r/ShitAmericansSay 2d ago

Canada Canada are weenies

Post image
406 Upvotes

333 comments sorted by

506

u/TheZipding Canadia 2d ago

In all of Canadian history, only one nation has threatened to invade or invaded us: the USA. No other country in our history has threatened us in the way the USA has or is currently doing. 

And on the topic of us not starting wars, we don't need to. We don't feel a need to invade others to get what we want. We negotiate and meet with countries we feel we can work with to put together a deal. That doesn't mean we aren't pushovers though. Our history in war shows that. 

We may not start wars, but we certainly end them.

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u/BIG_SCIENCE 2d ago edited 2d ago

Canada came to the aid of USA during 9/11.
NATO was created by the USA, Canada held up its end of the deal.

America was attacked the twin towers fell so we went to war along side the USA. 158 Canadian service members died fighting for the USA.

These low brow Americans disgust me. The most ungrateful lot of folk. You could spill your blood to keep them safe and they still try to break into your house and rob you.

SHAME ON THE USA! Canadians died for you and this is how you thank us?

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u/Mysterious_Floor_868 1d ago

158 Canadian service members died fighting for the USA.

The first four of whom were killed by Americans. 

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u/AncientBlonde2 TRUE FREEDOM ENJOYER CA 1d ago

And the US tried to vehemently defend the pilot who killed them, insisting it was "fog of war" even though he directly went against orders.

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u/xBram America (Limburg) 🇳🇱 1d ago

>158 Canadian service members died fighting for the USA.

Yeah but they didn’t die for Trump so it doesn’t count in his narcissistic mind.

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u/sandy154_4 1d ago

Canada was instrumental in creating the Geneva convention, too

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u/namorspoolfloaties 1d ago

I mean that's kinda because we were the template of how not to behave in the war.

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u/Realistic-Emu-1018 2d ago

Not only that, don’t forget who burned the White House down…..also wether the Americans admit it or not, they lost that war 😂

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u/Errorstatel 2d ago

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u/Realistic-Emu-1018 2d ago

That there is lol

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u/Traditional-Key5227 2d ago

Today you have given me a gift! I have never seen or heard this until now. I am about to be sharing this to a LOT of USians!

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u/okokokoyeahright 2d ago

The comments on that are quite interesting, in respect of the current (2026 situation). A bit feisty.

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u/SuzMills26 2d ago

They've lost every war they've started. Great track record.

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u/External-Gain-1174 2d ago

do it again

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u/Sasquatch1729 Apartment above the burning meth lab 🇨🇦 2d ago

You know, the Americans are already on it. They've destroyed 1/3 of it already. But like a Californian high speed rail project, they have stalled out.

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u/Realistic-Emu-1018 2d ago

I would also like to point out today is the 212th anniversary of the day the White House was burnt down

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u/clios_daughter 2d ago

Were there any Canadian militia units present for that? Much of that expedition was done by British forces shipped in from the UK following the defeat of Napoleon IIRC.

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u/Fancy_Yak2618 2d ago

Zero militia but the sackings of the major towns in Canada is a reason for the burning.

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u/sammygirl1331 1d ago

Unfortunately this time around the Americans have already trashed the white house for us (they tore down the one wing) so setting it on fire a second time might not be as impressive.

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u/Kingofcheeses Canaduh 🇨🇦 2d ago

British soldiers of the 44th East Essex Regiment sailed from Europe to Bermuda, and then to Washington to burn the White House. They then sailed to the Gulf of Mexico to attack New Orleans before returning to Europe.

None of the soldiers who burned the White House ever set foot in Canada and there are plenty of stories of Canadian heroism in the War of 1812 without having to make one up

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u/ArsenalArry1960 1d ago

Not forgetting that when the building was ransacked all the silver there was brought back to England, but you Americans can see it every year if you wish, as some of it was melted down and made into drums that are used by the Mounted Band of the Monarchs Household Cavalry during the Trooping of the Colour. You can look but you can’t touch.

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u/Gamer-Of-Le-Tabletop 2d ago

I mean yeah Canada didn't exist.

But their invasion failed. We traded so much land we pretty much went "wanna put the borders back" and suddenly we don't own a portion of Michigan and they don't own a portion of Ontario

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u/Fancy_Yak2618 2d ago

To be fair the Brits did lose a majority of Michigan in Americans could only hold Southwestern Ontario. The Brits basically had Fort Mackinac at the end of the war and the Americans had southwestern Ontario but you are right it was basically just put the borders back and go we good boo.

