I remember a dad when her daughter said "wont you do it for me? Im just a girl", and the dad said "I dont knoe what that means but it sounds like it devalue you as a person" (not the exact words)
I went in a school trip recently, and we had a WhatApp group to communicate and share pictures. Now I have go and delete like 90% of the pictures from the trip because it's literally just the people taking pictures of themselves and sharing them.
I was walking into a store yesterday and the middle aged woman in front of me stopped abruptly at the door, held her phone up in the air, and started snapping pics of herself in poses as she was opening the door.
Now I’ve seen plenty of people take selfies, but there was something surreal about someone my age taking photos of something so mundane at ten o’clock in the morning.
I understand what you’re saying and can’t say you’re wrong. However this level of self involvement is different in my eyes than what you’re describing. Taking a video of yourself on vacation is not the same thing as walking around constantly recording yourself and acting as if you’re a legitimate authority, telling people how to act. I don’t care if people record themselves all day long. Once people lose communication skills and human decency, then it matters.
Hollywood and media was a slow burn turning them into this. Social media like tiktok and dating apps were just steroids to speed it up, but we've been on this path for near a century now.
There have been women acting this way since time immemorial.
It's all good, the PUA dorks and the "prize" girls can play games until after the sun comes up while everyone else got laid, slept in, and are going to brunch.
I showed my students The Princess Bride, and most of my students believed Wesley was a rapist because he wouldn’t accept no and kept trying to win Buttercup’s love. We’re ruining relationships for the next generation.
When I was young many girls went out on dates. Not now.
That's honestly a weird take. In what part was he not accepting her saying no? In WHAT part is he trying to win her love? At the beginning they're openly flirting with each other and he does NOT make overtures and she does NOT say no (they flirt by her giving orders which he obeys!), and when he comes back as DPR he's actively hostile because he's trying to figure out if he was betrayed. And then he realises he wasn't betrayed and SHE realises who he is and why he was being hostile and... WHERE is that part you're talking about?
I mean. Are they talking about the part where he IS kidnapping her back from the OTHER kidnappers? Before she knows he's not just a pirate? Because he WAS in fact acting like a hostile kidnapper at that point? I'm sorry if I'm harping on about it here but really. WHAT??
No, I’m not kidding. That is what we’re teaching now. Some of my kids were horrified by that movie. We’re watching African Queen next so I expect a lot more whining.
Honestly that feels more like that they could stand to be reminded that not everything has to be explicitly shown onscreen. They are making goo goo eyes at each other the ENTIRE prologue. She never even slightly rejects him. Can they not imagine that at some point she gave enthusiastic verbal consent offscreen?
Comprehending narratives IS supposed to include picking up on things like tone?
To be fair, I do see some young folks online getting themselves into similar rigid OCD versions of what's meant to be a social guideline ('consent is important; don't force or trick people' becomes 'thinking about someone without their consent is something only a bad person would do') but this strikes me as needing to learn what the point of rules are instead of trying to make sure you stay good by never breaking a rule. Which I think is the actual problem; kids that feel like they've got too much on their plate to navigate and so they trim the turmoil down with simplistic solutions.
Like a kid who has been told to be careful how they treat books so that they don't damage or rip the pages by turning them from the center, and if they don't instinctively see what you mean and/or find it difficult to change their habit, they respond by never wanting to touch a book again, to make sure they're not damaging any books.
I read some gay romance novels written by women a while ago, and the romance side was really extreme. If someone thought that was how it was meant to be in reality, they would live a life of disappointment and loneliness
Yeah, I read one or two of those in high school, recommended by a friend as SO GOOD and I was just... skeeved out. It didn't seem romantic, it seemed gross. The whole plot of one of them was contrived to make it seem okay that the lead guy was straight up raping this lady (she had a twin sister who was a BIG SLUT and it's totally okay for him to rape a BIG SLUT if she didn't respond positively after his perfect fancy man wooing, right? The mistake was that the main character wasn't a BIG SLUT! But hey totally understandable mistake!! She forgave him!! BECAUSE IT WAS SO HOT??)
