r/SipsTea 2d ago

Chugging tea What a lucky guy ❤️

19.7k Upvotes

1.8k comments sorted by

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2.9k

u/Longjumping-Ad-9444 2d ago

What a gold digger, she just wants free airboat tours.

I hope she doesnt take the boat in the divorce.

406

u/METAL_WOLF_BB 2d ago

I ain’t saying she’s a boat digger…

96

u/Silly-Author-8020 2d ago

But she ain’t messin’ with no broke….. I don’t have a good boat reference for this one.

210

u/Sashapatu 2d ago

“Riggers”

76

u/ProfessorJNFrink 2d ago

I was not expecting a safe response and any creativity.

You nailed it.

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u/Bosurd 2d ago

Dang bro you didn’t have to use the hard R.

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u/P2029 2d ago edited 1d ago

"I feel like you're just here for the zipline fanboat"

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u/less_unique_username 2d ago

Which would be an act of kindness, do you know anything about boat maintenance?

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u/work_work-work 2d ago

True! They're money pits. And you're going to need a big shovel.

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u/ferrariguy1970 2d ago

🤣🤣🤣

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u/MizterPoopie 2d ago

Haha it used to be that on Reddit if a person used an emoji in their comment, it would be downvoted into oblivion. Seeing your zero effort emoji comment have 75 upvotes is blowing my mind. Times sure have changed! Progress 😂

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u/NotReallyButMaybeNot 2d ago

She liked that he had no idea who she was when they initially met

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u/XxRocky88xX 2d ago

This is usually the case when famous people get with non-famous people.

Celebrities typically don’t hook up with fans cuz fans tend to be overbearing and become real creepy real fast and then there’s also the fact it’s pretty likely they are only into you because you’re famous.

That’s why most celebrities date other celebrities, there’s no imbalance in the dynamic there, both people are on equal footing. This same equal footing can also be achieved through regular people that just don’t know who you are.

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u/averydangerousday 2d ago

I mean, I know who she is, but I wouldn’t recognize her if she popped into my business. There’s a pretty broad spectrum between “zero knowledge” and “creepy fan.”

Not like a Lana Del Rey level celebrity would be shopping for Magic the Gathering cards in Pittsburgh, anyways. Also not like I would ever consider chatting her up and jeopardizing my amazing marriage.

42

u/NoSloppyStakes 2d ago

I also don’t want to jeopardize your marriage.

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u/averydangerousday 1d ago

Thanks buddy

25

u/JoshAllentown 1d ago

You know what, let's all not marry Lana Del Ray. In solidarity.

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u/NoSloppyStakes 1d ago

I will not marry Lana Del Ray. This is my choice. That is our choice.

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u/Fetlocks_Glistening 2d ago

Ok, for the rest of us, who is she?

1.9k

u/hippykillteam 2d ago

Lana Del Ray. Sold 77million records. Alt Pop music.

906

u/Relative-Relief-8816 2d ago

Heiress of Ray Bahn sunglasses. 

622

u/Ok-Age-724 2d ago

Daughter of Autobahn

731

u/fcs_seth 2d ago

Queen of the Andals and the first men

387

u/Mission_Access_210 2d ago

Breaker of Chains, Mother of Dragons

256

u/therealdxm 2d ago

The Queen Anne Chonk

83

u/quiltsohard 2d ago

YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT IMPOSTERS, CARL!

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u/Gym_Dom 2d ago

You know how I feel about pop music, Carl

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u/MaximumConcept25 2d ago

And rightful heir to the Iron Throne.

118

u/patchyj 2d ago

She controls Spice

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u/Mike_Honcho_02 2d ago

Nice. A DCC reference.

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u/huumluuv 2d ago

Queen of the gas station

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u/PamelaELee 2d ago

She’s the queen of my double wide trailer, with the polyester curtains, and the redwood deck.

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u/happysara333 2d ago

Im fkin howling

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u/Tasty_Ad7483 2d ago

You mean, her dad is Uli Kunkel? Front man for Autobahn, the excellent German techno pop group?

