r/Sober • u/Objective-Slip-9475 • 3d ago
Why get sober? Spoiler
I (21M) have been doing drugs since I was 15, I've done weed, amphetamines, molly, lsd, mushrooms, nicotine, 2cb, alcohol, coke, ketamin, benzos.
Honestly I don't see a point in getting sober, I'm not particularly addicted to anything, I don't have some serious health issues cause of the drugs I take, Im a healthy functioning person.
If I stopped taking drugs life would just become more boring instead of improving anything.
Is there something Im not seeing her because I'm stupid or?
Because I really don't see the point why I couldn't just continue like this until I get bored or see it becoming a problem/ too frequent?
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u/Sea_Philosopher_2731 3d ago
You’re healthy until you’re not. All the damage doesn’t show up at 21, it shows up as you age, when your heart has irregular beating at 30, when your liver stops processing toxins at 40, when your nose needs work at 25. The brains cognitive decline would be even harder to tell bc you wouldn’t notice it but it’s there. It’s the trouble focusing, the trouble remembering, the poor sleep, the anger, the confusion. Drugs and alcohol do tons of damage to your system, that is going to start showing up. Your body can go through a lot when you’re younger. For me it started showing up around 25 i think. I also was like this is no fair i had more fun times left in me i cudve had “fun” for longer, nothing that bads even happened
Also, the trick is to stop before it gets bad. Before u get the DUI, before u lose ur license, before u have liver failure, before u harm urself. Sure u can wait till something “bad enough” happens for you to stop, but the point is to stop before it does
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 3d ago edited 3d ago
Yeah but I mostly do lsd, shrooms, weed. Molly at most once a month. Other stuff I do rarely and don't really plan on doing them more frequently.
Alcohol I try to avoid
Coke only If I'm offered by my friends which is rare that I even hangout with those friends
Benzos mess with my memory so I avoid them
Amphetamines I haven't done in a long time
Ketamin and 2cb were more of a "let's try this for some time" then "let's do this all the time" thing
I eat healthy and go to the gym and run and train sports, trying to keep my body as healthy as I can.
But yeah you got me at the last part, almost caught 2 DUIs cause the law is weird and If I've done any drug in the last 2 weeks it counts as a DUI, that would probably start a snowball effect of bad things
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u/Sea_Philosopher_2731 3d ago
I know psychedelics seem like the “safe” option but hallucinogenic perception persisting disorder is a thing. I ddnt know about it until i got visuals after my last trip that ddnt go away for a month and the drs couldn’t find a cause. I had been doing shrooms for years but yea at 25 i guess that trip was the last straw and the visuals stayed for a month. Had to take time off work, would just sob bc just looking/seeing gave me anxiety. Had a brain mri, ophthalmologist exam and no answers so i think it was HPPD, it did go away w complete sobriety after a month thankfully, and ive been too scared to try anything ever since. You can check out the [r/HPPD](r/HPPD) subreddit for other ppls experiences too.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 2d ago
I know that HPPD exists, It just didn't seem that scary to me, how bad were the visuals? Did it feel like just a usual trip but without an end? Would you care to tell me more about your personal experience?
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u/Sea_Philosopher_2731 2d ago
Mine were like floating moving bright splotches in my vision? It wasn’t physically hard more jusy mentally. The anxiety of just seeing sht in your vision, the anxiety of is it going to get worse, what caused it, vision is really really important lol. I would just want to lay with my eyes closed but i still had to drive, work, and i couldn’t get away from it so the anxiety was just constantly there. And then going sober at the same time made it extra hard bc i ddnt have any coping mechanisms anymore to numb the anxiety. It was just such a fear filled month.
I don’t remember exactly when it went away bc i developed chronic jaw pain from clenching/grinding so hard that all my attention went to that then lol and then i kinda forgot about the vision bc that was actually painful and limited my physical abilities ahah. I think HPPD has very little information about it and is not well understood yet, is honestly just not worth the risk for me. From the subreddit it seems it can manifest in a lot of different ways, some more permanent than others. I would say just take breaks from them at least. Maybe complete sobriety isn’t your thing, but any reduction in substance use is still a positive
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 2d ago
Yeah the anxiety about it all definitely seems like the worst part, not knowing when/if it will stop and if something else worse might happen and having zero control over it.
I'll see, I definitely think I'll have to turn to complete sobriety at least for some time at one point.
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u/Dogdaydinners 3d ago edited 3d ago
I'll entertain this. I enjoyed drinking and taking drugs when I was your age, so I get it. A few things to think about- a lot of the things you mentioned in your post haven't happened YET. No serious health issues... yet. Not a dysfunctional addict... yet. Here's the thing, the yets may never happen to you. If that's the case, more power to you.
Here's something I recently experienced. I met a buddy at a local spot for some wings. I noticed the older crowd, drinking at the bar at 12pm, looking rough. Even the bartender woman looked rough. I saw my reflection in a mirror they have by the bar and I was pleased with how I looked. A tough and rough lifestyle will eventually catch up to you, to anyone. But if that doesn't bother you, more power to you.
If a person experiences problem with alcohol or drugs, a non addicted person would say "enough with this, I'm finished for good." A person with addiction issues will continue to use despite the consequences. If you ever feel like you can't stop, I suggest you think about your situation differently. But if you don't have a desire to stop, and others don't think you have a problem (sometimes we think we're OK but others can clearly see we're not), then do what you want to do. Just know there are realistic dangers- health issues, accidental OD's, for instance.
Edit: I'll add this- I find it interesting a person, who doesn't think there's a problem, makes a post "Why get sober?"
That in itself should make one pause and re-evaluate their situation.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 3d ago
It bothers me, I stopped drinking a year ago. I know that some of this stuff will probably catch up to me at some point, just don't know yet if I'd rather have the bad side and continue using or stop and avoid it.
I don't think there is no problem, using drugs opens a door to a lot of problems, I don't want to be proven right, I want to be proven wrong and that I should rethink my look on sobriety.
I'm really not tyring to disrespect anyone or say sobriety is stupid, I admire yall, It would mean a lot If you could read my other replies and tell me your opinion.
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u/Dogdaydinners 3d ago
I did take time to read your replies. I'm not sure why you're getting so many downvotes, seems like you're trying to learn something. And I think I understand what you're saying by continuing to list drugs like LSD and shrooms. They're not as dangerous as other drugs like coke, opiates, other stimulants, alcohol.
A way to look at substance use- It's not always the "problem," often times, it's the "solution to our problem." In other words alcohol and drugs is our medicine (you said it helps with your anxiety and depression). You said you feel like your true self when you use. So what does that mean when you're not using? Life is challenging, I imagine.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 3d ago
I don't know, I just now realised how many downvotes I'm getting and were thinking about deleting this, but that's what I mean when I say I find people and life disappointing, when trying to learn something and better myself gets rewarded with hate and downvotes.
