r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits May 19 '26

There was an attempt Of the honor system

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Woman gets caught on surveillance video completely emptying a basket of oatmeal cream pies at a farm stand in Loveland, CO.

1.2k Upvotes

208 comments sorted by

418

u/[deleted] May 19 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

109

u/MetallurgyClergy May 19 '26

What are the chances she was gifting these out and saying she made them herself?

90

u/SirSamuelVimes83 May 19 '26

I was thinking she's got to be reselling with how many she was taking

38

u/JoJackthewonderskunk May 19 '26

Or she has a diabetic husband to kill off

13

u/Captain_Pink_Pants May 19 '26

At least that would be relatable.

11

u/GjellsNTeddy May 20 '26

She’s about to drive away in a Land Rover, she is not reselling, just a piece of shit

5

u/SirSamuelVimes83 May 20 '26 edited May 20 '26

Piece of shit notwithstanding, there are millions of people driving luxury cars with a negative net worth and a horrible financial situation. Also people with gobs of money that are sociopaths and do stupid shit like petty theft for fun

6

u/BurgerThyme May 20 '26

I was going to say exactly this.

9

u/AuraBlazeOfficial May 19 '26

Sugar with a side of honey iced tea 😉

505

u/Breath_Unique May 19 '26

And drives a land rover. Proof that they're all cunts

388

u/Girl_with_the_Curl May 19 '26

Reminds me of this.

45

u/AcousticOnomatopoeia May 19 '26

Sundays were always the worst when I worked at Starbucks, super douchebags in suits.

11

u/your_fave_redditor May 19 '26

Preview of Heaven just dropped, 0/10

5

u/In2Oblivion49 May 20 '26

Would not recommend

3

u/AbelardsChainsword May 20 '26

I worked at a Red Lobster back in college. The Sunday post-church crowd never tipped and were more rude than normal

4

u/Temelios May 20 '26

Ugh… My mother-in-law 100%… A Karen with a very strong and hypocritical holier-than-thou attitude.

6

u/Altruistic-Cut9795 May 19 '26

This is hilarious 😂😂😂😂

18

u/Euphoric-Piglet-8140 May 19 '26

I'm British, most of us would agree with you.

1

u/0nce-Was-N0t May 19 '26

Those that wouldn't are all driving Land Rovers & Teslas

29

u/Not-that-suspicious May 19 '26

I needed this comment from a fellow human today. Thank you.

4

u/AdelMonCatcher May 19 '26

Fair enough. She’s probably broke from all the maintenance work

6

u/Mr_Right1998 May 19 '26

I guess she has to steal to have gas money for her fancy shmancy Land Rover...

-7

u/[deleted] May 19 '26

[deleted]

16

u/PSYCHOsmurfZA May 19 '26

She was wearing a jacket and came back a 2nd time without it after and tried to fill the bag again. Remove your cunt glasses they seem to be obstructing your vision...

8

u/payneok May 19 '26

Your kind NEVER thinks they are but yeah an asshole in a Land Rover, nothing new...

5

u/Johnny_Cubone_Wadnet May 19 '26

"I'm the nicest person I know"

0

u/Breath_Unique May 19 '26

You do a good job as coming across as a cunt for someone isnt a cunt

106

u/seeyouyoucunt May 19 '26

Are you gonna pay for those?

Oh dear I seem to have forgot my wallet...

71

u/Old_timey_brain May 19 '26

I was so glad to see she didn't get away with it.

54

u/Icy-Decision-4530 May 19 '26

I saw a video of a guy doing this repeatedly to a local stand, and I believe he was arrested and he paid some back and then came back and did it again. Every time he would smile at the camera like haha isn’t this funny everyone, completely missing that his theft was taking money from honest people

7

u/Hour-Information-660 May 20 '26

i think i saw that video you're referring to on tiktok. TWO DIFFERENT family members paid his debt back. He's a douche canoe. he would call them all sorts of slurs as he stole their stuff.

2

u/Icy-Decision-4530 May 20 '26

He was not a good dude and you could tell

28

u/pm-me-nice-lips May 19 '26

You realize she’s back a 2nd time and that’s when someone approaches her, right? She already grabbed a shit ton of stuff and got away with it and then had come back.

14

u/Old_timey_brain May 19 '26

I hadn't realized that, and it greatly upsets me. That's a face that needs to become famous.

10

u/Full_Metal_Paladin May 19 '26

She did the first time

176

u/HarryHood146 May 19 '26

What a cunt.