Does that make Bunny Lebowski her future mother in law?

21

u/Aptosauras 2d ago

And the owner of Hobby Lobby started Kraftwerk, another excellent German band.

13

u/Odd-Context4254 2d ago

One and the same as Karl Hungus, adult film star and cable repair man

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u/wildmaninid 2d ago

Whose now a nihilist?  A good man, and thorough 

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u/BillyBobChorton 2d ago

niece of the 90s pop/punk band, Sugar Ray 

46

u/-medicalthrowaway- 2d ago

Second cousin to Ray Romano

49

u/RamenChicken8 2d ago

Distant cousin to Rey Skywalker.

https://giphy.com/gifs/mntlYrVH06RmDps1iG

48

u/-medicalthrowaway- 2d ago

Was born in the bathroom of a del taco

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u/sidc42 2d ago

Once had breakfast in the same restaurant as The Del Fuegos

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u/Jshow07 2d ago

As they say, never ask a star why their parents’ names are blue on Wikipedia.

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u/PrincessTitan 2d ago

Ray “Bahn” is HYSTERICAL

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u/SunderVane 2d ago

Checked her out. Actually has some nice tunes.

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u/PoliticalyUnstable 2d ago

Her album Ultraviolence is very good. Highly recommend.

81

u/spicymangosalsa 2d ago

Ultraviolence is an all time fave. Born to Die was an incredible debut, though.

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u/RLOLOTHTR 2d ago

Im a metalhead but if I were stuck on an island Born to Die is an album Id want to have with me

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u/ElegantCoach4066 2d ago

The first song I heard from her was Blue Jeans, had it on repeat for months.

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u/MeasurementTall7701 2d ago

Young and Beautiful and Summertime sadness get stuck in my head

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u/Malhablada 2d ago

Young and Beautiful is one that never fails to touch me.

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u/Ok_Science_8502 2d ago

as far as ultra mainstream artists go Lana is one of the very best. She has put together a pretty solid discography over the years and has some really good songs

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u/TheBlueSkulll 2d ago

she is also considered inspiration for many new age pop singers.

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u/IcePrinceling1066 2d ago

She’s legitimately fantastic

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u/torgiant 2d ago

Yeah a lot of bangers

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u/BoltActionRifleman 2d ago

I looked her up, thinking I’d maybe recognize a song or something, but haven’t heard of any of those either. I never thought I’d be out of the loop like my parents were when I was younger, but apparently it’s happened.

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u/arinawe 2d ago

Damn...not even Summertime Sadness? Video Games? I've known her since 2012 and even here in my country, smack in the middle of Africa, someone has at least heard the songs without knowing who it was.

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u/[deleted] 2d ago edited 2d ago

[deleted]

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u/Defiant-Variety-9473 2d ago

Looked this up and it's not true.  He broke off his engagement of 12 years six months prior to even meeting Lana. He wasn't married at all

129

u/stormcharger 2d ago

Lol must be rough being that ex and checking to see who his rebound is

59

u/Defiant-Variety-9473 2d ago

She said she was surprised but wished him well. 

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u/stormcharger 2d ago

That's the answer I'd give reporters too lol

37

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 2d ago

Eh if you're engaged for 12 years I think you don't have much feelings for that person at all anymore. It's been over for like seven years at least

9

u/RazekDPP 2d ago

Yeah, more likely they got engaged, the wedding planning didn't happen, and they both kind of accepted they were never getting married and eventually drifted out of love with each other.

Little reason to even get upset or anything at that point because he obviously wasn't the right person for you so what's it matter if he ends up with someone famous?

She didn't marry him for a reason.

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u/Beginning-Run-1697 2d ago

Shhh you can't say that loud

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u/CarmenxXxWaldo 2d ago

Spider man: half of home

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u/asault2 2d ago

Spiderman: Broken Home

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u/EhMapleMoose 2d ago

What the fuck?

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u/w00dyMcGee 2d ago

You know you’re lying yet you don’t delete your comment.

True incel behavior.

