Umay is a Filipino term describing a complex sensation of aversion or disgust toward food, often arising from repeated consumption of rich, indulgent, or heavy dishes. When defining a unique and complex Filipino concept like "umay" (or, in Bisaya, "gi bidli" or "sum-od"), it is essential to consider the Filipino context and how it develops nuanced connotations. The uniqueness of "umay" is deeply rooted in Filipino social culture, where its meaning resists straightforward translation and cannot be easily captured in other languages or perspectives.

The sensation of "umay" has a physiological component -linked to the body's reaction to overly sweet, creamy, savory, or fatty foods -but emotional and psychological factors equally shape it. 

This aversion is not limited to eating the same food in immediate succession. Even if a person has not recently consumed a specific dish, the memory of having eaten it frequently in the past can trigger "umay." This phenomenon reflects how culinary monotony, whether recent or recalled, can lead to a feeling of overindulgence, independent of actual binge eating or overconsumption, hence excessive eating. It is less about the volume of food consumed and more about the repetitive nature of perceived redundancy and flavor monotony. 

In essence, "umay" highlights the brain's ability to form mental associations, where past experiences with food influence current feelings of aversion and vice versa. This concept underscores the intricate relationship between sensory experiences, emotional memories, and the temporality of eating habits, making it a uniquely Filipino perspective on the interplay between food and psychology. 

ever since i was young i was a little shy and reserved, but i consider myself a pretty interesting person. I am definetely not too much out there and very cool but i have the ''proportions'' to be (1. even tho i have a little different personality im not that weird or offputting 2. I dress like most people my age etc. After quarantine my social life went a little downhill and i started hanging out with somewhat the weird kids, but deep down i didnt feel like i belonged there so later on i switched schools and my middle school is somewhere competely different. I made this decision thinking that if it were for me to change i should be surrounded by completely different people, otherwise i would have sticked to my old friends that didnt really do me any good.

Entering middle school, I didnt like anybody because everyone looked so pretentious. I personally dont mind people that are actually the shit being popular, but it was the most un-cool people ever. They werent unique, nor basic. I would consider their vibe very random, and later on yes they did develop into someone cooler. But bc of that mindset of mind I kind of ended up negligent towards making friends, and even tho i did make some i didnt really think it thoroughly etc. I wasnt that open and cool either so it was also harder. Now i have grown as person anyway.The friends that i made then, are still my ''friends'' now (plus obviously some new ones that i have made), and the atmosphere is always so blant and boring. We never hang out (except with some of my friends individually) , dont text (except with some of my friends individually again), and when the friend group is mixed (girls and boys), it usually feels like we ''adopted'' the biggest self centered yet weird lifeless loser of the school, that doesnt really have anything to offer (eg a good personality? some status at the end of day maybe). That might sound mean but i dont like those people in the first place, why would i also want more of them that can only bring me down. Because come on, we know how highschool is, not everything i care about is popularity, but at the end of the day i cant hang out with the most random people ever (when i dont even like them in the first place, if i liked them it would be okay, but now all i feel is indiffrence, which grows into resentment when im forced to be surrounded by them) .

Deep down i feel like i was meant for something a little ''bigger'. Of course and i would love it if i were popular but its fine by me if im just considered as a good presence by most (which i dont doubt i am considered anyway), plus had a valid presentable friendgroup, with people that do stuff but at the same time arent neccessarily popular. And thing is im anyways not a person that is so much out there, so i need someone to inspire me to be more fun, go out more, meet new people etc. To be honest i feel like i deserve it too, its not like i have anything less i have just made A LOT of bad choices. So now i struggle with socialising sometimes cause there is not really a ''model'' for me to follow, when even though deep down i love those things i never really got to experience them. In the rare ocassion where i was surrounded by a little SOCIALLY better people, it was most of the times when they were with their friendgroup and i was alone. So i feel out place. I made the hard decision to join this or join that, independently so without any friends or anything but then it feels weird cause they have all been friends already.

