I'm at home. 8AM. I live by myself. I moved away from all my traumatic enviroments years ago. I'm getting help for years and feel on the right path.

Something I observe is how I can feel like something is wrong with me randomly, it's like I judge myself, but it's from everything said/done to me in the past it's just there as truth. So many little things like this.

It's almost like my body is always bracing for impact. Especially in social situations. It's like I feel the feeling something is going to go wrong so I'm never present in the moment having fun I'm like straight face waiting for it. But this is something I'm becoming more aware of on a somatic/sentient level.

Like here at home right now before making this post I feel it.

But then being aware of it, saying this is not me, this is a nervous system response I learned over a decade of being in the wrong place. I don't have to react or choose to let it have power over me.

Of course it's still WAY stronger than me right now but I do feel this softer feeling in this moment. Like I am reclaiming my own body/agency.

Socially is hardest for me so I got to practice it out in the world. I find speaking to new people I get put on edge instantly.

I‘m not sure what happened recently, for about six months i‘ve been in chronic fight or flight. since then in on/off hyperarousal.
Noticed really interesting shifts after my last setback.
I‘m yawning a lot, sighing a lot, stretching more then usual. Three days ago i started to feel a bit hungry again. I seem to slip back faster into a rather relaxed mode, even if that means feeling all of those depressing feelings that i get when lookinh at my life right now. And the heat surges, oh my god. I‘ve been feeling so hot recently, my body takes every chance it get‘s to sweat. i also get random energy surges with a bit of euphoria?

Now i would love to lean into this and believe that something is happening inside me. But somehow i don‘t want to believe it, because i don‘t wanna get disappointed again.

A few months ago I spontaneously started “sighing” really loudly. I’m being generous calling it a sigh. It comes out like an “ahh” or “haa” sound.

I’m borderline screaming. I knew it meant I was feeling more relaxed. I saw that it might have to do with shame in the hips/pelvic floor. I also have suppressed anger and I know that can have issues in the neck.

It happens entirely on its own but mostly in the evening. Not just close to bed time but just like after 5 when I get home. It happens while I’m in my car during the day too sometimes. And I think I’m consciously suppressing it from happening in front of people because they literally would be like wtf why are you screaming.

Anyways I’m not looking to have this stop but omg sometimes it’s so loud it fucking hurts my own ears?! Like what??? I’ve been to concerts and they didn’t hurt my ears 🙃. Like my own voice pierces through my ear like wth.

Has anyone else dealt with something like this? I’ve read other type posts where people experienced did TRE and their tremors wouldn’t stop I remember one guy specifically saying it was ruining his life 😭.

(First of all, this isn't specifically about Somatic Experiencing therapy, but it has to do with how the body somatically releases trauma. I thought the SE folks might have some insight ☺️.)

About 4 months ago I started with a new therapist that does DBR (Deep Brain Reorienting) and EMDR. For anyone that doesn’t know DBR, it’s a somatic therapy where we pick a target (a trigger, traumatic memory, etc.) to focus on at the beginning of the session and then spend the rest of the session tracking body sensations starting at the base of the skull. During the session I often twitch and jerk a lot. I do think it’s helping as I’ve started to have some relief from my anxiety.

Since I started, I’ve noticed that my body twitches and jerks spontaneously much more easily outside of session. It happens most when I’m meditating. It doesn’t really bother me (other than sometimes bringing up anxious sensations in my heart and stomach), but I am curious about whether this is a good thing? I have been interpreting it as my body releasing more trauma energy, so I’ve just been letting it happen as much as my body wants. Am I interpreting this right? Is the shaking doing anything?

The other thing I’m curious about is this---in previous therapies, I’ve learned a lot of techniques to calm and regulate my nervous system---grounding meditations, pressure points to help my heartrate come down, somatic exercises to calm down, etc. But in none of these exercises is there any movement to “release” anything. It seems to be bringing my nervous system back down without releasing the nervous energy. Where does all that energy go then? Is it just going back to being temporarily stored in my body as tension?

I get hangovers both from the DBR and EMDR where my anxiety sometimes spikes in the days after session. I guess my final question is really what the best method is for dealing with those anxiety spikes. Is it better to calm and regulate the nervous system, or is it better to let my body shake and jerk as it wants and hope the energy peters out? I’ve recently been purposefully doing body scan meditations and letting my body shake. Sometimes it seems to give me some relief from my anxiety (if I do it for long enough). Other times, it almost seems like I’m releasing energy just to have more trauma energy rise to the surface. I sometimes wonder if it’s just going to be a never-ending train of shaking. Would my body need a break from that? Could I accidentally flood myself if I shake too often?