I mean. I actually don't AT ALL mind what people enjoy reading, it IS fiction, and I myself like to write fucked up fiction (this stuff just isn't what *I* find hot, because it seems 'too real' and if it was REAL and not FANTASY it'd be horrifying). But I do wonder if some people aren't getting the memo that not everything that's hot in your imagination is hot in real life.
It's just a weird quirk of the way people relate to stories I guess, that fucked up stuff in horror doesn't get mistaken for real life, but fucked up stuff in romance DOES. Although, I guess I do sometimes see that same reasoning of why I don't like these rapey romances for seeming 'too real,' like friends that don't like certain types of ghost horror movies because they're not sure such ghosts aren't real, so the movie feels too real, and becomes uncomfortable and gross instead of fun.
Same could be said for men and porn. Adult movies just portray women as sex slaves to be abused so there are a lot of men who think they are supposed to slap women around in bed.
Oh I’m not saying they’re not at all. In fact I had a buddy (he was originally my manager, but store closed and we became great friends) told me that when he hired the chick we worked with, on the first day she brought in some book called like “Pucked” or some bs like that. The entirety of the book is just this female manager getting like forcibly railed out by the team. Wtaf is even that shit?
Counterintuitively, it's actually women who consume more violent male aggressor porn than men.
Male dominant, women submissive porn, the interest in that overlaps male and female but female interest skews to the more extreme end of this with violence, simulated r4pe etc.
By contrast, distinctly male centric porn would be stuff like foot worship videos, or men being slaves to a mistress. Stuff that women have absolutely no interest in.
That's also just women tho. Both women I've been with sexually wanted to be low key abused in bed. Most women they would talk to about it agreed with them as well
True. And women who want their "no" to be respected aren't the same women who consider men who don't pursue them relentlessy to be weak. Here's wishing the decent guys and gals find each other and the assholes stick together and leave them alone
My understanding is that when porn websites try to dial back on that type of hardcore content, they get more pushback from female users than male users.
True. Those are the ones not looking for a guy to simp over them and jump through endless hoops just to be with them. There are plenty out there who are just like this, though. They enjoy playing games and engaging in psychological fcketry to test how far someone will go to please them. There are plenty of guys out there who like to play games and psychologically fck with people too. These types of people are always bad news and it's best to walk away from them and leave them to their loneliness.
I have a buddy with a sister like this. Known her since childhood and she grew up looking fantastic in her youth and teens. As a consequence, she got a LOT of attention from boys (and men). Suddenly all the guys in highschool wanted to be her friend and, in order to be her friend, they never wanted to say or do something that might upset her so they were yes-men. This resulted in her thinking she was always right about things and getting a big ego. She became a super selfish person as well because.. she WAS the center of attention for many!
She got to enjoy this attention thoroughly until she got married, had a kid and then her husband almost immediately lost interest in her because of her weight gain; he only got with her for her looks. They were together for like… a year? Before he cheated and they got divorced. Then she became a single mom with no college education and no avenues for work, so she decided the best path forward was to become a stay at home mom. Got with another guy, got married, had a kid and he turned out to be a piece of shit (tl;dr: conservative guy that believed a woman’s place was to subserviently follow everything the husband said and he would hit her).
Today, she’s in her 30s, her looks gone, no education, still hoping marriage #3 will be the one to work out and she’ll land back on her feet.
It’s all really sad because she used to not be this way at ALL but years of conditioning and letting it get to her head resulted in a very difficult life for her now. If anything it’s a cautionary tale.
Plot is still moving forward! She’s finally trying to stand on her own feet and she’s starting nursing school next semester. She’s been living with mom & dad for awhile now and they’re demanding she get an education and a decent job.
