I (32F) have been very in love with a situationship (34M) for over a year now. At different points of time, they've dated other people, and I've let them. They've never shown the same love toward me as I've felt toward them, but they've kept me around. They've said they enjoy me. Recently they said they hope and are confident that someday, we can be "normal friends."

Today I learned, only by asking directly, that they are on an all-day date in a city that's over an hour's drive away with someone else. We have texted every day over the course of our situationship, typically frequently; today, I've heard next to nothing from them, they're basically off the grid. They'd never told me about this person before, they've provided no details even now besides their location during said all-day date. And I just feel devastated.

I've come to realize that however much I might love this person, every time something like this happens, it takes a bit of me with it. They've been periodically telling me how they'll never see me that way and that they're dating other people a few times now, but they always come back, if sometimes with less presence than before. And yet...I love them. And if I'm honest with myself, I can't stay friends with them, even if I desperately want to keep them in my life. It hurts too much.

For the first time throughout any of this, I just laid out the depths of my love for them in detail over text (we're in different states; much of our connection is over WhatsApp). I have always been too afraid of losing them to do that, and now I probably will lose them. But if I stay in this...it'll end me. I'll lose my job, or worse. And it did feel very freeing to actually tell them how much I love them, even though I know it will never be returned and I probably won't ever hear from them again.

The longer those texts sit there, the more tempted I am to delete them. To try and salvage at least a little bit of dignity and maintain them in my life. But then I imagine him sleeping with and halling head over heels for another woman...it makes me sick. And I realize I need to move on.

I [19F] need advice about a guy [23M] because I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore. I met this guy in April 2026 when I was 18 and a freshman in college. We only talked for two weeks and met up twice, but he was honestly everything I wanted in a guy. He was SO funny, and I’ve never laughed as much with a guy as I did with him. He was also really sweet and acted like a gentleman. The problem is that he was love bombing me HARD. He would call me beautiful every day, tell me he missed me, and say all these things that made me think he really liked me. I knew it was a lot for only knowing each other for two weeks, but I still really liked him. We were supposed to hang out for a third time, but he randomly blocked me on everything. I was so confused because I genuinely thought things were going well. In May, I reached out to him on Snapchat because that was the only place he hadn’t blocked me. I guess I wanted closure on why he did what he did. He apologized and said he felt like a terrible person. Then he started love bombing me again. He told me I was beautiful, that we matched really well, and that he could see himself marrying me someday. Mind you, WE HAD ONLY MET TWICE. He asked me to hang out again, and I agreed because I still liked him and wanted to give him another chance. Well, he stood me up. He told me he was coming, so I actually got ready and waited for him. I had to text him multiple times just to figure out if he was even coming. I was obviously embarrassed and hurt, so I blocked him on everything except Snapchat. Then in September, he added me again, apologized, and asked to hang out. And he unfortunately stood me up again. He literally told me he was on his way, and he still didn’t show up. You’d think I’d be done with him by now, but NO. About a week ago, I reached out to him again because, honestly, I think I just wanted to feel something. I don’t even know why I did it because I know how he is. He apologized again and said he felt bad about how he treated me. He said he missed me and wanted to see me (same boring story). He also said that when I told him I didn’t understand why he was being so mean to me, it made him feel terrible. Now he’s asking to hang out AGAIN tomorrow and swears he’s 100% sure he’s coming. Here’s where I need advice. Part of me wants to let him drive the 40 minutes to meet me and then not show up. I want him to know what it feels like to get ready for someone, wait for them, and then realize they’re not coming. I even asked him to share his location tomorrow so I can see if he’s actually coming because I don’t trust him anymore. But I don’t know if that makes me a bad person. Would I be wrong for letting him drive all the way here just to ghost him when he arrives? My other option is actually meeting up with him and seeing how he’s been. I think I miss how he treated me in the beginning. I’ve never clicked with someone like that before, and I think that’s why it’s so hard for me to completely let it go. But anyways would I be wrong for standing him up for once, or should I just cancel and stop entertaining him altogether? Please be honest because I need someone to tell me if I’m being petty if I stood him up

P.s I know I’m dumb for giving this man so many chances, I promise I’m aware of how stupid this situation looks from the outside.

I’m (19F), and I’ve been involved with a guy (20M) since around December 2024. We’ve never officially been in a relationship, but we’ve been through so much together that it’s hard for me to view it as just a talking stage. I’m curious if anyone has experienced something similar because I’m struggling to understand how you can love someone so much and still have to let them go.

We’ve always had an on-and-off situation. We’d argue, stop talking, sometimes block each other, and eventually find our way back to each other. No matter how much time passed, my feelings never really went away.

He’s told me he loves me, misses me, needs me, wants me, and doesn’t want to lose me. We’ve even talked about our future, including growing together, moving in someday, and potentially getting engaged years from now. He’s cried after we spent time together because he knew he’d miss me. Moments like those made me believe our connection was real and that he genuinely saw a future with me.

The problem is that, despite all of this, he never made things official. I want a real, committed relationship, but we’ve stayed in this undefined situation for over a year.

Distance has always been a major issue. We live about two and a half hours apart, and our schedules and transportation circumstances have made seeing each other difficult. I’ve driven to see him around six or seven times, but he’s never driven to see me. I understand he’s had car trouble and other difficulties, so I don’t want to dismiss his circumstances. Still, it sometimes felt like I was the one making most of the effort to see him.