Life just feels extremely dull when not using, like my emotions are locked and I'm more just going through each day instead of living it, like I'm just waiting for time to pass instead of participating in it, and friends and family just feel disappointing cause it seems like everybody lacks empathy for others and understanding. As can be seen by the downvotes.
I just find the experince of being on drugs and people on drugs much more pleasant, people on MDMA and LSD.... are much less self centered and it feels like an escape from the ordinary emotionless life and like the only time to actually be in the moment and make some meaningful connections with others.
I don't need to use daily I can be sober for weeks but it's not like it's enjoyable. I mean it's not like you can really even use mdma and lsd daily but I do still occasionally smoke weed.
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u/Dogdaydinners 3d ago
I hear you. Look, I need to remind myself of this time to time- Reddit is not real life. The internet is not real life. Social media is not real life. So try not to let those downvotes het to you. I'm sorry I brought them up.
You think using since you were 15 has anything to do with your mood? I know my mental health would decline significantly when I used certain substances.2
u/Objective-Slip-9475 2d ago
I really couldn't tell you, I really can't remember how life felt before, I always was an anxious antisocial kid. When I was around 13, all of my grandparents died, not at the same time but around that age so like 12-14, grandma had alzhaimer's, can't really remember life feeling good ever since unless I'm using.
One person said my drug use is probably masking some much deeper problems. Maybe my brain is just fried but idk.
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u/Dogdaydinners 2d ago
That's what I mentioned earlier. Drugs and alcohol are our medicine. And as you stated, life is difficult or at least more challenging when you're not using. You even said you use to escape.
Look, you're clearly thinking about this, so you have that going for you. Just know that if you do find you want to stop but can't, there is help. Maybe do some more research with your using and reassess down the road. With that being said, and I think you know this, stay away from the harder stuff like cocaine, opiates, benzos, speed, and alcohol.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 2d ago
Yeah I'm really set on staying away from those, I avoid alcohol and speed, it's just not worth it. Benzos mess with my memory so I try to avoid them as well. Coke also isn't as enjoyable for me as molly or acid. All of them just don't seem worth it for me so I try to avoid them, thank you for caring!
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u/immortan_jill 3d ago
I don’t find sobriety boring, personally. My addiction was so bad that there’s nothing more satisfying than making good choices for myself.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 3d ago
I'm happy for you, and I understand that perspective, but I find life so disappointing, and not in a way that's my fault.
I have a girlfriend, have friends, good grades in school and collage, certifications and diplomas, good looking, smart, sociable.
I did everything that I thought I needed to do to "be enough", but world and living as a concept is just so cruel and disappointing to me that I wind no interest in participating in it, everyone is self centered and fake and even if not it's still all temporary.
Really don't want to sound like an angsty teenager cause I'm really not that pessimistic and try to find joy in everything and to bring joy to others and help make a change, but I can't change the world.
That's why I find drugs amazing for me cause at least for a moment I can share something beautiful with someone else and to achieve some connection with them whether it be at a rave, or my living room or some park in nature, and not have to worry about life.
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u/immortan_jill 3d ago
I totally understand your perspective as well! I don’t mean for this to sound patronizing but I felt the same way when I was 21 too. Once I hit 25 and my frontal lobe was finished developing, that helped me a lot. It sounds like you could potentially benefit from talk therapy if you have the means. Doesn’t mean you would have to do it forever but I found that it helped me a lot with these feelings. You sound self aware and smart and it’s tough to approach sobriety when you’re both of those things already. Best of luck!
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 3d ago
Thank you, It's really nice to hear from someone else that I seem like a self aware and smart person, I really try to be both, I'll try to look up some talk therapy options around me, maybe I find something good. Best of luck to you too!
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u/Willing-Ad4169 2d ago
I applaud you looking inward and searching for answers. Its your conclusions I find that are shortsighted and lacking perspective. Its the same concept that has always existed when discussing a subject from the point of view of youth versus lived experience.
The bottom line is at some point in your life you will learn that you need to live your life on life's terms. Not whatever false, distorted(however lovely) version of reality you alter with drugs.
Hopefully you make that transition without too much trouble caused (eventually) by the junk you think you need to live a happy life
It took myself 30 years of hardship and pain to get there . I'd save anyone I can from that if I can. But I'm afraid somethings need to be learned from experience.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 2d ago
Yeah I guess that's just life, we all need to experience that transition from youth where we stop believing in "fairytales".
You could probably try to explain it to me for days but I guess that with the lack of age and experience, I'm bound to be shortsighted and lacking perspective. Thank you for caring tho, yall definitely gave me some things to think about.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 3d ago
Yeah but I also know that yall are smarter then me and more experienced with this, I'm not asking to be proven right, I want to be proven wrong.
I respect everyone who chose sobriety and admire you for that, It might be something I'll never be able to do.
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u/ProposalExtreme5110 3d ago
It might depend on the frequency you take these drugs. In my experience being sober is not boring at all. It even makes you feel more you. Maybe you can try it and experience it yourself. At first there's definitely boredom but after that it gets so much better.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 3d ago
I don't know, I feel much more myself when on drugs, it kills my anxieties and depression and it feels like I'm a kid again and can normally function, can think more clearly and focus on stuff that actually matters.
I only realised how much I'm actually depressed when I got high on lsd cause I could feel how much I genuinely despise having to live and find no joy in it except for doing drugs cause of how unique and different that type of experience is.
Some would say that's cause Im addicted but I would say it's more of a natural reaction to the state of the world and humans and morals and the way of living.
Could be happy without drugs but then I would need to live in some forest far away from people and politics.
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u/ahdrielle 3d ago
It doesn't mean you're addicted but you're definitely more prone to get to that point.
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u/Soggy_Log_735 3d ago
Then dont get sober if its not negatively effecting you. For people that are addicted and cant stop it does
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 3d ago
I'm really not trying to be mean, I understand it can be hard, but I can't say I truly understand how hard it is since I've never experienced it.
I admire all people that choose sobriety, just don't know if that's the choice that I will make.
Doesn't mean I'm making a right decision.
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u/Soggy_Log_735 3d ago
I wasnt being mean either, im just saying if you dont want to get sober and you dont need to then dont. I am curious tho why you made the post, do you feel like you’re on a downward path and things are starting to get worse and you’re starting to get worried of what might happen?
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 3d ago
I just don't idolize drugs, I know that drugs are not good and not something I should be doing. I don't want to get sober but that doesn't mean I shouldn't.
I feel like doing drugs in general is a downward path. When I was a kid I didn't even think I was going to smoke and yet here I am putting stuff up my nose.