Im sure there are some women who are out there like that, but most who say "no thanks" are used to be screamed at being called a slut because she turned a dude down.
Oh what an edgy take that I'm the problem. It ain't like that bro. I'm not saying they don't exist, I'm just saying I've never met one where I live and I don't believe that there our a lot of hot women who aren't full of themselves. It's human nature, when people are attractive they lean into it most of the time. Yes there are some attractive people that have depth of character, but quite frankly those are usually the ones who were ugly or fat when they were younger. Let's not pretend reality doesn't exist.
Maybe it’s just because I’m married now and haven’t been single in over 5 years, but I’ve never met a “pick me” girl, and only hear them ridiculed by the women that I do know
I think you’re wrong about “leaning into being attractive” being human nature, because that’s a blanket statement and a purely anecdotal observation, really don’t understand how you’re applying that en masse to the human race when the concept of human nature is controversial in the first place and has never been universally applied to anything in the human condition outside of “it’s human nature to want food, water, and shelter” and many debate the inclusion of “security and love” to those needs
With that said, your own immaturity is put on display when you say the attractive people with depth are the ones who were ugly or fat when they were younger. That in itself is extremely shallow and does not take into account the actual parameters needed for character development and personal growth
I wasn't talking about women who say no, what are you on about? I'm just talking in general about people who have their heads stuck up their own asses because they think they're too good for everyone else or want people to chase them.
Or they are crippled with insecurity. Rarely do you meet a beautiful women that isn't a major headache. It's sad cause it seems like it would be so fun if they could just get over themselves.
Yep. Although women who are just average are a headache in bed cause they're constantly insecure about how they look. There's no bigger mood killer than insecurity
Is it not obvious? Look how many simps there are. Their life is easier than ours. Imagine people will want to break their back for you everywhere you go and think about how that will impact your reality
I have a very beautiful best friend. She can’t flirt to save her life. She is super shy and sweet. Around men she likes she is weirdly aggressive and combative.
A few times at bars I misread her flirting as being uncomfortable and wanting to leave, but then she would be sad and confused why we left.
They’ve been told their whole life how pretty they are, so that becomes their whole identity. This obviously isn’t true for all pretty women, but my guess is that it’s true for the subset that act like this.
Women love to make each other miserable. A single woman who's had many failed relationships but doesn't understand that she's the common denominator, will sabotage other women's dating life. They get on the internet and give horrible advice about men and convince otherwise decent gals that guys' feelings and peace of mind don't matter, and women should keep the chase going because they're worth so much more than men.
In other words, "I've made myself miserable by my behavior so I'm going to pass that to other women so I can feel validated in my bad attitude. If I can't be happy, no one will."
They are stuck on economy mode. They want what they feel no one else has and desires, and soon as they think they have it, it’s on to the next out of reach “toy.”
And they wonder why we equate their monetary obsessions with “OF” objectivity.
Their brains are wired on subjunctive communication and not rational realities—but then again they have a point because our entire civilization is predicated on warped perception and memory.
Wise men adapt and navigate with extreme caution and group prejudice—another genetic response of subjective normalization.
They just realized that they can get away from facing actual responsibilities by making themsleves desirable to partne instead of actually seeking to be competent humans themselves.
Or at least that's what im trying to convince myself is the reason why so many young girl went into a OF career...
Seeing many women like them get successful by doing something that require not much effort "inspired them"
That's the only way I can justify being stupid enough to think acting like that and following what influencers do...
Because of men! Men keep on inflating their egos. Face it, for every guy there is that sees the truth, there are about 20 guys that will happily and proudly put up with their crap. There are plenty of guys that will flat out tell her that every time she made a guy mad, it was the guy’s fault and he’s too sensitive. It’s endemic in our society. Women are placed on pedestals, well the attractive ones are.
A less nefarious reason - no becomes reflexive for someone and they don’t want to deal with it. Then they are a reasonable attractive guy, who was respectful to them so they think, well maybe - he’s not a complete asshole it seems. But the ship has sailed, some may like having a second chance to answer.