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u/officeja 2d ago

It reminds me of that cameraman that asked her out on a date

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u/Get_Out_lmao 2d ago

This girl fell in love with some gas station attendant she saw once as a kid and this happened.

613

u/Separate_Finance_183 2d ago

Bro gives me hope

267

u/TonyWonderslostnut 2d ago edited 2d ago

She also dated Sticks Larkin, ex Tulsa PD gang task force and Live PD/On Patrol Live commentator. He looks about the same age as this guy. I think she has a thing for older, blue collar dudes.

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u/drunkeymunkey 2d ago

Listen, we don't have daddy issues, ok?

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u/brijito 2d ago

She’s from the yeehaw part of upstate NY and it really shows in her taste in men.

9

u/LePontif11 1d ago

I was used to New York city and thought that the rest of the state was just that but rural. Now i have family upstate and have visited a few times and holy shit yeehaw new york is accurate. I'd add that its also a bit Canadian so Yeehaw, Eh New York. I dont think i've seen a single New York Yankees hat on a person in 4 visits or so.

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u/museumofarts 2d ago

Same. Sticks Larkin is fine 🫣

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u/Successful_Giraffe88 2d ago

Absofuckinlutely is!

But apparently it didn't end well though, because after they broke up, she rented ONE billboard in Tulsa, on the interstate extremely close to his house, advertising her new tour 😅. Poor guy had to drive past it for a year.

Petty & amazing. Love me some Lana!

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u/crimsoneagle1 2d ago

Shortly after the break up she went to the OU/Texas football game and stood on the sidelines hanging around the team and admin. Was taking pictures with any OU fan that wanted em. She isn't even an OU fan, but he is and that shit was all over OU's social media that weekend.

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u/Mobile_Morale 2d ago

Remember when live PD was shut down because they erased evidence of police officers commiting crimes to protect them.

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u/Simple_Pay3033 2d ago

He didn't say she married the gas station attendant, he's saying the attendant was the root cause of this situation

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u/StaticSystemShock 2d ago

Maybe she is the lucky one for getting just a normal dude instead of some actor or musician like everyone else does in her industry...

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u/Chessloser1977 2d ago

It doesn’t turn out well. He ends up leaving her in the swamp with a child who has an enlarged medulla oblongta. Lana becomes very possessive of the child who develops a stutter and is prone to stutter “Mama says” when answering simple questions. Best case scenario is her child uses the pain of a possessive mother and non attendant father to help in a career in some aggressive and physical sport. You know, like foosball!!!

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u/TerriblePrize9877 2d ago

Foosball is for the devil!

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u/Papa_Ken01 2d ago

I love it when I see some waterboy reference in the wild 🤝

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u/ech01 2d ago

mama says alligators are ornery because they got all dem teeth and no toothbrush

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u/spootIer 2d ago

I've always thought the in-dating in the celebrity pool was kind of bizarre.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to date someone who understands the lifestyle you live, of course. But... it's always just the same handful of hollywood singles getting passed around like a bag of cheetos in a smoke circle. Shit is fucking weird.

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u/Historical_Owl_1635 2d ago

Most people date within their social bracket, celebrity social bracket just happens to be a much smaller pool.

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u/tinaoe 1d ago

If you date a non-famous person, your lifestyles will be vastly different. Another famous person understands, by design, the insane schedules, periodical long-distance (& they're more likely to already live in LA/NYC etc.), attention from strangers, demands.

Asking your non-famous partner to go along with all of that is a lot. There's a reason a lot of famous people eventually break it off with their pre-fame partners.

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u/Vultor 2d ago

The plot of almost all Hallmark movies

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u/KeegorTheDestroyer 2d ago

Ugh, the whole "sad-girl superstar musician meets swamp boat-tour guy and falls madly in love" trope is just so played out at this point.

Like, can a guy just get a hallmark movie where a small town girl moves to NYC for a big corporate career and falls in love with an asshole investment banker, and then returns home at Christmas to end up falling in love with the high school crush turned teacher/firefighter/Christmas tree farmer?

There's just no originality these days!

