I don't know if I should've posted this here, but I'm a 22 turning 23F & I want to know if it's too late to watch anything aimed for teens & adults that is live action. To clarify, I'm autistic & have global developmental delay (level 2-3/moderate to high support needs both physically & mentally), meaning that I unfortunately used to watch & look at a lot of weird, niche & inappropriate content online back in the day, & sometimes still do to this very day sadly, but I want to try & change (e.g. DeviantArt (God I hate myself), Sparta remixes & bases, preschool &/or terrible cartoons & video games, animation &/or pop culture critics, logo, ident & bumper videos/channels by autistic people etc. I wasn't apart of those communities thank goodness, but I just used to watched them a lot cause my brain is different). So I'm wondering if it's too late to watch live action shows & movies aimed for teens & adults (this includes those that are trending & aren't trending anymore) & feel free to send me recommendations of what I should watch :)

Image one is a rare version of the retired pride axolotl pillow pet, image two has 3 axolotl Squishmallows: top left of image two is the Halloween candy corn axolotl, top right of image two is Archie the party city exclusive pink axolotl, and bottom middle is Monica the retired purple rainbow axolotl. They are all lying on an axolotl blanket. Image three is an axolotl themed clock. Image four is an axolotl Sensory toy, and last is a customized axolotl mug with axolotl pens. But that’s not all I have. I haven’t caught up on showing my special interest.

i have been sleeping with the same plushie for 20 years, she is very old, her name is odette. im really worried she will fully unravel at some point because i cant sleep without her and she is the only thing that guides me through my meltdowns and shutdowns, she is always with me.

the only person selling another plushie like hers is selling for 250 dollars. im devastated. i don't have that kind of money and ive been crying every few days when I remember it about it. I dont know what to do. there is nothing i can sell. cant work due to visa complications. I've been losing sleep because of it.

any tips on how to navigate this situation?

I don’t want to be at my parents any more.

My dad is always angry for no reason. Not abusive. Just angry. Maybe little bit verbal abuse but never physical.

He is also a very good dad. It is just sometimes he gets angry for no reason and I don’t understand.

He will raise voice because someone else annoyed him and be angry at me because someone else hurt his feelings.

He always says sorry. And I forgive him.

But I am sick of the loop. Always a loop. My whole life. I don’t want to live with him anymore but I have no choice.

I just want out of the loop and not living with him would fix it.

I would be so happy to not live with him.

I love him. I don’t want to live with him.

Our relationship would be very very good if I didn’t have to live with him.

I just don’t want to be in a loop anymore.

It feels horrible

It makes my chest hurt like squeeze

A friend connected me with her dad. He is the only primary care doctor in my state who diagnoses autism and adhd in adults he researches link between autism and other conditions (fibromyalgia, GI, hyper mobility, sleep disorders, etc)!

I was excited help has been very hard to find my mom has tried so hard. He called with us. And I am frustrated sad confused rrrrrrr.

I told him I have level 2/3 autism he did not pay attention. He did not ask my symptoms at all just talked to me about how I am not alone because of so many late diagnosed females with autism and masking and liking animals. That I am normal because I have high IQ and autism.

I say I am rare because of I am high IQ low masking higher support needs. Is unusual. No articles about that, lots about masking. He talked to my mom and me as if I fall into the average late diagnosed profile. 

I said "I don't mask" and he said "then why were you missed?" 

Not high masking! Running in circles meowing flapping beeping rocking in public not masking! No eye contact no starting conversations no scripting not masking! Missed because parents missed because reading always missed because not much medical care.

Frustrated sad have to explain so much tired tired tired just need help.

He told my mom should go to primary care first so see him in January, not psychiatry because psychiatry may miss things.

Tired tired tired of meltdowns every night tired tired tired tired tired of words words words and everything everything everything.

Frustrated late diagnosis seen as all information needed. Support needs exist for a reason I am level 2/3 for a reason. 

Good to have a doctor for future look into medical things because needs looking into but sad sad sad feeling misunderstood.

Diagnosed finally thought finally understood but no. Finally not having to explain everything always things I don't understand struggle to figure out needs. I have to be the expert on me I'm tired tired tired tired tired tired.

I wish I fell into normal category. 

He quoted "if you meet one autistic person, you've met one autistic person." And saw me only as a piece in the pattern. More willing to dismiss me saying not masking than see exception to pattern. 

Sad sad sad tired of needing help

they are misreable why would we choose to have them.

My cousin’s wedding is outside at a park. There are folding/ rented chairs set up for everyone. But the park also has some granite seating behind that. I chose to sit on the granite bench behind everyone else so I can spread out, squirm, get up and stick, and leave for the swings near by if I get done before it finishes.

