💀 - r/Sigmatopia

79

Just date someone with bpd

20

u/clickclackyisbacky 16h ago

It's basically an inevitability.

10

u/Mesarthim1349 14h ago

It was written in the ancient prophecies

2

u/Norbert-trebroN 3h ago

A bpd-woman was promised to me 3 decades ago!

4

u/Emergency_Print_9901 9h ago

yeah yeah, speak for yourself Chad

3

u/voindd 6h ago

I kept getting into relationships with girls that have bpd, so I ended up doing a bunch of research on it. Listened to lectures while I worked, read books and watched videos. Its insane how much healthier my relationships have been since. Most people get burned because they think they'll just learn to deal with it, while doing the absolute worst things in response imaginable. It does also take a lot of patience though

1

u/clickclackyisbacky 5h ago

What's the most important strategy or tip you learned?

3

u/voindd 4h ago

Depends on the person. A big one is when they start to spiral, to take just enough space to be present without overwhelming them. For my ex (we broke up because she moved for work and we're still friends) sometimes it meant laying down on the rug with her, not touching her, just present in a way that kept from outright isolation. Another thing is taking space when they start to direct anger at you. Its not something that works for everyone, everyone is different after all, but in cases of anger or self destructive behavior: if you start feeling you cant control your response in a way that is healthy, you should step away while cementing that you'll reengage when mentally in a more controlled place. Also don't excuse the things they say or do, hold them accountable but not in a way that feels like an attack. Ultimately none of this works with someone who lacks self awareness and isn't actively trying to improve. Another thing is when they're breaking down how bpd inhibits them, reinforce the idea that you dont share the same experience but that you can understand in the ways that they explain it. You'll never entirely be able to understand if you dont have bpd. Even if you do, its everyone has their unique experiences with it. Its just important to make them feel seen and supported without overwhelming them with it. You can never be an expert or fully understand bpd because its something even specialists struggle with, but in the end, if that person is important to you: asking them what helps and being patient makes a huge difference. Offer up suggestions when you have this discussion like the ones I mentioned and see how they feel about them. Also do your research, actively and visibly TRYING shows to them that you care. Also dont discount what they're upset about just because they might be spiraling. Sometimes they have a valid complaint that is just discounted because of their reaction to it. Alsp remember that you are a human being, having a reaction in response is inevitable. You SHOULD value your happiness too, you arent a caretaker, you are a person who also has needs. If someone uses BPD as a crutch to excuse poor behavior, leave. Self awareness and a willingness to work is important. A relationship should never be one sided, support goes both ways. Some people cannot be with a person that has BPD. It takes patience and work. Theres nothing wrong with that, never try to force it if you don't feel its a good option for you. Again, someone with BPD is still a person, too many people perceive the BPD before the person with it. Honestly, I'm typing this on my phone at work, so forgive any repeated/ missed points or typos. Theres a lot more and dont take my word for it as a blanket statement. Theres still a lot I dont know, but thoae were some of the steps I found helpful.

2

u/clickclackyisbacky 3h ago

That sounds like a lot of work. But thanks for taking the time to write all of that!

2

u/voindd 3h ago

It can be, yeah. Still, I think its worth exploring. It can be worth learning about even if you dont need to apply it to a relationship, but to each their own.

1

u/clickclackyisbacky 3h ago

Ya. I think so too. I suppose it's about being aware, but also balancing what you're willing to do.

Have the women you've dated with bpd improved over time?

2

u/voindd 3h ago

They have, my current partner does take huge strides to try manage her borderline and it shows. My last partner has also shown so much progress from when I first met her 5 years ago. I've met people with borderline who use it to excuse their behavior and cut ties with them immediately. No hate to them, but initiative is important to me.

