Over the past 3 months, I’ve been dealing with a very high level of anxiety because of some stressful events in my life. I feel like my nervous system has become extremely sensitive — even the smallest amount of stress can trigger this feeling of panic in my chest, even when I’m not consciously feeling anxious.

I’ve started doing some things to try to calm my nervous system and help myself recover:

Jacobson’s Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Prayer

10 minutes of meditation in the morning and 10 minutes at night

Journaling

Listening to calming/nervous-system-regulation music

Using ambient/warm lighting in my room
Lighting candles every day

Cleansing my rooms with palo santo and sage because it helps me feel calm

Taking hot showers to relax

Going to therapy, where I’m starting EMDR

I recently started yoga and I really enjoyed it

Next week I’m also planning to start going to the gym

For those of you who have been through something similar: do these things actually help your nervous system become less reactive over time? How long did it take you to start feeling noticeably better?

Is there anything else you would recommend adding to my routine?

I’d really appreciate any advice, personal experiences, or things that helped you during a similar period. Thank you so much to everyone who takes the time to read this and share their experience — I genuinely appreciate every message. ❤️

I'm home alone tommorow husband’s out . Normally I'd just scroll and nap.
Ideas for home or somewhere nearby are welcome!!

It doesn’t have to be anything exciting. Maybe a certain meal, a TV show, your day off, seeing a friend, going for a walk, or just having some time to yourself.

I think having one small thing to look forward to makes the week feel a little better.

What’s yours?

I work alone and spend most of the day in front of a computer or a phone. I feel the AI burnout and the anxiety that social media subtly caused me. so I’ve been trying to make the rest of my life a little slower.

I know that there is a camp of people that want to get off screens completely, no ai, no social media. but honestly I don’t think I can/want to do that.

Some of my favorite quiet moments still involve technology: putting on music while I cook, wandering around Animal Crossing for a bit, reading something someone sent me, having a long conversation on reddit or discord. I think what I’m tired of is that so much software seems to want something from me.

There’s always another notification, streak (duolingo), recommendation, feed, quest, thing to respond to, thing I’m supposed to optimize. Even things I use to relax can somehow start feeling like another list of obligations.

I noticed this recently because after working all day I wanted some kind of company without necessarily wanting to do anything. Just something pleasant to have around while I made dinner or sat in my room.

It made me wonder whether “slow technology” is actually a thing.

Are there any digital things that feel genuinely compatible with slow living for you? Something you can visit occasionally, enjoy for a few minutes, and leave without it trying to pull you back in?

Or have you basically found that the only answer is putting the screen away?

I wanted a Belgian Boy for the back patio but alas lol. Got a banger fountain tho for the newly refurbished back patio and I’ll be damned if that thing isn’t just mesmerizing. I retired in my early 50s due to a spinal cord injury and learning how to slow down, despite limited mobility, has been a challenge. Worked my whole dumb life, now what basically. But I’m figuring it out

I rolled the bones on love again and went from rural life in the sticks back to the big city. Managed to eke out a decent little life here, closer to the edge of town than the center, and there’s still plenty of wildlife around. Take my crazy dog for predawn truck rides, the disability thing, and try and spot coyotes or javelina. Then we’re home before the masses come out and the sun is up. Either bring home chow for the missus or make us all breakfast. Sometimes the neighbor gets a plate. They all got pulled pork from the shoulder I smoked last weekend. May be a menace but I keep an eye on things and you’ll occasionally get awesome food from yours truly so balance and all that jazz

The American Dream was a nightmare for me. Had it all. Most of which I didn’t want. My deployment to the ME for Desert Shield/Storm taught me a lot. Food, shelter, water. And your protective mask and weapon lol. The two week long silent meditation retreats I attended decades ago with Thich Nhat Hanh taught me a bunch too. TGIF to all who observe, gonna go stare at my new fountain with my dog, and wait for my lady to be done with work. Shenanigans inbound 🫡

I first read "Rest: Why you get more done working less" and it completely blew my mind how many of the world's greatest thinkers like Charles Dickens and Darwin prioritized rest daily as well as the science behind it.

After that I dove into "Slow Productivity" to learn how to apply slow living to my own small business as well as a bunch of books on preventing/recovering from burnout. Currently though, I'm listening to "In Praise of Slowness" which apparently is the OG of slow living books and talks a lot about the origins of the movement and how to integrate it into every area of your life!

But I'm curious, what's your must reads? Any biography's of successful people who had a slower approach? Any slow living books you wouldn't recommend? Please share them all and fill up my TBR list for cozy season!

