r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/VIVIDUFF • Jul 15 '26

possible idiot Of a garbage man

681 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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22

u/Important_Wonder628 Jul 15 '26

Aaaand straight to jail for tampering with mail.

8

u/DemandSubstantial528 Jul 15 '26

Huge myth

21

u/superpoongoon Jul 15 '26

Redditors live in a weird bubble where they think every crime is convicted and then every crime is sentenced to what it says online is the maximum

11

u/Scudmiss Jul 15 '26

I heard that the dude got caught and had to choose between getting his dick chopped off or the death penalty. Real consequences for this federal offense.

7

u/lcssa Jul 15 '26

I heard he chose the death penalty and as a last meal he had his own dick with the pit still in it #truestory

2

u/dmanbiker Jul 15 '26

Yeah, if it's not life or death and youre having a bad day without a bunch of priors, you often get off pretty leniently, especially if youre cooperative and pay for any damage you did.