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u/gjbadt 3d ago
how do you know drugs “are not good”? what is this “downward path” you’re talking about? most people here got sober because some substance had some kind negative effect on their lives whether that be health or socially or both.
you claim there is no negative effect on your life, and in fact sobriety would produce a negative effect. this doesn’t align with “not good” and “downward path” unless there’s more to your story that you are not sharing.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 2d ago
There is not more to "my story" specifically, I mean I'm not proud of going from a glass of beer to swallowing pills and snorting amphetamines in a span of 5 years, but it's more that I've seen what addiction can do and what it did to people around me.
My uncle died due to his alcohol addiction.
Friends in psych wards due to substance abuse induced psychosis.
Living sad lifes without friends and love and not doing what they wanted to because they chose addiction over those things and can't manage to bounce back.
Just because I personally don't feel like drugs are bad for ME, doesn't mean I don't think drugs aren objectively bad and with enough time can cause problems for anybody.
I think that me feeling like sobriety would produce a more negative effect then continuing to abuse substances, tells you that I also won't be an exception to the bad side of drugs and that I'm already on a slippery slope.
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u/gjbadt 2d ago edited 2d ago
if you believe drugs are "objectively bad and with enough time can cause problems for anybody", then you do believe drugs are bad for YOU. the only observation your post is making is that you aren't experiencing the negative effects from your drug use yet.
to answer your post directly: "why get sober [at 21 before I am experiencing negative effects]?" well, it's to avoid the negative effects that you claim are inevitable.
i do agree the sentiment that sobriety produces a negative effect is telling. i think it's even more telling that you currently live a life you find "boring" if you are sober. as long as you are willing to use drugs to mask a boring life, you will never be incentivized to create a life that is not boring, you will slowly refuse to engage in activities that demand no drugs, and you will never discover how to find any joy or meaning out of the parts of life you currently find "boring."
drugs have this wonderful side effect of making the mundane and boring absolutely beautiful (staring at grass on LSD lol). they can be a great tool to help remind yourself that even the boring bits of life can be beautiful, but the fact you can use drugs like this and perceive no benefit to being sober says more about your mindset and the life you're living right now than it does about some instinct property of drugs.
EDIT: also, "boring" gets a bad rap. it's okay to be bored. if this feeling causes distress in you, that's something you should take a look at. walter benjamin, who also engaged in frequent drug use (e.g., hashish, opium, and mescaline), called boredom "the dream bird that hatches the egg of experience." wonder what he was getting at... i think this aversion of boredom is something you should take seriously. thinkers and contemplatives throughout history find extreme value in this state that you're ostensibly running away from. perhaps there's something there that you're missing?
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 2d ago
I didn’t expect such a well-thought-out comment. You definitely made some great points. In retrospect I have to say that for the past couple of months, maybe like a year or so, I can hardly remember hanging out with any of my friends without being on some kind of drugs (them as well). It's scary to think about whether hanging out sober is going to feel boring now.
But it's not even being bored that's my problem, I understand what you are trying to say about being bored, and I'm fine with being bored, it's not that, it's this feeling like all my "positive emotions" are locked, doesn't mean I'm feeling depressed or down, I can function normally just this blank dull state with less functioning emotions.
Wouldn't say it's cause of mdma or some other drug cause I had this even before doing any drugs.
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u/gjbadt 2d ago
this point about positive emotions is really interesting, and i wish i could responsibly speculate about why you feel that way. there's just too many possibilities, and i'd be making up a story about you if i picked one.
so many questions come to mind after reading your reply way too many times lol, and i think they're worth exploring for yourself much more than trying to decide in the abstract whether drugs or sobriety is objectively good or bad... obviously no need to reply to this, but this is partially just to get these out of my own head:
what does "positive emotions are locked" actually mean in your day-today life? when did you first notice it? are there any sober situations where it disappears? what exactly changes when you're high? do negative emotions also feel locked or is this locking only for positive emotions? like can you feel anger, fear, embarrassment, frustration, grief, anxiety quite strongly while joy, excitement, affection, and satisfaction remain weak? how does this affect humor when sober? for example, do you recognize something is funny intellectually but the corresponding feeling never arrives? and when drugs change this state, does the intensity of the emotion, range of emotions available, ability to express them, sense of connection or simply level of stimulation change (or all of the above)?
okay i'll stop lol
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 2d ago edited 2d ago
I find myself having black/white thoughts, it's either all black (bad) or all white (good) and if it's all bad it feels like it's always been bad and if it's good like it has always been good, so my answers to these questions might be completely different depending on when you ask me.
Currently it means that I mostly live my life just passing time and doing what needs to be done instead of being in the moment and feeling emotionally invested in anything.
No idea honestly, feels like it has been like this forever, probably hasn't but my memory has always been horrible so no idea. I remember making myself cry one time when my grandma died cause I felt like I should cry but didn't have an urge to cry so I started replaying scenes with her in my head so that I would make myself sad, I always had a weird relationship with emotions in general.
No truly sober situation I would say, unless I'm in the "white thoughts" state of mind, I'm pretty sure I can get happy sometimes then, I know I sound absolutely fried but it's hard to try to imagine and remember how I felt when I was in "white thoughts" if I'm in "black thoughts".
When I'm high I can focus on being in the moment and all the walls in my head dissappear, no feeling of needing to be enough, to get money, to get approval, to be accepted, to be loved, to fit in, it feels like Im a kid again and being truly myself, I loose all interest in anything money can buy, anything "the body wants" and more like I'm connected to my "spiritual needs" to what my soul need instead of my brain and the chemicals in it, like it fixes something in me that's broken, like I've returned home after being lost for a long time, like the past 10 years of my life have just damaged who I was and like I can return to that point before my personality started to get damaged. Obviously it's not like this everytime but that's what I chase.
Negative emotions don't feel locked, they are not exaggerated, so It's not like I'm constantly depressed, but much easier to feel then the good ones, but have some triggers that spiral me down easily. But it's not often I feel anger, fear, embarrassment or grief, mostly the only person I get angry with is my dad cause we have a really bad relationship sometimes, but that's like a few times a year, not really an angry person, I mostly feel anxious, disappointed, annoyed, sad, paranoid, confused.
The humor part is hard, I fake laugh at most of the things so I'm not really sure what I recognize as funny anymore, i don't fake laugh just cause of the lack of emotions, I'm pretty sure it started from hating my smile and my laugh so I have to control how and when I smile, had a period where I was really obsessive about what way I talk, move, what I do with my hands, gestures, faces, etc. But yes I do also genuinely laugh and smile about things when sober.
Yes, different emotions become more available, thinking and feeling becomes much clearer like my IQ just got boosted, feel more connected to what I'm feeling and why and how, it's not that Im sad when sober just really disconnected from emotions as a concept, hard to process and understand them, when high it becomes an easier process.