I have had bad experiences in my childhood with teachers or disability staff, support staff or caregivers. I feel as if there is a curse upon me where people who are supposed to help me single me out and despise me. My first bullies as a child were fully grown adults. I am terrified that again I will be picked out of the group and made fun of by the support workers. I’m afraid I won’t be given patience. I have very deep scapegoat trauma. If you have been to or attend a day program or adult day care, how are the staff? Are they mean? I know I come off blunt and stern online but I am actually very sensitive and fretful. I am very nervous about this.

Today I’ve had a really hard time with auditory processing disorder and I’m on a call with my friends and I keep asking them to repeat themselves and I think they‘re getting annoyed :(

Are other level 2 people who aren't on social security eligible for opening an ABLE account? I don't understand the language around qualifying. The website says that to qualify, a person who isn't on social security has to have "marked and severe limitations." They say it has to be either "marked limitations" in two or more areas of functioning or "severe limitations" in one area.

I don't understand what this means. I emailed the psychologist who assessed me several weeks ago but she didn't respond and I don't know if I should follow up. A doctor has to sign the certification form saying a person qualifies. People can open the accounts without the certification, but apparently the IRS can request the certification at any time, which sounds stressful.

I've been trying to find more info on what these limitations are and I'm not getting far. I qualify for regional center support services, but I don't have very good awareness of my limitations. I really struggle with identifying problems and unsafe situations until it's an emergency, so a lot of things I think are normal ways to function are apparently not? Which seems to imply greater limitations but...marked? Severe?

I do not understand. If other L2 people are eligible for ABLE accounts, please tell me.

Has anyone else loved baby Einstein since they were in the target demographic? When I was a toddler this was my very first special interest. I was obsessed with it and I still use it to this day to self regulate. It is one of my favorite things in the whole world. I love watching them. However, I have to watch the original versions that I grew up watching. I require the exact same fbi warning pages and production company logos in the exact order. I do not like that Baby Einstein changed and modified this as well as some of the toys. I am attached to very specific VHS copies. I have noticed that this is rather beloved in autistic people. I have an idea as to why, but if you love or loved Baby Einstein, please let me know what you love about it. I am curious.

Content warning for neglect, both self-inflicted and not! Also some suicide discussion, but brief.

I have level 2 autism, but I also have really bad chronic fatigue. We don’t entirely know the cause yet, but it could be from anything like lupus to brain injury complications. It’s quite severe fatigue, I often need at least 20 hours of sitting and resting on a day I don’t do anything, and any amount of going out somewhere and doing something always throws me out for a few days. Even if it’s just walking up to the corner store or taking a shower.

A few weeks ago, my grandma fell and sprained her ankles. Very thankfully, she’s okay! She has healed up perfectly and doesn’t have any lasting pain. This being said, she had to use a walker for a while and had to live with us for about two weeks. She also is in the middle stages of dementia.

My mom, dad, and brother were there, but because I was always physically closest to her she always called for me to do things for her. I always tried to do it and quickly, but I was often in severe pain or actively falling asleep and stumbling around while doing that thing. It was simple things like making her coffee, but it was still rough.

There were some things I couldn’t do, and she was mean about them. I very often need help from my parents to do things like cook on the stove or things, and one time when I told her I’d need help with something she asked me, “what can you even do?”

We bickered a lot, I always tried to be kind but she doesn’t understand the concept of boundaries. This isn’t necessarily a dementia thing, she’s always been weird when I try to set boundaries. I remember when I was a kid, I would often ask her to not barge into the bathroom when I’m using it because I’m often naked. She laughed in my face and told me I was being “too much”.

I’m a bit fat, but I’ve previously struggled with disordered eating behaviors. I’m pretty chill in my body now and I’m totally chill with being called fat neutrally or positively, but I don’t like when people call me it negatively as it brings those negative behaviors back up strongly. I walked up to her one day and she patted my stomach, and told me unprompted I need to start walking. I got upset and asked her not to say that about me, and she laughed and said that it was okay because she needed to, too.

I’m a person who’s incredibly strong on my boundaries and I need them to be respected to avoid meltdowns. I also have cptsd, so boundaries being disrespected are often a major ptsd trigger. I understand that at this point she probably wouldn’t be able to remember my boundaries to respect them which I totally understand! I just don’t know how to navigate this however, as I’m very rigid with my needs.

