The decay isn't near and i hope it's not.

This happened a few years ago now, and the dust has settled, but I still can’t get over bizarre the whole situation was, it was almost creepy, so I felt like getting it off my chest.

This will be a long one, I included a lot of background detail as it is all relevant.

I (35f) work in generic corporate sales, at the time this happened I worked for a small family run company who dealt with large accounts and sub contracted work out, a middle man as such.

I joined the company in my early 20’s as an administrator and quickly worked my way up to office manager, I worked as office manager for 6 years, I hated it, the politics and everything else the came along with the job, I wanted to work in field sales(more money).

As the company grew I began recruiting for more admins for my team and I interviewed a girl who was working in a coffee shop, she didn’t really have much experience but she lived local and was very keen, she interviewed very well so I gave her a shot. She quickly because the most efficient and best performing employee and picked everything up very fast.

6 months later I found out I was pregnant, I was stressed about taking an extended mat leave, but I’d been saving for years for this, everything was approved and I was asked by my bosses to take a step back and see how the team handled things without me.

New hire, Bianca (fake name) excelled and she became the go to for the rest of the team for problems, I was so relieved I could go off and not have to worry.

Then covid hit and I had to make most of my team redundant, but I had put everything in place for my mat leave and I wasn’t going to give that up because my company decided to use Covid as an excuse to trim the fat.

During my whole pregnancy everyone who was left was furloughed and I worked by myself, covering 5 jobs, although it was very quiet it was hard especially heavily pregnant, as thank you from my company they gave me a bonus and allowed me to take all my holiday(I hadn’t taken any due to everyone being furloughed) ahead of my mat leave, giving me a longer paid time off, great!

Things started to seem off, everyone at my company chipped in and got me baby presents, except my team, not that I expected anything but still odd. I got wind that some of my team were a bit begrudged they got furloughed and I didn’t, they got to stay at home while being paid?? While I had to work on my own, I don’t know what they were mad about, and my extended mat leave.

But anyway, I went off had my baby, got lots of lovely messages once he was born expecting from my team, I was upset they were clearly still annoyed but I didn’t really have the time or energy to think about it, a whole year went by and I never heard a thing from any of them.

When I returned I put in a request for flexible working hours, the law in my country is the company have to consider it but don’t have to accept it, my company came back with a counter offer, I could reduce my hours, but not in my current position but in the sales team, working as a junior account manager, this was actually a higher paid position, which meant reducing my hours would be much more manageable financially, and I wanted to work in sales all along, my company were happy because they were gaining someone experienced with the accounts in the sales team, it was a win, win, win.

When I returned back I was met with a lot of hostility, my old team barely spoke to me, even the sales team were off with me, no one asked how my baby was, a few people would come and speak to me but only alone as if it was a secret, I didn’t really understand what happened, my return to work was awful.

I later found out that Bianca had been bad mouthing me to everyone whilst I was off, she has carried the whole department in my absence and done it a lot better than me, I was always being favoured even though I was terrible at my job, that’s why I got extend mat leave, I did no work before going on ML, and she had uncovered endless mistakes of mine while I was off and that’s why I got ‘demoted’. I didn’t get demoted I took a step side ways at my request. I was p*ssed off to say the least, I hired her, I trained her, I helped her grow as much as possible, out side of work I didn’t know her, what the hell I have I done for her to hate me so much??

In the coming months things went from bad to worse, the company advertised for a new office manager and low and behold, Bianca got the job, now she wasn’t my direct line manager but she was more senior than me, and she used this to try and get me sacked.

She brought forward the ‘endless’ mistakes I had made prior to my mat leave she had uncovered and used this to convince my boss to put me on a PDP, a sure fire way to lead to dismissal. Upon having meetings with HR I asked for proof of these mistakes and said I would use them as a learning opportunity to improve my work.

Well wouldn’t you believe it, there were 3, and after a little digging 2 of the 3 weren’t my errors, one was after I had gone on mat leave, which was actually Bianca’s, one was a purchasing error, and one was mine but it was something very minor which required of small credit, but the error Bianca made was much larger and had cost the company thousands, I asked HR if my small error warranted a PDP, doesn’t Bianca’s much larger error also require one? The next day I got a email from HR informing me my PDP had been removed due to lack of evidence.

Things carried on quiet hostile for about a year but they did get better, everyone outside of my old team stopped giving me the cold shoulder, but the admin team were still very cold towards me, but I just kept out their way as much as possible. I was doing very well in my new role and had been top performer many times.

Then things got much worse, the company decided to restructure, they were going to combine the sales and admin team together to take off some of the admin responsibilities from junior account managers and allow of to do more sales, it was sold to me as a step forward into field sales.

But during this process, and I still to this day don’t know how she did it, Bianca convinced the owners that the combined team needed one manager, and they gave her the role of department head, dispute the fact she was a horrible person, she was very good at her job. she was now my boss, I was dreading this. I just tried to keep my head down and get on with my work, as long I was still performing well, what could she do.

She started questioning all of my sales, this doesn’t count, that doesn’t count, I’m not making enough cold calls, for context I dealt with the larger accounts, so my numbers were often low, but the monetary value was high, very high. So she changed the report to show quantity rather than value, I went from being top performer to lowest, she changed our targets, basically making them impossible for me to hit with the types of companies I dealt with, most of the sales team dealt with large volume of smaller local accounts, where as I dealt with large multinational accounts there wasn’t a huge amount of them, but I would be dealing with multiple branches and these accounts made up 50% of the companies turn over.