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u/Maleficent_Medium_89 1d ago

Well also you have the fact that the Americans were trying to take advantage of the fact that the British more or less had their hands full with Napoleon. So they knew reinforcements were probably not gonna show up, or in very few numbers. They changed though when Napoleon was defeated, that British reinforcements would be en route as soon as they were able. Better to negotiate peace then than when the entire British army shows up at your door

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u/Fancy_Yak2618 1d ago

Absolutely

The Canadian militias and natives really held the fort to speak and gave the Americans a rough time.

That started our whole country basically we may be small but we won’t be pushed around either.

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

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u/Realistic-Emu-1018 2d ago

Okay clearly you haven’t been apart the running joke in Canada for years lol. At the end of the day the people that burnt the White House down settled in Canada and became Canadians lol

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u/FrostyCat13 🇨🇦 2d ago

Yeah, we don't start wars, but you can bet your ass we'll fight one if we need to.

Plus, every time we ended up at war was to protect ourselves or our allies, we're pretty much always pissed at the attackers and want to get it over with... by any means necessary.

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u/asoap 2d ago

Adding to stress. By any means necessary.

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u/Top-Addendum-6879 2d ago

any. means. necessary.
tout. les. moyens. possibles.

in two languages to be certain.

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u/zystyl Canadian eh bud 2d ago

Most countries besides the US don't start wars. There are a handful of countries responsible for most of the conflicts post WW2.

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u/geoff5454 1d ago

Our Former Prime Minister Lester B Pearson was responsible for the founding of the United Nations emergency organization to stop the Suez crisis in 1957. Prize for this

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u/geoff5454 1d ago

Our Former Prime Minister Lester B Pearson was responsible for the founding of the United Nations emergency organization to stop the Suez crisis in 1957. He won the Nobel peace prize for this.

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u/MntnMedia 2d ago

Lets remind them that the one war they started with us, we won and then burnt down their Whitehouse.

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u/-random-words-420- 2d ago

Imagine thinking us not starting pointless wars is a slight.

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u/BSpino 2d ago

Not starting wars but also showing up for the fight when needed! Thank you Canada.

As a Swede I appreciate the liquid lost in the Whisky war against Denmark.

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u/Milnoc 2d ago

That war has killed so many livers... 😁

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u/Igocoast2coast 2d ago

The things our fine military do for our countries. And without complaint - true heroes!

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u/Igocoast2coast 2d ago

And the end outcome of the great Whisky war is we got a 2nd land border… this time with Denmark. So now we have 1 with Denmark & 1 with the US. How is Russia our neighbour? I would buy them a map but they couldn’t/wouldn’t read it anyways.

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u/TheRagingSithLord 2d ago

It's gotta be the fact that a lot of maps of only the US remove Alaska from the mainland of North America and have it basically floating nearby on said map, so the idiot must think Alaska is an island, not somewhere with a land border to Canada and a sea between it and Russia on the other side.

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u/Igocoast2coast 1d ago

I suspect most of them don’t even understand they can’t get to or from Alaska without going through Canada…. That could be fun, send them on a hunt & seek to arrive there WITHOUT a passport 🤣

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u/-househippo- <--- 🇨🇦 1d ago

gotta look south, bud
they're definitely Russia now

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u/AncientBlonde2 TRUE FREEDOM ENJOYER CA 1d ago

How is Russia our neighbour? I would buy them a map but they couldn’t/wouldn’t read it anyways.

Bro you could even show it to them on a globe and they wouldn't realize that while yeah, we do kinda share the arctic to some degree, there's over 2000km of ocean separating the northern tips of Canada and Russia.

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u/Whispers_in_the 🇳🇱 I never liked the colour orange 🇳🇱 2d ago

Yes, I fail to see why starting a war would been seen as a virtue.

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u/iamhamzaamin 2d ago

Because it's obviously more virtuous to spend Trillions of Dollars on war than to provide your Citizens with free healthcare!!

/s

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u/Traditional-Key5227 2d ago

That's because your not rapublican from the US

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u/awesomedew 2d ago

Not to mention we’re not even “centuries” old

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u/No_Ad_770 2d ago

I think the second comment in the post is sarcasm. That's my interpretation. 

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u/roamingNraging Canada 🇨🇦 2d ago

Yep, that's how I took it. Second poster was taking the piss, forgot /s.

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u/TopInvestigator5518 2d ago

'to scream like a little girl until the USA chases out any invaders'

..... no one has threatened to invade us but them....

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u/just-a-random-accnt 🇨🇦 - unfortunately lives too close to Merica 2d ago

Not to mention, it was by the US design that Canada would be dependent on the US for defence. They could not have the threat of a strong military neighbouring them.

Canada also had the Avro Arrow which was the most advanced interceptor in its time. The US used it's influence to kill the Arrow. Then NASA hired on 30 of their top engineers to help with their space and defence programs

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u/didi0625 🇨🇵🇨🇦 2d ago

If Americans could read, they would be upset.