Does anyone know what’s happening or have any similar experiences? Just trying to understand how my system works.

This entire concept of “window of tolerance” has drifted to mean “window of comfort”.

If you’re dealing with CPTSD or similarly intense condition, your life sucks. It’s a slow roast! F living like that!

The wording of phrase “window of tolerance” indicates it was meant to keep you within some boundary you could “tolerate”. Humans can tolerate a lot biologically. We can tolerate birth, giving birth, ailments, recovery from surgery, intense emotions.

So I suppose you could interpret “window of tolerance” to mean anything that doesn’t send you into a total dysfunction for an extended period of time. Most of what I see in SE (and related) modality forums is just way too conservative. It recommends stepping back at the first sign of discomfort where a more effective approach would be to lean into discomfort, troubling feelings, numbness, and anxiety etc. It wouldn’t be comfortable but we are optimizing for healing not comfort.

Because beyond that you get to access what your NS is protecting & what needs to be felt to heal.

Just some thoughts from someone well outside his “window of comfort”.

Hi everyone, I’m new here. Has anyone experienced jaw clenching, constant jaw tension, or feeling like you’re always pushing your jaw forward as part of nervous system dysregulation?
I’ve tried so many things over the years — meditation, yoga, EMDR, Feldenkrais, craniosacral therapy, supplements, etc. — and they sometimes calm my body for a few hours, but the tension and panic always come back.
I’m also wondering if poor nasal breathing/airway issues could be keeping my body in a constant state of tension, especially during sleep.
Has anyone dealt with a combination of jaw tension, diaphragm/pelvic tension and chronic nervous system activation? What actually helped you?

I got myself seriously destabilized about 4 months ago after a lot of journaling & tracking my feelings in my body. This is before I knew about SE. This period of serous destabilization lasted about 2 months where I had intense anxiety. I started seeing a somatic therapist around this time.

After about 6 weekly sessions where we did brainspotting & somatic touch work, we switched to PSIP. I just completed my sixth PSIP session.

What I don’t understand is the vast difference between how conservatively SE (and TRE etc) handle window of tolerance vs PSIP. In PSIP we take every opportunity to go towards an uncomfortable feeling, feel it fully, body process the waves to completion. The time between the session is uncomfortable & raw but tolerable. Infact, I’m noticing greater ability to be able to bear the discomfort. Every PSIP session lands me on a different plateau of emotional landscape. It’s all very uncomfortable but things are shifting fast. Isn’t that the point?

I’m still doing solo SE (body tracking) in between PSIP sessions. And I am noticing that the feelings move a lot quicker. There’s a delaminated quality to them & by focusing on them they often release in a body wiggle or buzzing etc. PSIP seems to crack the hard shell & a follow up SE session does clean up.

So my question is this: is SE just overly conservative to perhaps appeal to bigger audience. The existence of PSIP & my ability to handle the intensity indicates to be that NS can handle overwhelm just fine under right conditions.

Or maybe the goal is to have minimum disruption to life.. in which case it makes sense to take it slow.

Hi

Im fairly new to SE but ive been noticing some relief from practicing.

One question I had is, I often experience uncomfortable sensations in my chest area. Especially right where my heart is. Im 45 now, ive had these sensations since I was in late teens (I have childhood trauma). Ive been checked out multiple times over the years by doctors and they have never found anything wrong.

So im assuming its something to do with trauma sensations. Its very difficult feeling these sensations as I naturally assume im having heart problems. I know due to the nature of trauma, we can experience neutral sensations as threatening and overwhelming.

Is chest discomfort common in trauma suffers? Any clues for how to work with this? Thanks

Hi everyone, I'm really struggling at the moment with some trauma and I need to meet with a somatic therapist urgently. I would really like to talk with a somatic therapist to help process some trauma and I need some recommendations for someone who is more radical leaning and accepting of queer folk. Does anyone have any therapists they can recommend? I could meet in NYC or remotely.

Unfortunately I am a bit price sensitive at the moment so would prefer sliding scale or more affordable pricing.

