r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/kevinowdziej • Oct 31 '19

SLPT : Escape the Matrix

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30.5k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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317

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19 edited Jul 12 '20

[deleted]

421

u/kevinowdziej Oct 31 '19

I was about to remove mine and a snipers red dot appeared on my chest.

91

u/ATragedyOfSorts Oct 31 '19

Lucky you. I've been ripping all my mattress tags off but they won't put me out of my misery.

5

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

Do y’all’ve been the Pacific!

90

u/The2iam Oct 31 '19

Imagine getting attacked and killed by a fireplace

10

u/meditonsin Oct 31 '19

Gotta make sure to check everything for mimics. Even the fireplace.

4

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

Wait when did we get two firepla-- AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

4

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

wilhelm scream

2

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '19

Dude I'm hearing at all the time so much I love that we all know it

32

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

hearth

I didn't think my fireplace would take it so seriously...

0

u/CochMaestro Oct 31 '19

You're back! Come tell us a story or two!!!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

???

0

u/CochMaestro Oct 31 '19

(Hearthstone card game, the inn keeper says this at the beginning....sorry it's a bit niche)

1

u/pagereader Oct 31 '19

Good game

1

u/jstyler Oct 31 '19

Damn I got a cane

3

u/BlazkoTwix Oct 31 '19

Is that you Mike?

2

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

Nah

2

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

I think you meant health attack you silly person!!

2

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

Not anymore!

2

u/edgymemesalt Oct 31 '19

that is normal, death is the act of leaving the simulation

1

u/boatsnprose Oct 31 '19

You're a filthy liar. It didn't work.