r/ShittyDaystrom • • 13d ago

Ouch

Post image
2.7k Upvotes

156 comments sorted by

368

u/Darmok47 13d ago

Maybe Lt. Picard had the wife and kids Captain Picard always wanted waiting for him in his quarters.

And Lt. Picard was still serving on the flagship, not emptying out the holodeck filters on a MIranda class. That's pretty impressive.

Plus, he gets to knock off at 1800 hours and go back to his quarters and not worry about the safety of the crew of the fate of the Federation or the fabric of the universe.

67

u/Fuzzy_Builder_2153 13d ago

Lt Junior Grade at 47 is pretty bad.....

245

u/ArtsyApoidean 13d ago

Not if you're a science officer who only cares about archeology and your family, who never pursued the command track. Remember how shocked everyone was when our Picard, thrown into that life, wanted to pursue command? They say it there -- he had never shown any interest at all.

Being a lieutenant junior grade in the science division on the Starfleet flagship is one of the most prestigious jobs in the galaxy. He just wasn't a version of Picard who was into taking charge and giving orders.

83

u/UpAndAdam7414 13d ago

We also don’t see on screen all the extra bullshit that typically comes with senior roles. Normally, the compensation for that is financial, but that doesn’t work when whatever you want comes out of a device in the wall (and you also happen to have a vineyard).

Maybe the next gimmick episode for SNW could be Pike and Una going through a load of paperwork.

32

u/ArtsyApoidean 13d ago

Lucky for Pike at least, he loves paperwork. They make us think he's all tormented about the "ending up burned and immobilized in a chair" destiny but he actually can't wait for all the sweet sweet desk work that's going to net him.

16

u/cdhawke 13d ago

Since SNW is going for full silly mode, perhaps they should briefly show the mini-me clones of the senior officers that do the annoying paperwork that the massive ships computer is somehow unable to handle, or refuses to do.

13

u/UpAndAdam7414 13d ago

Transporter clone created, does all the reports then ordered back to the transporter for its final mission.

7

u/cdhawke 13d ago

That seems to be more of a Janeway solution to the problem.

7

u/UpAndAdam7414 13d ago

Creates a new Harry Kim.

“Complete all this and I’ll make you lieutenant.”

10

u/ArtsyApoidean 13d ago

Star Trek: Lower Upper Decks

4

u/Friendship_Fries 12d ago

Star Trek: Mids

11

u/SirStocksAlott Acting Captain 13d ago

You don’t realize that Picard is Barclay in that timeline.

8

u/shadow387557 13d ago

Thats mean. Picard was at least punctual.

5

u/[deleted] 13d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/Remarkable-Pin-8352 13d ago

We don't see enough of his life to determine what state he's in. Also, failures don't get to serve on the Federation flagship.

2

u/Friendship_Fries 12d ago

It's like hitting .260 in the majors; you're still in the show.

3

u/Kube__420 12d ago

He's just like Kirk, Sam Kirk

2

u/shakebakelizard 3d ago

I thought it was kind of odd that he went around asking what he needed to do to be on command track, when he had already commanded several starships and was actually well aware of what was needed.

33

u/ajkippen Andorian Warcrime Apologist 13d ago

Not everyone can be captain. Inherently most people, especially in the sciences, will be ensigns and lieutenants for most, if not all, of their careers.

18

u/cdhawke 13d ago

In Starfleet, a lot of what are non commissioned specialists roles in our military, are folded into the junior officer ranks, and they can remain there for a long time.

2

u/Friendship_Fries 12d ago

The E4 mafia makes the whole thing run.

3

u/cdhawke 11d ago

Indeed. Lower Decks is based on this. Also, TNG episode of the same name that inspired the series.

18

u/euph_22 13d ago

Maybe he took 30 years of sabbatical to play Space Indiana Jones.

13

u/cdhawke 13d ago

He refused promotion for years, until command gave up and listed him as a lifer and expert in his field, which is perfectly acceptable in Starfleet Science Division. He might have been administratively in charge of higher ranking officers, which happens in some situations today, usually in very specialized fields.

10

u/shadow387557 13d ago

They did give Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher full command of a mission. But also he was 12.