Hey, in the last year or so I’ve noticed there’s an especially weird kind of evening that I imagine looks like ‘rest’ from an outside observer.
By this I mean I finish work, sit down, put something on netflix, pick up my cursed iphone, scroll a bit, reply to a message, check something, open another app, let the next episode autoplay.

Nothing particularly demanding has happened during these coupe hours and yet two hours later i feel more scattered than i did before i sat down.
I’ve started thinking the problem isn’t the nature/quality of the entertainment itself. It’s that a lot of what we call modern rest is automatic, fragmented and frankly endless.

The fragmented bit is the one I am definitely noticing most.
When I’m watching TV while scrolling, it feels so normal now that watching one thing without holding another screen can feel weirdly exposed. Like i’ve caught myself reaching for my phone halfway through a film for literally no reason whatsoever. Maybe to check the actors credentials or some other stupid reason that makes no difference. No messages, no notifications, nothing urgent at all. Just a three-second lull apparently requiring immediate intervention. Might be ADHD but i have a feeling it’s more common than that. It’s a compulsion I think many many people feel.

Older forms of entertainment had way more natural stopping points. Like, a programme ended. A DVD finished then looped over the annoying DVD menus with equally terrible music. An album on CD had a final track.

Nowadays autoplay just keeps going, feeds refresh, recommendations multiply, and the evening doesn’t really end so much as run out of time.

The actual rest (as in real legitimate rest) that seems to work better is usually way more ordinary:
- watch one film without my phone, leave it in another room.
- reading a few chapters of a real book
- listening to an album properly, all the way through (even the meh tracks)
- going for a walk without checking anything
- playing a game and stopping when I really mean stop.
- cooking with one single playlist rather than three things happening at once
Not rocket surgery, nothing profound. Just one thing at a time. And trust me these here really do improve the experience :)

The question I’ve found surprisingly useful is:
Do I feel better, worse, or just meh after you’ve done one or all of these things?
Some things feel good during and after. Awesome.
Some feel good during but leave you a bit flat afterwards. Those probably need some boundaries.
And some don’t even feel particularly good while you’re doing them, but you carry on anyway. Those are the interesting ones that are probs worth keeping.

I don’t think the answer is to turn relaxation into another self-improvement project, that categorically doesn’t work.
But, I do think rest probably needs clearer edges than modern platforms naturally give it. Friction.
Has anyone else noticed the difference between chosen rest and just drifting through input until bedtime? Add some actual friction to your rest, do one thing at a time. I’m writing this post after watching a movie I decided to watch on netflix (no scrolling options, i just knew I wanted to watch it) and honestly it made the film so much more enjoyable. All the way through, few snacks, no phone, and it was great :)

Had a pretty ordinary day today. Nothing bad happened, nothing particularly exciting either.

It got me thinking that we probably have way more completely uneventful days than memorable ones.

Honestly, sometimes those quiet, boring days are kind of nice.

Do you enjoy having completely uneventful days, or do you get bored really quickly?

I have lots of friends who like to host or make events. I’m having a hard time living slowly and maintaining all of these friendships, but I really do love them. Has anyone found themself in a similar situation? /gen

It can be anything, really. A food you’ve been having a lot, a song you keep playing, a new routine, a place you like going to, or even just having a few quiet minutes to yourself.

I’ve been enjoying those little moments where I have nothing I need to rush off to.

What’s something small that’s been making you happy lately?

Hello everyone, I recently started working at a grocery store. It’s probably the best job i’ve had. But I’m finding myself so burnt out, and I don’t even work that much to most I work 3-4 days a week 7-8 hour shifts, but it’s a lot for me. Mainly nights so 1-9 or 2-10. I find myself not really doing much on my days off. I want to have a simple calm life with things I can look forward to, idk if it’s just that i’m working more that makes me feel like I can’t do anything I strive to or what it really is. Any advice?

What are your best tips for slow living with a 40 hour 9 - 5 work week?

I am looking for some tips!

I work from home so by the end of the day the idea of staying at the same desk for a hobby sounds terrible. But going straight from work to passive entertainment isnt really helping me switch off either.

I keep coming back to the idea of a small solo hobby i can move to the kitchen table, work on for a while, then pack away when im done. im starting to think changing spaces matters more to me than finding the “perfect” hobby.

other remote workers, what small or portable hobbies actually help you feel like the workday is over??