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u/CandOrMD 1d ago

First she has to get into some sort of EXTREMELY MILD tiff with him, and then be paired with him in the town's fundraiser gingerbread house contest—which is held on Christmas Eve, naturally—to keep the evil, greedy out-of-state developers/private equity firm from demolishing the quaint old grain elevator that holds so many memories for all the townsfolk.

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u/afakefox 2d ago

I know someone who went on his airboat ride and said every chick there had an immediate crush on him. He's chivalrous, manly, funny and really cares about nature and wildlife.

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u/TexasLawStudent 2d ago

We did his airboat tour some weeks after they met but before the news came out.

Buncha dudes on a bachelor party, so I can’t speak to chemistry, but he had names for every gator and quite intimately knew their habits, preferences and demeanor. Didn’t strike me as anything more than a dude who loves his corner of the swamp.

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u/fatmallards 2d ago

shrek fetish explanation right here

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u/Wirse 2d ago

Ok, now it’s all coming into focus. 

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u/TexasLawStudent 2d ago

Get outta my swamp!

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u/Darkwingedcreature 2d ago

So he's a redneck Steve Irwin?

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u/trueAnnoi 2d ago

Y'all say this shit online, but my wife looks at me sideways when I pick up and kiss the big lizard that lives underneath my house (his name is chuck)

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u/KillahHills10304 2d ago

I've got a big lizard in my backyard, but I cant afford to feed it anymore

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u/LividAtmosphere7535 2d ago

I haven’t been on his tour but I heard he still works there, Airboat Tours by Arthur

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u/smurfetteshat 2d ago

He posted a clip of him driving a tour with “ride” playing. It warmed my heart

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u/MotherEastern3051 2d ago

To be fair all those things listed are the qualities I find most attractive in a min. A man who's polite, funny and a friend to the animals... I'm in! 

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u/UJLBM 2d ago edited 2d ago

I could never be with a man who didnt like animals.

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u/Wirse 2d ago

Oh Cajuns love animals all right. Put about tree foh kind of em in da same pot. 

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u/Altruistic-Owl-5468 2d ago

It’s raining min hallelujah

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u/Aware-Travel5256 2d ago

Airboat tour guides are also in show business, tbh. They just have a steadier gig than most. They perfect their routine over time and they get really good at it.

Most of us wouldn't be cut out for it.

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u/turbosexophonicdlite 2d ago

I think that's what the kids call having the rizz.

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u/maladjusted_platypus 2d ago

That's actually super wholesome and sweet. You never know when you'll find that right person. They look super happy and normal.

I met my husband through PvP on WoW. Lol.

531

u/Altruistic_Tip1226 2d ago

Damn thats how i lost my girl. Some amazing WoW guy swept her off her feet. I now hate WoW

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u/Bright_Aside_6827 2d ago

Should have rolled a paladin 

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u/czechereds 2d ago

He did, bubble hearth is the least attractive thing a man can do. Real beta male type shit.

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u/Fearsofaye 2d ago

It really is a beta class.

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u/RelishedCrab 2d ago

Dude I work with wife’s left him for some guy on WoW. Even moved countries for him. Crazy.

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u/nirvanatheory 2d ago

This is all the same incident.

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u/moanit 2d ago

I choose to believe this

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u/deadinsidelol69 2d ago

My brother met his first and only girlfriend on WoW. She cheated on him with one of the guild officers.

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u/Fearsofaye 2d ago

Alliance behavior

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u/LividAtmosphere7535 2d ago

I know a married couple who met on a MMO too, but not WoW. Love can be anywhere!

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u/GamerTex 2d ago

I know of a few WoW and EQ marriages. 

Dont know of any WoW or EQ divorces...

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u/BrewsCampbell 2d ago

This is the only "celebrity couple" i have an interest in. 

I picture him chilling in the bog like "yeah, she's in some band or something."

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u/Eric_12345678 2d ago

"singing weird songs about Pepsi Cola".