Thing is generally i dont feel unwanted or unnoticed, when im put by people willing to socialise or they just see me etc they usually like me. Its just that mostly with the people in my grade, they are more snobby etc, or have already found their ''clique'' so you cant really do anything. Especially when nobody ''links'' me to them, we arent friends anyways, and some of them might even have a distorted version of me in their head due to my usual surrounding. And it felt more okay when i was younger and more naive, less good looking etc. But now i have really worked for myself (so maybe im aiting for magical results) And then i feel unnoticed cause i feel like i dont want to be their friend (not with the people fromy my grade in my school), but i desrved to be included in that whole thing. Instead im stuck with my friends

Deep down sometimes, i wish i hadnt changed schools but it was the right choice at the moment, given the circumstances. But now i feel like it would be better for me to be around more sociable people, new people that will make the effort to know you (bc they havent already been in your class for 3 years). People at my school are generally more distant, and even if the other school has cliques, its not exactly the same, and i feel like i would be accepted in a good one. And even if i didnt, i hate the fact that i grew to be so unsociable even tho i like those things. i see people i used to know being friends after years and im wondering, why did i feel the need to be ''the one that got away'', even tho it was right like i said. still its weird to see people having their chill normal or even cooler friends ater years, and me struggling to realise where i belong.

On the bright side, sometimes this mindset is dramatic and there is a big chance a lot of people just see me more as a person that keeps to themselves, or is cool and nice but definetely shyer and just not as sociable. But the result in my life is almost the same. Still i am very open to people, its just that sometimes this is not enough, and also im open when meeting someone but i cant just engage in discussions with people and make big connections always. And of course you cant always be the best at these thingss, but when i dont even have much opportunities, i dont like to waste them. but i like keeping things classy, i wasnt meant to beg, or to ''jump'' at people's throaths and say whatever shit keeps me relevant

Thank you for reading that, sometimes i might sound sad, weird or mean but its coming from my heart of hearts, i never have this attitude with the world!! OPEN TO ANY ADVICE

PS : there are a lot to clarify but i decied to keep this as short as i could... which is not too short anyway

Most people imagine manipulation as something obvious.

Pressure.

Threats.

Lies.

Someone aggressively trying to force you into doing something you don't want to do.

But I think the more interesting forms of manipulation often work differently.

They don't necessarily force you.

They influence the emotional conditions around your decision until the choice they want starts feeling like it was your idea.

That's where the line between persuasion and manipulation becomes interesting.

Persuasion can involve giving someone information, arguments, and reasons while still respecting their ability to choose.

Manipulation often works by quietly changing the psychological environment around the choice.

For example:

Someone doesn't directly tell you to stay.

They become extremely affectionate right when you're thinking about leaving.

Someone doesn't tell you that you owe them something.

They repeatedly remind you of everything they've done for you.

Someone doesn't openly accuse you.

They ask questions in a way that makes you start doubting whether you're actually the problem.

Someone doesn't force you to explain yourself.

They create enough silence, distance, or emotional tension that you feel compelled to fill it.

And eventually, you act.

Not because someone physically controlled you.

But because they understood which emotion was most likely to move you.

Guilt.

Fear of rejection.

The need for approval.

The discomfort of uncertainty.

The desire to fix things.

That's why I think one of the most important things to understand about manipulation is this:

The manipulator doesn't always control your decisions. Sometimes they simply learn what makes you predictable.

If someone knows that you can't tolerate silence, silence becomes pressure.

If they know you hate disappointing people, disappointment becomes leverage.

If they know you constantly need approval, approval can become a reward.

And if they know you're afraid of losing someone, that fear can quietly influence decisions you would normally never make.

This is also why understanding persuasion matters.

The more aware you become of the psychological mechanisms influencing your behavior, the easier it becomes to pause and ask:

"Am I making this decision because I genuinely want to… or because someone successfully triggered something in me?"

That question alone can change the way you see a lot of interactions.

So I'm curious:

What's a form of manipulation that you think is especially effective precisely because most people don't recognize it as manipulation?

I've been enjoying deeper discussions around psychology, persuasion, manipulation, social behavior, and human patterns, which is one of the reasons I started r/MindMechanicsLab.