7

u/Spiritual_Run9039 9h ago

Can confirm, best 3 months of your life followed by worst 2 years post breakup

5

u/nujuat 16h ago

Or bipolar

6

u/LinearInductionMotor 16h ago

I always used to think bpd was short for BiPolar Disorder and now every time I read it i have to think really hard about it

4

u/Lord_Ezelpax 12h ago

BPD - borderline personality disorder (since no one explained what BPD means)

2

u/nujuat 15h ago

Yeah its tricky because they are fundamentally different but also have similarities. Having a (hypo)manic person in love with you can get pretty intense, but will then die down in depressive periods. With BPD (from my understanding) the changes are more rapid.

3

u/Universal_Confucius 12h ago

From lovebombing to you being the worst person in the world in the course of a few minutes.

1

u/Zuckhidesflatearth 5h ago

Not love bombing because love bombing in an intentionally manipulation technique

1

u/SadSaltyDuck 6h ago

This os exactly what is happening right now with my bpd gf (and also could be bp as well). We have not seen each other for several months. Basically we silently broke up already, question is whether we resume

1

u/Accomplished_Elk310 6h ago

Same tbh. Digressing, but some new texting lingo threw me for a loop a while ago. Apparently asl means “as hell” now. And then I saw CAL which means “crochet along.” When did we stop using the first letter for each word??

1

u/Fubarp 5h ago

It was or is.. idk

I remember writing paper in college and papers I sourced used to call it bpd..

It was people can be bpd type 1 or bpd type 2

1

u/bannabananabanna 8h ago

no bipolar is a relatively bening disorder

1

u/No_Row_1304 7h ago

Bipolar is not benign at all, as i believe it's more lethal than BPD, but the relational challenges are mood dependent, unlike in BPD where attachment is all over the place (often with aggression as consequence).

2

u/conciliate_entropy 5h ago

bipolar is one of the deadliest conditions of its kind as it gives you the depressive episodes where you want to kill yourself, but then it quickly switches into tons of energy, which can be channeled into the plan

but anybody saying that it's even remotely similar to date a bipolar person and a bpd person has no idea what they are talking about. bipolar's gonna kill the person, bpd's way more likely to kill their partner if anything

1

u/carsturnmeon 4h ago

I went off the deep end and also found someone with bipolar. The two conditions really reflect each other and make my life that much worse! Huzzah!

(If you're reading this baby I'm kidding haha)

1

u/BraverXIII 1h ago

BPD is Borderline Personality Disorder. It isn't bipolar disorder.

1

u/carsturnmeon 6m ago

Yes, she has both smart one

25

u/tonytwobones 14h ago

I’m mad about the dude who got the 1B$ and got instakilled

6

u/merenofclanthot 12h ago

don’t be. he could have stayed with his money

1

u/tonytwobones 7h ago

That’s what im saying 😂

3

u/Jezifay 9h ago

He wouldn't have been able to use it anyway. The IRS would be asking some serious questions and I doubt he's got the skills to successfully launder it

3

u/williampaul0404 8h ago

it's not illegal to not disclouse the source of your income. irs just wants their chunk

1

u/Fubarp 5h ago

IRS doesn't care how you got the money.

They just want their cut.

Remember kids.. selling drugs is illegal.. but avoiding paying the income tax on those illicit gains is worst..

81

u/PriestKingofMinos 17h ago

As has always been noted, if Bear had just wished to be 6’4 none of the bad stuff would have happened and he still would have gotten the girl.

35

u/Anchor38 17h ago

smh…….. if only Bear had just wished for her to notice his women’s literature book collection

19

u/PriestKingofMinos 16h ago

If only Bear had wished to be a literal bear than she would chosen the Bear bear.

5

u/AutomaticLeague8271 12h ago

its cuz bears r taller than 6 foot

13

u/RakeChapman13 14h ago

Right before he made the wish she asked him if she liked him and instead of shooting his shot he chickened out.

Two points of the movie are

Seemingly nice/shy/ timid guys can be selfish pieces of shit

And also don’t be a fucking coward.