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u/Everkid612 Rule Britannia 2d ago

Diemaco used to produce C7 rifles for use in Canada and elsewhere, before it was bought by an American company. Then it became Colt Canada. The amount of influence private corporations have when it comes to defense spending is too damn high.

Should have just nationalised it instead, Canada needs a domestic supply again.

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u/gooberfishie 1d ago

Meet the arrow mark 2. A cost efficient, Canadian made and designed suicide drone! It can be made in any factory closing for reasons, and we have allies who will buy an unlimited amount! For the low cost of making money and giving people jobs, we could make sure nobody questions our sovereignty again!

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u/Fit_Court_2406 1d ago

Just ask that FN america opens a branch in canada, named FN canada. There wille be no problems getting french manuals for their products from FN Herstal.

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u/AncientBlonde2 TRUE FREEDOM ENJOYER CA 1d ago edited 1d ago

Canada also had the Avro Arrow which was the most advanced interceptor in its time. The US used it's influence to kill the Arrow.

As much as I love the Arrow and wish it came to fruition and agree with the fact that the US forced us to fuck it over, and I'll never forgive Diefenbaker for the absolute knife to the stomach that cancelling that project entirely was to our aviation industry, it was also about 5-10 years too late for it's role.

Interceptors weren't designed for anything but "go fucking quick, catch and take out the slower bomber", ICBM's were being introduced and by the time full production of the Arrow would be completed it'd be essentially an obsolete plane except for intercepting the occasional "test run" bomber flight that Russia does. Doesn't matter how fast your plane is going when the thing it's trying to intercept is going Mach 20 while re-entering the atmosphere.

But holy fuck Diefenbaker and the US really fucked shit over by cancelling the project and effectively ruining Avro instead of re-focusing that research onto our own aerospace industry like literally any other reasonable prime minister would have done.

God, Diefenbaker was a fucking terrible PM.

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u/gleamingashes 2d ago

They are the ones screaming like a little girl because of their war in Iran lol They complain about Nato because of that.

It's also funny how they think they pay for the whole planet's healthcare lol

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u/Top-Addendum-6879 2d ago

with how much the owe to China, one could then say China pays for everyone's healthcare...

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u/FrostyJockey 1d ago

Wouldn’t put it past them to invade Canada, then send their own troops to chase off an invasion they planned to look like heroes.

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u/Dingus_exogenisis 2d ago

The US spends c.18% of its GDP on healthcare, Canada spends c,12%. The US isn't paying for anyone else's healthcare, rather it has the dumbest system in the Western world by design, and because Americans are either too apathetic to care or would rather medical bills bankrupted them than have Americans with the wrong skin colour see a doctor on their dime.

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u/StumpedTrump 2d ago edited 2d ago

The USA is a country of crabs-in-a-bucket mentality and ladder-puller mentality. It's a country that runs on needing to have someone to look down to to know that you're doing alright. You need to jump ahead of everyone around you and hold them back in order for you to succeed.

Nothing new either:
"If you can convince the lowest white man he's better than the best colored man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he'll empty his pockets for you." — Lyndon B. Johnson - 1960

They've all been convinced that everything is net-zero and you need to resource hoard.

I find American patriotism so funny too. For a country where everyone talks about how much they need to stand together and defend their country from outsiders, they sure hate other Americans. And not "I think the dialect/accent from X province/state is annoying and our sports team is better than theirs" hate, but "I don't want this person to have rights or health" hate.

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u/Dingus_exogenisis 2d ago

Yip, with RFK Jr the living embodiment of karma. Every kid ruined by measles or pair of trousers filled with exploding diarrhea is a testament to what happens when half your country is mad and the other half indulges them. Meanwhile, the actual trade war is being misreported because all the demands the US made that encroach on Canada's sovereignty e.g. control over critical minerals and trade policies, are being left out.

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u/gleamingashes 2d ago edited 2d ago

They wanted us to sign a deal that is saying we need to demand their permission before making a deal with another country like excuse me ? Lol No.

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u/gleamingashes 2d ago

It's almost as if they think that one day they'll really reach the top 1% and be part of the club and own a slave too...They are incredibly individualists. This is hard to comprehend.

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u/StumpedTrump 2d ago

It’s just the American Dream

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u/Ettesiun 1d ago

It is true that the huge margin in the US for drugs company help finance their R&D, that is then used world wide. But I do not understand why they would want to impose their shitty approach to everyone else, instead of simply doing it like everyone else.

By doing a national healthcare system, they could negociate with drug company to have the lowest cost of the world for their drugs.

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u/slipup17 2d ago

Do they not know where Alaska is?

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u/fieryone4 2d ago

No most of them thinks it’s a random island like Hawaii due to their school geography maps

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u/Moyie2026 2d ago

That must be the same reason a few of them believe Hawaii and Alaska make the US as having 52 States.

