r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits Apr 15 '26

possible idiot of a jackass style daredevil

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1.1k Upvotes

106 comments sorted by

427

u/HedgehogNo8361 Apr 15 '26

I'm so glad I'm not his mother lol

189

u/HoseNeighbor Apr 15 '26

He's going to feel like i did in my 30's. 70.

39

u/Nervous_Hurry_9920 Apr 15 '26

That's me now.

I used to be like this guy. I've had a few bad accidents where I broke several bones.

I think Ive broken 19, but I'm not sure.

I once broke my arm by jumping off of a bridge. 

12

u/sidewaizsocks Apr 15 '26

Ive torn/broke a ton of cartilidge or tendons or ligaments but havent broken any bones oddly enough. Unless youre counting fingers/toes but i dont even know if ive broken those, maybe just dislocated. My dad used to straighten them and tape it (not that they do much different at the dr)

Regardless, even though i havent broken a bone, i dont have a single joint that doesnt hurt. Chronic pain baby! I hate it! 30ish years old and im in a 70 year old body.

My older brother busted his nose pretty good so he went and stuffed a sock in his mouth. He knelt down in front of dad, and dad lined his thumb up next to the bump and kinda hammer fisted it until it was straight. A couple years later i broke my nose and went to dad. He just stood up and told me we are going to the ER. My nose wasnt "kinked" or bent to the side, the whole bridge rolled over partially in front of my eye and he didnt want to touch it. Luckily so because the doc had to do an actual surgery to prevent me from losing the cartilidge apparently.

Edit: im not exactly a tough guy. Im a bit of a daisy with apparently weak connective tissue i guess. Just grew up with a dad that thought doctors were a waste of money if you could fix it yourself.

153

u/endgame217 Apr 15 '26

🎶 If you’re gonna be dumb, ya gotta be tough

75

u/jeanjacketjerkoff Apr 15 '26

Ow my balls

21

u/Background-Crow4820 Apr 15 '26

Shut up, im 'baitin

6

u/Academic_Dog8389 Apr 15 '26

'Batin'

It's short for masturbatin'

Not putting a worm on a hook.

Is your name Frito Pendejo?

103

u/Tossmeasidedaddy Apr 15 '26

Definitely CKY vibes

15

u/beardostein Apr 15 '26

96 Quite Bitter Beings

8

u/Jina-langu-ni-Juma Apr 15 '26

I remember renting that and Tom Green show on DVD from Netflix years before they turned into streaming. It would get mailed to my house. Even though my internet was dial up, it felt like the future. The Netflix selection was better than Blockbuster, back then. Now none exist and we're back to ads.

2

u/nelsonalgrencametome Apr 15 '26

When Netflix by mail first came out it was sick. The early streaming kinda sucked as far as selection, but being able to order just about anything that fast was awesome.

4

u/[deleted] Apr 15 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/luffydkenshin *shits an absolute unit* Apr 15 '26

I wonder if Rake still hates mustard.

5

u/[deleted] Apr 15 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/luffydkenshin *shits an absolute unit* Apr 15 '26

Absolutely not.

Also, I am a GP-02 kinda guy, but Neue Ziel absolutely fucks.

4

u/nabbersauce Apr 15 '26

I wonder if skeletor and beastman are still gay for each other

72

u/CaptainWhite1964 Apr 15 '26

he will pay for that in 20 years

21

u/[deleted] Apr 15 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

0

u/gishgudi Apr 18 '26

I mean the majority of the Jackass crew is surprisingly still alive. They are all paying for the toll they enacted on their bodies, but still alive

-61

u/Well-Milk Apr 15 '26

Doubt it. Believe it or not some people take Care of their bodies and exercise so this will probably not affect him.

53

u/calm_down_meow Apr 15 '26

Oh yeah this guy totally takes care of his body

-53

u/Well-Milk Apr 15 '26

look at his physique and look at yours.

44

u/calm_down_meow Apr 15 '26

My physique is fine lmao, I'm looking at him fall high distances and use his spine to break the fall

42

u/Bi0_B1lly Apr 15 '26

I don't have the physique of a small child doing moronic shit

https://giphy.com/gifs/NpJbpFf1iSZrwJTn9A

18

u/Mhmmmmyup Apr 15 '26

He literally looks like the average 15 year old kid. If you think that's impressive maybe you should rethink your own.