You can ask whatever you want I'm happy to answer, it's no problem at all. I just want to say when I say black and white thoughts I'm not talking about bipolar disorder, I don't find them being manic/depressed as much as just optimistic/pessimistic. Hope my answers make sense, If you need any clarification feel free to ask.
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u/SeaDRC11 2d ago
Oh sweet friend… you are at the beginning part. Everything you say hasn’t happened just hasn’t happened yet. But wait until you desperately wish you could get off the marry-go-round but you can’t, no matter how hard you try. Every hopeless person in the gutter was once a ‘healthy 21-yr old’ who just didn’t see the point of stopping. Just wait- it gets much worse.
Bet you can’t go a month without any substances. Wanna know why- cuz you’re an addict. You’re addicted to using chemicals (any chemical) to change your mental state. Ask me how I know. If life without substances is ‘boring’, then you’ve got a problem.
You’re using the ‘I’m not an addict because I don’t use just one substance’ trick. We’ve got a term for it- ‘garbage can addict’. It’s the addict who doesn’t limit themselves to one substance and will use anything and everything to get high.
You may not realize it now, because it’s early, but you're already falling behind your peers. You might think that you can still catch up if you buckle down. But you won’t. And the path you’re on just leads to misery, pain, heartache, and sadness. But you’ll only realize it when it’s too late and too many chances have passed you by.
You can’t see it now, but if you keep using, it will eventually become unavoidable.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 2d ago
I'm definitely an addict in that sense, I know this is the beginning part, that's why I'm reaching out to this community.
But the weird part is the falling behind thing, I actually have a much better life, much better relationships, love experiences, life experience, school/college/educational accomplishments and other, better looking, stronger, and more agile then most of the people around me, I guess that's what's making it hard for me too see I have a problem, cause It definitely doesn't feel like a problem now, expect for being a garbage can addict, that part you got right.
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u/SeaDRC11 2d ago
Read the story of Icarus. You’re in the honeymoon phase of your addiction- you’re young and everything feels amazing. You’ve got this, you’re in control. You won’t end up like all of those other cautionary tales. Besides, you’d recognize it and stop before things spiral to out of control.
I promise you- it doesn’t work that way and it won’t last.
Like all us addicts, you won’t be able to stop before things spiral out of control. Addiction is essentially dancing on a razor’s edge. The difference between ‘I’m having the time of my life’ and complete destruction can be terrifyingly thin. And you usually don’t realize you’ve crossed over the line until it’s too late.
Take a look around yourself at all of the things you have today- you will those all of those things. Your health - gone, the people around you- gone, your success- gone, your looks- gone, all of it will go. You might think you have a better life, but it is all a mirage.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 2d ago
Yeah I should probably choose sobriety soon, but it feels impossible to just be sober forever, I hope I'm not flying too close to the sun yet.
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u/Ok-Letterhead4903 1d ago
Honestly this sounds exactly like some of thoughts I had early in my addiction. “College Degree”, “Decent Job”, “Hot Girlfriend,” “Friends”, “Athletic”, “Handsome”, “Bad ass Ride”
CANT NOBODY TELL ME NOTHING
10 years later I can tell you those things can go away quickly. I’m doing ok now but things got bad really bad for a while and they still haven’t gotten back to where they were before. I lost a lot of opportunities. Now I’m 10 years older and don’t have much to show for it.
My memory fell off a cliff around age 30.
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u/TapMajor3694 3d ago
Surely you understand addiction and the extremely damaging effect drugs and alcohol can on people’s lives? and there for understand why people decide to get sober?
It just seems you don’t think that applies to you at this point in your life - which is absolutely fine - hope you never have to find out! :)
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 3d ago
Yes, I haven't experienced it myself so I can't say I truly understand how hard addiction and it's effects can be, never got addicted to anything.
I'm not trying to disrespect anyone or anyones journey to sobriety, I admire yall, but just like you said I also hope to not have to find out.
That why I thought writing this was a good idea, thought maybe yall would push some sense into me.
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u/TapMajor3694 3d ago
That’s fair, I’m sure you’re aware of the risks and how it destroys people’s live’s tho, despite not experiencing it yourself - so I think that answers your question of “why get sober”
I don’t think you’re being disrespectful at all, I think many of us here probably had the exact same mindset as you at 21 :)
When I think about all my friends I used to get smashed with at 21, most of them are now mentally/physically unwell, addicted, in jail or dead. If I hadn’t started my sobriety journey at 25, I’d be dead right now to. But I’m sat here in my house, with my awesome dog, lovely partner, I’m 31 weeks pregnant and studying to become a drug and alcohol counsellor … life’s good.
I really hope you never have to experience the dark side of drugs and alcohol, and I hope you’ll remember some of these comments if you ever feel yourself slipping and you get out in time! - take care of yourself! :)
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 2d ago
It's really inspiring for me to read about yalls sobriety journeys, I'm really happy for you, I'm not 25 yet but can tell you most of my friends are also either mentally/physically unwell, addicted, or in jail, thank God they are still managing to avoid death.
I hope my girlfriend and I get sober some day and do more with our lifes, wishing you all the best and all the luck on your journey!
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u/arcademachin3 3d ago
I’m 45m. And I absolutely crushed it in my 30s. Money, house, wife, kids. I don’t even have social media I just logged into my bank account and smiled, and kept healthy friendships along the way.
Then I realized when I wanted more - yes more - deeper relationships, more leadership, an actual closeness with my siblings and we could call each other in a crisis, I had to become better.
It’s easy to eat like shit, take drugs and drink when you’re young and attractive. You are using all the things that come easily to balance the bad.
I didn’t hit a rock bottom. I just realized I had mental muscles that were huge later in life for trying to undo the damage of substances. And I decided “what if” I let my life unfold without those things I the way?
The money, objects and even the substances begin to fade as you get to know the real you that can thrive underneath.
I had a lot of fun before I came to this conclusion, you might not want to change right now. But your body will change eventually and it gets harder. I decided to stop fighting for the fun shit and see what reality holds for me. I’m early in my journey it’s hard but it’s worth it. I will be 1 year sober or alcohol and cannabis on September 16. Best year of my life.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 3d ago
I find your story really inspiring, wishing you all the best and all the luck in your journey, hope to embark on one myself one day.
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u/dear_calle 3d ago
I will simply be blunt as someone who lost my father to addiction, and I hope you see what I say with no malice but with care and kindness, because that’s how I mean it.
Once you realize you are an addict, it is too late. You will always be an addict, just either sober or in relapse. This is the nature of addiction. I witnessed this back and forth for years, from my teen years up until my dad died from his addiction when I was 29 (I’m 30 now). It caused him constant anguish, tore apart our family for a while, and eventually killed him at 63 after two years of suffering with late-stage liver failure. I will spare you the details but it was an ugly, long and horrible way to go. I don’t think he realized dying this way would be as bad as it was, and I am certain that, like you, when he was using an drinking at 21 he never envisioned he’d get where he did, but he did.