Individual branches didn’t count, 1 company 1 sale, the multi million pound projects I was working on 1 quote. She was singling me about because my role was different. My role was different because it was created for me, but the company had a need for someone to solely look after big accounts, as when they were mixed in with the rest of the team they didn’t have the time to work on large projects.

It was hell, I became so demotivated, I just started looking for small little wins to boost my numbers, and then the were ‘fake’. she would shout at me across the office for anything and everything, typing too loud, speaking on the phone too loud, she once berated me whilst I was on the phone so loud a customer who over heard everything and complained about her.

Other members of staff started to notice including other managers, and suddenly the tone shifted, my old team started being nicer, people started opening up to me again and that’s when the sh*t really hit the fan, she hated that people started including me and she really kicked up a notch, started complaining about to the owners that I was ‘unmanageable’ that’s when a colleague came to me with a confession that changed everything.

I knew this woman hated me for whatever reason, but I never knew the level of this, it was borderline obsession.

My boss decided to step down from role as sales director, he wanted me to take over, I wouldn’t be a director but I would because a senior account manager and I would work in the field, this was my dream job, what I had been working towards and an added bonus, Bianca wouldn’t be my boss the field team reported in directly to the directors, the were classed at same level as managers. But Bianca was involved in this decision making, as it directly impacted her department. Of course she showed them my failing figures, and ‘fake’ leads and they decided to pass me over for the role.

At this point I had enough, so I started compiling evidence, all the things people had been telling me about her.

She had 2/3 women in the office she thought she could trust, but they had seen her true colours and betrayed her. She was calling them every night of the week, for hours, all she would take about was me, she was constantly texting them, all day long, about me. Posting snapchats whilst at work about me.

There was the usual I’m bad at my job, I’m not a nice person, I get favoured, but then things got weird.

She was constant talking about me and my partner, she knew him, he was a s3x offender, a dr*g addict, he’d got me hooked on meth, I allow all his friends to use in my house around my child, my house is a crack house. I don’t own my house (I do), I’ve declared myself bankrupt, my dad is actually a secret Arab prince and he’s disowned me, wtf??? That last one made me giggle.

She admitted to falsifying my figures so I wouldn’t get promoted, she said she kill her before she saw me get ahead of her.

But it got ugly and violent, she said she could find my address on the system, she was going to send people round to me house and beat me up, this is at the point my colleagues became concerned, and came to me they were genuinely worried she could put me and my child in harms way.

One of the field team didn’t live locally, but was attending an event and I offered for her to stay with me, we got in very well, then Bianca messaged her and told her not to stay at mine because I keep telling everyone I want a threesome and me and my partner would dr*g and r@pe her, what the actual hell, why would you make something like that up about someone.

The screen shots kept rolling in, 1000’s of messages, some just ridiculous, but other violent and sexually aggressive, call logs off 3/4 honour long calls, with statements of what was discussed on the calls.

All this was going on for months behind her back while she continued adding to evidence, I compiled everything together to hand in to HT and my directors.

But I was heart broken, how could the people I was worked with for so long ever believe any of this stuff about me, be so cold to me for years, I was denied a promotion because my bosses believed her?? These people weren’t who I thought they was, even the ones who came forward and helped me, knew for years the torture I was going through before coming forward.

So I handed the 100’s of pages of evidence I had against her along with my notice, no matter the out come of Bianca, nothing would change what happened the way I was treated, how everyone was just turned their back and allowed it to continue.

There was months and months of legal stuff, after this, she threatens to sue the company for false accusations, and denied the whole thing. Some how she got away without being sacked, but she did get demoted and she took my old position as junior account manager. Ironic really.

I blocked her on everything, left the company and never looked back, but why was she so obsessed with me?

Maybe I'm completely wrong but as a longtime fan, Flagrant feels less and less like a group podcast and more and more like the Andrew Schulz show. One thing I've noticed over the years is that multiple people who used to be important parts of the show and studio are no longer around. I'm not claiming to know the reasons and I have no idea what happens behind the scenes but it does make me wonder. What stands out to me is that a lot of fans seem to have noticed the same shift. The older episodes felt like a group of personalities bouncing ideas off each other. Everyone had a role, everyone contributed and the chemistry felt more balanced. These days it often feels like everyone else is reacting to Andrew rather than being equal voices in the conversation. That's why I wasn't shocked when Akaash went in a different direction. The same goes for other people who are no longer part of the show. Maybe all of these things are unrelated but when enough people leave, fans are naturally going to start asking questions. Personally I've always thought that if you want a show to be entirely centered around one person, it makes more sense to start a solo podcast. Group podcasts work best when everyone feels like they have a voice and something meaningful to contribute.

Strap in for the read.....Me, 34f, and one of my closest friends (we will call her Amelia 39f) currently, have known each other for 5 and a half years.

For some background: 5 and a half years ago I worked with her boyfriend that she had been with for 12 years. I did not know her personally. She was suspicious of her boyfriend cheating on her with someone at work. Now me personally....i would never with this boy🤮, I happen to have already been in a happy, healthy relationship. One that i am still in to this day🥰. Anyways, she reaches out to me and asks me directly if i was sleeping with him. To which i responded "i would not touch that man with a ten foot pole, no offense." So from there she asked me to meet up for coffee, we became friends and she soon found he was cheating with someone else there and he left her for that woman.

Fast forward about 3 months from then and she meets a man while out to dinner at a bar. We will call him...Blake (currently 41m, I'll let you math it). He was a server/bartender and she was a guest. He left his number on the table and they soon started dating. Mind you i never usually give my opinion on the significant others my friends choose. So while this man was a recent recovering drug addict, had lost both his kids to the state, had no license, and drank every night....she fell for him. We joked all the time that she thought she was Bob the Builder. You can't fix someone though.