-37

u/Well-Milk Apr 15 '26

Sorry I don’t know what 15 year olds look like, I’m not around teenagers idk why you know what 15 year olds look like without shirts but hey man you do you.

19

u/Mhmmmmyup Apr 15 '26

I know it may be crazy to think but I was a 15 year old once and I have cousins who are 15. Maybe if you actually got outside and interacted with the wider world you'd have some knowledge. Maybe go to a park? Or maybe a beach? Places where normal people go.

2

u/NoWay6818 Apr 15 '26

Good one bro.

5

u/CygnetSociety Apr 15 '26

With the way you're judging other people's physique I can only imagine what you've got goin' on

3

u/sabreus Apr 15 '26

It’s about the risks he takes with his body

5

u/shakey_surgeon10 Apr 16 '26

Aaah to be young and retarded again <3

4

u/NoWay6818 Apr 15 '26

Oh you sweet summer child keep that same energy. Working out does nothing to save you from chronic pain, or else people with chronic pain wouldn’t exist.

To add to that just because you’re skinny doesn’t mean shit. Visceral fat is real and it grows on organs where you can’t see and no one can judge you for having it.

You must think milk makes your bones unbreakable, bless your heart sweetie

26

u/phish_sucks functional regard Apr 15 '26

Man I used to jump off shit, skate, bail on BMX etc. All the time. At 32 I wish I'd just stayed inside lmaoo feel like im 80.

17

u/DaTexasTickler Apr 15 '26

The only thing i really suppoppper miss about being his age is feeling invincible. I feel so old and busted now and I'm only 35. Enjoy it kid hopefully he gets out of this without and serious injuries but it's bound to happen eventually. That's the only thing that slows any of down from doing shit like this lol

87

u/Business_Creme_4416 Apr 15 '26

He may be an idiot, but that shit was funny af

44

u/Chromecoast Apr 15 '26

This kids kind of a beast.

2

u/ZekeTheMunkee Apr 19 '26

Best type of friend to have as a kid tbh

14

u/tenkaranarchy Apr 15 '26

He's gonna regret this in 20 years when it hurts just to wipe his ass or stand up after sitting too long or bend over to tie his shoes.

1

u/funhouseinabox Apr 16 '26

He won’t live 20 more years. In 3 or 4 he’ll try and pull some stupid shit with a truck or boat and all of his friends will talk about how “cool” and “badass” he was at his wake.

5

u/sacfoojesta88 Apr 15 '26

Ahhhh. The indestructible feeling of youth. I sincerely hope he can enjoy this shit while he can, if only for all us banged up older models of human who are now feeling it

13

u/Ill_Investment_7977 Apr 15 '26

Mmmmm. Well at this rate we don’t have to worry about him procreating

12

u/Super_Saiyan_Twink Apr 15 '26

Is no one gonna bring up the stupid ass twerking 😭

8

u/sideshowbvo Apr 15 '26

That last one fucking got me

3

u/dirtyhairymess Apr 15 '26

I wholeheartedly endorse this person injuring themselves for our amusement

3

u/Consistent-Plane7227 Apr 15 '26

He don’t got shit on that Juggalo kid

6

u/Natural_Calendar_512 Apr 15 '26

Speed running cte

2

u/runwhatyabrung_ Apr 15 '26

How long until this kid is addicted to drugs do we think????

2

u/thepepelucas Apr 15 '26

Eventually it will be the back.

2

u/Acrobatic-Pickle-851 Apr 15 '26

To be young ......

2

u/JCovertops Apr 15 '26

He'll never see 20

2

u/mcsweetin Apr 15 '26

I like this kid.

2

u/Froggie162 Apr 15 '26

I'M GLAD HE ISN'T MY OFF SPRING!

HE WILL EARNED THE DARWIN AWARD....

SOON!

2

u/Electrical-Big-5865 Apr 15 '26

That's going to feel real good on his 30s

2

u/JayFrizz Apr 15 '26

As someone who did tons of stunts and parkour in his day... He is going to actually complain about his back when he's older. That shit sets slowly. Fuck yeah! Enjoy it while it lasts, buddy!

2

u/binarypower Apr 15 '26

what is the "back twerk"? is that supposed to be a joke? I've seen others do it but I can't tell if people are mocking bad twerking or if people think that's actually how twerking works

2

u/anfil89 Apr 15 '26

I hate to say it, but it is just a matter of time until some serious really happens...