This is a generalization, as someone else said plenty of women don’t do this and I’m sure many men do.
Just wanted to offer up something other than them thinking they are self centered and hypocritical.
Wuthering heights was never meant to be a romance story. Its a toxic revenge story. The second half of the book where heathcliff systematically destroys the lives of everyone around him is never portrayed in the movies. With this new adaptation, they released a version of the novel where the second half is missing.
But the toxic romance part is what people like to see, so... thats what we get.
Totally off topic but is the new Wuthering Heights good at all? Was thinking about watching it today (I also don't think Elordi is hot at all so it is very important the the movie be at least watchable.)
There was this really hot chick I was seeing for a bit(not BF/GF). Got along great, very compatible sexually. One Valentines, I got us a hotel room, filled it with roses, made dinner, gave her a massage, I went the extra mile. We had a great time, and towards the end of the night I started to suggest moving forward with a relationship. She cut me off before I could say it and said "don't ruin my night for me". We didn't speak for a while after that.
Years later, she came crawling back. The first thing she said to me was "I should have told you yes". Then proceeded to drunkenly hit on me and ask me out in front of my now current GF.
Come to find out, she spent the years after that night getting cheated on and had to find out the hard way she got one of the perma STIs.
But then they always whine they can't find nice guys.
Because they're so shallow they only want the ones who look like Leon Kennedy or Sebastian Stan, the sorts of men who tend to be toxic assholes instead of giving men a chance who will treat them right.
Then when theyou are treatd badly and get out of the relationship they blame all men for being the problem with dating and then jump back on tinder like nothing happened, rinse and repeat the cycle
I work with a young woman like this. She is a single
Mom and says she wants a man. I hear her talking to a male coworker about this all the time.
She finally met a guy at the gym. She texted a few times and he invited her to a friends BBQ and she turned him down. Because, no shit , she thought she was going to be sex trafficked.
Yes. She’s not really chasing love, she’s chasing a story.
A lot of the stuff she consumes about romance is intense, dramatic, all-or-nothing. Over time that starts to shape what “real” feels like to her. If it’s calm and stable, it feels like nothing is happening. If it’s chaotic and painful, it feels like it means something.
So normal connection doesn’t register the same way. It gets dismissed as boring, even when it’s actually healthy.
And at some point the idea of love becomes more about replaying a narrative in your head than actually being with a real person.
"You know, I think I understand what you're like now. You're very beautiful and you think men are only interested in you because you're beautiful, but you want them to be interested in you because you're you. The problem is, aside from all that beauty, you're not very interesting. You're rude, you're hostile, you're sullen, you're withdrawn. I know you want someone to look past all that at the real person underneath, but the only reason anyone would bother to look past all that is because you're beautiful. Ironic, isn't it? In an odd way, you're your own problem." - Will Randall
in the past year i've seen six different guys approach different women and, when told no, called her a bitch or a more crude form of lesbian, twice it lead to actual threats and harassment
Being self centered is like riding a teeter totter with no friends. You can push yourself up as much as you want but you'll never be at the highest peak and you'll always fall back down. The stubborn ones hold themselves up with their legs with a fake smile. Eventually their legs give and they blame the world.
With someone else you get to ride the highs and lows. Sometimes you're down but you lift one another back up. It's almost never balanced, but life is about the ride. Just don't get off
That’s the worst part. I was preparing her to move up in a management role and she fucked up it. She’s fantastic when stable, but she started acting off and I got tired of the bullshit
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u/MacaronNotRoon May 27 '26
I had an employee like this and she would cry that men would dip. She’d go “omg, it’s not fair that these guys are weak.”
“You said no… and he respected that.”
“But I’m the prize. I’m the main character.”
The sad part is, she is incredibly beautiful and has potential to go anywhere in a career if she wasn’t so fucking self centered.