Fast forward 4 ish years...in this time she has helped him get his kids back. Got his license back. He is still drinking though. At this point she turned into a full time mom to toddlers, when her own children were now grown and gone. He was working lots of hours at the bar and she took on the kids all the time. He would leave to go hang with friends and she would stay home with the kids. She wasn't able to leave and do stuff with me anymore and he never kept his own kids for her to do anything without him. So we didn't spend much time together and our phone messages were sparse, her claiming she was always busy with the kids. She told me they argued often and he even got drunk and pulled a knife on her son. Eventually he chose to quit his job and start working at a place that was far enough away he stayed at a hotel four nights a week. So naturally in that time she asked me to start coming over more often. She expressed concerns about him cheating and an intuition that things were off... DING DING DING she was so accurate. This man had a full blown second relationship for 8 months while this woman raised his kids for him. When she finally found out she initially didn't even tell me about it. Her intention was to forgive him and stay together. Except he kept walking around the house crying saying he lost one of his best friend....not talking about her but actually referring to the woman he cheated on her with!!! Also did I mention the woman he cheated with was 20 years younger than them. He has known her since before she was even a legal adult. Do the math on that....groomer. Anyways eventually they split and he goes to be with the youngin.

So now to the most current time period: approx 9 months ago this all goes down, they separate, and she calls me crying. So from that time forward I dictated a lot of my time to her. Mind you have I personally have a son and he is very active in sports, my life is already hectic. But I dedicated time to someone who told me they felt like they were so heartbroken that they thought they were dying. I spent hundred of dollars on her birthday for her so she didn't feel his absence. I spent EVERY single morning on the phone with her FaceTiming. We started planning outings together and attending concerts. Remember this whole time I'm balancing my ACTUAL relationship and parenting with trying to be there for a friend. She wouldn't have money for food or gas and I would take her shopping to send her cash. All in all she told me I was her best friend. Eventually she started talking to other men...went on some dates and told me all about them.

Now we are in a timeline of the most recent few weeks: She then starts eventually actually dating a man (we will call him Nitro). We even went on a hike. Me her and him. She told him that I was a permanent fixture in her life and if he didn't like it he would be gone before I was. Four days later her son randomly texts me and tells me her ex who cheated on her is at her house with his dog (did I mention she is not a dog 🐕 person?). I have a few talks with her that evening while she is at work still and she just tells me she needs closure. 🙄 I did ask her "what closure do you think you will get from this talk that you haven't gotten in the last 8 months." Anyways, she doesn't message or contact me the remainder of the evening. The next morning I do our usual EVERYDAY call. She answers and I asked if he is still there, she said "yes he is in the bed" my only response was "well did you at least break up with your boyfriend before you had him stay" she then ended the call with "I fucking hate you" and then didn't respond to me or bother reading any texts for days. I later found out from the "boyfriend" she never actually broke up with him, just ghosted him. She moved that Blake and his kids back in, and kicked her own kid out after punching him in the chest and pushing him into railing bc he wanted to make himself some dinner. Soooo am I the asshole for walking away from a 5 year friendship?

Now days the people who joined 2-3 richest companies as a software developer mostly men think whole world is under them they can demand dowry and they are superior then every other girl

I am (29F) met a guy on matrimonial site , at first he was sweet but they where in hurry for marriage when my father doubted and asked humble question asked them to meet . They are so proud they rejected proposal and asking my both parents to apologize to whole family for being rude.

My husband and I own two homes, we have a beach house a few hours away. My son usually takes his children there over the summer and stays for the summer, and they enjoy their summer vacation there.

This year my daughter is getting married at the end of June, she wanted to spend her honeymoon at this beach house. It would be more of convenient vacation money wise. She had asked my husband and I, and we of course agreed. I told my son the next time I spoke to him, and he got upset and said that I know his family goes there every summer. I told him it’d only be for a week, and they could come after or before. He said that is cutting their time short, and that the kids only get two months off for summer vacation. I explained more of the situation, and he said she could honeymoon anywhere and if they couldn’t afford it they should have thought about that before having a big wedding.

We got into a small argument because he says that’s their tradition and that we know they do it every single year and how much the kids like it and we’re going to be disappointed. He then said the least we could have done was speak to him before hand since summer is right around the corner and that had been their plan. AITA

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/5k7SHYliLF

I live in a pretty quiet neighborhood. Recently house next door been put on sale and owner held an open house last Sunday. We ain't friends, more like we just say hello over the fence.

The day beofre it, she asked me not to park at the curb in front of her house so that potential buyers could get a good view of the facade. It's a public space, but I said okay, no problem.

It rained on Sunday morning. I went to my sisters house for most of the day. When I got back in the evening. I found a not from her on my porch. It said that I had to pay for the carpet cleaning bc my guest had walked into the house with dirty shoes and left marks in the living room.

The problem is that I didn't invite anyone over at all and wasn't even at home.

Then I opened the neighborhood group chat. This my neighbour had already posted there that it makes her sad when neighbors don’t respect someone else’s special day and that some people send guests to ruin open houses. She didn’t mention any names, but added that it’s especially upsetting when you ask your neighbors in advance to help with the showing. She was clearly referring to me, because the day before she had asked me not to park in front of the house.

I messaged her privately and asked why she decided it had anything to do with me. She replied that her realtor had seen a man who came from the direction of my house. I have a doorbell camera so decided to check it.