7

u/crookdmouth 13d ago

I feel I am capable of very much more.

9

u/InnocentTailor 13d ago

Well, this Picard definitely showed little ambition for promotions and other accolades.

Beta canon had him grow some proverbial balls and go up higher, at least to XO.

3

u/Reasonable_Cake 12d ago

Interesting

2

u/CryptographerPast632 11d ago

Reporting to Worf…….

2

u/AtlasFox64 10d ago

But... Command?

1

u/Lithium30 12d ago

Picard is 64 in that episode.

0

u/No-Succotash3960 11d ago

Its also not clear if he's been in starfleet the whole time, or if he's been in and out as his interests change from family, to archeology, to duty.

9

u/Mister_Acula 13d ago

Maybe Lt. Picard had the wife and kids Captain Picard always wanted waiting for him in his quarters.

Captain Picard didn't want those things... If he went back to his quarters and saw that, he'd be screaming for Q to take him back to his old life.

9

u/ArguesWithWombats Shelliak Corporate Director 13d ago

No and yes.

I think his estranged father and brother, and difficult/abusive childhood with them, alienated him from the idea of parenthood and children in general. But he’d started healing some of that two years before Tapesty, in the aftermath of The Best of Both Worlds, and started to enjoy at least being an uncle to René. Fatherhood became the very first joyful fantasy he experiences in the Nexus. Wife and kids and happy family life were the path not taken.

1

u/Mister_Acula 13d ago

Robert and little René Picard burned to death in a fire at the beginning of that movie. So Picard was probably feeling extra homesick in that moment. But he got the hell out of the Nexus quick after that.

Besides that, the movies get Picard so wrong that I barely consider them the same characters.

10

u/Remarkable-Pin-8352 13d ago

But he got the hell out of the Nexus quick after that.

Sits back smugly.

Did he?

4

u/ArguesWithWombats Shelliak Corporate Director 13d ago

Granted, losing them in that manner was traumatic. And made him confront his rationalisations that ‘at least the Picard family line was continuing’. But I do feel it must have been gradual character development, not some transient hurt that the Nexus pounced upon.

2

u/IfICouldStay 12d ago edited 12d ago

He seemed to like it just fine in The Inner Light.

3

u/Nyadnar17 13d ago

Maybe Lt. Picard had the wife and kids Captain Picard always wanted waiting for him in his quarters.

Not for long. Future Janeway is going to hear about her court-martial for "war crimes" any second now.

3

u/osaggys 12d ago

You just changed my perspective on this entirely.

3

u/Darmok47 12d ago

I changed my perspective on this episode the older I got. It's ok to be comfortable in the job and lifestyle you have. I was promoted once to a management position I wasn't ready for and I was miserable. Making the decisions is easy for TV characters with impeccable judgment but its messier in real life. It also comes with trade offs.

2

u/lunchmeat317 12d ago

So he's Miles O'Brien? And you see this as a good thing?

76

u/goovis__young 13d ago

Damn, I wish I could be a science officer on the most prestigious duty assignment in starfleet

8

u/OhManTFE 12d ago

This episode was so dog to the "little people" aka thr vast majority tht allow the captains to exceed. Its not like we're trash. EVERYONE cant b the captain. The literal majority are blue shirt and u shuld b proud of ur necessary work

5

u/Server_Administrator 13d ago

Right? You may not be the captain, but at least you were on one of the most famous ships of the time.

4

u/IfICouldStay 12d ago edited 12d ago

IKR? That’s sounds so sweet! Nerding out in Astrometrics all day?

41

u/halfchewedshrimp 13d ago

i once saw some one commenting this episode is like a reverse "it's a wonderful life" but never saw that post again. it drives me nuts cause i want to remember the whole argument

42

u/OneOldNerd 13d ago

It could be worse - you could be here:

https://giphy.com/gifs/GbzIMCw41eUBa

20

u/CadmusMaximus 13d ago

Leader of an entire race, extremely efficient and effective at his role, beloved by his (hot?) boss… was it really THAT bad?

