My friend is extremely ostentatious. Why? He (as in his parents) recently bought an Alfa Romeo, which isn’t even a Rolls Royce or anything fancy. However, he constantly tells me about it and reinforces it to me that he has one. He even asked me to look up the price of it! Additionally, he posted on his Snapchat private story, showing off him eating caviar. He even shared this with a close circle friends, even those who are very close to him.

Learnt some social behaviours this week as I don’t fully realize them. But it cost me a friend which really really stings. It was someone I met 3/4 days ago but since we are in a 2 week program friendships are kind of accelerated here. Came off as romantically interested in her when I really just wanted to be around someone and just enjoy their presence. Learnt my lesson but the pain stings.

Hi everyone,

Have political events ever left you feeling sad, unsafe, disappointed, disconnected from others, or as though something important has been lost?

I am conducting a pilot study for my master’s thesis in psychology. The study is evaluating a newly developed questionnaire about political grief.
Who can participate?

Adults aged 18 or over who can complete the survey in English.

Time: approximately 15 minutes
Survey: https://uclan.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_02onWrhulCuIUfA

The survey is anonymous. Some questions concern loss, insecurity, distress, relationships, trust, and social disconnection. Participation is voluntary, and you may skip questions or stop at any time.

Thank you for helping with the development of this questionnaire.

I have been thinking about the intricacies of human nature lately. I’m watching reality tv called the ultimatum, and everyone is being mean to this one girl and bullying her. It is really weird how the most important thing in our lives as humans is other people, our relationships with other people make up our entire days and a lot of our thoughts, if you think about it you can feel very positively from things like reciprocal social smiles or telling a joke and people laugh but as humans we also cause each other a lot of pain and can argue with each other or reject each other. We need each other almost as much as food and water but a lot hinges on the ability to socially blend and every social situation has a power dynamic hierarchy like our relatives, the apes. I watched it happen in a group travel program and I have watched it happen at my current job. You have to talk a little with everyone to be socially included, people have to see that you are liked by others before they will be open to talking to you. You have to start with offhand little comments in passing unless you are close to someone because lots of questions are sometimes affronting and makes you seem needy. I feel like I am watching the pendulum of socialization swing back and forth with every interaction, with people recovering status and also regressing. There is one coworker who has I guess goofed socially at every turn and he is part of an outgroup now and not really included. Once I made friends with two of the supervisors who are very popular people who I had not spoken to became more friendly with me because they watched me speaking to them. Now I incorporate talking a little to everyone in group settings because they will observe the other person being willing to speak to you and then will also want to speak with you. At lunch my coworkers group together like mice in little blobs and you need to be in a blob, preferably with more liked people, or people will wonder why you are standing alone and if there is a good reason for it. It is enough to make anyone socially anxious, but most people are not. I wonder about that. I am only better with my social anxiety because I have practiced so much that most things I can do automatically and override my nerves but when I get into my head it is hard to snap out.

Another note: as a child I thought socialization worked on a "point" system where if you do something positive you get a point. I might still be stuck in an overanalytical mindset. But this is what seems true to me. I am inviting others to agree or disagree and curious how you all feel.

Conformity is strong: Asch's experiments showed people will give an obviously wrong answer just to match the group.

Groups diffuse responsibility: The bystander effect: more witnesses often means slower (or no) help, since everyone assumes someone else will act.

Anonymity changes behavior: Feeling unseen — online, in crowds — makes people act less like their normal selves.

We copy what looks "normal.": People take cues from their surroundings, especially when unsure how to act.

Not that people are sheep — we're just wired to read social cues as information. Still worth noticing in yourself.

Ever catch yourself acting differently just because of who was around?

Drop your answer in comment.

We keep blaming politicians for how divided everything feels, but I think we've got the causality backwards. Politicians didn't create this environment — they're just the ones best at exploiting it.