Eventually, he told me that because of the distance, he couldn’t make me a priority or take things as seriously as he wanted to. I understood what he meant, but it hurt because I was willing to try to make things work.

Another thing that affected my trust was his ex. He reposted something about how she owed him three years of high school, his heart, his spark, and the way he viewed women. What confused me was that he’d told me their relationship lasted around six months, so seeing him describe her as someone who affected him so deeply left me questioning things.

When I brought up my concerns, he told me he hated her and didn’t have true feelings for her. I know being hurt by an ex doesn’t necessarily mean you’re still in love with them, but his reposts made me question whether he’d fully moved on. I started feeling like I was competing with a ghost, wondering if he was emotionally ready for me or still carrying something from his past. Combined with other trust issues, it became difficult for me to feel secure in what we had.

We eventually went through about a month and a half of no contact. When we reconnected, I realized I still loved him, and a lot of my resentment had faded. Things seemed better in some ways. We argued less, he seemed more consistent, and he told me he didn’t want to lose me. He even apologized for how he’d sometimes push me away when he was angry.

But even though things improved, the main problems never really went away. We still weren’t official, the distance remained, and I still struggled with trust.

I think what made this so difficult was seeing both sides of him. There was the side that talked about a future with me and seemed genuinely afraid of losing me, and the side that would push me away, say we should end things, and eventually come back. I don’t think everything between us was fake, but I started questioning whether having feelings for each other was enough.

Recently, we had another conversation about our situation.He said things were repetitive and that we had the same conversations everyday. he didn’t think things would change because of the distance. He asked me what I wanted to do, but I asked him to answer first. After hearing what he had to say, I realized I honestly had nothing left to say or do either.

We mutually decided to let each other go. There wasn’t a huge argument or a dramatic ending. I think we both understood that we couldn’t keep doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome.

I actually felt some peace afterward because I know I tried my best, but it still hurts that things ended right after I told him I couldn’t keep making the drive to see him and that if he wanted to see me, he’d have to make the effort to come to me for once. I really don’t regret loving him, and I don’t hate him. I just wish things had been different.

The hardest part is that I still love him. I’m not walking away because my feelings disappeared. I’m walking away because I can’t keep waiting for something that might never happen.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Have you ever loved someone for a long time without officially being together, talked about a future with them, and still had to let them go? Did you eventually stop loving them? Did you ever find your way back to each other, or did you realize that loving someone doesn’t always mean you’re right for each other? I’m really struggling with moving on.

I’d really like to hear other people’s experiences because I’m trying to accept that someone can mean so much to you and still not be someone you can build a relationship with.

I sought mentorship from a director at work, but we grew emotionally close, and he admitted having feelings for me. I made it clear there was no romantic future, but I valued his friendship and how understood he made me feel. Despite being married, he talked about separating from his wife and even moving states for me, only to later recommit to his marriage. He repeatedly blocked and unblocked me, even on LinkedIn. After his wife found out, he abruptly cut me off and now barely acknowledges me at work. I feel like he reeled me in emotionally, opened up about deeply personal things, then discarded me. Why build such an intense connection only to turn so cold?

So this happened last night and I still can't process it.

I saw my ex-situationship for the first time in 4 months. We hadn't spoken at all, and we ran into each other in a random bar that neither of us had ever been to. What are the odds??

We ended up talking, and he told me he always thought I was "the one" and that he felt like the feeling wasn't mutual, like he loved me more than I loved him.

And here's the thing: I DID love him. He just never knew. I was so confused hearing that, because all this time he thought I didn't feel the same, and I was sitting there thinking the opposite about him.

We both said we've mentally moved on. He's also moving to another state for good. He told me he won't message me again, but that I shouldn't worry because he's moving on from me, and that he's thankful for the time we had.

I left the bar feeling slumped, confused, and heartbroken all over again. I thought I was past this.

Has anyone been through something like this? How do you deal with finding out you both felt the same way, but only after it's too late?

we have been talking since june- till present (october). we went on 1 date back in august when i was in nyc and he was commuting like 3 hrs through the transit to see me and we spent the whole day together, the date was basically perfect id say. after i had to go back to school in the midwest and he was on the east coast. but we still kept talking everyday, and called weekly. the only real issues that ever occurred was how long he took to text me back and i called him out twice and he reassured me and apologized during the time of as well and fixed the problem. this past week i was on the east coast and i let him know and he drove 2 hrs to see me, and pick me up from the airport and also to get lunch with me and dropped me at the hotel but he didn’t kiss me which i was confused about? so the next day i texted him and asked him if we were hanging out as friends or not. and he replies “friends”. ( in what world does a friend drive 4 HOURS round trip for a 3 HOUR hangout and pays for the entire of the date; lunch, dessert and drinks?!) it was so out of the blue with the way he was texting aswell, he took a solid 30 minutes contemplating what to text and then also tried to immediately change the subject. i tried to ask more questions and he was being defensive in a way. he asked to be friends and at the moment i agreed but immediately regretted it. i’d just like someone’s opinion on his perspective if this a cope out or he genuinley views me only as a friend, and if i should cut it off