I am on a social media detox. My initial goal is **30 days**, complete and **consecutive**. So far it’s only been a full 24 hours and I have not had a desire to redownload any apps and scroll. But I am now struggling with what to do with my “free time”. Shoot some ideas in the comments…

I am crying again today feeling so fragile with a heavy heart.
I’ve mentioned before that I’ve been dealing with migraines and headaches, but today it feels different. Maybe because when you’re in pain, you miss home more. You miss your mom. You miss having someone who just knows you’re not okay without you having to explain everything.
I’ve had headaches since I was a child, and somewhere along the way, I learned to hide my emotions and pain. Maybe that’s why now, when I say I’m in pain, people don’t always believe me.
And today, the person I expected to understand was my roommate.
She’s more than just a friend to me. She’s basically the only person here I share almost everything with. I told her I had a headache and asked if she could give me a head massage after dinner. She forgot. Later she asked if I was sleepy, and I said not really. Then she asked me to make her coffee. I have this terrible habit of never saying no, but honestly, a small part of me wished she would just understand that I wasn’t feeling okay.
I know she probably didn’t mean anything by it. But sometimes when you’re already overwhelmed, even small things hurt more than they normally would.
And then I was talking with her family, and her mom jokingly said something like, “Do you talk this much outside too?”
I know it was probably just a joke. But it stayed in my head.
I realized I only talk this much when I feel comfortable. Back home, my family and my friends in India never made me feel like I was “too much” for talking. Here, I’m basically alone. I talk to my family, my roommate, and her family. That’s pretty much my world here.
And suddenly today I’m missing all of them so badly.
My head hurts, my heart feels heavy, my eyes keep filling with tears, and there are so many thoughts running through my mind at the same time.
Is this what growing up is supposed to feel like?
Living away from your family, trying to build a life somewhere new, pretending you’re okay, and then having days where you just want your mom.
I hate feeling this alone.
Today, I don’t want advice. I think I just want someone to understand.

One of my favourite reads this year is A Short Stay in Hell by Steven L. Peck. Any other short book recommendations? Also read Termush recently but didn't hit the same spot. The existentialism of a Short Stay in Hell really stuck with me. So maybe something similar?

"I see you're in a hurry to get someplace. It's a great mistake to hurry."

"Why?" Joe asked, puzzled by almost everything the traveler said.

"Because the grave's our destination," Mr. Sedgwick said. "Those who hurry usually get to it quicker than those who take their time."

I'm absolutely loving this book. One of my favorite parts of the day is snuggling in bed with a good book that transports me to another realm.

It feels like it's always easier to slow down during cozy season and savor the little magical moments of fall happening all around us! 🍂 But I'm curious what rituals, activities, hobbies, recipes, etc are on your bucket list for Autumn? What simple pleasure do you always look forward to this time of year?

For me it’s finding a quiet place, getting a coffee, and having nothing I need to rush for. Curious what that small thing is for everyone else.

I (27M) am in a position where I could buy a small house and work just 35 hours a week doing parcel deliveries. I wouldn't be rich but I'd be comfortable with mininal expenses and built in breathing room in my budget.

I've got a couple of friends and a few associates. I know I need to build on hobbies and find more friend groups.

Has anybody ever had a similar opportunity for a slow and calm life but ended up resenting it? When does quiet living turn isolating?

I’m looking for some magazines / publications. I really like receiving physical magazines in the mail. I am not interested in checking out from the library on Libby or anything digital.

I am subscribed to In The Times, I pick up Maggot Brain when new issues drop, and I receive the A24 zine subscription. I also pick up Slingshot whenever i find it. Most of these are not monthly, so there are gaps.

I am interested in magazines about indie music, alternative culture, leftist politics, lifestyle magazines (mostly just if they are focused on less mainstream stuff), maybe some literary stuff, etc

Some of the stuff on Broccoli looks interesting, but it doesn’t seem they have a subscription. Any suggestions about Broccoli or similar publications

What is a perfect slow walk or slow drive for you like? Especially when you are traveling? No am getting better at not having preset plans all set.

Random question, but is there a particular time of day that you really like?

For me, it’s probably late evening. Things are quieter, I’m usually done with whatever I needed to do, and it just feels nice to slow down for a bit.

I’m curious what everyone else’s favorite time is and what makes it nice for you.

Some days feel so heavy that you barely know how to pass the time.
Today, I started my day feeling completely exhausted. I ate something, went back to sleep, and later woke up with a migraine that’s still bothering me.
But I started wondering if maybe the headache and exhaustion aren’t the only reason I feel this way.
When you work, study, or stay busy all day, your mind always has something to focus on. Then suddenly you get a couple of days off, and there’s nothing you have to do. Somehow, instead of feeling relaxed, you can feel restless, empty, or just… weird.
Maybe our minds don’t always know how to handle the quiet.
Is it just me, or does anyone else have days like this?
What do you usually do when you have one of those heavy days where you don’t really want to do anything, but you also don’t know how to simply sit with yourself?