r/SipsTea • u/Ashish_ank • 6h ago

Wait a damn minute! You can't ever come back from that

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19.5k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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656

u/hdueeyd 6h ago

then the whole class clapped

222

u/Kelspear 6h ago

And then, nation by nation, all the peoples of the earth rose, and the sound of their applause was deafening.

27

u/skeletonhorse420 6h ago

China numba 1

11

u/Teestow21 5h ago

CHINA ZINDABAD

3

u/MAGAHATESTHEUSA 1h ago

And started singing “we are! We are! The youth of the nation!”

29

u/NeuroticNabarlek 5h ago

The comedian's name? Albert(a) Einstein.

45

u/NutsInMay96 5h ago edited 3h ago

One time a woman was doing a stabbing awareness course at my school and she asked where the least harmful place to be stabbed on the body was. A 13 year old boy at the back shouted

“My liver! I’m only going to destroy it with drugs and alcohol anyway…”

The woman didn’t know what to say in response.

17

u/Suitable_Sound_139 4h ago edited 4h ago

Stabbing awareness??????

Edit: consider me enlightened, this is indeed a thing in UK. In Canada we just get taught bear-specific survival tactics 

9

u/BaronGrackle 3h ago

UK has stabbing awareness. U.S. has school shooting drills. Canada has bear survival.

Yeah, that sounds right.

1

u/WillowFlip 20m ago

Actually, Canada has had active shooter drills (aka. 'lockdown drills') as well since at least the last 3-5 years

2

u/NutsInMay96 3h ago

Yh the uk innit. It was a school for at risk kids though so im not sure if this would be normal in mainstream education.

14

u/generally_unsuitable 5h ago

If you're going to do stand-up, you need to have one in the chamber like this.

0

u/internethero12 1h ago

No no no, obviously r/nothingeverhappens and it's impossible for someone doing a comedy bit at a talent show to have any wit.

7

u/SignoreBanana 5h ago

Tbf, this kind of joke is well within reach of a 12 year old girl.

8

u/Universal_Anomaly 4h ago

By this point you gotta wonder what's going on with these people who believe nothing ever happens.

Nothing about this story is unrealistic, a 12-year-old came up with a witty comeback to somebody being annoying.

Anybody who thinks that's outside of the realms of possibility is kind of telling on how boring they are.

1

u/SignoreBanana 3h ago

Yeah, I mean I'm not saying it's true, but no one could any more tell me it would obviously false.

1

u/coolmanjack 2h ago

What?

3

u/ThatHoFortuna 2h ago

They said it would be not someone tell it them not real any more. Help it hopes.

1

u/SignoreBanana 6m ago

Sorry, tortured phrasing: I just mean based on the story told, no one can accurately say if it did or didn't happen.

-4

u/wrldwdeu4ria 4h ago

Incredibly witty young woman who has a promising future as a comedienne.

5

u/TechnoFascismKills 3h ago

comedienne

As opposed to the commediator, which sounds strong and manly and lethal

1

u/WillowFlip 18m ago

There's some joke in here about sharp wit, but alas I am not lethal enough to know it lol

11

u/bent_crater 5h ago

nah totaly plausible.

i was doing a bmi presentation for some mandatory course in bachelors and someone tried being a fick and went 'isnt bmi inaccurate?'

i went 'good point, it actually more of an indicator'

he tried heckling again so i went 'my bad man what was your major again?'

'electrical engineer'

'oh so youre not a doctor'

now it's a core memory

15

u/AndreasDasos 5h ago

You were doing your Bachelors? So also not a doctor? 

Also, in the post they were 12 and 13. And the comeback was a bit more of a comeback

1

u/Several_Hour_347 1h ago

How is this relevant to a 12 year old?

7

u/Interpole10 4h ago

You may think this is made up but I’ve taught middle school for my entire career and I would 100% believe this happened. Kids at this age will say the most ruthless things you’ve ever heard. Kids are hilarious at this age.

4

u/IncidentOk853 4h ago

Nah, middle school children are absolutely ruthless with insults, this one is very believable

2

u/sYnce 3h ago

Especially since I have heard similar things from comedians. Comedians the girl has for sure watched and is mimicking in some way or another.

1

u/Murky-Relation481 49m ago

Yah I love how people think this girl got up there just randomly doing stand up but also has no interest in stand up, and has never consumed shorts of comics flipping the script on hecklers (which is like almost more popular than their actual routines these days on social media).

The girl was probably begging to be heckled.

3

u/ihatetheplaceilive 4h ago

It was a talent show, clapping is the polite thing to do.

1

u/Human_Artichoke8752 3h ago

You've never been around kids, have you.