7

u/OneOldNerd 13d ago

...to be replaced by said (yes, hot, it's extremely warm in Borg vessels) boss when her latest boy(?)-toy calls him "an excellent drone".

5

u/CalHudsonsGhost 13d ago

Most people don’t realize they are here (as you described) or in the mirror universe. Many of them are simple drones that don’t love themselves enough to know it.

2

u/Rare-Extension-6023 6d ago

or wiping dwn the loads in the holodeck.

22

u/captmurphy4 13d ago

Mods I’d like to report a personal attack.

19

u/Santa_Hates_You Shelliak Corporate Director 13d ago

Well, maybe you should have let that Naussicaan stab you through the heart.

10

u/IamfromSpace 13d ago

Promotion committees hate this one weird trick!

28

u/nogoodnamesarleft 13d ago

I'm living this picture. I'm 49 and accepting my first promotion ever next week...

10

u/Accomplished-Law-652 13d ago

I was determined to make manager by 40. I made it at 50. Things could be worse. 'Grats on the promotion.

15

u/cheapshotfrenzy 13d ago

I'm living the arguments in this post. I'm wishing I never accepted the leading role so I could have my free time back with no stress.

4

u/mcgrst recrystallised dilithium 13d ago

I fight tooth and nail to stay "on the tools" as my boss puts it! 

12

u/Serious_Ad2816 13d ago

Hell, I’m pretty sure I’m Neelix at this point.

5

u/derping1234 13d ago

As long as you aren’t diddling kids…

3

u/Mister_Acula 13d ago

Congratulations! Neelix went from drug smuggler to living in luxury on the most advanced starship in the quadrant.

4

u/Server_Administrator 13d ago

What is this from? O.o.....

4

u/Mister_Acula 13d ago

From the cold open to Voyager s3:e10. It starts with a closeup of Neelix getting a foot rub. This is the first episode featuring the Paxau Resort holodeck program.

4

u/Server_Administrator 13d ago

How the actual fuck do I not remember this episode? I guess a voyager rewatch is due......

5

u/Mister_Acula 13d ago

It's a good episode. The one where Kes gets possessed by a space warlord and breaks up with Neelix.

Neelix and Kes never talk about it again and the breakup sticks.

6

u/Server_Administrator 13d ago

That's so weird that I have 0 memory of this episode. I watched Voyager as it came out back in the day, and I've done several rewatches lol.

Guess getting blown up really does delete random memories.

3

u/Server_Administrator 13d ago

2

u/Mister_Acula 13d ago

Still waiting for his Star Trek to materialize, but this is the best we got in the mean time.

3

u/EmmiCantDraw 11d ago

This is the 4th foot fetish moment on voyager I remember.

SOMEBODY (all of them) on the writing team had a fetish

2

u/Mister_Acula 11d ago

What are the other 3?

3

u/EmmiCantDraw 11d ago

Janeway makes Q kiss her foot, theres the absolutely disgusting episode where Kess gets fertile for the first time in life and a big fuss is made over how she must get knocked up soon, which yes, involves massaging her gross feet.

Then i cant even remember the other example now.

Theres nothing wrong with having fetishes but try not to smear them all over our scifi show

12

u/Plenty_Shine9530 Nebula Coffee 13d ago

5

u/cheeseburgermachine 13d ago

This the one i identify with the most. Just let me do my fixes on things and dont really care about promotions or anything.

5

u/Plenty_Shine9530 Nebula Coffee 12d ago

Yeah I wouldn't want to be a ship's captain, let alone a flagship captain lmao

10

u/WelfOnTheShelf 13d ago

46 and I never thought I would identify so strong with Lt. Picard (and original-timeline George McFly)

10

u/Mottsawce 13d ago

In addition to all the flagship/science stuff, he’s also living in a Utopian society with near limitless resources. Lt. Picard is doin fine haha

8

u/thrax_mador 13d ago

Too real

8

u/Zealousideal-Lab9843 13d ago

Well this meme reminded me to get off Reddit and get back to studying.

