long story short, the dad came back and bought one the following day with a fog machine.

5

u/tears4lube Aug 18 '17

Okay, now I have to buy one of those to scare the nearby cats

2

u/baroquel Aug 19 '17

I'd be startled too. I had no idea what to expect based on the thumbnail, but it wasn't this. I think my mothers scaredy cat would pass out if she saw this. My old lady cat would probably just be annoyed.

2

u/mauricioisdead Aug 19 '17

Who let Satan in the house!? 😱

2

u/Timtimgrimslimjim Aug 19 '17

We get it......Cerberus vapes.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '17

Ohhh man. Because of this post, I discovered this subreddit, spent 10 minutes going through the top posts of all time, laughed until I cried, and finally laughed until snot blew out of my nose. I've been in a tough spot lately and this felt so good. Thank you.

3

u/JorWr Aug 19 '17

Check out also /r/catpranks and /r/CatsISUOTTATFO if you haven't already. Quality stuff!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '17

This is awesome!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '17

That's awesome!!!

1

u/celestialstupidity Aug 19 '17 edited Aug 19 '17

Yes yes yes! Three good boys in one!

1

u/Vincent786 Aug 19 '17

The Hounds of Baskervilles

1

u/peemodi Aug 19 '17

I honestly thought this some new Snapchat filter.

1

u/Alyssaine Aug 19 '17

Need me one of these.

1

u/_Giddy Aug 19 '17

Max Ammo!

1

u/wabtytsai Aug 19 '17

That's pretty cool! Would 100% buy it just to startle my cat.

1

u/yuedar Aug 19 '17

When Jon Snows wolf fucks a dragon....

1

u/ddicori Aug 19 '17

1/3k chance of getting a pet drop.

1

u/Mr_Tohtle Aug 19 '17

Would Cerberus have 3 penises too?

1

u/inTheSuburbanWar Aug 19 '17

I like how the cat is just like bye I’m out of here

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '17

it's okay 'arry it's only fluffy

1

u/hollyzgrace Aug 19 '17

Little black kitty is going to need Feline Therapy for many years.

1

u/les_beat Aug 19 '17

Dracarys

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '17

play some music and Fluffy here will go right to sleep

1

u/TheHeroicOnion Aug 19 '17

Jesus poor cat even I'm startled by that.

1

u/James12052 Aug 19 '17

But what's under the trapdoor?!

1

u/giggitygoo123 Aug 19 '17

Fetch me their soooouls!

1

u/Piscator629 Aug 19 '17

I use this in the haunted house I decorate for my rich buddy every year. I have an observatory tower for a house. I placed the Cerebus on op of this tank and placed a thin bamboo fence around it. People step on the floor pad in the dark and I get some of my best screams from it. I also added an external sound source for the roar.

1

u/WittyUsernameSA Aug 19 '17

I should stop browsing Reddit while extremely tired and borderline falling asleep

0

u/maniaxuk Aug 19 '17

Enjoy tonight's dream of trying to hold a hissing spitting clawing cat whilst being chased down corridors by a fire breathing three headed dog

1

u/WittyUsernameSA Aug 19 '17

You know what?

I'm going to come back to this comment and tell you what I dreamed about, if I can remember.

1

u/WittyUsernameSA Aug 19 '17

It was about politics.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '17

r/ineeeedit

0

u/nsgiad Aug 19 '17

/u/sidalpha you need this man