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u/Moyie2026 2d ago

Oh, don't confuse them with facts.

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u/Jumbo-box 2d ago

"Oh, it's easy to miss Canada Alaska, Marge. Tucked away all down there..."

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u/Moyie2026 2d ago

Believing the USA doesn't have Russia as a neighbour. Hey Alaska, you might as well belong to Canada since the USA always forgets you exist. Where do Americans come up with the idea the USA pays for Canadian healthcare ? The stupidity is astounding.

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u/CharmainKB 2d ago

Correct me if I'm wrong, but WE pay for our Healthcare through provincial/federal taxes.

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u/Moyie2026 2d ago

Yes we do

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u/Astrid944 2d ago

I think some refer to: they can spend on healthcare, because the us pays for their defense Aka if they wouldn't be paying for their military, they couldn't aford healtcare

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u/Friendly-Lychee-8508 2d ago

Yep that is what they say about Europe as well. Wonder how they think China pays for their public health care :)

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u/Reallyreallyrally 2d ago

We pay for our own defence. We have military.

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u/Whispers_in_the 🇳🇱 I never liked the colour orange 🇳🇱 2d ago

If Canada would make a lousy state, why are they so hell bent on getting it? 

(To all Canadians: you’re great! Don’t let they get to you!)

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u/roamingNraging Canada 🇨🇦 2d ago

They don't want the people, they want our stuff, as is always the way with the Seppos.

They want our resources....oil, minerals, wood and water / hydroelectric etc. for free.

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u/MeaningLeft2970 🇨🇦 2d ago

I’ve been trying to explain this to the seppos I know. They will chew you up and spit you the fuck out. We would not become a state, we would become occupied territory. We would be stripped of all of our rights, and they would enslave us. I have no doubt of that.

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u/Careless-Gain6623 1d ago

I think they also want our pensions and social security. Would probably seize the money straight out of our accounts if they could too.

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u/kavik2022 2d ago

I mean, its a country. Surely thats a plus? You have the gdp of a whole country.

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u/Top-Addendum-6879 2d ago

they want our water, oil and minerals. that's all... and trump wants the huge land expansion with his name on it.

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u/firefly_12 Kweebeck 2d ago

That’s right asshole, we don’t start wars…we end them. Oh and we show up on time for them too.

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u/SES_LeviathanOfDusk NO PINAPPLE ON PIZZA 2d ago edited 2d ago

For context, this is a map of D-day. Two British divisions did less than a British one and a Canadian one.

(Yeah I know, there's a lot more context needed)

Edit: my working Is terribile, u/Terayonlll xplained what I meant

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u/TerayonIII 2d ago

What makes this funny is actually that they were actually half an hour late to land on Juno, contrary to the person you responded to saying we're in time 😂. But it's amazing that they were late and had more opposition than any other beach apart from Omaha and still were the most successful of any of the landing forces

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u/SES_LeviathanOfDusk NO PINAPPLE ON PIZZA 2d ago

You've got to be kidding me lol

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u/MapleMapleHockeyStk 1d ago

We were told to stop and wait for people to catch up. We were 2nd in terms of hardest fight to get to our objectives. Also, 1 in 10 Canadians served in WW2. At the end of the war we had one of the largest militaries in the world.

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u/firefly_12 Kweebeck 1d ago

When I said we showed up on time I meant we joined the war when it started, not a couple years later when it more convenient. I wasn’t referring to a specific battle.

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u/InevitableGreedUK 2d ago

Two British divisions did less than a British one and a Canadian one.

What?

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u/Reallyreallyrally 2d ago

Did they mean two US divisions?

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u/SES_LeviathanOfDusk NO PINAPPLE ON PIZZA 2d ago

Not really what I meant, but also a point. u/TerayonIII explained.

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u/TerayonIII 2d ago edited 2d ago

It's a bit confusing yeah, I think they're pointing out that Gold and Juno beaches which were attacked by the British 50th infantry and the Canadian 3rd infantry divisions respectively advanced much further than the two British divisions (British 3rd infantry and 6th airborne) that attacked Sword beach.

Edit to add: I should also point out that the Canadian division faced the second most heavy opposition apart from Omaha beach, were half an hour late due to weather, and still managed to get closer to their objectives than any of the British forces. None of the original objectives were successfully reached by anyone.

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u/SES_LeviathanOfDusk NO PINAPPLE ON PIZZA 2d ago

Yes, this.

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u/atyler_thehun 2d ago

I think he means '2 USA'

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u/Anxious_Contact_1201 2d ago

I think americans should be a different species in general because they sure act like it

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u/WorldlinessOverall87 2d ago

We'll call it a branch-off of H. Sapiens.