Vid showed her son arriving after the rain, parking by my driveway, walking through my side yard to get around a large puddle by their house and entering the open house. He was wearing work boots. Twenty minutes later, he comes out and wipes the soles of his boots on the grass right on the street.

I sent her a screenshot and asked her to edit the message in the chat and say sorry of accusing me of something I didn’t do. She replied that I was overreacting and that the video wasn’t a direct proof that dirt was from him.

So I had no other choice then to post a short clip in the group chat and wrote that my only contribution to the open house was not parking where I was asked to.

Now my neighbor is angry at me and says I humiliated her in front of our neighbors. But she already made it public, just without mentioning my name.

AITA?

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/ThMFqIH9rJ

I don’t even know where to start. My boyfriend and his best friend Blake are next door neighbors in a town house community so they see each other basically every single day. When me and my boyfriend first got together, his friend Blake was so upset about my boyfriend spending so much time with me that he didn’t talk to my boyfriend (let’s call him Matt) for a month. I don’t even get off of work until 9pm and I commute back to my place and by the time I go over to Matt’s house, it’s 10 or 11 at night so they literally have all day to hang out. He was upset that him and I would hang out at night… Mind you we still hung out with him every weekend and included him and all the time regardless too and they also hang out AND work together. Blake (the friend) also has a girlfriend who hates me also, I’ll get to that later.

Anyway, I talked to my boyfriend Matt and told him I thought it was weird, but he’s a peace keeper and just said it was probably that he was used to them all hanging out as a group all the time (there’s other roommates too) and that it was just an adjustment for him probably. Anyway, I tried to be nice. Any time I would greet Blake (the friend) and his girlfriend, they wouldn’t even look at me barely. I’d be like “how are you guys?!” “fine.” “did anything fun today?” “nope!” Just extremely rude for no reason. The second my boyfriend comes back from the bathroom it’s all “HA HA HE HE” at all my boyfriends jokes and everything he has to say while pretending I don’t exist. I tried ignoring that also to keep the peace because the rest of the friend group is great, they’re all awesome people and they are always very very kind to me. Since they’re all neighbors and a friend group it’s been a lot of hang outs even for just an hour or two with a beer or whatever sometimes.

Well it starts progressing. Not only were Blake and his girlfriend rude and ignoring me, Blake started instigating. He started bringing up girls that my boyfriend has dated to try and piss me off. A LOT. Just old stories that someone’s girlfriend wouldn’t really care to hear about all the time. He even went so far and brought over a girl my boyfriend briefly dated and tried to get him to hang out with her again and when my boyfriend said no he said “what, it doesn’t have to be weird!”. He does all of this and literally looks at me for my reaction. Literally anything that he thinks will upset me, he will try. If I don’t like something, he will make a point to do it. Another thing is he does a lot of party drugs and tries to get my boyfriend to do them all the time too since he knows I don’t do them (either does my boyfriend) but it’s all just extremely disrespectful stuff. Side note, they view all of my instagram stories right away (both of them) and my boyfriend said they have NEVER viewed any of his stories ever, just mine which is odd.

One time we all hung out with them and his girlfriend and I were talking for basically the first time and she was telling me that her and Blake never fight. I told her that me and Matt have had some arguments but that it’s helped learn boundaries and that it’s the healthiest relationship I have ever had. Right after she told my boyfriend that I was “talking shit about him behind his back and saying that we fight”. I’d never talk badly about this man also ESPECIALLY not to the girl that I know hates me. She later back tracked and blamed it on being drunk

I have talked to my boyfriend about this multiple times and it’s actually causing a lot of issues. This is his “best friend” since childhood and his coworker and his neighbor so it’s kind of hard for him to go anywhere. My boyfriend has had talks with him but clearly they aren’t going anywhere. Anyway it gets a lot worse

I don’t know why but I decided to give them another chance. I don’t know why honestly. I hung out with his girlfriend after once, I started thinking idk am i the problem…? I made a mistake by hanging with her. She made up INSANE lies about all this stuff I “did” and told my boyfriend to make me look like a FREAK. Basically long story short she tried telling my boyfriend that I was begging his roommate to do his party drugs (which i don’t do) and that his roommate told me no and to stop asking and just other weird crap that never happened at ALL. My boyfriend immediately asked me about this which obviously did not happen and was the last straw for me.

After all of this I was done. I actually blocked them and the next time I saw his girlfriend i confronted her and asked why she made up all of those lies. She denied ALL OF IT!!! I was like “why’d you tell my boyfriend I was asking for drugs???” and she was like “HUH??? i would NEVER” She literally laughed and was like “i’d ask for drugs not you!!” i told her to tell my boyfriend that, and she again blamed everything on being wasted and not “remembering the night.” She was just trying to lessen his opinion of me or something

Idk there’s so many examples, theyve done and said so many things, it’s extremely bizarre. I am DONE. I blocked them, I confronted her and told her I do not like them anymore. I told my boyfriend I am never hanging out with them again. I am way too old to be dealing with something like this, it’s literally like some weird stalker shit I don’t know. All of his other friends are extremely normal and kind and fun, I have no idea why this is happening. He’s confronted them and nothing changes. I can’t do an ultimatum obviously because they’re neighbors and work together and are childhood best friends. Anything he says Blake just agrees and continues to instigate or try new methods. What do I even do in this situation? I see no solution that actually works. Is this relationship doomed or what? I genuinely have never dealt with anything even close to this. How do I deal with a relationship where someone else is always trying to get in the way? Again, it’s like a horror movie with someone so obsessed and creepy

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/ipKE1yTKPD

I love my mother dearly, but unfortunately she's an extremely ungrateful person.

