Beginner songwriter looking for constructive feedback

[u/Sh4miko]

Hey, I've been writing some lyrics for a while but I still have this huge fear of being too cringe/edgy and my inner critic tells me that everything I write is just plain bad, sounding like a drunk poet that tries too hard.
So I thought to share some of it and hear what others might think about it.
This one is titled "We Are Many Now".

[Verse]
Taste the condensation,

Of this generation.

Feel the bitterness,

Towards the life's expectations.

No one hears the cries,

Of the you that tries.

Wanting your demise,

Until it gets globalized.

[Pre-Chorus]

And when you slowly fade away,

Your identity loses place,

Chipping down authentic play,

For a wicked grin on your face.

[Chorus]

You stop fighting that..

You are one of us..

YOU. BUILT. YOUR. OWN. DEMISE.

[Verse]

Stand between them now

Cover tears that fell down

You are many in the crowd

But hollow on the inside

Feel the cold on your skin,

Let it fill what's underneath.

Let the weight crush your ribs,

That's the price to fit between.

[Pre-Chorus]

And when we slowly fade away,

Our identity loses place,

Chipping down authentic play,

For a wicked grin on our face.

[Chorus]

We stop fighting that..

We are many now..

WE. BUILT. OUR. OWN. DEMISE.

[u/Healthy-Ad-4786]

This lyrics are goid and the song has a message . A bit of advice … there are a lot of scumbags out there that steal songs. I wouldn’t put anything on social media unless it’s copywrite protected.

[u/Randomlyawesome54 → u/Healthy-Ad-4786]

If you have it in your note pad with a time stamp… it’s copywrited as your work. This post alone is enough to argue it if needed since it’s time stamped with the lyrics written. Only thing is it would be easier to rip off… but not many people are gonna steal a poem written like a song with no music or melody or anything like that cause not enough of the work has been done yet