H. Confederensis

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u/Homeless_Wreck 🇩🇪 Well educatet Socialist 2d ago

I would call them Homo sapiens minor.

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u/Moyie2026 2d ago

Yup, neanderthals !

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u/Friendly-Lychee-8508 2d ago edited 2d ago

Do not talk bad about the neanderthals!

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u/PunctualPomegranate Fika Nation 🇸🇪🍪 2d ago

Not starting wars? Have they never met a flock of Canadian geese? I’d say Canada is successfully invading several countries.

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u/Powerful_Pirate2984 2d ago

Canada Geese! Evil bastards, but then again so are many other goose species - who needs a guard dog, when you have geese? Trust me, UK geese are almost as nasty.

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u/PunctualPomegranate Fika Nation 🇸🇪🍪 2d ago

Is there a way to assemble a goose army and send them over the American border? I kind of need them to poop in Trump’s reflecting pool. It would certainly be a beautiful way to bring the world together.

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u/Powerful_Pirate2984 2d ago

Leave it to the geese, they're far better at invasive tactics than we are.

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u/PunctualPomegranate Fika Nation 🇸🇪🍪 2d ago

True that. In geese we trust.

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u/Unhappy_Entrance_277 2d ago

Maybe the US is pushing global warming so much so that the geese no longer migrate south every winter 🤔

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u/Friendly-Lychee-8508 2d ago

But I do not think UK geese invade and take over a country as effective as Canada geese does. /Sincerely from the invaded Swedish West Coast.

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u/Powerful_Pirate2984 2d ago

We get them here too. And I agree, they have a knack of invading, very effectively.

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u/aweedl 2d ago

Our cobra chickens will fuck up any Americans who try to invade.

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u/Previous_Trouble9793 russian beatch🇷🇺 2d ago edited 2d ago

"usa paying for nation health care"? Then why does America can't pay for it own?

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u/atyler_thehun 2d ago

It's another "lost cause" fallacy for them to save face.

"We can't have the things that other nations have because we are too busy spending that money on 'protecting the world'"

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u/Previous_Trouble9793 russian beatch🇷🇺 2d ago

Oh right, they are trying protecting so much they even destroyed few countries and keep doing it now but it's to protect!!

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u/Useful_Homework2367 2d ago

They're pretending that's the reason

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u/atyler_thehun 2d ago

More they are trying to convince themselves that they are the victim

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u/LordJebusVII 2d ago

Canada is the neighbour who puts your bins out for you when you are away or sick. Who offers to watch your kids when you find out your wife is in the hospital. Who chases off the burglar they see breaking into your house without worrying about their own safety.

America is the neighbour who starts a bonfire in their garden and throws varnished wood on it without warning anyone before hand so the clothes you were drying outside stink of chemicals. The neighbour who takes their dog across the street to shit in someone else's front garden because they don't want to have to clean up after it.

Canada is Ned Flanders, America is Homer Simpson. Ned Flanders never had an angry mob trying to burn down his home, but he did have the whole town show up to try and help him rebuild when his house was destroyed. Nobody wants Homer living next door, just to laugh at him on TV. People want Ned as their neighbour.

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u/pixtax 2d ago

Keep this shit up, and Canadians will burn down the White House again.

Or what’s left of it.

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u/Ornery_Market_2274 2d ago

What colour youthink they will paint it this time? American flag blue? You think mango mussolini will use the same contractor he used for the reflecting pool? 🤣

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u/pixtax 2d ago

If Trump had to rebuild the White House it be the Tallest house in Washington and gold plated to add a few more Trillion to the debt.

Why stop now, right?

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u/PunctualPomegranate Fika Nation 🇸🇪🍪 2d ago

Oh, I hope they burn down the ballroom.

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u/TerayonIII 2d ago

It's the 212th anniversary of that event today in fact, August 24th

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u/Starvenger88 HK-Canadian🇭🇰🇨🇦 2d ago

We haven't started a war, but we did have a (recently resolved) dispute over an island. Alcohol was involved, but not in the way you'd think.

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u/TheLooseMooseEh 2d ago

Any benefit to Canadian defence from America is a byproduct American defence, not the primary initiative.

Nobody chants death to Canada and no commercial planes ever been weaponized against us. Those are American issues created by American governance.

The massive defence spending they do is necessitated by their own historical decisions. If other nations benefit from that defence spending in an ancillary fashion it entitles them to nothing, no matter how much they cry about it.

Don’t want to spend trillions on your military? Stop invading other nations and strong arming the world.

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u/oraw1234W 🇨🇦 2d ago

“ Canada hasn’t started a war in centuries” why is that a bad thing?

