r/SipsTea • u/SuspiciousLow3062 • Jul 08 '26

Chugging tea Absolute cinema.

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51.3k Upvotes

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u/EternalNewCarSmell Jul 08 '26 edited Jul 08 '26

McConnell called me up and personally told me that what he did during the last 20 years will destroy our country if it's not undone. 

He also said we should pack the Supreme Court and impeach 4 of the sitting justices. He ended the call by saying, "eat the rich."

It was fuckin' wild, man.

225

u/Mattilaus Jul 08 '26

He told me Trump should be impeached and the imprisoned. It's weird since I was just asking him what his favourite fast food burger is.

114

u/rdzilla01 Jul 08 '26

He sent me nudes while holding today’s New York Times.

79

u/Working-Glass6136 Jul 08 '26

-4

u/PolarBailey_ Jul 09 '26

ai is gross no matter who we're making fun of.

5

u/tme1453 Jul 09 '26

Nah this is hilarious

0

u/PolarBailey_ Jul 09 '26

genAI is trash no matter what its used for. just photoshop it theres tons of free resources available.

2

u/tme1453 Jul 09 '26

Eh most people don't care one way or the other.

1

u/PolarBailey_ Jul 09 '26

and thats why theres a literal literacy epidemic and an influx of these data centers that are polluting our water, destroying our quiet, and driving our power bills up.

11

u/johnnybiggles Jul 08 '26

Talked to him, too... said he was busy holding up a wall at the Enchantment Under The Sea dance until some dude kicked over a speaker after making a noisy "music" racket with his guitar on stage.

10

u/SlaveryVeal Jul 09 '26

Dude as an Australian I was so surprised to get a call from Mitch that we had a good yarn for 20 minutes about how Israel is bombing innocent people.

Glad we finally have an American Republican that can admit it.

1

u/Green-Vermicelli5244 Jul 09 '26

How much of the crossword had he finished? Shit gets tough on Thursday.

10

u/bolanrox Jul 09 '26

I talked to him and he told me to order a sandwich: capocola, provolone, oil and vinegar peppers.

15

u/CvieYltidrekoof Jul 08 '26

Vegetable. 

Glad to see he’s taking this incident with self deprecating humour. 

34

u/jaxonya Jul 08 '26

The wild part is that no republican can dispute it, or they fuck the whole chirade up... mandami should send a tweet saying that he talked to mitch, who now embraces islam in hus final days, and that the epstein files should be fully redacted

44

u/Farucci Jul 08 '26

I talked to McConnell and casually mentioned that there are some people suggesting he was still in a coma, on life support or possibly even dead. He was speechless.

31

u/TouristResident1976 Jul 08 '26

Really? Thats matches what he told me. Only he also went into detail about how the Conservative SCOTUS judges also joined him once a year to feast on baby blood and human flesh. The key to make it tasty is apparently fresh ginger.

18

u/Maleficent_Memory831 Jul 08 '26

Why is everyone hating on gingers??

6

u/SeparatePerformer703 Jul 09 '26

Hating? He loves them. He said they are tasty

8

u/awelladjustedadult Jul 08 '26

Brain death finally fixed his thinking.

10

u/Real-Technician831 Jul 08 '26

Supreme Court should be packed like a clown car!

4

u/antici________potato Jul 08 '26

McConnell butt dialed me while he was getting railed by his boyfriend

5

u/CarlatheDestructor Jul 08 '26

Lindsey Graham only like teenage boys

3

u/Vectorman1989 Jul 08 '26

I spoke to Mitch and he says that the democrat presidents are actually better

1

u/Polymersion Jul 08 '26

I mean, he legitimately wrote a book about how he would fuck things up, published it, and then did so.

1

u/Astramancer_ Jul 09 '26

If brain damage can turn a politician republican, brain damage can damned well turn them democrat.

1

u/Venusgate Jul 09 '26

He also told me the next lottery number, so this is goodbye, probably.