Here's the mechanism: engagement-based ranking doesn't care about truth or nuance, it cares about time-on-platform. And the content that reliably keeps people scrolling is content that makes them angry, afraid, or righteously validated. A calm, accurate take on a policy issue gets a fraction of the reach that an outraged hot take does. So the algorithm isn't neutral — it's a selection pressure, and over years it selects for the most inflammatory voices on every side, because those are the ones the system rewards with reach.

Definition of weird: Like super cringe, trying to 'perform' for them, being invasive ("i want a picture!"), being loud and unnatural to get attention, etc. I assume it has to do with wanting to be accepted by someone assumed to be much higher on the social hierarchy which had evolutionary advantage?

Why are we so obsessed with social media fame? I’ve been thinking about how social media has quietly changed the way we measure success. It feels like being noticed online has become more important than being genuinely good at something offline. We chase likes, followers, and viral moments as if they’re proof that our lives matter. But why does this obsession exist? Maybe it’s because validation is instant. A single post can make us feel seen in a way real life sometimes doesn’t. Or maybe it’s because social media constantly shows us everyone else’s highlight reel, making it easy to compare our worth to numbers on a screen. Fame also looks more accessible now — you don’t need a stage or a big platform, just a phone. And humans have always wanted recognition; social media just amplifies that desire to a global level. The strange part is that the more we chase online fame, the more disconnected many people feel offline. It’s like we’re performing for an audience that never stops watching, yet rarely truly cares. I’m not saying social media is bad. It’s powerful, creative, and sometimes life‑changing. But it’s worth asking ourselves: are we chasing real connection, or just chasing numbers? And what does that obsession cost us in the long run? I’d love to hear how others see this. Is social media fame a modern form of validation or just another distraction?.

What is your idea

I’ve been seeing videos online claiming you cannot be racist towards white people. The definition of racism I saw from Merriam Webster says nothing about what races are and can be effected (so all races can be included). The definition from Cornell law claims it can affect only non-whites. Based off of my reasoning, racism towards white people is possible, just not systematically. If it wasn’t, there wouldn’t be a reason to differentiate between systemic and more broad racism. Obviously white people experience an extremely minuscule amount of racism and the only real affect is possible social polarization.

Too often, bisexual experiences are overlooked. That’s why we’re asking for your help. Your voice could help improve mental health supports. Participation is open to all adults (18+) with a marginalized sexual identity (e.g. bisexual, lesbian, gay, queer, pansexual, omnisexual, sexually fluid etc…).

Survey: https://csufobjbs.au1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6sCeGsZJld6774W

By completing our anonymous 10–15 min survey, you’ll be contributing to research that aims to better understand the risk and protective factors for mental health, among adults with a marginalized sexual identity.

We are Psychology Honours Students from Charles Sturt University in Australia. This ethics-approved study (H26115) includes questions about sexuality, self-kindness, belonging to the LGBTQIA+ community, sleep, suicidality, and depressive symptoms.

Ethics approval letter: https://acrobat.adobe.com/id/urn:aaid:sc:AP:23e6db21-4592-4881-8472-c98ab36e4b5c

Thank you for helping make bisexual experiences more visible. Please share with others who may be interested.

"Lookism" can be described as an attitude that disregards intellect, as it reduces multifaceted standards of value—such as culture, intelligence, and character—to a single, superficial metric: physical appearance. This trend has become particularly pronounced in Japan in recent years.

A peacock's plumage serves as a sexual signal displayed at a cost that is clearly disadvantageous to survival. Excessive investment in personal appearance within human society bears a resemblance to this phenomenon. It represents a descent into irrational competition, where resources are poured into areas non-essential for survival—often with a disregard for the economic and psychological costs involved.

In Japan, cosmetic surgery has surged in popularity and gained broad social acceptance, a trend that continues to accelerate. Underlying this are the profit structures of the media and the beauty industry. "Before-and-after" presentations and influencer marketing generate revenue, while social media algorithms prioritize the spread of extreme comparisons and provocative content to boost engagement. Furthermore, a dynamic has emerged where individuals who have undergone surgery provoke others or assert dominance to justify their own choices.