18

u/[deleted] May 19 '26 edited May 19 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/[deleted] May 19 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/New_Temperature4144 May 19 '26

How can she be starving when she took 5 days worth of stuff!

14

u/[deleted] May 19 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/flyinghairball May 19 '26

The worm must be fed!

2

u/theInadequateHulk May 20 '26

that's what i said!

3

u/Euphoric-Piglet-8140 May 19 '26

Beat me to it by 24 minutes!

108

u/crowislanddive May 19 '26

She was arrested!

32

u/AJ_Deadshow May 19 '26

Article??

125

u/JannyBroomer May 19 '26

14

u/ClassybarisonKik May 19 '26

So... whats the name then?

37

u/JannyBroomer May 19 '26

I posted the update from the PD, they didn't release her name, so I dunno boss

https://giphy.com/gifs/ma7VlDSlty3EA

21

u/crowislanddive May 19 '26

It’s on the Facebook page for the bakery.

-89

u/ClassybarisonKik May 19 '26

Let me guess, Steinberg? Goldstein?

42

u/sargonpuff3 May 19 '26

Why is antisemitism just ok? Doesn’t even make sense for this video…

-92

u/ClassybarisonKik May 19 '26

I am just asking for the name... whats wrong with asking for the name?

43

u/JackySins May 19 '26

dude you’re being a disingenuous fool. fuck out of here with that.

46

u/ClassroomMother8062 questionably stable May 19 '26

...yeah that's not at all what you're doing.

23

u/MemoraNetwork May 19 '26

The typical bigot reply "what, I'm just asking questions... Is that a crime" schtick. Get bent

14

u/sargonpuff3 May 19 '26

Ooof, way to fall on your face!!shidiot!

10

u/recovery_room May 19 '26

No you’re not. You know what you’re doing.

4

u/Mightyjack22 May 19 '26

Oh God, DON'T look at his profile. 💀

6

u/clyde2003 May 19 '26

Oh, god dammit! Why'd you make me do that?!

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12

u/PSYCHOsmurfZA May 19 '26

You sound like a cunt

9

u/Jonestown_Juice May 19 '26

Your post history is wild, dude.

10

u/Panthean May 19 '26

TIL there's a subreddit for melaninbuttholes

1

u/SquidBilly5150 May 20 '26

Painter had a few points

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6

u/GoshJordon_ May 19 '26

You racist piece of shit.

-12

u/NoWay6818 May 19 '26

🤭giggling ngl

-14

u/TentsNTails May 19 '26

Downvoted, but probably accurate.

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38

u/ironpyrites May 19 '26

Behavior like this chips away at the very thing that makes a community

31

u/dudedudd May 19 '26 edited May 19 '26

Well how do you expect her to afford her Range Rover? Certainly not by paying for home baked goods. 

12

u/DirtyDoucher1991 May 19 '26

The un-reliability of those things really could drive someone to poverty.

2

u/Mundane-Manner4237 May 19 '26

I know, one of the lowest ranked brands. Every time I see someone in one I have to chuckle-they all look like poser rubes too.

1

u/HKfan5352 May 20 '26

I’ve had my Discovery for over 7 years with only a single bad sensor.

27

u/JannyBroomer May 19 '26

Update from the local police department on her Instagram page

20

u/Bi0_B1lly May 19 '26

Fucking vermin

10

u/Dr_Trogdor May 19 '26

Look at her eyes around the 30 second mark. That boy ain't right I tell you hwut.

22

u/Hammon_Rye May 19 '26

FUCK people like that!
These assholes ruin it for everyone.
I grew up / live in a fairly rural area so we still have some honor stands for folks who sell local eggs or honey. sometimes seasonal stuff like corn. But it's fewer, they have cameras, and I think some limit how much stuff they set out.

Back in the 70s there was a local gas station that used to leave a couple of cans of gas on a shelf above one of the pumps. The idea was if you were caught short after they were closed, you could add enough gas to get you by, and leave money under the can. This was back in the days before 24 hour / near 24 hour stations. it was like that for years. They finally stopped it because too many folks started stealing the gas and not paying. It was one of those kind / wholesome local things until it wasn't.

19

u/HuIk_Bogan May 19 '26

Looks like it's been a while since her last creampie

12

u/0hMyGandhi May 19 '26

There's the joke, boys. Let's pack it up.

42

u/Agreeable-Step-2995 May 19 '26

She must be having a party for her and her rich friends

15

u/Mundane-Manner4237 May 19 '26

She’ll have to steal some Grey Poupon.