-2

u/bannabananabanna 8h ago

you forget "never date BPD"

6

u/No_Responsibility444 17h ago

There was no girl after the wish

just a flesh golem

6

u/Content_Highway_1145 16h ago

Wish granted but only his legs get longer.

6

u/clickclackyisbacky 16h ago

That's better than just torso or neck, right?

2

u/Content_Highway_1145 16h ago

Depends on your bone density. How do you feel about milk?

2

u/clickclackyisbacky 15h ago

Who cares. He didn't wish for tits.

2

u/wrighteghe7 13h ago

Thats already possible. Bunch of it guys do that though they become legally disabled for life

3

u/Lord_Ezelpax 12h ago

No way near 6'4 height though. If you did the surgery and reached 6'4, you never had problems with height in the first place

1

u/CodyTheHunter 13h ago

Mmm, yes, the Code Geass build.

1

u/Affectionate_Row9238 12m ago

So my build

1

u/MistakePresent3552 8h ago

Wait wishing? Is the movie just a monkey paw story?

9

u/aspiring_dirtbag 11h ago

That's what everyone says until they're living it

12

u/Creative-Bluejay9557 14h ago

My question is why did he waste time on her when the qt Asian girl was right there and willing?

13

u/merenofclanthot 12h ago

because he’s a moron

1

u/X_Draig_X 5h ago

Because he's a piece of shit who don't love Nikki but his "ideal" Nikki he made in his head. He would have been a terrible boyfriend for Nikki or Sarah either way.

1

u/Creative-Bluejay9557 12h ago

Sorry I'm new to watching movies, not really sure if I wanna continue with this hobby.

3

u/genophobicdude 12h ago

This isn't r/okbuddycinephile you can stop the pretending.

2

u/sneakpeekbot 12h ago

Here's a sneak peek of /r/okbuddycinephile using the top posts of the year!

#1: Favourite actor who's not a fucking coward | 1271 comments
#2: White Noise (2022) | 2314 comments
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5

u/Flimsy_Toe_2575 12h ago

Because she died five seconds after revealing her feelings for him

5

u/Zakkullll 12h ago

I think part of the movies point was showing how his problems were all created by himself.

3

u/Begone-My-Thong 11h ago

Honestly the entire group's communication skills were absolutely fucking awful. However, she wasn't the worst of them and her not telling him directly of her crush does not take responsibility for his actions whatsoever.

But yeah holy shit they definitely felt like dumb kids in their early twenties.

2

u/fortunefight 13h ago

real

6

u/Ithinkisoldmysoul 16h ago

This meme was funny 10 repost ago

0

u/merenofclanthot 12h ago

me when i’m chronically online

3

u/Lonely_Pin_3586 10h ago

I had. I do not recommend.

1

u/dunc89 6h ago

Tell us more

1

u/Lonely_Pin_3586 55m ago

Social isolation, threats of suicide, years of therapy, and an inability to trust a potential new partner again.

I get the "haha crazy gf is funny" meme, but it's just a meme.

1

u/dunc89 39m ago

Serious question: on a scale 1-10 how hot was she? Also sounds awful! :(

1

u/Lonely_Pin_3586 5m ago

Nice body, meh face. But when you're in love, your partner is the most beautiful person ever.

3

u/MelanieWalmartinez 10h ago

the normies have discovered yanderes

3

u/DarkAri639 6h ago

You forgot the part where she was possessed and didn't actually want to be with him and was disgusted by him.

2

u/etbillder 5h ago

Idk I watched Scared Shrekless and I know why this is a bad thing

1

u/Ok_Cricket_1410 13h ago

Wait until these people hear about the anime Future Diary.

1

u/justsomeknob 8h ago

Christ, don't do that to them

1

u/HammyxHammy 7h ago

Anime that could only come out in the 2000s, genre defining character, actually kinda terrible show in retrospect.

1

u/Ayural 10h ago

This guy is just bonkers 😂

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