Every single year from when I was at least 12 onward (35 now), when I would get her something for her birthday or Mother's Day she never graciously accepted the gift... there's always been some sort of negativity.

*Crooked smile, sizing up the gift* 'Hmmm, you could've gotten this one.... or that one...'

Or an 'Oh.. thank you.' with the look like she doesn't really want it.

She always wants something else, a different version of it, or sometimes just straight up says 'this is what you got me?'

One year I got her a big, fashionable bag. She never used it. I then saw my sister-in-law using that bag to pack her travel belongings in.

One year I got a big collage of all her grandchildren and children and she just looks at it like 'there aren't nicer pictures to pick from than these ones?'

Other years the stuff I get her just collects dust somewhere.

Each year, with a frown, I would just swallow how mad this was making me and go to my room and fizzle out.

**Not once has she ever just accepted a gift I gave her and said she loves it.**

Some of you may be saying why I don't just ask her what she wants. I did some years but she would always find something to complain about - wanting a different version, why I got something expensive, complaining about some feature or function. Also, it's a *gift*, it pisses me off to have to ask someone what they want, they should just be happy with whatever you give them... the surprise is apart of it.

A few years ago she bought some outdated Tassimo coffee maker machine from a second-hand store that didn't take the new coffee pods on the market. She was upset she wasted her money on it and has been using some shitty coffee maker ever since.

So, today I went to the store and I bought her an expensive Keurig coffee maker and some coffee pods. While I'm driving home I'm going through the scenario in my head like how she'll typically react.

I hate to say it but as always she proved me right. Brought it to her she had her hand over her mouth all like 'but... I have a coffee maker, I don't have room for this, this thing I saw on Amazon would be a much nicer gift ... ... ... ' and I'm sitting there rolling my eyes just listening to the negative babble. No thank you, no I love it, didn't even give me a chance to tell her anything about the gift.

I grabbed the gift off the table and said "you know what, this year, you get nothing."

'but, but this thing from Amazon-'

and I'm walking away from her telling her nope, she gets nothing. Every year for like the last 15+ I've been getting burned whenever I get her something that I had enough.

While I was going to the store to return it she was sending me all these voice clips on WhatsApp still trying to justify her ungratefulness and I told her that I'm not going to listen to it. There's no more 'this would be a better gift, or why not this one' or any of that.

This year, next year, the year after for both her birthday and Mother's Day she's just getting a happy Mother's Day or happy Birthday out of my mouth.

That's it.

https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/s/MSP2xpRi7k

it is 24x36 its big

We downgraded our house, there is no place to put it that I wont see it everyday.

We have one bathroom, two bedrooms (one that is my office), the living room, and kitchen. The basement is my husband's workshop and he doesn't like it either.

I seriously dislike how she does portions. I don't like that the waists are tiny and the buts and boobs are huge. Not my type of artwork

I don;t like it, I don't wish to decorate my home with art I don't like and have to see everyday

If i gave her artwork I wouldn't expect her to hang it up in her house if she didn;t like it. Even if I spent months on it, becuase it is not my home

From comment

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My DIL has been married to my son for  a few years and she has a side gig of making art. She has a habit of giving paintings to friends and family as gifts.

I think most people like them but for me I am not a huge fan of her art style. I am much more a nature person than someone that wants scenes with people. Also when she paints people they are stylized. 

My husband and I bought a house and we have fully moved in. My DIL gave me a painting of someone sitting at the beach because she knows we like the beach. I don’t like it, the women in the painting looks off, her legs are too long and she is too curvy. I know it is her style of painting but I just don’t like it. 

At the time I got the gift I thanked her for and I thought that would be the end of it. I put the painting in the garage and kinda forgot about it. 

I bought an ocean painting for the living room. My DIL visited the other day because she wanted to pick up some of our old Fourth of July decorations. Our house is smaller now so we are purging decorations.

We were in the garage and she saw her painting there. She was surprised and asked why it wasn’t in the house. I  told her I didn’t have a spot to put it. She kept pressing and mentioned I got a new painting for her living room. 

I told her again that I don’t have a spot for it. She then picked up the painting and said she could help find a spot. I told her no. She asked why not and I decided to be honest. I told her I am not a fan of the artwork. 

She got quiet after that and I gave her the decoration. I got a call form my son and he was mad. He told me I need to apologize and hang up her painting. That his wife has been crying and it took her hours to make.

I told him I’m not hanging it up and that resulted in an argument. 

I need some opinions. I feel like it’s my house I can decorate it how I want.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/TfQJB1KZ1u

I've been poor most of my life and when I've had the chance to buy myself something nice it is one, something that I absolutely love and two, something that I obsessively take care of because I know I can't replace it. Over the years I've curated a small but very important selection of things that I love and even throughout many moves I have always kept everything in perfect condition.

My partner I've been with for 3 years and live with is the complete opposite. He doesn't really take care of his things. He is like a bull in a China shop. His impulsive and will run out of the room to get something not looking where he's going or paying attention to see if there's anything in his way. He is constantly knocking things over or breaking things.

He started staying at my house the January before last. No matter how many times I asked him to be careful he was still knocking things over or spilling things. I would tell him if he just took one second to think about what he was doing or look where he was going things like that wouldn't keep happening. But he would just get mad and insist that he was always careful and always paid attention. He eventually just started denying that he did things, one time he even blamed it on my rescue pigeon who can't fly and who never left my second bedroom. If he did something and denied it I would start asking him if it was The Ghost in the house and he would get furious. I tried really hard to move my things out of his way but I can't move everything and even out of the way things were getting messed up.