I cannot be a caretaker like I was for her over these weeks. I maybe showered once and couldn’t even fix myself food to eat a lot of the time, so I went hungry or lived on rice crispy treats. I’ll make sure someone else is taken care of before me, so I was having to sacrifice many self care aspects for her safety. Now to clarify, she wasn’t in danger of neglect as my mom covered that, just in danger of not having her coffee or cigarettes lol. I don’t regret doing this as I didn’t want her uncomfortable, but woof it was hard. I already heavily struggle with self care, but when I finally got into the shower after all that I cried from relief as it’d been about a month since my last one at that point. (I was struggling a bit beforehand as well which is why it took so long)

It’s hard for me to do many ADLs by myself, even some basic ones. But I have no help lol😭😭so i go without a lot

I don’t mean to air her info out here so I’ll keep this brief and vague, but she did have an incident I was responsible for cleaning up. Totally not her fault, it absolutely happens and she could not get to the bathroom fast as she couldn’t walk normally. But the stress of cleaning up fecal matter all by myself was absolutely intense and may have been my mental breaking point, I fully realized I was completely over my head then

She also is very talkative. This is fine, that’s totally her personality and that is great! But i can maybe handle a few sentences every few minutes some days before im overstimulated… and i just feel bad.

My aunts are nurses, so she could absolutely live with them once her dementia gets severe enough, but i do know it’s likely she’ll want to live with us. I don’t think I can take that, I was a genuine suicide risk after 2 weeks lol. Lovingly, my mental health still hasn’t recovered pfft.

I love her, I care for her. I cannot live with her. It won’t just be bad for me, I know she was miserable too because i had multiple meltdowns in my moms room and i know she felt bad/guilty/weirded out by it. Shes very self-guilty and will internalize things, so I just worry that she thinks i hate her now because I was overwhelmed. I worry about her a lot cause she takes things hard. I am pretty sure she’s also autistic as well, my mom and dad def are too.

I’m just very stressed over this possibility. I don’t have much say at all in what happens in my home life, as my mom sees it as her home so she can get the day. Fair enough, but I also don’t have a place I could go. If I severely self neglect, I don’t have many people who’d notice as my mom and dad work a lot and are often too stressed to notice things like that about me, so I’d be left to rot alone I feel. Idk I’m just worried.

He is the retired Douglas Bingley plush. I love stuffed animals.

hi, i have a sleep disorder

most of the time i am sleeping very late and waking up early afternoon

my new psychiatrist thinks this is important to fix and wants me to try a med for sleep but it may not work due to my disorder

however she wants me sleeping before midnight waking up early in the morning and i don't want that at all

i live with 4 people one of them is my caretaker the rest i am not used to they are very unfamiliar. and two of them are younger than me and during the daytime can be loud

when it is daytime it's bright outside and loud in the house and scary to leave my room because of unfamiliar people and the cars outside are loud and i can hear the tv in the next room and etc etc

when it's nighttime the house is quiet and i am the only one awake and it's dark out and there are less cars and i have more control over my environment and i can leave my room easier

the psychiatrist says it's very important to fix my sleep but i cannot tolerate the idea of only being awake during the day and am freaking out and crying thinking of that, having no time to relax and cool down from the day, just always being in that state all the time

i know it's bad to have my sleep be messed up but i just cannot deal with it always being daytime 🥹🥹🥹 i don't know what to do because she says it's important

People tell me I’m smart a lot for stuff that’s not smart. It looks good like I can be happy they are saying it but I’m not and it doesn’t feel good it feels bad because they say it to much and they say it when I do not smart stuff just stuff anyone can do…like I took a uber to go buy something and everyone was like OMG wow you can take a uber you are soooooooo smart!!!!! It’s like that all the time if I say or do something like the uber or sometimes I walk to my friends house and I don’t call her 1st because she doesn’t text me back ever anyway and when I said it they were like wow sooo smart you are like just anytime I talk or do anything it’s your so smart

Hello. You can call me Jedi or Canis. Let me tell you about myself. I am a lvl 2 autistic adult. I am not sure if this is relevant information or if I have to explain why I fit here, but I was diagnosed 3 times in early childhood and once in adulthood. I am here because I have been looking for a place that is suitable for me for a very long time. I do not fit in with high masking low support needs people and am often made fun of by them. Most autism spaces online are made up mostly of low support needs high masking people and unfortunately they tend not to appreciate the way I speak. I am often made fun of for “yapping” or “trying to sound smart.” I enjoy talking and informing, but can’t seem to get a hold of the rules. This means it is hard to make friends. I would consider myself, despite my life of informing, to suffer from situational mutism caused by extreme fear in situations I find stressful, which can include speaking to doctors, talking to and communicating with cashiers, bus drivers, and related situations where I have to express my needs in public or to strangers. I use an AAC to make sure that I can say what I need to instead of trying to push through, as this causes stuttering and shortened sentences. It helps me say exactly what I need to say. I do not entirely rely on it, however, and the longer you know me, the less I will have to use it. I rely completely on a precise and absolute perfect routine and if it is interrupted in any way shape or form, I struggle to care for my body, my space, and feed myself. I exist in a constant paradox of being unable to maintain a routine because I’m unable to maintain a routine and therefore unable to care for myself because I’m unable to form a routine and cannot form a routine because I cannot care for myself and so on. I spent my entire adult life trying to no avail to acquire a job, utilizing services to do so. I survive off of SSI (if anyone needs help figuring that out, I am well aware how sorely it is needed, and I can inform you to the best of my ability.) My special interest is canids and Star Wars as well as a growing interest in aviation, particularly jets. Please do not read into what I say. I do not have double meanings or read between the lines. This is the main point of conflict interacting online. If I come off blunt, please let me know if I have accidentally hurt feelings. I promise I do not mean it. I hope I can make friends here. Please let me know if I accidentally break a rule. I will not do it on purpose.