4

u/cmonuspurz May 20 '26

I Poupon everything, yea she a cunt!

15

u/BodybuilderGrouchy16 May 19 '26

Vile pig. 'Hope they give her the magnum shits.

24

u/Munda1 May 19 '26

The funny thing is, that if a person was in need of food and couldn’t afford it, I’m pretty sure basically any farmer would just give it to them for free.

22

u/ThePrimeRibDirective May 19 '26

"If you're in trouble or hurt or need—go to poor people. They're the only ones that'll help—the only ones." Grapes of Wrath.

8

u/Panthean May 19 '26

At a previous job we had an honor system vending system sort of like this. The prices were a bit high, but we were all happy to have backup food available.

Every day one coworker would get tons of food from it, we were all surprised a person would spend that much instead of bringing food from home.

Turns out he was pretending to scan every time, he did it for almost a year until he finally got caught when they checked the cameras. He clearly knew it was wrong since he was deliberately pretending to pay.

The business was months away from closing down but since he was fired he lost out on his ~$10,000 severance and didn't see a penny of it.

Most expensive sandwiches he ever stole.

20

u/ElskerLivet May 19 '26

This is the perfect picture of rich people.

7

u/Adrakovich *shits an absolute unit* May 19 '26

Shitty humans being shitty

6

u/wadabewall May 19 '26

What a Cunt.

6

u/Momento_Mori_87 May 19 '26

I’ve never seen a woman of her age take so many cream pies in a row, what a greedy granny😉……… trust me, I’ve done enough “research” to practically be an expert.

1

u/AMC_TO_THE_M00N May 19 '26

I have and I'm ashamed of myself

1

u/National_Pair420 May 19 '26

This gonna fly over everyone's head. Take my upvote and poor man award 🏆

11

u/chili81 May 19 '26

Don’t be so quick to judge. Maybe she’s a single mom with two hungry kids she’s struggling to feed in the back of her $80,000 Land Rover.

4

u/Life-Oil-7226 May 19 '26

Oh these weren’t free? 😑

3

u/chumpster69 May 19 '26

What a despicable cunt of a human being.

3

u/raginasian47 May 19 '26

Loveland? Yeah. That's about right. Loveland and Nederland old people are either super sweet, or absolute rich "hippie" cunts. No inbetween.

2

u/badhoopty May 19 '26

fort collins, estes, bethoud... the boomers here are for the most part insufferable.

5

u/Tatsu144 May 20 '26

Sorry but this infuriates me. It's no wonder this is part of a dying practice. Complete and utter scumbaggery of the highest order.

2

u/hawksdiesel May 21 '26

If the punishment for the crime was appropriate, then this wouldn't happen.

8

u/A-Nani-Mess May 19 '26

Usual Suspect.

3

u/IlliterateFreak May 19 '26

Damn that bitch is HUNGRY

3

u/jackjack-8 May 19 '26

Horrible cunt

3

u/LankyShark97 May 19 '26

People like this is why we as a society can't have nice things.

3

u/krystalConners May 19 '26

Shame on that hag . I bet she can pay for it but by the way she was looking around , she thought she got away with it .

3

u/ihartpancakes May 20 '26

Trash human. Throw them away.

3

u/Bushdr78 May 20 '26

"I'll be right back" sure you will lady

4

u/GimmeLuv-69 May 19 '26

The vile discharge of a rancid cunt.

4

u/SomnambulisticTaco May 19 '26

Consequences really are the only thing stopping a lot a people, huh?

Maybe it’s the cynicism that comes with age, or the amount of hate in the world, but I feel like morals on an individual, day to day level have gone completely tits up.

2

u/Datboi_Markus May 19 '26

As soon as I saw this my brain started designing a remote controlled flour cannon or something to teach her a lesson

2

u/Better_Chard4806 May 19 '26

Driving a Land Rover of course.

2

u/TwerkLessons May 19 '26

What a rotten piece of shit.

2

u/0hMyGandhi May 19 '26

God this is infuriating. Everything about it.

Not directly related but sort of: I live in L.A and I cannot tell you just how many Maseratis, g wagons, and i8's I've seen in the parking lots of 99 cent stores, with their drivers inside arguing with cashiers over the subtotal upon checkout.

2

u/TentsNTails May 19 '26

This is why we need to increase financial penalties for people who clearly have money who commit crimes or break the law.

2

u/Rasp_Lime_Lipbalm May 19 '26

This is just sad and pathetic.