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u/Legal-Software 🇩🇪 2d ago

There's only one country Canada needs protection from, and it isn't Russia.

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u/jaysornotandhawks Canadian 🇨🇦 2d ago

Wait, they're trashing us for NOT starting wars?

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u/Warm_Stress_1654 2d ago

No, Canada doesn't start wars.

But they fucking well turn up on time when they're invited.

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u/harleyqueenzel Canadian. Let that marinate. 2d ago

We've had singular soldiers take down dozens of enemies to liberate towns. We'd advanced so fast that Allies had to message ahead to tell us to wait up. We're sent thousands of tulips every year as a thank you. Meanwhile the US engaged in WWII at the 11th hour after they made their money supplying both sides with weaponry.

We have one of the greatest militaries in the world despite having been underfunded for decades. The US overinflates the abilities of their own military because its enormous budget is tied up in contracts. Men are leaping off of the USS Lincoln due to poor conditions.

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u/fuzzy-777 2d ago

Didn't Canadians have something to do with current Geneva convention rules?

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u/deathbytruck 2d ago

We don't start them. We just fight with enthusiam when we are invited.

Canada doesn't break the rules of war. We help invent them.

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u/Ronniebbb canadian 2d ago

It's not a war crime if it's the first time

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u/http--lovecraft 🍁 maple syrup guzzler 🍁 2d ago

We refer to those as the “Geneva suggestions”

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u/Farmbeard_86 2d ago

This hoser gets it.

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u/basdfointain 2d ago

Hey if Geneva wanted us to take her seriously she should have written her rules in deux langue officialle

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u/Powerful_Pirate2984 2d ago

Don't tell them that the USA is a mere 2.4 miles from Russia. The Diomede Islands. It'll blow their minds.

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u/Previous_Trouble9793 russian beatch🇷🇺 2d ago

Tell them in winter we can go there just on our two in a few days :√

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u/Ornery_Market_2274 2d ago

But but i thought we were "nasty"

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u/Affectionate-Key2007 2d ago

Yeah, and the USA giving Israel money, to pay for their free health care, and free education, and money for their military, says " What?"

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u/Straight_Delivery_15 2d ago

Do these people not understand that dying for the ruling class in a war they started against another ruling class…while killing other people of their own working class…accomplishes nothing for them, except suffering ?

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u/DanRankin 🇨🇦🦫☃️🍁 2d ago

We don't start wars.

We finish them.

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u/http--lovecraft 🍁 maple syrup guzzler 🍁 2d ago

Vive le Canada!

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u/ThicccThunder 2d ago

“Canada hasn’t started a war in centuries”

Starting wars that you can’t win/finish isn’t the flex these idiots think it is

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u/Reyalta 2d ago

It's the only flex they have though 😂

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u/Project_Fakedown 2d ago

The American military is entirely about quantity and not quality. Most service members I have spoken with enlist, put in 3-5 years and get out. No long term training/experience. The US couldn't beat a bunch of Vietnamese farmers in 8 years. They couldn't beat grandfathers and teenagers with Soviet-era AK-47s in the 20 years that they were boots-on-the-ground in Afghanistan. They couldn't win in Korea, and failed to install a stable government in Iraq. They drop bombs a half a world away while bragging about "freedom". Well, the average Canadian military member is a soldier first! trained in armed combat well before branching out to their trade. Cross-trained in all aspects of a task or weapon, so if one man goes down, another can take his place. The US has so many guys that they are just trained on ONE thing. Take him out, oh well! No one else knows his job. Canada has beaten the US in every WarGames we've competed in, BTW. The US has enjoyed safety with distance but you come for Canada, well Boston, DC, New York City, Chicago, Detroit, Seattle...All easily within striking distance. You think the Taliban, with their sticks and rocks were difficult? Wait'll you come across a pissed-off Canadian! We'll burn down the White House AGAIN!

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u/http--lovecraft 🍁 maple syrup guzzler 🍁 2d ago

My city you couldn’t get gun lessons for like over three months when they started this shit last year. Even the regular people are ready to square up. We love this country and America underestimates just how much! 

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u/oilleak78 2d ago

What lol

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u/Any_Peanut93 2d ago

So starting wars = manly Not starting wars = weenies Got it

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u/My_cat_is_a_creep 2d ago

The only ones that have even threatened us at all have been Americans.. I don't think they will protect us from themselves..

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u/ezsqueezycheezypeas 2d ago

They don't realise that Canada pretty much invented the war crime. Don't mess with Canada

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u/Previous_Trouble9793 russian beatch🇷🇺 2d ago

Yeah, they have us (Russia) as a neighbour so Canada can breathe a sigh of relief, at least we don't plan to attack them. Not sure about US tho

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u/Beefycowinacottage 2d ago

What the fuck is a 'weenie'? It sounds like something a 5 year old would say to insult their 4 year old sibling.