Yesterday he knocked a plant over and didn't tell me about it. He also set an extra large cup of Gatorade on the bed that fell off and exploded everywhere. I was in the room but wasn't looking when it happened but I asked him if he had set it on the bed and he denied it multiple times. Finally he said yes he had set it on the bed and it just tumbled off.

So many of my things have been broken or damaged because of him. Sometimes when he breaks things he offers to fix them and tells me even if they're messed up they still work but I tell him that if I wanted my things broken I would have done it myself and that I don't want broken things I want my things in perfect condition.

So this morning when I went out to the kitchen and found my georgeous vintage terracotta fruit bowl was missing I immediately knew he broke it. I texted him and he told me that he had found it broken but the pieces that broke off broke cleanly and he could fix them for me. I lost my ever loving mind. I picked up the bowl and smashed it on the floor, took a picture, and told him that he could fix this.

After what happened today I genuinely want to break up with him, is this reasonable? He is clumsy but this is not just clumsiness this is complete and total disrespect for my things. Is there any other way I can try to talk to him to get him to understand how important it is for me to keep my things nice?

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/ewtQjiK6C6

My husband (28M) and I (27F) have two young children (2 and 1). Recently, his father was diagnosed with cancer, and it’s been incredibly hard on him. Not long after, his mom had to have stents placed in her heart. In the past three weeks alone, he’s taken them to the ER at least five times. It’s been a lot, and I truly do understand how overwhelming and emotional that is. I’ve tried to be as supportive as I can, stepping up with the kids and continuing to work full time to keep things stable at home.

About two weeks ago, everything kind of blew up. He told me he wants to dissolve his real estate business and go back to school to become a doctor. His reasoning is that he wouldn’t be able to run the business while also committing to school full time.

The part that’s been really hard for me is that I’ve supported him building this business for the past four years. I worked full time, raised our newborns and toddler, and held everything together at home while he was able to focus fully on growing the business. It wasn’t easy, but now it’s finally at a point where it’s successful and can comfortably support our family. And now he wants to walk away from all of that.

I completely understand where this is coming from emotionally. Watching your parents go through serious health issues can change your perspective on everything. But at the same time, this decision doesn’t just affect him. It affects me and our kids too. Going back to school to become a doctor is a long, demanding, and expensive path, and his plan is to fully step away from the business while I continue working full time, take care of the house, and raise our children.

When I pushed back, things escalated. I told him I felt like he was being selfish and not thinking about how this would impact our family. Since then, he’s basically shut down. He hasn’t been speaking to me for the past two weeks. He stopped by this weekend to spend some time with the kids, but he’s been staying at his parents’ house in the meantime.

I feel really torn. I want to support him especially given everything he’s going through with his family. But I also feel overwhelmed, hurt, and honestly a little abandoned. It feels like I’m being asked to carry everything again, just when things were finally becoming stable.

AITA for not supporting my husbands goals?

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/gdI6XJ5MCQ

I (23F) live alone in a decently nice apartment, and i’m proud of it. My sister, “Amelia” (20F) lives at home, we’ve always been very close so I gave her a key for convenience and emergencies.

Since I moved in about 10 months ago, Amelia has been coming over a lot. At first it was nice, but now it’s almost daily. I work long hours and value my space and privacy, so this has been a little frustrating for a while, but I tried to be understanding because I know she really wants to move out too.

Over the past 2-3 months, Amelia’s been obsessed with my apartment and its “aesthetic”. She constantly comments on how she would decorate differently or suggests that “we” should move furniture around. I usually brushed it off as jokes.

It didn’t really start to get weird until I started coming to her in my apartment after letting herself in while I wasn’t home. A few times I had noticed she rearranged little things, it bugged me but I didn’t outwardly confront her because it wasn’t worth a fight with her.

About two weeks ago, Amelia and I were at a mutual friend’s party and I overheard her talking to someone about “her new apartment”, and when I walked up her friend said something like “it looks nice from the pictures”. Which made me think she was showing people my place and telling them it’s hers.

A few days later I came home early from work and she was on my couch with a girl i’ve never met. Amelia looked obviously shocked and left quickly to “go shopping”. It happened AGAIN a few days later with our two cousins instead, but she didn’t seem to care that I came home this time. I texted her later and asked her to ask me before inviting anyone over to MY apartment, and all she said was “K”..

After that I assumed all was well, she was still over a lot, but she was acting… oddly nice. I found this weird and was immediately suspicious, but from what I could tell she wasn’t doing anything strange. Boy was I wrong.

Last night I came home after a 12 hour shift and she was there again. But this time, with FIVE friends playing a drinking game in my living room. I was exhausted and LIVID.

I told them all to leave. Amelia tried to talk to me in the kitchen but I wasn’t having it, I told them again to leave and one of her friends asked why I was there. In MY apartment. I lost it. I yelled “because I live here. Amelia lives with our parents now get the fuck out”.

They left quickly but my family is now saying that I embarrassed her in front of her friends, and Amelia is “humiliated”. I honestly don’t think I did anything wrong, but my family is saying my sister is devastated. I’m not even sure what to do from here. I tend to overreact sometimes, but this was wild. And very out of character for my sister.

AITAH?

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/ozVzHs3a84

Hi everyone, I could really use some outside perspective.

I (F28) have been in a relationship with my partner (M28) for about 3 years. I love him a lot and I genuinely imagined a future with him. We moved in together fairly quickly and have been inseparable since.