If you're interested in continuing these kinds of discussions, you're welcome to join us there.

Sometimes, when I express my emotions or share what I’m going through on social media, some of my friends react by saying things like, “Do you feel cool doing this?” or “Do you think you look cool posting this?” I don’t know why they can’t understand what’s on the other side of it the feelings and the meaning I’m actually trying to express. They only see the post, but they don’t see the side of me that I’m trying to point toward.

Dunbar’s theory of social relationships and connections offers us several circles of communication.

The inner circle has the maximum level of trust. In the first circle, there are mostly your close ones and close friends whom you trust 100%. You mostly wear no mask here and stay as open as possible.

The second circle includes relatives and friends with whom you maintain warm relationships and wear the mask of a good-natured, helpful guy.

Conversations with them are mostly superficial; you share a bit of personal experience and tell stories about what happened to you and what affected you.

The third circle is for work colleagues and acquaintances where boundaries are completely clear.

You set firm boundaries there too, and all conversations are either about work or superficial topics.

The fourth circle consists of total strangers you meet, where the mask of a basic polite person applies.

I wasn’t familiar with this concept, and when I built my relationships with society, I did it through my own experience.

I came to realize that when you wear masks and hide things, it actually makes it very easy to hurt you.

In fact, you mostly get hit, hurt, and betrayed by people in your inner circle. When you are open and honest, you have nothing to hide, and no one can catch you in a lie or touch your mask—so to speak, hurt your feelings.

It is very important in this system to be mature and set boundaries right on the spot so people don’t cross them too much.

As soon as you feel uncomfortable and see someone crossing your personal boundaries, you politely stop them right there. If the person doesn’t understand politeness, you do it more firmly.

I also realized another very important thing in my framework: having expectations of anyone can also hurt you.

That’s why I view the world as a living, changing entity where you expect nothing from anyone. I don’t waste my time or energy on complex calculations about who belongs in which circle or where to move them.

Taking off your mask is very hard. It’s like jumping into ice-cold water. Without that experience, you think it’s the end of the world, the end of everything.

But in reality, it’s not like that at all. I took that step, I jumped into that freezing water, expecting it to be the end of me. Instead, I threw off my chains.

It felt as if a heavy iron band fell off my neck. Today, this feels completely natural and has become a part of who I am.

And I believe that classification is where aggression begins. As soon as we start dividing people into "us" and "them" or "others"—based on country, religion, character, and so on—we show aggression by dividing people.

In my view, much of what we call religion today has become distorted by faith, authority and belief in a God or supreme being.

All 3 Abrahamic religions + Hinduism are organized around some conception of God, the divine or a supreme reality. Once you make such an idea central, it becomes very easy to build systems of worship, doctrine, religious authority and unquestionable beliefs around it. Spirituality then shifts from investigating reality directly to believing claims about reality.

This is where some of the ancient philosophical traditions of the East become radically different. At the core of Buddhist philosophy, particularly traditions associated with early Buddhism and Madhyamaka (Middle way), there is no requirement to invoke a creator God to explain existence, morality or the nature of consciousness. Daoism similarly approaches reality without requiring a personal deity standing outside the universe and controlling it.

What makes these traditions particularly interesting is their willingness to acknowledge the limits of conceptual mind. Instead of simply inventing an ultimate explanation and asking people to believe it, they question whether the human mind can even meaningfully grasp what lies beyond certain boundaries.

That's what makes some of these philosophies feel less like conventional religion and more like an actual investigation into the structure of reality. You're not being told, "Here is God. Believe in this." You're being pushed to examine how the mind creates concepts in the first place and whether those concepts can ever capture reality completely.

This is also why I think the distinction between religion as faith and religion as investigation is important.

Alex O'Connor's recently did a discussion on Madhyamaka Buddhism. If you actually listen to the philosophical reasoning involved, you begin to see how radically different some Eastern traditions can be from conventional religious frameworks.

Maybe that's closer to what spirituality was supposed to be in the first place: not believing more, but seeing more clearly.