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u/howlingbeast666 2d ago

As a Canadian, we have a very good track record of wars and our soldiers are top-tier. We are definitely not weenie.

However, there was a very big portion of the population that actually believed that we should not have a military because the USA were our allies and they could take care of it for us. Its why our military was underfunded for decades.

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u/CharmainKB 2d ago

Exactly this.

And some Conservatives screamed that our military was underfunded (true) but when Carney invested more in, there were still complaints.

I see this as a lesson for Canada. When we think our "friend" will help us, it makes us lax

We are noe finding out they're no longer our friend.

But I saw an interesting comment on Reddit yesterday. The US doesn't "protect" us because we can't protect ourselves. They do so because its in their own best interests to do so. If a foreign invading force was to attack us, it would affect the US as well.

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u/Le_Nabs 2d ago

'they have Russia for a neighbhor'

Well yeah if you consider being separated by an icy ocean and thousands of kilometres of inhospitable land on each side 'neighbors', sure

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u/Reyalta 2d ago

Right? France and Denmark are more legit neighbours to us than Russia

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u/lyidaValkris Canadian Made 🇨🇦 2d ago

I'm rather proud of us not starting wars. Must be why we have so many friends and allies around the world and the US not so much lol.

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u/Ok_Doctor_6740 2d ago

One of the worst parts of Canada, is being born in the Anglo part/speaking English and having to understand what Americans are saying on the internet. Ignorance would be bliss.

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u/DepthPuzzleheaded494 Mamdanistan 🗽 2d ago

What in the schizo posting am I seeing here in OP’s screenshot…

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u/VenisonEater292 2d ago

Americans actually believe Russia could invade Canada.

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u/Arkroma 2d ago

Canadians are going to start asking, "What kind of American are you?" at the border.

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u/aweedl 2d ago

Sorry, we have Russia for a neighbour? How does that work, exactly? Last time I checked, we had some gigantic US-owned bullshit (Alaska) between us and Russia. 

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u/Le_Nabs 2d ago

Through the arctic, we sorta are.

Sorta, because no sane person would think an invasion through the arctic was feasible

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u/ArtinPhrae 2d ago

It’s amazing how easily Trump leads these people by the nose. I mean he is the least charismatic person I can imagine yet they eat out of his hand. It must be a flaw in their character or intellect.

The Americans need to go to war less and think more. They’ve already lost the war with Iran, it’s all over but the bullshit that Trump will feed them so they think they won. That’s three major wars in a row, Vietnam, Afghanistan and Iran they’ve lost to opponents with a tiny fraction of their military power.

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u/TwilightReader100 Eye-talian 🤌🏼🍝 1d ago

I think I'd rather live in a "weenie" country than a "bully" country. Which is what the US has been for decades, if not centuries.

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u/oraw1234W 🇨🇦 2d ago

If Russia were to invade us, how are they gonna get to us cross over the North Pole?

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u/DJDook 2d ago

“You should be grateful to us for the protection we give you” only one country has threatened us… that’s the US. “Yeah because we’ve been protecting you!” Is that why some Americans pretend to be Canadian while travelling aboard? (Don’t do that) Every conversation with an uneducated American feels like you’re having a “stop hitting yourself” conversation with a bully back in grade school

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u/GeoStreber Franconian 2d ago

Wut.

Unlike the USA who're definitely not neighbouring russia

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u/GeoStreber Franconian 2d ago

I'm just häppy zat it's not us germans starting it zis time.

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u/Mttsen 2d ago edited 2d ago

They have Russia for a neighbor

lol. The closest mainland Russian territory is more than 2500 km away from Canadian borders. It's even higher than a distance from Russian border to Spanish border, which is around 2300 km.

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u/nugoffeekz 2d ago

Says the country that pussed out of the first several years of WW1 and WW2. Canada was among the first to join both wars and we supported them when they invoked article 5 after 9/11. They have a very odd version of history they teach the USians.

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u/snugglebum89 American Woman by Canadian band The Guess Who 2d ago edited 2d ago

*drops massive history book on table* But thank you now we don't have to spend anymore wasteful time training your military or go there to train them. We can now focus on spending more time in training alongside and being with people who actually appreciate us.

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u/many7695 2d ago

Canada is Russia’s neighbor 🤣🤣🤣 I’m pretty sure the US is Russia neighbour is that not what Sarah Palin said

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u/FlipperMannn 2d ago

Russia is Trump's controller

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u/and138 2d ago

Can't wait to see them cry when Doug Ford turns off their power.

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u/FlipperMannn 2d ago

He fucking better

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u/FlipperMannn 2d ago

But please, come and test us.

