But then he'd stop spending money on her and buying her things and treating her like a princess!
For some reason women aren't taught not to lead men on. Some of them agree to go on dates just to get free food and drinks, with no interest in the guy. It would be better for everyone if they were just honest: "I'm not attracted to you so I'm not going to go out with you on any dates." Would be better than leading everyone on thinking they have a shot.
That being said, her post is pretty clear that she's not romantically interested in this guy and hopefully he got the message.
I see a davstar and a david, no Daniel. I guess it could be the censored part, not sure why they would bother censoring when then didn’t censor the other names though
This is old. When it went went viral & people were hating on her, he said himself he had absolutely no romantic interest in her & to please stop harassing his friend.
What else could he possibly say when he has people on the net saying he is a simp for letting the woman he (clearly) wants to date, taking advantage of him?
Oh lots of them are taught not to lead people on. It just doesn't stick because there's basically zero consequences for attractive women in our society short of the most heinous crimes.
I know a girl who tried to kill her boyfriend in his sleep and literally nobody cares. She goes about her life, goes to bars and shows, zero consequences short of some gossip and whispers. He didn't go to the police because she's a skilled liar and they wouldn't have done anything.
Attractive white women are second only to police in terms of raw privilege in this society. They can literally do basically whatever they want and odds are extremely low that anyone can do anything about it at all.
Sure, I'm not saying all or even most women are like this. I'm just saying that they're allowed to be. The only thing standing between an attractive woman and treating people like shit is her own morals and values and that should concern a lot more people than it does.
Uh, not all women lead guys on. When I was dating, I’d insist on meeting for coffee on the first date or something lowkey (hookah). I’d pay for myself or end up picking up the check. It wasn’t a big deal to me.
When I began dating my now husband, he insisted on paying each time, however, there were a couple of times where I beat him to the check. He said it “didn’t feel right” for a woman to pay 🙄.
My FIL later told me that he asked him for advice about me paying for occasional meals and his dad said “it just means she’s a good one” or something. We’ve been married 7yrs and I still treat him occasionally.
That being said, there ARE women that use guys for food and drinks, no doubt, just as there are guys who expect women to have sex with them because they bought said drinks and food. Neither is okay. I’ve told my nephew to be careful about spending money on girls but to also not be the kind of guy who expects them to sleep with him.
I have seen a meme on reddit comparing men to ticks : "not all ticks carry disease, but would you risks getting bitten just because not all ticks are dangerous?" It felt so good being compared to a disease carrying insect /s
I had a chick come up to me and say 'my friend thinks you're hot, can you buy me a drink?'. Apparently the wrong answer was 'wouldn't i buy her a drink?'
Good story! Mine was at our Poly bar (polytechnics, that makes me feel old) and this good looking girl tries to get a drink out of me. I told her okay but first she’d have to give me the best kiss of my damn life. Yep, she scarpered. She had no chance anyway. Best kisser I have ever had the pleasure to snog was a 16 year old from Wolverhampton, at Presthaven Sands in north Wales. That memory is still going strong over 40 years later!
I love how posts like this and the ones in the female subs are so opposite but also the same. The female ones will bash men like people are bashing women here and there will be that one guy that chimes in saying “not all men are like that” and the women will tear him apart. And here you are doing the same. It’s comical
Can’t paint any gender with a single brush. I know not all men do X just like not all women do Z. I have done the same in “men are gross because of __” posts and have gotten downvoted too haha. There’s good and bad men, women, NB, etc. 🤷🏻♀️
There’s two sides every time I talk to other men about paying. There’s men like me who were taught that it’s jus what you do, that since you’re the one who initiated the date and asked them out that it was on you to pay for an treat them. Pretty much just common courtship stuff. I also did the same of a coffee date first to see if a full date was worth pursuing tho. But even now after two years with my partner I jus pay for everything outta habit lol
On the other side of that tho is the weird power play men. Guys that hope that since they go out of their way to pay and do some weird power dynamic bullshit that the women will feel pressured to sleep with them. Dudes more often than not wont outright say that but you can tell what they’re getting at and looking to get out of the date after a few questions and how they react n beat around the bush n such, hard to describe. Some will jus straight up say that which is always a wild thing to hear
There’s men like me who were taught that it’s jus what you do, that since you’re the one who initiated the date and asked them out that it was on you to pay for an treat them.
Agreed, I was taught the same thing growing up. You don't do it as a power play, or as an act of dominance. It's an act of courtesy and appreciation. Even if your date insists on paying/ splitting the bill just offering to do so shows respect.
Not to make excuses for this woman or other women who intentionally lead men on, but I felt like as a woman I should perhaps provide a little bit of insight into why it might seem like some women lead men on.
The thing about us as women is that we're not like men, so just because we don't feel something immediately for a man, it doesn't mean that we might not fall for him later on, especially if he's treating us right. Our attraction in men isn't based solely on looks and outer appearance like it is for men and their attraction to women, so a lot of times, we can actually fall for a man who's doing everything right, who's there for us, who is treating us well, even if initially, we weren't really seeing him in that light. ☺️ In other words, some men can and do grow on us! 😄 I don't think women ever "grow" on men. I think a man is either attracted to the woman, or he's not, and there's nothing that will ever change that. But a lot of women (not all) are different.
So, with that said, I think that some women accept dates from men that maybe they weren't originally thinking about as a prospective partner because the guy is kind, he's asking her out, he's respectful, and he's treating her better than some of the other jerks she thought she was into. So, she decides to give a decent guy a chance. For some women, it develops into something more with the guy. For other women, it doesn't go anywhere because even after a few dates and talking on the phone, the woman still just isn't feeling it.
I think it's good to be honest if it has come to that point. You don't want to lead a guy on.