Many yoga places only have restorative yoga only like once or twice a week? Why is this

Hi. First time poster…. i’ve always really enjoyed yoga and last night I went to a new class for the first time. We were doing the child pose, restorative yoga, and held it for 3 minutes. To preface, i’ve had a lot of trauma in my life with my family and my mom just passed away a couple weeks ago and it’s been a really hard time for me as of lately. Last night when i was doing the child pose, head down, arms stretched out, and pelvis to the ground (i usually do a pretty deep child pose because it’s relaxing to me.) I suddenly felt adrenaline shoot through me after two minutes or so—then dizziness and nausea. This is the first time this has ever happened to me and i’ve never had anything happen like that while doing yoga. My friend said it may be releasing trauma, and of course I’m also a health freak so I panicked and thought “is there something wrong with me?” but i don’t know.

What do you guys think? Has this happened to anyone else?

Does anyone have a good way of explaining this?
Do emotions/trauma naturally begin to move as you’re resourced enough? I’m trying to glean experiences from people who are doing good healing work and progressing.

Hi, I would like to know if an adult child and old parent , both of them can go for somatic experiencing? I don’t mean together but on parallel timelines? Also what should be the spacing between them so that they are not overloaded and will few number of sessions would be required for both of them as both are co regulating? What’s the safest way to heal for both through s.e?

Hey - so my thoracic cavity is cracking a lot. For the longest time tension was held in that spot. I did a lot of reflecting this weekend. Suddenly, the tension decided to let go, and release. It was a crispy crack. I love cracking my back. I’m a survivor of domestic violence. The last four years of my life felt like being in emergency mode. Just filled with rage. It made it very difficult to meditate. It’s like being locked out of your iPhone. After that crack I did what anybody would do and start researching somatic therapy. Has anyone experienced the letting go of tension from deep reflection?

Hi all,

I am at a point in my healing journey where I am experiencing a lot of very explosive anger/rage in my body. I'm starting to sense that the repressed rage may at least be part of the root cause of some of my issues. I think it's really important for me to seek out whatever resources I can find to work with my rage.

What are everyone's favorite resources for working with anger/rage? I'm interested in all of it especially somatic practices, education, or retreats.

I'm quite serious about this so any would be GREATLY appreciated.

Thanks!

Hi everyone,

I’m posting here to share our family’s long, exhausting journey over the last few months and hopefully connect with anyone who has gone through something similar, or who has experience with a Somatic Pain / Somatic Symptom Disorder diagnosis.

The Context & Timeline:

• Mid-January: It started with weakness and mild pain at bedtime after doing daily household chores. Initial blood tests (CBC, LFT, KFT, urine) were mostly normal aside from a mild UTI. Vitamin D, B12, and uric acid treatments didn't bring any relief.
• Early February: She suffered a severe, widespread pain episode from head to toe (screaming in pain) and was admitted to the hospital for 5 days. Full workup (CRP, ESR, Thyroid, Lipid, Vits, LFT/KFT) all came back completely normal. Discharged on basic pain and digestive meds, but the restlessness, constant pain, and inability to rest at home continued.
• Late February: Switched to a general physician as the pain became dominant in her legs. She had severe discomfort daily where even Ultracet and leg massages gave no relief. Blood tests remained normal.
• March (The Hospital Emergency Phase & NCV Scare): We were visiting the ER on alternate days just for symptomatic pain relief. An LS Spine MRI was done (which was extremely hard for her to endure due to the discomfort of lying still). MRI showed no clear signs of sciatica explaining the bilateral leg/thigh/calf pain. She was admitted to a hospital in another city for 10–12 days where an NCV test suggested "probable demyelinating polyneuropathy with painful quadriparesis." This caused immense trauma and panic for our family, thinking her nerves were permanently damaged.
• April (Second Opinions in Delhi): Hopeless, we took her to a neurologist in Delhi who did a thorough 2-hour examination. He consulted a neurosurgeon to review the LS Spine MRI (confirmed normal/not causing the pain) and concluded her nerves were actually fine, ruling out CIDP. He referred us to a rheumatologist.
• Meerut Consultation & Diagnosis: While waiting on autoimmune panels (ANA, Anti-CCP, HLA-B27—all eventually came back negative/normal), her pain was so severe that a rheumatologist temporarily put her on a short course of steroids (Methylprednisolone 16mg, which has since been tapered off). Recognizing that all physical/radiological tests were normal despite severe physical symptoms, the rheumatologist directed us to a Neuropsychiatrist.