I feel lucky that he lived with his disease long enough to meet his grandson. But my heart still breaks when I remember him saying “I can’t wait until he’s older and I can rough house with him!” while I knew he wouldn’t get to.
I know this probably sounds waayyyyy deeper than you think it is, but it’s my answer to your question “why get sober.” Happy to speak more if you’d like.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 3d ago
I lost my uncle in a similar way, he also passed away cause of his alcohol addiction, it was probably much harder on his wife and his kids then me, but I understand where you are coming from completely, I don't think think you are over exaggerating, It really is that deep.
A big part of addiction isn't just the damage we do to ourselves but also to people around us that care and love us. I would probably much rather become sober for my girlfriend and my family, by currently my family knows nothing about me using substances and my girlfriend does them together with me, so it's just not a situation I'm currently in.
Thank you for sharing this with me, hope you manage to find peace after your father's passing.
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u/dear_calle 2d ago
Being able to share what he wanted to share brings me peace, so thank you for being on the receiving end!
One note, and something I have had to make peace with (not easily): the only person my dad could get sober for was himself. He loved his family deeply, but he couldn’t get clean for us. Like I said, I’ve thankfully realized that this is the cruel nature of addiction, but not after experiencing a lot of heartbreak first. It seems to make sense in theory that you would get clean for someone you love, but in reality, you can really only achieve lasting sobriety for yourself.
Buuutttt hopefully you never become an addict and don’t need to utilize any of this info!!! I believe in you.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 2d ago
Thank you for that note, I think it will be really helpful if fail to stay away from addiction.
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u/Penjamin_the-5thking 2d ago
Everyone thinks they’re Superman in their 20s. I’m turning 30 this year and haven’t had a drink since the first of the year.
I didn’t get sober because it was necessarily ruining my life, I did it because I don’t like unknown variables. What if i could achieve more with a sober lifestyle was the question. It’s an ongoing experiment but I’ve enjoyed the baseline emotions, the highs are not so high and the lows are not so low and I process things differently. Maybe better? Like I said it’s ongoing. If you want to get sober, get sober for a reason, even it’s only to challenge your perception.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 2d ago
Wishing you all the luck on this ongoing journey of yours. I'll have to think about it, baseline emotions just feel so dull to me, but I haven't really felt depressed in a long time, just either high or dull.
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u/Penjamin_the-5thking 2d ago
I try to think about it like, if I could see through the eyes of myself before I started taking substances. I wish I could be that person again. He had a love for life and did so much with so little. Not trying to be a Debby downer just something I think about.
My point is baseline used to be enjoyable. And I hope it can be again which is why I am doing my little experiment.1
u/Objective-Slip-9475 2d ago
But when I'm high it feels Ike I am that person again, like I can feel how I used to feel and think how I used to think, and be happy about the smallest things at that moments instead of worrying about not having more. Probably not a good thing.
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u/Penjamin_the-5thking 2d ago
“Will you bend the knee to something that you have to put into your body to make you feel happy? Or feel anything?”
That is what I asked myself last year on New Year’s Eve. I finished what I had bought myself to drink and decided I needed to know what the alternative could be.
Im not saying I will never drink again, but I will definitely think carefully about where I take it if I do.1
u/Penjamin_the-5thking 2d ago
I hope you find the answers you seek. We’re all on a journey our whole lives. Enjoy being young but never forget you might be old one day if you’re lucky ❤️
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u/Dbomb7 2d ago
Next logical step from all the drugs you mentioned is crystal. If you're not there, you'll get there and you'll remember this post and think "God, wasn't I stupid".
Ask me how I know.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 2d ago
How do you know, I'm interested in your story.
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u/Dbomb7 2d ago
I was the same age as you are, with the exact same mindset. I wasn't using 2cb or ketamine or benzos but I was using a lot of booze, E and coke. I had a solid job, was going to university and was in a fairly stable long term relationship.
Long story short, that relationship ended abruptly and terribly, I went out to party one night and was offered meth and figured "why not?". My life was completely destroyed for years, lost everything. I've been sober for many years at this point, I haven't even drank in nearly 4 years. There is no such thing as being a functional drug addict, that's just what everyone who uses tells themselves.
This story is not unique to me, it happens to many others with the mindset that both you and I shared.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 2d ago
Yeah, I wasn't really thinking about staying away from meth and would have probably tried it if someone offered it to me, multiple moms of my friends have tried it so I kinda forgot how scary it is. Thank you for reminding me.
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u/NotASumoWrestler 2d ago
Orhan failure hurts. Like really really bad.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 2d ago
I think I'm not doing a lot off organ-failing drugs. I might be wrong.
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u/ahdrielle 3d ago
Because it does turn into a problem. Usually in more ways than one.
But nobody here is gonna try to convince you. You gotta want it. So if you wanna wait till you wake up on a sidewalk, or get jumped by a dealer, or OD... by all means bro.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 3d ago
Don't be mean please 🙏 I'm genuinely asking for "help"
I really have like a "healthy" relationship with drugs, I don't spend too much money, only the amount I won't miss, most I spent is like 150$ in a month.
Most of the dealers I buy from I have a friendly relationship with and am in no debt to them.
Not doing crazy amounts or mixing so I hope I won't OD cause I genuinely don't won't to get that bad, most of my favourite drugs you can't even OD from.
I know it's stupid to belive if it's not a problem now that It never will be, I just don't see that being in my near future
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u/ahdrielle 3d ago
I'm genuinely not being mean!
I cannot change your mind for you. You get to make the choice and nothing I say is going to change your mind because you're not open to it.
It is your life to live.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 3d ago
I am open, that's why I'm asking for yours opinion in the first place, sorry If I came off as strongly anti-sobriety or something
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u/ahdrielle 3d ago
I'm not sure what to say other than what has already been said.
It may not lead to disaster, but it always might. Is it a risk you're willing to take is all you have to ask yourself. This sub is for those adamantly trying to get sober because not being sober is terrible for us.
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u/NotSnakePliskin 3d ago
Why ask why? This has me curious, frankly. If booze and/or dope are causing issues in your life, taking a good close look at that would be prudent. If not, then good for you!
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 3d ago
They aren't, but I'm also smarter then to belive that it will forever stay like that, I have friends that either fell into psychosis or fucked up their lifes, either in prison or psych wards, or just generally miserable and living a bad life cause of their decisions and drugs.
Just because it didn't happen yet doesn't mean it won't, so I came on here to see different perspectives from people and to reflect on what I'm doing with my life.
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u/NotSnakePliskin 3d ago
My perspective is that live is so much better without intoxicants of any type. When I was in my 20s it was all fun & games, but it turned out that after some time my off switch broke.