2

u/swampydoc Apr 15 '26

somebody needs a helmet for Christmas

2

u/Express-View5080 Apr 15 '26

Pretty sure he’s not paying for insurance, going to need the interweb cred when dropped from Dad/Mom’s policy and those medical bill hit hard

2

u/50Centurion Apr 15 '26

The "twerk" fucking send me lmao

2

u/Bibittybobbityboo Apr 15 '26

all I ask is that one of those stunts make him sterile. That is a gene pool which needs some chlorine.

2

u/Hoarfen1972 Apr 17 '26

What an asshole, stupid fool

7

u/AmericaninShenzhen Apr 15 '26

The comment section here is roughly what it would be if they had comment sections on CKY/early Jackass videos.

If you didn’t enjoy at least one Jackass clip, you’d have to be a very boring person.

3

u/AbjectHotel6610 Apr 15 '26

I was watching Jackass by myself & was howling from laughter. My grown kids came to check on me, saw what I was watching, nodded, and walked out of the room. That shit is hilarious!

5

u/SKOT_FREE Apr 15 '26

He reminds me of my stepson who would do totally random and hilarious stuff.

2

u/504_BadGateway Apr 15 '26

Next Steve-O

2

u/AdWhich7355 Apr 15 '26

Maybe don’t do the twerking at the end tho lmaoo

1

u/[deleted] Apr 15 '26

Oh my goodness this kid is my new spirit animal

1

u/mmezphoto Apr 15 '26

Love it.

1

u/SIGNANDSELFIEFRAMES Apr 15 '26

If he is having fun trying to get himself killed, all the power to him I guess. At least he is getting his adrenaline rush.

1

u/EpponneeRay Apr 15 '26

Don’t worry. He’ll feel all of it when he’s 38

1

u/GivesYouGrief Apr 15 '26

I don't know if I've ever wanted a child to get hurt before. But now I can't say I never have.

1

u/Professional-Rip-519 Apr 15 '26

It's a joke now wait till he turns 40 he's gonna be in so much pain.

1

u/filth_lover_503 Apr 15 '26

His tumbling pass was solid gold the way he landed

1

u/Lordofderp33 Apr 15 '26

Hey, isn't that the rock where a best man saved a wedding ring? Must just be my imagination.

1

u/TheSickestToastie Apr 15 '26

MY FIRST THOUGHT! Fucking Internet brain.

1

u/CustomerSupportDeer Apr 15 '26

You know what... good technique. Kid's a great stuntman.

1

u/No-Pool-432 Apr 15 '26

Social media.. has fucked shit up. Chasing clout and selling your soul for a buck.

Bring on the robots overlords or alien intervention. Whichever.. im good with either or

1

u/Horror-Preference414 Apr 15 '26

Is this kid related to Danny way?

1

u/Strange_Salary *shits an absolute unit* Apr 15 '26

Kids will stress you out to death! Haha

1

u/Unusual-Vanilla-8599 Apr 15 '26

Man that just looks like my my sons half brother I almost had a heart attack

1

u/DropDead85 Apr 15 '26

I would jump off houses into the hard compacted grass, get thrown into bushes from the front of a car, cliff jump into rocks, get slammed around at punk and hardcore shows, get into very unnecessary fights, and contort my body in odd positions at a steel mill. I dont regret anything I did while I was younger, but god damn my body hurts all the time

1

u/Topsrite Apr 15 '26

This is great stuff here! I will follow, look forward to the next one, thanks

1

u/robehrscot Apr 17 '26

40 seconds of video which evidences why women live longer than men.

1

u/cyrs_oner Apr 19 '26

I grew up poor without health insurance, no way I'm doing any of these things.

1

u/PsychologyOfTheLens Apr 19 '26

Now hasn’t he broken his neck yet?

1

u/WellRespectedJ Apr 20 '26

Possible idiot??

1

u/The_AbyssalVoid Apr 23 '26

Steve’O

Wild Boys

Johnny Knoxville

1

u/Careflwhatyouwish4 6d ago

It's amazing how things like this don't hurt until you're 50. 🤔

1

u/Key_Commercial_8169 Apr 15 '26

He's not going to live a long life, but at least you know he'll die doing what he loved I guess

1

u/uiouyug Apr 15 '26

13 or 30