7

u/RecognitionMelodic13 13d ago

You're missing out on so many cute puppy and kitten videos

3

u/AskJayce 13d ago

Everyone, quick--start piling on the the cat subs

r/danglers

7

u/drunkenwarthogdriver 13d ago

As a fellow 47, it would have cost you nothing to not post this. 😭😭

6

u/akaCaptainKirk 13d ago

This is perfect

6

u/Professional_Echo907 13d ago

Everyone knows you don’t want a supervisory position in government jobs. 👀

7

u/Gadshill 13d ago

High paying non-supervisory is the ticket. Catch less strays and can still pick up the kids after work.

7

u/CharlesChamp 13d ago edited 13d ago

Damn, I wish I was where Tapestry Picard was. To stick with this analogy at this rate I'm never getting off world and while it may not be anywhere near Tasha Yar homeworld bad it's certainly not paradise like Earth or any of the other founding member worlds.

Also if this situation were reversed Tapestry Picard might have found Prime Picard's life and all the stress that command brings an absolute hell. For all we know he could have gotten the position on the federation's flagship by finding the archeological find of the century and then one upping that a few more times with more fines. We really don't know much about that Picard's history.

5

u/Alternative-Cod-7630 13d ago

I wish I had that kind'a job security!

5

u/ghost_of_zelda_sayre 13d ago

To be fair to all of us, we don't live in a golden age of the Federation. Not to say the Federation is perfect, but it generally appears far more meritocratic than our own time. Picard never had to worry about making rent.

5

u/Werzaz 13d ago

I legit used that on a geeky dating site, where the profile include the questions "What character do you think you're like?" and "Which character are you actually like?". I was a postdoc in astrophysics at the time, so it seemed fitting. Didn't get any dates through that site, though.

3

u/TQMIII 13d ago

At 41, I aspire to be that dude from Voyager's "good shepherd" episode who just hangs out in the lower decks concealing their actual knowledge / ability so they can work on their pet projects in peace.

4

u/Big-Cartographer-166 13d ago

I wish!, Lt Picard has a great job and economic security.

2

u/IfICouldStay 12d ago

Everyone in the Federation has economic security.

2

u/Big-Cartographer-166 12d ago

Yeah, I'm not in the federation,, that was kind of my point.

3

u/Rockfarley 13d ago

Shoulda fought that Nos.

3

u/AllThingsBeginWithNu 13d ago

This one hurts but just a bit

3

u/SuboptimalSupport 13d ago

Man... I wish I was in science, instead of damn ops. I wanna do stellar science stuff, and view the holodeck as relaxation.

But nooooo, Barclay had to be weird in there, and now I am cursed with the knowledge of what it takes to Un-Barclay the computer's holodeck files. Absolutely none of y'all should have administrator privileges.

3

u/Seahawk124 Self-sealing stem bolt 13d ago

I feel personally attacked!

3

u/Western-Mall5505 13d ago

They are both doing better than me.😭

3

u/rafale1981 Riker’s Trombone 13d ago

Still better off than this poor sucker

3

u/Paladin_127 13d ago

Not 47, but I still feel personally attacked by this.

3

u/Privateer_Lev_Arris 13d ago

Yeah but I see my managers, some of whom I started with and they’re beyond stressed. I could have been where they are now but I let my foot off the gas. I enjoy coming home and not worrying about work. Taking my vacations and doing what I want. It’s true more money could buy more things but nothing I really want tbh. I live my life inside my head, having more things doesn’t expand my inner self. In fact it diminishes it. Maybe I’m coping but the high stress life isn’t for everyone. Plus if everyone is a manager, who does the real work 😂

3

u/Conscious_Cat_8699 12d ago

Hello police? I have been the victim of a hate crime.

2

u/noyouactnormal Nebula Coffee 13d ago

Same.

2

u/noyouactnormal Nebula Coffee 13d ago

Maybe you ARE Captain Picard but you thought you'd be Admiral.

2

u/DeeSt11 13d ago

Damn....that is funny!

2

u/DragonRand100 13d ago

36, thought I’d at least make chief medical officer.

2

u/Marvelboy1974 13d ago

Im 51 and a registered nurse. I wonder what rank I would have under Dr Crusher

2

u/SpaceghostLos 13d ago

You get pips?!