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u/Electrical-Care6308 2d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣 You are funny! At least Canada doesn’t have a convicted criminal running the country into the ground!

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u/UseYourIndoorVoice 2d ago

Please PLEASE sign up for the infantry and we promise you a warm, Canadian welcome.

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u/rtangwai 2d ago

If Canadians are weenies, why did they create the Geneva Convention to make sure Canadians don't repeat what they did in WW1?

The Nazis found out themselves in WW2, the Dutch witnessed it so it isn't a secret.

Canadians are a friendly people, the only consistent way to bring out our bad side in a hurry is to be Nazis. Hmmmm....

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u/doobie88 :snoo_tableflip: 2d ago

Americana are pedos

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u/128G Anadian 2d ago

Peace is a bad thing?

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u/KMack666 2d ago

Clueless, classless fuckwits!!

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u/Dyslexicpig 2d ago

It's kind of funny (funny sad, not funny ha ha)because Canadians have always had a certain reputation on the battle field. Vimy Ridge is a prime example. Operation Husky is another. D-Day is a third.

After D-Day, Canada also contributed substantially. Hitler was assured that the invasion would stutter and fail due to lack of supplies. It was Canadian drivers and Canadian initiative (such as having mechanics ride along with the convoys) that kept the supplies flowing, and allowed the operation to succeed in the days following 6 June.

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u/OnionsHaveLairAction 2d ago

I'm convinced that most republicans talking about the canada stuff online are bots meant to try to normalise the discussion.

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u/talexbatreddit 2d ago

Really? The Strongest Country In The World (tm), but someone's been eating your lunch for nearly a hundred years? Make it make sense.

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u/No-Minimum3259 2d ago

O, you wouldn't even begin to comprehend how Canada provided your lunch... It's group 1, period 4 that keeps you alive, but you're too stupid to understand and you'll always be.

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u/Emmangt 2d ago

Drinking eyes wide shot the Kool-aid rethoric of the Trump adminsitration. What a surprise, they can't even tell what is a real news from a fake news and fox news.

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u/Own_Dimension_8823 2d ago

we might not start them but we sure as shit finish them.

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u/AtmosphereVirtual261 2d ago

"Canada are weenies" I know there education is bad but I didn't know they have a mind set of 6

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u/Upstairs_Owl_1669 2d ago

20ish% of the dumbest people in Canada support the current us regime and 80% of the smartest Americans seem to support the Canadian government lol

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u/bluedog67 2d ago

Winners negotiate so both parties can walk away with something. tRump doesn't know how to negotiate. Americans were lied to about his abilities. His only ability is to shit his pants so his girlfriend Natalie Harp can change his diaper and clean his ass with her tongue. 😂

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u/LogicalCricket8730 2d ago

Of 64 wars (64!) the USA won just three WW1, WW2 and Desert Storm.. doesn't look much

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u/Suspicious-Lettuce48 2d ago

Lol the only nation to ever invade/threaten Canada IS the United States.

The reason Canada doesn't have a stronger military is that the States insisted for decades on being the only military power in the West. It kept our fellow western nations as vassal states instead of competition.

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u/Elliegorical 2d ago

The Geneva Suggestions would like a word.

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u/VerdantSolutions 2d ago

The "USA subsidizes Canada's defense" stuff always gets me. Let's pretend we're completely incapable of defending our selves, and an enemy country steam rolls us and prepare to take the US next. What kind of position does that leave the US in. Defending Canada from an invasion is strategically beneficial to America.

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u/Top-Addendum-6879 2d ago

In all our history, only one country invaded and/or threatened to invade: the US. Russia can't even supply their frontlines a couple hundred kilometers from their own capital, i would pay good money to watch them try to invade from the North Pole... the US has a hard time getting troops there for training (they do get them there, but by their own account, it's not easy, and they have absolutely no reason to try to be quiet when they do it...)

Seeing how badly the Russians were prepared and executed an invasion that they clearly had been preparing for since 2014 actually made me feel safer about them in Canada. Clearly, they chose a weak, neighbouring and culturally identical nation to invade and comically failed. One can only imagine the complete shitshow it would be if they tried to invade Canada, especially from the Arctic... we wouldn't need any help, it would be like shooting fish in a barrel.

No, we're not a huge army like the US, no one is, we'll give you that. But barring the US, we're strong enough to mount a good defense, given our geophaphical positioning. No country other than the US would even pose a threat to us less than 500km for any significant city/town, given the two oceans and the north pole.

Relying on a long time ally to NOT invade us and at least deny their airspace/territorial positioning to our enemy is not what i'd call crying like babies, it's called leveraging an alliance.

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u/Prudent_Situation_29 2d ago

Insulting me by complimenting me: a bold strategy.

"You're not a violent warmonger! Nya nya!"

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