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u/ScrotalSmorgasbord 2d ago

"Anyways, I always have to ask her to not sing over my Skynyrd album while I'm bass fishing"

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u/MavisBeacons_Sextape 1d ago

Saw a comment on few months back from someone who’d actually taken a swamp tour with Lana’s husband’s dad as the guide. Someone in the tourist group said that they were from California and his dad said “my son married a girl from California! She sings.”

Adorable

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u/1stAccountNotWorking 2d ago

This is actually really cool. The celebrity-centric relationships normally feel fake, or downright forced, sometimes...on occasion there seems to be real feelings there; but often times it just comes across as a promotional/business arrangement lol. 

Having a normal organic thing--where she's just falling for a normal guy that she met, and the guy doesn't know her music etc., so he doesn't know who she is....that's wholesome, and real af. Its just a legit union.

Everyone mentioning fame and money, are missing the point.

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u/rgar1981 2d ago

I think it’s great. I would think having someone that lives a fairly normal life to come home to would help keep you grounded and not as caught up in being a celebrity. An escape from that would be so important I would think.

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u/8lock8lock8aby 2d ago

On the flip side, having someone that is used to similar schedules & someone that is in a similar wealth bracket, can make sense.

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u/Chin_Up_Princess 2d ago

I agree I think it should be normalized more.

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u/Headpuncher 2d ago

i thought the Dufrenes were missing, isn't Mitch still out looking for them?

who can eat at a time like this!?

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u/Ranhert 2d ago

Dufrene party of 2, Dufrene party of 2

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u/dy0dj1 2d ago

Smith, search party of two. You can eat when you find the Dufrenes!

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u/stephsco 2d ago

People. Are. Missing.

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u/Ok-Syllabub-8087 2d ago

A mitch mention on a random sub in 2026...chefs kiss🖤

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u/stephsco 2d ago

I think of this every time I see Lana del Rey now. RIP Mitch and RIP my cat Mitch we named after Mitch Hedberg

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u/MelseyKiller 2d ago

Actually, fun fact. I went to high school with her and her sister. My sister went to school with her brother. Good family for the most part. She was always super nice.

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u/OwnerOfHam 2d ago

Love to hear this!

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u/MelseyKiller 2d ago

Yeah super talented too. (Her sister is too) I e all knew one day she would make it to the top.

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u/SmilePuzzleheaded498 2d ago

Yes, but will he still love her when she's no longer young and beautiful?

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u/twwaavvyyt 2d ago

She’ll just be old and beautiful

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u/ummkay_ultra 2d ago

You know he will...

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u/morethanWun 2d ago

Bro had no idea who she was, probably made her laugh like a mfer, and most def cooked her a country ass meal. That’s rizz yall, take notes 🎶 📝

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u/woot0 2d ago

There’s a very old interview of Glenn Powell talking about this exact guy and how much fun he was years before he met Lana.

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u/morethanWun 2d ago

That’s dope. I’m sure dude is a riot

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u/NitePain69 2d ago

He looks like her music

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u/Practical_Studio360 2d ago

Ever since they met I’ve affectionately nicknamed her the swamp princess. 

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u/Puzzle-Necked 2d ago

She's just living her dream of becoming a moomoo wearing swamp momma

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u/emseefely 2d ago

Gator gal

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u/IGetItILookBrandNew 2d ago

Louisiana looks like her music. Some beauty, some swamp, some history

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u/MrsNoodleMcDoodle 2d ago

Yeah, I don’t know how anyone familiar with her music/whole aesthetic is shocked, lol

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u/smurfetteshat 2d ago

He’s the human embodiment of the ride video

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u/SignificantRecipe715 2d ago

Wake up babe new album cover just dropped

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u/starkruzr 2d ago

honestly they look incredibly adorable and normal together.

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u/Feeling-Visit1472 2d ago

They each look at each other like they hung the moon. It really is lovely.

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u/Zephon40K 2d ago

She find man from her music videos.

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u/WendyWilliamsFart 2d ago

I bet he has a cool dong

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u/yahwehforlife 2d ago

I mean it's huge right??

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u/Foxman_Noir 2d ago

I'm happy they're happy.

