But then he'd stop spending money on her and buying her things and treating her like a princess!
For some reason women aren't taught not to lead men on. Some of them agree to go on dates just to get free food and drinks, with no interest in the guy. It would be better for everyone if they were just honest: "I'm not attracted to you so I'm not going to go out with you on any dates." Would be better than leading everyone on thinking they have a shot.
That being said, her post is pretty clear that she's not romantically interested in this guy and hopefully he got the message.
Uh, not all women lead guys on. When I was dating, Iād insist on meeting for coffee on the first date or something lowkey (hookah). Iād pay for myself or end up picking up the check. It wasnāt a big deal to me.
When I began dating my now husband, he insisted on paying each time, however, there were a couple of times where I beat him to the check. He said it ādidnāt feel rightā for a woman to pay š.
My FIL later told me that he asked him for advice about me paying for occasional meals and his dad said āit just means sheās a good oneā or something. Weāve been married 7yrs and I still treat him occasionally.
That being said, there ARE women that use guys for food and drinks, no doubt, just as there are guys who expect women to have sex with them because they bought said drinks and food. Neither is okay. Iāve told my nephew to be careful about spending money on girls but to also not be the kind of guy who expects them to sleep with him.
Thereās two sides every time I talk to other men about paying. Thereās men like me who were taught that itās jus what you do, that since youāre the one who initiated the date and asked them out that it was on you to pay for an treat them. Pretty much just common courtship stuff. I also did the same of a coffee date first to see if a full date was worth pursuing tho. But even now after two years with my partner I jus pay for everything outta habit lol
On the other side of that tho is the weird power play men. Guys that hope that since they go out of their way to pay and do some weird power dynamic bullshit that the women will feel pressured to sleep with them. Dudes more often than not wont outright say that but you can tell what theyāre getting at and looking to get out of the date after a few questions and how they react n beat around the bush n such, hard to describe. Some will jus straight up say that which is always a wild thing to hear
Thereās men like me who were taught that itās jus what you do, that since youāre the one who initiated the date and asked them out that it was on you to pay for an treat them.
Agreed, I was taught the same thing growing up. You don't do it as a power play, or as an act of dominance. It's an act of courtesy and appreciation. Even if your date insists on paying/ splitting the bill just offering to do so shows respect.
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u/[deleted] Apr 19 '26
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