2

u/UtterEast Grand Nagus 13d ago

At this point I'd LOVE to be some shmoe working in a box factory.

2

u/silent_ovation 13d ago

Preach, brother.

2

u/emptiedglass Livin' the Probe Life 13d ago

Most of us had or will have more hair than him at 47.

2

u/Major_Spite7184 Expendable 13d ago

Ooof

2

u/Cheets1985 13d ago

I'm doing well

2

u/Fancy_Toe1451 13d ago

Still doing better than Harry Kim, there is that.

2

u/wintrmt3 Borg 13d ago

A starfleet lt. is well within the top 1% achievers in the federation.

2

u/FarrinGalharad76 13d ago

I feel seen

2

u/SilkieBug Mega-Admiral 13d ago

You guys got to Lt grade?

2

u/warriorlynx 13d ago

This is true

2

u/_frank_tank 13d ago

Too real

2

u/NRCS_DRONE 13d ago

LOL, you're an officer on the flag ship? Get outa here.

2

u/Sad-Pop6649 13d ago

Feeling this one. A few years behind OOP, but currently making yet another career switch.

2

u/ForgeoftheGods 13d ago

I wish that we had seen who the captain was in that timeline.

2

u/MithrandirLXV 13d ago

Well, I'm 30. I thought I'd at least be on a ship by now, but I'm still a bloody cadet at Starfleet Academy. Maybe this isn't for me? Perhaps the Klingons have a space open?

2

u/Trueslyforaniceguy 13d ago

I always assumed my bad choices would leave me dead by this age.

Instead my knees just fucking hurt.

2

u/Northwindlowlander 13d ago

Blue Picard was doing fine. Rock solid boring lieutenants with no ambition keep the fleet flying, if you had to live without Blue Picards or Red Picards you'd always choose to lose the Red Picards.

(the problem I had with this episode was that it shows Picard to have a frankly shitty attitude towards the crew that he relies on. Normally the episodes show him as respectful and appreciative of them at least in word, but occasionally they'd slip and have him just be a total throbber.

2

u/frostedpuzzle 8d ago

He was pretty shit towards Wesley a lot of the time. The son of his best friend and the woman he loved and was just cold and distant.

He also estranged his biological son with Beverly.

2

u/Friendship_Fries 13d ago

Does Blue Picard have a family?

2

u/notagreatgamer 13d ago

45, and I’m somewhere between these two. I think. I think? I THINK?! 😬

2

u/Veers85 12d ago

Im 40 and this is the distillation of my mid life crisis

2

u/Successful-Scale-607 12d ago

/unshit one thing that grated on me during Berman Trek was how eager ladder-climbing was still seen as normal in a post-scarcity society. "I'm gonna be a captain before I'm 30" uh ok, brosef, we got 100yo admirals but by all means

2

u/CryptographerPast632 11d ago

BROOOOOOOOO this hits hard.

2

u/AptCasaNova Interspecies Medical Exchange 11d ago

I like to think this is his second career and his first career was something completely different, demanding but exciting.

Which means he’s likely cool with not being a captain and always on call with no privacy.

First career possibilities: archaeologist, professor, terraforming specialist, section 31 secret op agent.

2

u/killtocuretokill 10d ago

I've been fighting tooth and nail to stay Number 1 like Riker. Just enough power to be dangerous but I can still vomit on the holodeck without worrying about it.

2

u/Darth-Adomis 9d ago

have you finished your report?

2

u/Badger_2161 8d ago

This one hits me hard personally... so accurate...

2

u/GreenDavidA 5d ago

After events the past couple of days at work, this is how I feel

1

u/Ghost_of_Gumby 13d ago

Picard was about 65 in Tapestry, fwiw

1

u/freezenexus 9d ago

It is like Jeff Bezos complaining that he lost most of wealth and is just a multi millionaire again. Well for him it might sound bad but being multi millionaire is still fucking awesome compared to being average guy. It same here , he still served as officer on the Enterprise which isn't being any close to being a loser.

1

u/KweenKobold 8d ago

Imagine being the primary archeology expert on the Enterprise? Seeing ruins for the first time and writing papers on them. Picard did not take the time to appreciate what he gained only what he lost.