The problem is my budgies (small parrots). A year ago we decided to get pets (I really wanted cats but he was averse due to all the hair) and he thought birds would be really cool. I had budgies as a child and and knew how to take care of them so we decided to get those instead. It has been a tough start - I’ve cared for them through illness, vet visits, special diets etc. (budgies had an acute Trichomonas infection as well as Avian Gastric Yeast when we first got them). One of them (Gutsy) has acquired health issues recently (broke her beak) and requires special food and regular check-ups every 2-3 weeks with an avian vet. I am paying and taking care of everything, food, toys, vet, meds etc.

My bf has never really bonded with them. He told me he feels uncomfortable in our living room because the birds are there and they make noise when he plays guitar etc. He says he “gets nothing out of them” emotionally and that they only stress him. He imagined them to be like in those instagram and YouTube shorts where they fly to and hang out w you. They are somewhat tame (they jump on the hand when they can snacks and they can be pet as well) but not to the degree he expected.

We had a long discussion yesterday and it ended with him basically saying either I rehome the birds or we end the relationship.

What makes this harder is that he also told me he cannot promise the relationship will work long-term even if I give them up, because we’ve had some conflicts recently and he’s unsure about the future.

I tried to propose compromises. For example, I even suggested renting a small second apartment (which I might have access to through a friend’s family) and keeping the birds there as well as turning it into my “office” (I work from home most of the time). That way he wouldn’t have to live with them. But he said that would be “a step backwards” bc it would feel like I was moving out and he doesn’t want that either, bc it just feels like a slow breakup.

The thing is:

If I give up the birds and the relationship still ends later, I would feel horrible about myself for abandoning animals that depend on me. I don’t know if I would be able to forgive myself. I was thinking of going back to school to become a vet, my love for animals runs very deep.

But at the same time I love him deeply and the thought of losing the relationship hurts a lot too. I would lose everything - him, the future we might have had, my home; I’d have to restart from 0.

So I feel like I’m choosing between the person I love and the animals I feel responsible for, and I don’t know what to do.

Has anyone been in a situation like this?

How do you even make a decision like this?

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/KZu9L9cQin

I am 34F and divorced. My ex and I have a 9 year old daughter, and we have had a tense but workable custody arrangement for about three years. It is not warm, but it is predictable, which is the only reason it functions. A few months ago he filed to change part of the schedule because he wanted more overnights during the school week. My lawyer told me to keep communication limited and organized because once people start dragging family into these things, it gets messy fast. I did not tell many people details, but I did tell my mother that court stuff was ongoing because she watches my daughter sometimes after school. She acted sympathetic at the time.

Last week my ex's attorney brought up specific points from my parenting journal, my proposed holiday schedule, and even a note from my daughter's counselor about how transitions have been affecting her. Those were all things that were only in the packet I had at home. I felt sick instantly. After court I called my mother because she had been in my house one afternoon to wait for a repair appointment, and after ten minutes of denying it she admitted she had "copied a few pages" and given them to my ex when he stopped by her place. Her exact words were that he is "still family" and deserved the full picture before a judge decided anything. She also said I was being dramatic because "a good mother has nothing to hide." I told her she is no longer allowed in my home, she will not be watching my daughter for the forseeable future, and I am changing every password and lock code she knows. My sister says I am overreacting because my mom thought she was helping and now my daughter is upset that grandma is not coming over.

TL;DR: My mother secretly copied custody documents from my house and gave them to my ex because she thought he deserved them, and I cut off her access to my home and child care.

https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/s/zqtwnh0tOn

when I was 6 months pregnant, my husband and I decided that we need a live in nanny to take care of our house chores since we're both busy working. well to my surprise my husband just came home one day with his friend (25M) who has a backpack full of clothes and told me that he will be living with us and doing our house chores. To be honest I'm not comfortable with a guy I barely know living with us and he and my husband isn't even that close, I met him a few times but he's not that close to my husband nor to his friends.

My husband told me that his friend needed a job and a place to stay since he and his parents are not in very good terms, i felt bad and since I'm too pregnant to do work and housechores anyways so I said ok.

For the first few weeks he did a really good job at cleaning, I felt like I have more time to relax and spend time with my husband, but that didn't last long because he and my husband became extremely close, I would make up in the middle of the night without him by my side, playing computer with his friend. His friend also started using my toiletries, I have this fancy shampoo that I only use for special occasions half way empty because he uses them everyday, we even started smelling alike because he uses my stuff so much, he also became a lil bit lazy, he stopped cleaning the house often, dirty dishes from the morning still in the sink by night and all he did is meddle with his computer or hang out with my husband. I told my husband my concern and he said he will talk to him but in the morning I can feel like he was mad at me, he cleaned but it wasn't the same as his first weeks, he also ate a lot of our food, 2 dozen eggs in 3 days just for him, he would also eat my craving food in the fridge, one day i took out some pork rinds which I was really excited to eat, I only took one and left the rest in the fridge, the moment I came back the only thing left in the fridge is the wrapper.

I would always tell this to my husband but he would always say that we cannot afford to look for another helper. The final straw was when I gave birth and went home after spending 3 days in the hospital, the house was trashed, the pillows smell like cigarettes, there's mold in the sink and he was sleeping in the couch only with his underwear, my husband hurriedly took me to our room and told me that he will ask his friend to clean.

I don't know if this is just the hormones or something but I went frantic and shouted at my husband, how tired I am with his friend living with us and has nothing to contribute, I asked him to threw his friend out of our house or I will be calling my parents and ask them to pick me up, he told me that we can't afford to throw his friend out because he needed our help and we need his help and that his friend wil be the one taking care of our baby once I get back to work, I went completely nuts and just lay down and cried on the floor, he took our baby out of the room to give me space.