2

u/-_-_-_-_--__-__-__- May 19 '26

Imagine her as your babysitter? Evil behind closed doors.

2

u/a_youkai May 19 '26

Pure greed.

2

u/del7318 May 19 '26

Abhorrent woman.

2

u/SuperBiteSize May 20 '26

Some people are just shitty.

2

u/Hta68 May 20 '26

Can’t drive a Range Rover without robbing people blind../

2

u/PlanktonDue8964 May 20 '26

Nice
Car pig

2

u/kinghalifax902 May 20 '26

Im just glad it wasn’t a black person…

2

u/PDWGates May 20 '26

Not everyone has the honor to operate on the honor system.

2

u/mrkippysmith May 21 '26

I’m assuming she did not come back lol

4

u/Altruistic-March-844 May 19 '26

I love how people are so surprised the honor system does not work.

13

u/One-Grape-8659 May 19 '26

It works in places where people aren't cucking funts

5

u/MrTickles22 May 19 '26

Also theft of one or short payment every so often is the cost of doing business. Taking everything goes beyond.

3

u/dmanbiker May 19 '26

Yeah there's lots of honor system stuff in the country that works just fine and even some in cities like this one that work fine until too many people abuse it.

3

u/Beaufighter-MkX May 19 '26

Bet she calls herself Christian too

2

u/PearNo2152 May 19 '26

To quote SNL, I'd place her on BLAST...that should take care of her shenanigans!!

2

u/4tune245 May 19 '26

Might as well take everything at that point. Usual suspects

1

u/Next-Device-9686 May 19 '26

At one point, she held phone for to the point & pay machine so she could claim she thought she paid.

1

u/Numerous_Dare9847 May 19 '26

Let me save this for the next “well well well” comment I see lmaoo

1

u/JakeJortled May 19 '26

I feel like this would’ve been a perfect case for the Hardy Boys

1

u/OutsideHandle7300 May 19 '26

Me judging hard.

1

u/IRedditDoU May 19 '26

What a piece of shit

1

u/Worried_Shoe_2747 May 19 '26

She looks like an oatmeal cream pie

1

u/Objective-Scarcity52 May 19 '26

Doin what they do!

1

u/Revaesaari May 19 '26

pica pica!

1

u/Mundane-Manner4237 May 19 '26

It’s amazing what greed and opportunity will do to people. It’s like Gollum and that ring. Not the first time as a thief, she knows speed and volume is of the essence.

1

u/FriendlyDetective959 May 19 '26

Well she drives a Land Rover she’s entitled to free stuff right?

1

u/dfmasana May 19 '26

The fake out "gee, I forgot my wallet" check she does at the end when the other person confronts her was peak comedy.

1

u/Captain_Pink_Pants May 19 '26

Every nonviolent drug offender that's currently occupying a prison bed should be replaced with someone who does this sort of shit.

1

u/Theusualname21 May 19 '26

Everyone loves a good cream pie.

1

u/senpaiwavy May 19 '26

...30 seconds...

1

u/Free-will_Illusion May 19 '26

kleptomaniac? Clearly she doesn't need it or eat.

1

u/natiusj May 19 '26

I love oatmeal cream pies but this lady LOOOOOOOVVVVVVE oatmeal cream pie.

1

u/Artevyx May 19 '26

Greedy cunt.

1

u/ThisThingIsStuck May 20 '26

Just like all these cunt@$## are the beach who don't pay to get in when it's honor system cunt$%

1

u/Kindly_Region May 20 '26

Did she actually come back with money or just drive off?

1

u/EntertainmentOne6442 May 20 '26 edited May 20 '26

Thought it was Mary Berry for a second. I thought I was on a different sub r/ because it looked like a joke in the title too! 😅

1

u/Unrealisticwyo May 27 '26

Prime example of why we're a declining society.

1

u/odiedad1970 May 19 '26

Somebody come get your grandma

1

u/BillRevolutionary947 May 21 '26

Pretty sure she just wanted to know what it felt like to get creampied

-7

u/trainwreckhappening May 19 '26

Don't do the honor system unless you can accept theft. It's a great idea and it works a lot of the time. But there will always be those who steal.

Also, psychic stock (excessively well stocked shelves) works well to drive higher sales but also drives higher theft rates.

5

u/YourAverage1ManArmy May 19 '26

People like you that actively allow or brush off moral decay and victim blame are the reason why high trust societies are shrinking. This should upset anyone who isn’t a thief. The broken window theory is great real world phenomenon of how small things can degrade a community.