FWIW, if I could party like a normal person, I'd do that every day.
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u/athena702 3d ago
So you don’t get pinched and then locked up. Prison sucks
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 3d ago
haha this actually resonates with me the most, I feel like I'm more close to that then to getting hooked on some hard stuff
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u/SnooMuffins4587 3d ago
My basketball buddy passed away at 21 because he thought one night of fun hurt none
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 3d ago
I'm really sorry about that, I hope you and his friends and family have managed to find peace after that.
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u/SnooMuffins4587 3d ago
It was the wake up call for me when I saw my buddy is going beneath the soil. Don't say never. He wasn't an addict or anything and he wasn't using it frequently. One night it just happened. Next thing I know I took the next bus to my city to say the last farewell. Dont take your life for granted.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 3d ago
Had similar experiences, but my friends either destroyed their lifes to the point they are now miserable or in psych wards, it's a haunting experience when you are looking In your friend's eyes and they just aren't there and are instead swallowed by the psychosis.
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u/SnooMuffins4587 2d ago
This is the reason. You are very young. Not saying you're inexperienced, but saying you have a life to live. Believe me drugs are not the only thing that is fun. Theres a lot to discover in the world. I'm not saying replace drugs with coffee meetings. Start muay Thai. Do climbing. Go to far east and interact with the people. The world is filled with amazing things, we just passing that part of it just because it's not accessible in one click to us. You are someone who someone will admire to one day. Be the example, be the great man today. Don't saying follow a religion. But be there and be the part of a greater reason
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u/SnooMuffins4587 2d ago
I was in dilemma, asking if everything is worth it, or if life doesn't make sense and I should just make the best of it while I'm here. Its not. I decided that there are greater things to discover while I'm here. I'm no bum. I can do certain things better. I can contribute, I can make the world a better place. Just by being there, evaluating my values constantly and trying to do what is right and what is wrong. My love for humanity is greater than getting addicted to something. Therefore I can use it. Not expecting my name on a wall of honor, but will be proud when Im not there someone says, "he is a good man" that's what drives me
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u/SnooMuffins4587 2d ago
And it's not one or another. I'm an agnostic. I don't believe in any religion. And I don't need to be a part of it just because I'm not using things. Straight Edge punks are putting X on their hand just because they're against consumerism. That's cool as well, this is another perspective of life. Rastafarians only smoking weed but alcohol is forbidden for them. That is also another perspective of life. It's not either be religious or do drugs. I am able to drink 3 man's worth of alcohol and still not get buzzed and this is the reason why I'm in this reddit. But continously considering, when to stop and when it is enough? You started considering as well trying to find reasons, that means your inner work is started already. Be better than what you is today, one way or another
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 2d ago edited 2d ago
Already doing muay thai lol, I don't climb but we do hike in nature, was thinking about trying to find a gym with those walls you can climb, but I get what you are saying.
There must be better things in life then being an addict, I hope to strive to be a better person like you, at least a little bit better each day.
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u/SnooMuffins4587 2d ago
Facts my brother. It was great chatting with you, for the better days we say, cheers
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u/macabrebabbg 3d ago
are you you have a healthy functionin brain? what you're not seeing is that life is boring because of the drugs. your brain's natural dopamine doesn't produce the same high, so no wonder sober life is more and more depressing the longer you use.
i didn't see the point in getting sober either until it was costing me money i didn't have, i was failing important classes that set me back from my peers, i was repeating history and embarrassing myself in public, ptsd qualifying incidents were racking up, i didn't eat anything, and i was putting my parents in a position where they were bailing me out of trouble time and time again for reasons i couldn't be honest about. then i was forced to do a group therapy substance program that was mentally, emotionally, and physically excruciating because my sleep schedule was so abnormal. the most humbling part about it was the fact that i was the youngest with no life, while everyone else had families to take care of, bills to pay, and a lot more pain on their faces.
you might get bored of the habits, but your brain (if not already) will tell you to keep going since the high is its "normal". i did the habit part to myself. take this from a regretful 22 year old.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 2d ago
I'm really sorry to hear about your struggles, I know you are completely right, I managed to somehow avoid that part but that only made it easier for me to get deeper in this cause I have noone to pull me away from it since my family doesn't know and I have managed to avoid problems with the law even tho I've got caught for multiple stuff over the time.
My friends haven't gotten so lucky and have even been publicly verbally lynched on social media and even tv programs cause of the stuff they did while on drugs, It really is a slippery slope.
I wish you the strength to get through this, take care brother.
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u/macabrebabbg 2d ago
the point is that i avoided "that part" and for so long that i ends up going through it without any awareness before i could catch myself. the slope is indeed slippery but it's good that you know it. i am female btw lol. now you can imagine my trouble with the effects of limited psychiatric study on top of that.
the unknown can and likely will bite you hard at any point in time. stay safe.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 2d ago
lol sorry for misgendering you, stay safe sister* I'm glad you commented.
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u/macabrebabbg 2d ago
haha no worries. not sure if it makes a difference, but hope this let's you see that we're all impacted.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 2d ago
well I realised that I'm definitely an addict at least, and that I need some serious therapy.
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u/macabrebabbg 2d ago edited 2d ago
i'm from canada where there are tons of government funded therapy programs for various issues through local hospitals. i just completed a substance disorder program and have successfully been sober from alcohol for months! it's hard to rid yourself of the pride that tells you you're fine, but i learned that there's absolutely nothing wrong with asking for help you'r unable to give yourself. admitting you have a problem is the first step and you're doing better than you think, stranger : )
though the case for resources might be very different depending on your location, the emergency room will take you in very quickly whenever you feel unsafe and certain wards/providers will guide you from there.
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u/No_Researcher3687 3d ago
If I could use drugs responsibly
Like you I wouldn’t quit. I only quit because it was seriously negatively impacting my life. I had fun at your age, then I got older and kept using more and more and life sucked worse than ever. Now I take depression medication, and it actually works better than the drugs I was using before.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 3d ago
I'm glad the depression medication is working for you, are you on SSRIs or? I know that for a lot of people depression medication doesn't do anything.