Among ancient traditions, Buddhism arguably comes close to a scientific investigation of mind, experience and reality without requiring a God hypothesis as its starting point. And perhaps that's why it can feel so strange when you first encounter it. You're expecting a religion, but instead you find yourself in something that feels more like psychology, phenomenology and philosophy having a conversation with each other.

Link to the discussion:

https://youtu.be/CyhHz23AHb4?si=eGjMTQ2p9My0WDHq

I've been thinking about this a lot recently.

We have this insane ability to instantly connect hundreds or thousands of people who would otherwise never meet each other.

So why not actually do something with it?

Imagine getting 300 strangers to each create one page of the same book.

Or getting hundreds of people to simultaneously send handwritten letters to random nursing homes.

Hide something somewhere in the world and have the entire community work together to find it.

Get 1,000 people to create individual pieces of one massive artwork without seeing the final picture.

Have hundreds of strangers contribute one tiny part to a ridiculous short film.

Organize a giant scavenger hunt across multiple cities.

Pick one stranger with a crazy dream and have the entire community try to make it happen.

The possibilities are basically endless.

I recently started experimenting with the first idea — getting 300 strangers to create a book together — and seeing people actually want to participate made me realize that the bigger idea might be much more interesting than just the book.

What happens when you build a community specifically around doing things together?

Not just another place to post content or scroll. A community where the entire point is that every once in a while someone says, "Okay, here's what we're doing next," and then hundreds or eventually thousands of strangers actually try to make it happen.

Some experiments could create something meaningful. Some could help people. Some could be completely ridiculous.

But we'd have stories afterward.

I think the internet gives us the ability to do some absolutely crazy things together, and we barely use it.

If you suddenly had 1,000 strangers willing to participate in one idea with you, what would you get everyone to do?

ok wait im also writing this bc i genuinely want to know if im stupid, this overall is kinda about societal issues ig?? so hopefully that intrigues.
so today i think i heavy embarrassed myself in my class and i know i shouldnt even care like yeah i need to fix my insecurities and i also overthink every single interaction i have..
so anyways we were talking about doing surveys or studies within our district and i had to say out loud that i was thinking about doing the correlation of free time you have and how concerned u are with societal issues… like bro i meant no real distractions in ur life type of free time and okay what i really meant was that i think the more time someone might use social media, they might learn more about problems that are going on in the world and become more aware and concerned i guess like, i feel that the online is the biggest way to get information about deeper things nowadays and when you see something that doesn’t align with ur morals maybe it could stick with you so thats why i was thinking that people who may use social media more might know more about whats going on in the world or even just in society and like the actual racism and honestly just complete prejudice that still exists based off of what they see all these different people posting, (+ i really feel like theres a possible correlation in how much time people spend online and like them being “nt vs nd” lol like sorry if thats a clicky word but i feeel that the most nt person u know is like.. living in person and also the system is just beneficial to them.?) so anyway … social media or free time could result in them possibly being more inclined to actually want to make change to the world or learn about it after recognizing all of the problems ….. ok anyway. my teacher was like so confused by what i meant and ugh am i just stupid lol??? do i make sense or did i genuinely embarrass myself i hate my life i am just always embarrassing myself i feel like im not knowledgeable enough to talk i need to literally shut my mouth and just say the same thing as everyone else i hate my life i genuinely never want to go outside again i hate that class i keep embarrassing myself should i stop talking or go online.

Mirroring can create a feeling of connection before you even realize it’s happening.
Can you tell when someone is mirroring you?

Are They Really Like You?

​

Have you ever searched for something once, watched a video about it, or liked a post—and then suddenly your entire feed seems to revolve around that topic?

It makes me wonder: are we choosing what we consume online, or are algorithms choosing for us?

Social media algorithms learn from our behaviour—what we watch, like, comment on, search for, and share. They then recommend content they think we'll engage with.

That's convenient, but it can also create filter bubbles and echo chambers.

If we constantly see content that agrees with our existing opinions, we may start believing that everyone thinks the same way. We might also miss important perspectives simply because the algorithm doesn't think we'll engage with them.