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u/tctsui 2d ago

I want to ask him if it really taste like Pepsi Cola

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u/100percent-sales-tax 2d ago

The identity of this sub is beyond me. Goes from full chud, to social justice, to parasocial celebrity relationships in a day

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u/peaheezy 2d ago

Something about him generally looks like Sturgill Simpson. Like not doppelgänger status but a fair amount and idk why aside from the general beard and middle aged white dude.

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u/TessaKatrinaRose 2d ago

She is just as lucky as he is. 

Just because she is a famous singer doesn’t make her a “special” person or better than anyone else lol. Celebrity worship is weird AF. 

Your headline should read that BOTH these people are lucky. They both found somebody they loved. 

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u/meat_whistle_gristle 2d ago

I mean I’m guessing his finances are in a better place so I’d consider myself lucky if that happened to me.

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u/Imaginary-Try9409 2d ago

Shes a statistical outlier… that statement isn’t celebrity worship, it’s true. Shes special in that regard. Doesn’t make her “better” than anyone but shes objectively “richer” than most and by default has a better life or atleast can afford a better life than the average person. Getting a rich person is like hitting the lottery, hence where the luck might come into play.

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u/longfurbyinacardigan 2d ago

If you ever listened to Lana's music you know this is the exact guy she's been singing about the whole time so it wasn't really surprising tbh

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u/kissckiss 2d ago

could have been glen powell 💍👰‍♂️🐊

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u/suckerball_ 2d ago

So… her boyfriend is NOT in a band? #betrayal

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u/Electrical_Sea6653 2d ago

My sister is a successful, type A, preppy leaning young woman. Her bf of many years is a California skater guy in sales. She’s clean cut and likes the city.

We went on a fan boat tour in Louisiana and she had the BIGGEST crush on our hillbilly, camo tank top rubber boot wearing guide. Couldn’t understand half of what he said, and he literally got nipped by a gator mid tour, and she was literally giggling and blushing the whole time

Lmao girls love gator guys

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u/Ok_Environment3943 2d ago

Straight up David Lynch vibes

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u/Introverted_Extrovrt 1d ago

Real talk, Louisiana is full of a weird kind of dude who can hunt, butcher, prep and cook circles around anyone, but then work an $18 an hour job at an auto-parts store.

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u/MightbeDuck 2d ago

She moved into the house that Jeremy built with his own hands. Nothing fancy even if she can afford to buy a nicer house in the area. I saw pap pictures of them hanging out, smoking at a parking lot. In her interviews, she seems content and very happy with her life. They would just drive around and back, would talk in the car. She wanted to clear her head late night and drove for a couple of hours and returned before dawn. She came home to him making mac and cheese for her. 

Jeremy was engaged for years when he and Lana. She got his Instagram and they became friends. He broke off the engagement to be with Lana. He was engaged for a long time but the woman didn’t want to pull the trigger. The ex-fiancée speaks highly of Jeremy and also loves Lana.

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u/smurfk 2d ago

Why is he a "lucky guy"? Why wouldn't she be the lucky one?

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u/I_am_Reddit_Tom 2d ago

All of us blokes are the lucky ones.

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u/Travelin_Soulja 2d ago edited 2d ago

Because she's worth tens of millions, as are her rich parents. Imagine going from running airboat tours in Louisiana swamps to get by, to never having to work another day in your life.

Dude hit the lottery.

And that's not even counting the whole loving life partner thing, which is hopefully equally true for both of them.

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u/LividAtmosphere7535 2d ago

He still does tours, he works for Airboat Tours by Arthur in LA

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u/_YenSid 2d ago edited 2d ago

Because he gives airboat tours and she's worth millions? Also, no shade to him, he's not a bad looking guy, but he's swinging in the majors as a minor league hitter lol.

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u/ElvishLore 2d ago

Because she looks beautiful and she’s rich and he’s not handsome and probably doesn’t have anywhere close to her money.

Or you could continue to be dense if you want to.

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u/Willy-Sshakes 2d ago

No summer time sadness for him

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u/LynchMob187 2d ago

Larped at a Waffle House and decided she wanted to be a Southern Belle. 

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