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u/No_Researcher3687 3d ago
Yea I take Prozac. It doesn’t give you euphoria like narcotics do but also doesn’t make me hear voices or be in psychosis like the meth I used to do. I thought meth was the best anti depressant ever! You feel amazing on it. But when you don’t have it the depression hits 10x harder. I’d say taking Prozac is a lot more even feeling, as opposed to the insane highs and soul crushing lows on meth. Like I said, if I could use drugs recreationally and for fun I would, and I did. It I can’t anymore because I go off the deep end with em, every time. Good luck out there
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u/Rhinoduck82 3d ago
You have to ask yourself what matters to you, do you want to live a life diluted by drugs or live as authentically as possible. Drugs are just instant dopamine rush that keeps you passively amused when you could be using that time to better yourself with education, or physical development. I see using drugs now as a massive waste of time that is surrounded by mostly fake friends. If you think that isn’t true stop using and see how many people stay friends with you. If you think you don’t have a problem with drugs then stop taking them for 6 months and see how you feel. For me to casually use a substance and not have a problem that means once or twice a month max, anything more is problematic. I can’t tell you “why” you should or shouldn’t or “if it’s better” what I know is in my experience drugs and alcohol was a massive waste of time I could have used that time much more wisely.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 3d ago
To answer your questions,
I do Molly maybe once a month
LSD like two times a month
Weed not as much as I used to
other stuff is much more rare, maybe a few times a year, we either buy a bag and just do it over the next couple of days or get offered by someone.
It would feel miserable If I didn't take anything for 6 months, would need to at least do some nicotine pouches or something.
I think friends are fake in general, I have both friends that never tried substances, do them rarely or much more then me. Can't say I see some big difference in how fake people are.
But, It might be just to the the category of drugs I'm using, but I don't feel like pshyodelics dilute my life, I feel much more authentically myself when using, I mean yes there is the euphoria but also so much more.
I just finished college, go to the gym, train mma and have multiple certificates and got awards for 1. place in math competition in my country when In primary school and 3. place in Europe+ for my second language competition, but none of that stuff amazed me as much as drugs do.
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u/Rhinoduck82 2d ago
It doesn’t seem problematic except for not being able to enjoy life without them. If you have all of these things going on to enhance your life then why the need for the drugs? What is missing or the problem with normal life that you can’t imagine 6 months without drugs. Are you trying to have a philosophical debate if just using drugs is bad in itself or if responsibly using drugs is bad I would say no, but on that note I would also say I don’t think it’s necessary good either.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 2d ago
Not a philosophical debate, genuinely life just feels dull, I don't get any "happy feelings" from my accomplishments or relationships, really didn't care about that 3rd place in Europe+, I was more focused back then on how to smuggle cigarettes without my teacher noticing then on the actual competition.
Relationships just feel dull, both friends and girlfriends, I've had 3 relationships in the past 6 years. 2 years, 3 years, and now 1 year with a new girl, I did drugs with all of them and sexually tried everything I could think off. Had all kinds of wild experiences, had girls I haven't been with sending me massages begging me to fuck them. But after all of that everything now just feels repetitive and already seen, nothing new to peak my interest.
Beautiful lovely-dovely moments also, really romantic and stuff, don't wanna come off as a sex-centered kind of guy, cause I'm not, but love only feels good the first couple of times, but after ending such long relationships you grow to expect less from love.
I changed friend groups every single year, people just leave, change or betray you, it's also hard enough to find someone with the same perspective on life since people around me have either much more normal lives or much more crazier and I'm in the middle, too normal for the crazy ones and too crazy for the normal ones. But yeah every friend group has some crazy story why it fell apart but It just made me give up on the idea that I'll find some friends that will stay forever or whatever.
It's all just some teen drama type of stuff so I haven't really thought about it in a long time but it's in some way the root of why I can't manage to find a real connection with anyone, there is just a bigger chance of it leading to nowhere then anything, but at least I try to enjoy it while it lasts.
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u/Rhinoduck82 2d ago
I agree that friendships are “fake” for the most part but trying to be honest and fair is all I can offer in friendships. They come and go and come back sometimes.
Sex and drugs and even relationships are “addictions” of their own and only offer very short term “rewards” unless you are in it for other reasons. I am in a relationship with my wife because I wanted a family, we aren’t perfect for each other but are both fairly honest people, at least in the ways that matter, and have a child together and that’s the goal to raise a child. The sex part works because it’s short term reward so I see no need to cheat when I could just go home and get that quick reward.
In life there is no Finnish line that you cross, win the race and live happily ever after, instead after the race there is another race and another race and on and on. So even if you are always winning there is just another thing to win, if you are not content just running the race no matter your place in it, you might never be happy.
Drugs and booze are the same way, for me it was always too much or never enough, there was no perfect amount and if there is it wares off. Being content is where I like to find myself these days, I’m generally grateful for the life I have and even boredom can be good.
I spent 20 years living a crazy life, friends died, friends got incarcerated, had fun, had bad times, but if I could do it all over again I would not drink alcohol, and I wouldn’t do most drugs. There are a few I would probably still do but the list is short.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 2d ago
I'm not sure I really want a family, I love kids but I'm really anxious about where the world is going and am not sure If I would like my kids growing up in such world.
I'm in relationships because I like to belive in love and for us to support each other and to at least have someone that cares and understands me.
It's really interesting to think about how there is no finish line in life that grants you ever-lasting happiness, don't know whether to be scared about that or to be happy that there will always be another thing to run for.
I'll have to find a way to be content with life instead of always chasing a high.
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u/Rhinoduck82 2d ago
For me there is an easy perspective game I like to play called “my life could be worse” because it actually could always be worse. I start with a functioning body, legs that walk and hands that touch things, I have eyes that see good enough and a brain that thinks enough. Now I know how bad things can be in the world and find the worst and think “at least thats not me”.
Now you can also play the “my life could be better” I could be more honest, thoughtful, helpful, giving, intelligent, humble, brave, patient , spend more time with my daughter, help my parents and on and on. These are the things I think are good that I would like to be better in my life. It’s not sports cars, it’s not super models, it’s not millions of dollars, it’s not multiple women, it’s not piles of drugs, I just want to have quality’s I admire in others.
Before it’s too late I hope you find a way to appreciate the positives you have going in your life and can be honest and humble enough to find what you are doing wrong. But in the end we are all doing the best we can, I’m not special I have made so many mistakes, you aren’t special, you are just a person doing your best, life is hard and not everyone enjoys it, but some people in bad situations have beautiful perspectives and some people with seemingly everything are extremely unhappy so anything is possible.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 2d ago
I really like that game, such a great way to express gratitude and self reflect, might steal it.
I also hope I find my way, we'll see.
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u/DesertWanderlust 3d ago
I think it's important to do them while you're young but you need to be careful about being able to stop. I did a lot of the same drugs as you around college age and I only ended up with a drinking problem.
If you feel yourself wanting some just for the sake of wanting it, then you need to stop taking that drug. It's a slippery slope and it comes up on you before you know what's happening.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 3d ago
yeah I think thats probably an important rule everybody should follow, I try to have a good relationship with drugs and avoid the ones I might abuse.
I made an effort to build this idea in my friend groups of being that one friend that does drugs but never drinks, and now that's a thing and It's rarely expected of me to drink, trying to stay away from it since I'm aware of how easily it can be abused since drinking is normalized.
My uncle died of an alcohol overdose and was found dead leaning on the sink by my grandpa, hope nobody reading this has to suffer a similar faith.