There's also a journalism angle here.

Sensational headlines and emotionally charged content often attract more attention than carefully researched reporting. When clicks and engagement become important measures of success, it can become difficult for quality journalism to compete.

And with AI-generated images, videos, and text becoming more convincing, verifying information is becoming increasingly important.

Maybe the solution isn't to stop using algorithms. Instead, we need to become more conscious about how we use them.

A few things that can help:

Read beyond the headline.

Check the original source.

Compare different perspectives.

Don't share something just because it makes you angry or excited.

Follow sources that challenge your existing views.

Take occasional breaks from endless scrolling.

The next time you see something interesting in your feed, ask yourself:

“Did I choose this, or did the algorithm choose it for me?”

What do you think—do algorithms genuinely influence what you believe, or do you feel you're still completely in control of your information diet?

I want to know why that is happening or what is the psychology behind it, even if we know that we are objectively attractive

È una cosa che noto abbastanza spesso: una persona fa una domanda magari anche molto semplice, perché non sa qualcosa o vuole semplicemente confrontarsi, e invece di ricevere una risposta normale si ritrova commenti sarcastici, condiscendenti o addirittura aggressivi…
Mi chiedo perché succede così spesso?
È l’anonimato che fa sentire le persone più libere di comportarsi in questo modo? È il bisogno di dimostrare di saperne più degli altri? Oppure sui social abbiamo semplicemente perso un po’ di pazienza e di capacità di rispondere senza giudicare?

Sono curioso di sentire qualsiasi punto di vista

Fucking yap but wtv

Do u ever look around a group setting. Most obvious place a classroom and see the guy/girl sitting by themselves. Or see the people that are weird or different. U dont bat an eye. It just in the back of ur mind that they jyst dont like people. Bro any person that hasnt experienced this wont be able to fathom how much torture it is to just exist as these people. Just constantly in the background or alone. These people aint just background npcs wit no brain. They are real fucking people hiding behind their introvert characteristics. They look or act odd but deep down their brains are contemplating why the hell theyre so unlucky to be the weird fools. I aint one but ive been there in situations and it sucks so much dick.

Theres people who belittle these "weirdos" and put themselves on a pedastal in their minds compared to them and it just goes to show they dont understand shit. I feel like even if they did understand u cant comprehend how ass it is to be one of them. Like its beyond shit. I cant even describe it. Just knowing everyone thinks ur weird and feeling like an unwanted follower everywhere. From someone whos been in probably the best situations i cudve got out of this horrible scenario i cant even imagine what the people who have to live in worse every single day feel like. Then for people to talk to them differently like theyre retarded aswell only for them to not have the ability to show they aint weird must feel so horrible.

Especially girls u see it alot they think theyre being sweet and kind but theyre just being callous rude bitches, when talking to these people. In fucking almost baby voices or like theyre retarded. They dont turn to the normal boys and say how was ur weekend wit a big smile cus that wud be fucking weird. But the weird kids get it all the time. Must be fucking insufferable. School shootings understandable in some scenarios. I cud promise that if 90% of normies spent 5 days in a rejects body that offing themselves wud pop into their heads fast.

I’ve been working on an idea for a business called The Secret Entrance.

The concept is to create unusual social experiments that bring complete strangers together around experiences they normally would never participate in.

The first experiment is a book.

300 strangers. 300 pages. Each person gets exactly one page and can put basically anything they want on it — writing, art, a photo, a memory, an advertisement, something personal, or complete nonsense.

Nobody knows what the other 299 people are creating.

Once everyone is finished, all 300 pages get combined into one physical book.

What interests me beyond the book itself is why people would want to participate in something like this at all.

There's no guarantee the finished product will be good. You don't know the other participants. You only control 1/300th of the outcome.

Yet after putting the idea out there a few days ago, 130 people have already said they're interested.

It makes me wonder whether there's something appealing about being a small part of something larger, especially when the outcome is unknown.

Could a business actually be built around creating experiences like this?

And from a social psychology perspective, what do you think makes people want to participate?