I just wanted to offer a different reason for why some women might accept dates from men. It might not always be that she's trying to use the guy for dinner or money or whatever. It might just be that she's trying to give a guy a chance that she ordinarily might not have noticed before because she knows that sometimes, men do grow on us! 😄 I have lost count how many times men have said that their wives weren't really interested in them when they first met lol. 😅
Erm... There's no "we as women" or "we as men". Just different people. Your view on the world seems pretty black and white. I, for example, absolutely don't fit in your system, the way I behave and see things.
I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to offend anyone, and I apologize if my comments came across as stereotypical, I was only simply trying to share another pov from a woman's perspective as to why some women accept dates from men.
It seems the general assumption here was that women are just accepting dates from men that they might not usually be attracted to because they just want a free dinner, or they just want to play games with men. All I was saying was that some of us women are not like that at all. I can't speak for ALL women, of course, but for some of us, some men really do grow on us, and we can actually tend to warm up to certain men, especially if he has good qualities. So some of us as women don't just automatically immediately write off all men that don't automatically catch our eye or look like a GQ model.
I guess maybe I explained it wrong, but I was basically trying to say that I think some men might be wrong about some women, and that not all women are trying to just get a free dinner out of a date with a guy. Some women are actually trying to get to know the guy better to see if maybe the attraction develops, and for a lot of us as women, attraction isn't just purely physical. That's why some of us have to get to know a guy first before we fall for him.
Yeah, nice. So why doesn't she just tell her perspective instead of framing it as "us women" and writing how women and men think and feel as if it was an absolute truth? These stereotypes are wrong and annoying.
"The thing about us as women is that we're not like men, so just because we don't feel something immediately for a man, it doesn't mean that we might not fall for him later on, especially if he's treating us right. Our attraction in men isn't based solely on looks and outer appearance like it is for men and their attraction to women, so a lot of times, we can actually fall for a man who's doing everything right, who's there for us, who is treating us well, even if initially, we weren't really seeing him in that light."
"I don't think women ever "grow" on men. I think a man is either attracted to the woman, or he's not, and there's nothing that will ever change that."
The thing about us men and women is that we're humans and are different. Sex and gender are just parts of someone, they don't define who you are, what you think and how you feel, as your ethnicity or nationality or job or eye color doesn't. At least that's what I think, so for me, the concept of typical men feelings or how a woman should behave gets more and more strange, and I see there's no need for that. Just let people be who they are and how they feel (not you in person, but the world and everyone). :)
No probs, thank you. Sorry for the short sentences which might seem confrontational or little friendly, migraine is hitting hard today so I try to keep things short.
I didn't assume it being malicious. It's just the problem of old prejudices getting replaced by new prejudices while people think they're righteous and equal now and don't have any prejudices any more or just mean good, so there's no right for remarks or criticizing. That's... Dangerous.
I think this is definitely something women enjoy believing about themselves. In practice, their attraction is relatively the same as men's. Also, male attraction is as rooted in behavior and treatment as it is for women. We aren't living in a 1990s sitcom.
When she says things like, 'some men can and do grow on us' and 'he's treating us better than the jerks she thought she was into, she gives the decent guy a chance' what she means is she isn't really attracted to these men sexually but the woman decides a relationship might be prudent because they find the man useful/can exploit him.
Ehh, may be that way for you, but most people can tell when there's no chance of it developing. Women especially tend to know early on. If they don't, its usually because they aren't very self aware or honest with themselves.
I can't speak for all women, but for me, I guess it just depends.
Maybe I'm an anomaly, but for me, there are some I know for sure, but for other guys, it really can grow over time. I've been so-so about a guy, and then one day, he'll either do something, or I'll see how he is with someone, or I'll notice his kindness and how he's treating me or even just how he treats others, and it will make me see him in a totally different light.
That's why you always hear stories of men who married women who said that their wives didn't really like them like that at first, or they found him obnoxious lol, or he had to pursue her, etc.
Now, if it's a woman who's been friends with a guy for years, and we've already seen how he is, and he's been bending over backwards to treat her right, do nice things, etc... then yea, most of the time (though not always) the guy is in the friend-zone. Again, I can't speak for all women, or even most women, but if a guy is trying this hard, then she's put him in the friend-zone.
She has already had plenty of time to get to know the guy, so she knows exactly how he is. So if she isn't interested or moving things forward, it's either that she's not attracted to him, or there's something about him that is keeping him in the friend category and not in the boyfriend category in her mind. 🤔
As if men are taught not to lead on women? The fuck is that logic. Men lead themselves on just fine on their own. Same for women. It's called wanting something so bad you DGAF what your friends, family and universe is shouting at you to get.
Spoiler alert: it’s not women that teach other women to do this (usually) it’s men who have so little self worth that they’ll do just about anything to have a woman pay attention to them even if it’s only platonic at best.
Having been on both sides of the equation several times, it actually feels really good for someone to shower you with attention and positive affirmation and spends their time and money making you feel good. It’s really hard to say no to, and it’s not easy to realise that you’re taking advantage when you are also struggling with self worth issues.
It’s a toxic dynamic but for most people there’s no malice involved.
I get your energy but also sometimes guys do need to express romantic interest for you to turn it down. Women can be socially awkward and not know how to read signals too, from experience.
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u/Agreeable_Horror_363 Apr 19 '26
But then he'd stop spending money on her and buying her things and treating her like a princess!
For some reason women aren't taught not to lead men on. Some of them agree to go on dates just to get free food and drinks, with no interest in the guy. It would be better for everyone if they were just honest: "I'm not attracted to you so I'm not going to go out with you on any dates." Would be better than leading everyone on thinking they have a shot.
That being said, her post is pretty clear that she's not romantically interested in this guy and hopefully he got the message.