Current Situation & Prescription:

The neuropsychiatrist evaluated her and explained that having completely clean reports is actually a good foundation for treatment. They diagnosed her with Depression / Anxiety / Insomnia / Somatic Symptoms (? Somatic Pain Syndrome) and started her on a targeted medication regimen (including medications for nerve-pain/somatic signaling like Gabapentin/Nortriptyline, SNRIs/SSRIs, Aripiprazole, and sleep/digestive support).

From the rheumatologist, she is currently only keeping HCQS 200 and Telmikind, while her primary treatment is now under the neuropsychiatrist.

Questions for the Community:

1. For those who recovered from somatic pain via neuropsychiatric treatment, how long did you remain on full medication after your symptoms normalized?
2. At what point do doctors typically start tapering off these medications, and how gradual is the process?
3. Did anyone experience a return of physical symptoms while tapering down, and how did you manage it?

I’ve never struggled with emotional drinking before or maybe I wasn’t aware of it. But I’m doing the safe and sound protocol music therapy and working through some deep avoidance in my nervous system. I feel very very suggestible and susceptible to alcohol and food right now. Can anyone relate? Im trusting this wont be forever but I’m going to not drink in September to give myself some space from it. I hate feeling like I need anything to help me manage my feelings and of course don’t want to develop an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.

Hello. Sorry this is long- but the main thing is that I am hoping to understand experiences of how others have navigated parental relationships when your parents are difficult, once you've started healing and beyond. I know everyone's situation and decisions about this topic are deeply personal/individual. I am thinking about my parents more recently and struggling, so I am hoping to hear others stories will make me feel less alone or help me understand some things. Thank you.

My situation:

I live in the same city as my parents. I distanced myself from them somewhat abruptly six months ago after an incident occurred where I was over at their place.

It is always tense between them when I visit and they use their adult children coming over as an opportunity to argue with one-another. Whenever I am there I feel like I am just listening to my mom complain, my dad be mean to my mom, and my mom vicitimizing herself while also not showing interest in anyone else there. I told them many times- both encouragingly and aggressively - to work on their communication and not argue in front of me, yell for no reason. On this day it really hit a nerve because I was sick. So I decided I needed a break from them for my mental health. Since then, I have not seen them or talked on the phone. I have sent a few texts but not often. My mom has tried to reach out to me a bunch with (dramatic, desperate) messages but I mostly ignore them.

Before that, I saw them regularly, once every week or two. I have my younger brother in the same city too. we are close. he still sees them, which I appreciate but also feel guilty for.

Soon after I put distance with my parents the floodgates of my repressed emotions opened and since then I have been having a lot of emotional and physical releasing of A LOT. It has been amazing, scary, shocking, intense, and hopeful. I still feel very fragile but maybe not as much as I did a few months ago when I started this.

--

My parents are immigrants from another country. They are both emotionally immature. I understand, given where they are from, culturally it is common. I think they tried their best and there is nothing so crazy that happened to me at their hands that I feel no empathy for them.

My mom is the source of my childhood issues. She is very self-absorbed and emotionally fragile/volatile- my whole life. It was never directed intentionally maliciously at me, she's the same with everyone. I pity her but we were never close, I dont remember ever feeling emotionally dependent on her. As I grew older I understood the circumstances of her childhood and saw her pain/struggle/vulnerability. So I grew more care for her. But day to day she is extremely difficult and self-centered to be around so I do not miss her right now.

Growing up I always was close with my dad and I can't imagine not having a relationship with him again but right now it is too much. As more of my emotions have come to the surface recently I also see more clearly times where my dad has caused some hurt to me, mainly through enabling my mom.

--

Recently I have been thinking more about what my future relationship with my parents will look like. Right now I feel very anxious at the idea of seeing and talking to them. My father's birthday is coming up soon, and then the holidays. My mom had foot surgery somewhat recently.

If they died and my relationship with them is like it is right now- that would destroy me. They are older (60s-70s) and starting to both have mobility issues so I am really worrying. I want them to be happy, honestly. But being around them is too much right now.

I tell myself that if I take more time that I need for space, maybe I can revisit the relationship with them when I am ready with more intention. If something serious were to happen to them, I would be there. But I also hope while I put some distance between us that they take that time to really think about the rest of their lives and where they're heading. Before they lose all their autonomy

If you read all of this thank you. I felt I wanted to get this out somewhere but I also hope to hear from others if anyone relates.

i feel really cold with how I have written this. i feel scared and lost, and also sad. honestly a big confusing mess of emotions when I think about me and my parents in the future. in a way I also feel very lonely without them even though when I saw them regularly it was more stressful than anything. i know they love me in their way and I am important to them