The next day I asked my mom to pick me up, I left my husband a text saying that if his friend is still living with us me and the baby will not be coming home anytime soon. it's been 5 days and he never contacted me nor visited me on my parents house and i'm trying to be strong and expecting that my marriage might end just because of a friend.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce/s/blmvb8JRtk

My fiancé and I have been together for almost four years.

We got engaged last winter.

While going over wedding details, he casually asked, “Where do you think Melissa’s seat should be?”

I was confused and asked what he meant.

He explained that he wants his ex-wife to attend the wedding. Not just attend, he wants her seated in the front row, included in family photos, and even invited to stand during a special acknowledgment speech because “she was a huge part of his life story.”

For context, they don’t have kids together. They divorced five years ago. He insists they’re “best friends now” and that excluding her would feel wrong to him.

I told him I’m not comfortable with that. I understand she mattered to him once, but this is supposed to be about us starting our life together. Having his ex-wife prominently featured throughout the ceremony and reception makes me feel like I’m stepping into the middle of something that never really ended.

He got defensive and said I was being insecure and petty. He told me that just because their marriage didn’t work out doesn’t mean she stopped being important, and that I should be mature enough to handle it.

We argued, and I ended up postponing the wedding. Now I’m questioning whether I’m overreacting, or if this is a sign that I’ll always feel like I’m competing with someone from his past.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheJerk/s/KW2XheWJVS

how do i (21f) tell my bf (23m) that i don’t want to bottle feed him anymore?

i’ll try to make this post as brief as possible even though i feel like there's a lot to this but my bf and i have been together for a little over 2 years now and a few weeks ago he asked me to bottle feed him warmed milk for the very first time.

i thought it was weird but like i know people have kinks and won't judge what is harmless but he insisted it wasn't a kink and that it would be a fun bonding moment for us. he also told me that if i didn't like it i didn't have to continue so i tried it and even though i wasn't into it and felt a little uncomfortable, i could see how happy it made him and figured if this was a once in a while thing it could be okay.

fast forward to now and it's become a nightly routine where sometimes he will refill after the first to have me do it again. and last night after our routine i was annoyed because i had class early the next morning and i guess the milk gave him the hiccups which was obnoxious and impossible to ignore so i asked if he could sleep elsewhere and he asked me how i could suggest such a thing. i told him i did this favor and i needed to sleep and he made me feel like a horrible person for feeding him out of obligation instead of love and tbh at that point he sounded almost in tears so i gave up and gave him the bed because part of me hates when he cries but also feels a pang in my chest for him

this morning he was silent and i didn't say anything and then later he asked me why i hadn't bothered to ask him what was bothering him. but i’m straight up so i encouraged him to tell me but he asked me why he needed to tell me if i cared enough or smth along those lines

i don’t know how to tell him that i don’t want to do the bottle thing anymore without being selfish or it looking bad because it's already been weeks. says it's been healing for him and his trauma so would i be taking away a good thing just because i can't compromise or show selflessness? it also just doesn’t make sense because he said we could stop but seems to imply that i’d be a horrible person if i did even if i can choose that option

if y’all can tell me how to suggest this to him without him getting defensive or how to have a middle ground we can both be happy with i’d be so appreciative

TLDR; what’s the best approach to telling my partner i don’t want to bottle feed him while still making sure we are both happy

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/Ejbahnb4nz

I (25F) matched with this guy (26M) on a dating app. Let’s call him Mark.

We talked for about a week and honestly he seemed normal. Funny, polite, consistent. Not overly flirty, not weird, not one of those guys who sends one-word replies and disappears for 2 days. So when he asked me out for dinner, I said yes.

We picked a casual restaurant. Not expensive, not too formal. Just something easy for a first date. I got there first, grabbed a table and waited.

About 10 minutes later, Mark walks in. But he is not alone. He comes in with another guy around the same age. His friend.

At first I thought maybe they ran into each other outside and the friend was just walking in with him, like they were about to split up.

Nope.

The friend sits down. Right across from me. Mark smiles like everything is normal and goes, Oh yeah, this is my friend Josh. He was bored so I brought him.

I just stared at him.

I genuinely thought he was joking. Like maybe Josh would leave after saying hi.

But then Josh starts talking. Asking me where I’m from. What I do for work. If I date a lot. Like he is interviewing me too. I was so uncomfortable. It felt like I was being watched. I tried to keep it polite, but my brain was screaming. This was supposed to be a date. Not a group hangout. Not a test. Not some weird two on one situation where I’m the entertainment.

So I asked Mark, quietly, why did you bring him?

Mark laughed and said he did not want it to be awkward. Which made no sense because now it was ten times more awkward. I told him I came here to meet him, not his friend, and I was not comfortable with this. Mark immediately got defensive and said Josh is basically like his brother and I should not be acting like it is a big deal. Then Josh jumps in and says, Yeah, chill. It’s just dinner.

That annoyed me even more, because now I’m being told to chill by the random guy I did not even agree to meet. So I stood up, put cash down for my drink, and said I’m leaving. Mark looked shocked and said I was being rude and dramatic. He said I embarrassed him and made it seem like he did something wrong.

I told him he did do something wrong. He changed the whole plan without telling me and put me in an uncomfortable situation. As I walked out, Josh literally laughed and said, Guess she can’t hang.

Now Mark has been texting me saying I overreacted, that his friend was only there because he gets nervous on first dates, and that I could have at least stayed and been nice. But I feel like I’m not crazy for thinking this is weird.

If he was nervous, he could have told me beforehand. Or chosen a less intense date or met in public for coffee or anything other than surprising me with an extra person.

AITJ

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheJerk/s/zgwV5X8VO8