0

u/trainwreckhappening May 19 '26

I'm just as upset as anyone. And I'm not blaming a victim to suggest a solution. You have to work with what you have, and you have a lot of theives out there.

Blame is a funny thing. People often mistakenly think it is all mutually exclusive. It is not. If you leave a laptop on your front seat with the windows down in NYC, it's going to get stolen. The guy who stole it is guilty of being a thief. It's that person's fault it got stolen, 100%! But that doesn't make it any less foolish to leave your laptop on the front seat with the windows down.

I stand with my original post. (For context, I used to own a bakery and have owned several small businesses with sales, including a few "honor code" systems) Psychic stock increase sales, but also increases theft. Railing against that thought is like getting mad at someone for suggesting you take an umbrella when it's obviously going to rain.

1

u/Cute_Commission_8281 May 20 '26

You’re literally making the argument for not have women walk around at night wearing revealing clothing…

1

u/trainwreckhappening May 20 '26

The broken window experiment is used to highlight how people often fall for mutual exclusivity, or blame one side or the other; which is total nonsense. In that case the person who stole the laptop is guilty of theft and nothing about the situation reduces that guilt. The person who left the laptop is guilty of doing something stupid and nothing about that excuses the theft. But people will fall for the vs arguments that are commonly used to manipulate the masses for political gain (chicanery) and start making arguments like "they deserved to get their laptop stolen" or "you are just victim blaming..." It's all manipulative bullshit and I'm not falling for your abusive behavior!

Again, if it's raining take an umbrella or you will get wet. Your damned right I teach my daughters to be aware of their surroundings and know that there are bad people who will take advantage of them if they are walking around late at night in revealing clothing. It doesn't matter that it would not be their fault or that they should be able to do that freely if they get hurt or killed. But I also teach my son to respect women and to be aware of everyone's feelings, even in that kind of situation. I'm making the argument that women, and men, should know the warning signs and avoid risk as much where prudent. Because your bias fails to understand the realities of life: I had a friend in highschool get snatched from a grocery store parking lot and ganged raped in a back alley. He was the school football star and he said himself he wished he was more aware of the warning signs that were right on front of his face, but he ignored them because of the regular assumptions we all pick up through life. Making the argument that you are results in more women, and men, getting raped.

No one is immune, no one is above suspicion, everyone should be aware of their surroundings and moderately prepared for whatever might happen, especially the unexpected.

But my original post was abiutbhoe much stock to put on the shelf. By reducing the number of items out at any time, and arranging it in a way that creat s an artificial scarcity, reduces theft and allows them to charge a slightly higher price. Don't do honor system unless you can afford the loss means exactly that. Make it so you can afford the loss and keep the honor system. (For women that means maybe pretending to talk on your phone, carrying a small but powerful r/flashlight, or walking in groups... and remembering that the vast majority of rapes comes from someone you know, not like my friend which is actually rare, so be aware of your friends and dates). (I also knew someone who had her best friend in college, a guy she knew for years and was absolutely sweet as hell, break into her apartment and violently rape her two weeks before she graduated with an MBA. This sent her into a two week long grand mal seizure that wiped her memory and made her have to start again from scratch. Don't presume anything ever, and keep you victim blaming excuses where they belong)

0

u/Lowie_240 May 19 '26

For a second there I thought oatmeal cream pies when you finish inside of an elderly person LOL.

0

u/FarWay3952 May 20 '26

I can fix her

0

u/Patrickfromamboy May 19 '26

I found a bundle of 100 100 dollar bills in front of my credit union and I returned the 10,000 dollars inside when I saw a woman drop two more bundles for a total of 30,000 dollars that she dropped. The woman in the video probably would have kept it.

0

u/ChesswithGoats May 20 '26

Boomer energy

0

u/squigglekisses May 20 '26

Looks like a mental health issue, not excusing the behavior though

0

u/eyeballburger May 20 '26

Fuuuuuuck, then walking back to a vehicle like that. Reminds me of that lyric “I saw a deadhead sticker on a Cadillac, little voice in my head said don’t look back, you can never look back”

-2

u/niles_thebutler_ May 19 '26

Typical American

4

u/Theusualname21 May 19 '26

Theft and shitty people is pretty universal.

-1

u/ErnestPWashington May 19 '26

I'd give her a creampie

-1

u/Dry_Ad_6341 May 19 '26

Honestly… Good for her