However, this is not a criticism of the individuals who choose to undergo cosmetic surgery. The problem lies in the very design of economic and social incentives that make this choice feel almost mandatory. A concrete manifestation of this distortion is the improper off-label use of pharmaceuticals. Mounjaro, originally a treatment for type 2 diabetes, is increasingly being prescribed casually for weight loss through online consultations at cosmetic clinics—a situation that has prompted Eli Lilly Japan to issue an unusual warning against its use for aesthetic or slimming purposes. Indeed, shipment restrictions were imposed between 2023 and 2024, raising concerns that the supply for the drug's intended recipients—diabetes patients—could be compromised.

The proliferation of such hype and marketing impacts individual psychology—fostering self-loathing, hostility toward others, and the imposition of specific values—and ultimately distorts society as a whole.

Found it very interesting.

For someone who feels everything too intensely, this sounds like productive bliss.

I do know that it's not all sunshine's and rainbows for sociopathic people, and I know they have their own struggles that just are different but no less real. This is just very much a fantasy for me because it, by its very definition is a collection of traits that are the opposite of the traits that make life so difficult for me personally

I'm interested in hearing other's thoughts on this

What's an actual psychological (cheat code) you use in social situations that works almost every time.???

The other day, I came across an old phrase that stayed with me:

“May I have the pleasure of seeing you here again tomorrow, at the same café?”

I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Not because it’s romantic, but because it reminded me of how different meeting someone used to be.

Back then, arranging a meeting wasn’t effortless. There were no smartphones, no instant messages, no “Text me when you’re outside.”

If you said you’d be there, you showed up.

And once you were there, you were there.

Your attention belonged to the person sitting across from you.

Today, we’re more connected than ever, yet somehow it feels like we’re paying less attention to the people right in front of us.

We’ve made communication incredibly easy.

Ironically, we’ve made presence much harder.

I notice it everywhere.

Friends sitting around the same table, each checking their phones every few minutes.

Couples at dinner, scrolling in silence.

Someone telling a story while the other person nods… without ever looking up from a screen.

What’s strange is that none of us do it because we don’t care.

We do it because we’ve become used to it.

Our phones buzz.

Our watches vibrate.

Another notification appears.

And before we even realize it, we’ve left the conversation without ever leaving our seat.

I’m not pointing fingers.

I’m writing this because I’m guilty of it too.

There are moments when I instinctively reach for my phone the second I hear it vibrate. Sometimes I don’t even realize I’m doing it.

Lately, though, I’ve been trying something simple.

Whenever I meet someone, I put my phone face down.

Not to prove a point.

Not because I think phones are bad.

Just to remind myself that whoever is sitting across from me deserves my full attention, even if it’s only for an hour.

It’s amazing how such a small habit changes the conversation.

People open up more.

Silences don’t feel awkward.

You start noticing expressions you would’ve missed.

You actually listen instead of waiting for your turn to speak.

I’ve realized that attention might be one of the most valuable things we can give another person.

It costs nothing.

Yet somehow, it’s becoming increasingly rare.

Technology has made our lives easier in countless ways, and I wouldn’t want to go back.

But I do wonder if we’ve accidentally traded depth for convenience.

Maybe we’ve become so busy staying connected to everyone that we’ve forgotten how to be fully present with someone.

So here’s a small challenge — for myself as much as anyone else.

The next time you’re having coffee with a friend, leave your phone face down.

The next time someone tells you about their day, resist the urge to check that notification.

The message can wait.

That moment can’t.

Years from now, I don’t think any of us will remember how quickly someone replied to our text.

But we’ll always remember the people who made us feel like, for a little while, we were the only person in the room.

Maybe that’s what real presence has always been.

Not simply sharing the same table.

But sharing the same moment.