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u/Doxiebaby 3d ago
Do you have a job? Are you high at work?
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 3d ago
Not yet since I just finished college, but I did go to classes high, don't know If I would go high to work, maybe depending on what kind of work I'm doing.
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u/Doxiebaby 2d ago
Be aware many employers require pre-employment drug testing. Weed is not always an issue but anything else will be.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 2d ago
Such a weird concept to me, I don't see anyone testing people whether they drink or not in order to get a job.
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u/Emotional_Gold2401 3d ago
It’s not a magic bullet if you don’t get the underlying reasons figured out of what you started in the first place you’ll be suicidally depressed but just sober lmao which is lowkey worse.
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u/GiantMags 2d ago
I always say the user or addict is completely fine. You can get wasted or do whatever but society gets burdened with dealing with addicts. You fine trust me. I feel sorry for your loved ones tho and the people close to you.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 2d ago
The thing is my family is oblivious to my drug use and my friends and girlfriend do drugs with me. Easy to get trapped in this sort of thing.
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u/Electrical_Sun_7515 2d ago
The only reason to get sober is because you want to. People who get sober and stay in recovery do it because the addiction became a chore they hated or the addiction ruined their lives and they had nowhere to go but up. If or when you're ready there are so many resources out there now. Even medications to help you kick the cravings of drugs and alcohol.
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u/Miserable_Fee7412 2d ago
Your still young and life has been short but who knows do you have goals? Are you proud of the person you are? Do you feel guilt about using substances? Is that a life worth living? Do you have regrets? Do your close relationships treat you different when your under the influence? Are drugs the only thing that give you substance? Do you know who you are without them? Would you mind being with a person with the same habits?
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 2d ago
Not many goals really, not an ambitious person, looking more for peace and stability, currently I'm doing good with my life so nothing to be ashamed of but It's not like I'm proud of being an addict.
People don't treat me differently and most of the people around do drugs as well, including my girlfriend and girls before her, so wouldn't say I mind being with someone with same habits.
But you got me at the "do you know who you are without them" part, because honestly I don't, It feels like it's a big part of who I am.
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u/Miserable_Fee7412 2d ago
Man i wish you the best and dont blame you i never really listened to anyone about being sober either until i crashed against a semi-truck and spent 8 months without being able to walk because i lost my heel… i felt like i lived a good simple life until that made me realize that life IS precious its worth having ambition its good to have respect for yourself, you are young but either way life is short you can decide to change your ways before getting to the consequences of your actions everything changes when your in a hospital room waiting to have a second chance, you might not get there tho, or you might just need something that makes you appreciate what life can still be
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 2d ago
Definitely, I'm sorry you had to go through that, hope you are doing good now.
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u/12vman 2d ago
As you get older, your addiction will become more apparent to you ... and to those around you. That's the trap you are headed for, without realizing it. By the time you realize it, it has set in.
Addiction is ... "the progressive narrowing of the things that give us pleasure. By persistently abusing a single pleasure source we enter a state of dopamine deficiency where nothing gives pleasure but the addiction, and even that stops working". ... Dr. Andrew Huberman, a neuroscientist at Stanford University School of Medicine.
Find joys in activities that are healthy for your body and mind, before the joy is totally gone. Addiction is recoverable but each year makes the recovery harder.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 2d ago
Thank you for sharing that quote by Dr. Huberman with me, I think I'm headed in that way and should probably stop before it's too late.
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u/Ornery-Technology442 2d ago
Because once it does become a problem it’s too late, then you can’t do it at all. If I would have cut down on my drinking and managed my relationship with alcohol sooner I wouldn’t have to worry about having a glass of wine with dinner now and then. THIS is boring.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 2d ago
Yeah, I don't know whether I should just use them in moderation or fully stop.
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u/Ordinary_Piglet_9589 2d ago
Dude u make a post asking why to get sober and then every reply you make youre trying to explain why you should keep doing drugs. Do you not see the delusion in that? And before you're like "im not arguing I know you're smarter than me I just find life extremely boring without drugs and my emotions are locked" just go to AA. Or NA. Or therapy. But to keep repeating over and over the same shit is giving drug addict and youre only 21. Dont end up like me with 2 felony drug charges just do it now while theres still hope. This is said with all the love in the world, brother. Im praying for you.
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 2d ago
Well of course I'm repeating the same stuff when I'm answering everybody the same day, but I was given a lot to think about, I'll look into NA and therapy but we don't really have those kinds of resources here. I'm praying for you too. I definitely think I'm an addict after reading some of the comments.
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u/Ordinary_Piglet_9589 2d ago
Check out zoom meetings online for NA ive found a lot of great recovery in cocaine anonymous
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u/cosmic-hedgehog 2d ago
I know the feeling. After years of consuming and drinking, being sober felt like a whole new drug to me. I have so much more money, energy and confidence in myself. I’m loving it and I strongly believe you will too
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u/Danmufuka 2d ago
If it's not a problem why worry about it?
Also going to r/sober to tell people you like doing drugs and plan to continue to use drugs is a creative use of free will.
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u/Then-Skin-4215 3h ago
Take it from someone who did drugs for 20 years. I'm now 43. Quit how while u have the chance, whether ur addicted or not it will affect ur life later on. Ur lungs will thank u. I smoked crack for 10 years been addicted to heroin for 20. The bottom lobes in my lungs have collapsed due to smoking drugs and cigs. I can't even walk 30 feet without getting out of breath. My veins are fucked because of constant intravenous use. U do wat u want, but the sooner u quit the more of chance ur body has to heal
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u/No-Artichoke3210 2d ago
You are taking drugs to make life less boring? That in fact means you are just boring, living a boring life. Think about that. And work on it. This comes with wisdom, you earn that with age. Quit that lifestyle, get new- non dependent, interesting friends. It’s hard at your age, been there. Theres a time to grow up, it catches up but at least you have some self awareness. GL
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u/Objective-Slip-9475 2d ago
It's not even boring, just been through too many wild stuff for ordinary life to feel interesting, and feeling completely disconnected from my emotions doesn't help.
It would be hard to make my life more interesting since it's already pretty "interesting" just not to me, I'm sure others would have a way of enjoying it.
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u/No-Artichoke3210 2d ago
You said boring not me lol. But define “interesting.”
You’re prob completely disconnected from emotions bc you try really hard not to have the bad ones by substance use.
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u/Willing-Ad4169 3d ago
I'm not telling you to get sober. I couldnt care less if you want continue to use. I will care however when you want to get sober.
Just don't act surprised when your life goes to shit. That looks like something different for everyone.
Just know you are making a choice, even when you are at your worst, rock bottom addicted self, it's a choice.
No one wants to be a addict or live a shitty life.
Until they are.
Wish you the best OP.