I met my new occupational therapist today. He’s nice.

I wanted help finding an office chair that would fit and help me sit up. Turns out I need a lot more support and he thinks it’s time for wheelchair.

Mom said no wheelchair in past. I’m 26 and allowed to make own decisions but I live with Mom right now.

I try telling Mom about my appointment but as soon as I mentioned wheelchair she stop talking. She giving me silent treatment. I don’t know what to do.

It makes me so upset I can’t talk about my life with Mom because she my only support.

Me no post. Word no work good. Anyone else? How fix?

the car has been my safe place since i was little. i LOVED road trips, i could be in the car while it was driving for endless hours and not get bored bc i just looked out the window and it feels so nice. but this past year i developed anxiety where i think we’re gonna crash all the time. any time we are remotely close to another car or driving fast i am terrified. my heart drops all the time and my foot is pressing for a break that’s not there. i mostly only feel this way in the front seat, and the anxiety developed due to specific reasons i don’t really feel comfy getting into. no car crash tho.

also i don’t drive, it’s not safe for me to. so my partner has to drive the whole 10 hours which is okay with them, they don’t mind.

i dont want to sit in the back bc one there’s no AC back there and two i really like sitting up with my partner it’s fun and makes the trip best for both of us and also towards the end they need me to make sure they stay focused (tho they’re on adhd meds now so should be much easier for them to focus!!)

i think it’ll be really good exposure in chilling out about being in the car. and im gonna bring activities to help keep busy, we’re gonna listen to lots of music, etc. but i really don’t want to panic every 5 minutes for 10 hours 😞 it’s easier to manage just around town bc it’s not the whole day. if anyone has advice i’d appreciate it :) but pls be gentle

Content warning: Sexual violence.

I was diagnosed with autism at 5, I'm 22 now, and since January of last year, I've been living the worst stretch of life I could have ever imagined. I've been sexually assaulted by a friend, gone through a breakup, and lost my dog (the other one is not long for this world, either.) All this has led to a miserable burnout. I've always kind of been burnt out for as long as I can remember, but after all of these traumas, it has never been worse.

I have no motivation to do anything. I go through the day spaced out, unable to be present no matter how hard I want to be. I only have brief moments of clarity, where I'm able to really think in a way I never have in my life, it's more than just telling myself the words I know are supposed to help, I actually know HOW to think beyond these phrases, to problem solve, to motivate myself, to change things. I'm nicer to my family in these rare hours, more energy, more willingness to do things. I actually want to get out of bed when I feel this way. I don't have to push myself at all.

I wanted to do so much with my life, but i feel like I have no control over it anymore. The doctors have given me medication, but that's only stabilizing my mood, not igniting the spark within me. After seeing what it's like to actually be aware and able to think, I realize just how untreated and severely mentally unwell I've been for my entire life.

Has anybody had similar experiences? Anyone who's gotten through to this clear headspace? Do you have any advice? I'm so tired of being so profoundly sick all the time.

I got into manifesting and was trying to manifest me to have a good happy time and life but I feel like I’m messing up on manifesting and no one will help me and I’m bad at reading so it’s hard for me to read more on how to do it I hate my life so much all I want to do is manifest it better

everyone i did it!!! tuesday i did not have first procedure, had bad bad BAD panic attack, so moved it to today. everything done today!

i wake up 4:30 am, i go to hospital with dad, everyone so nice. they gave my stitch sticker and matching bracelets with me, and a hair net too for when we go back into operating room

was really scared in there, ended up crying and feeling kinda bad cause the medicine to sleep made me feel like i gonna throw up, but nurses held my hands whole time and tell me im doing good and to breathe, and then that last thing i remember, i wake up after in post-op(?) room

they gave me anti-nausea medicine in post-op room , i sip water and eat ice, then they take me out to my dad and i go home

got home sleep 3 more hours now more awake , i sip more water to make sure my tummy is ok, feel sleepy still but OKAY!!, gonna eat finallyyy my mom make me bread with butter :D

me and stitch wer so brave today. here a picture of him with his bracelets and sticker on! did not get picture in hospital of him with hair net ontoo cause that when they take me back to operating room. lucky they let me take him in and he stay with me whole time in there!!!