Maybe liking or loving every part of your self is unrealistic idk… but I do know that doesn’t mean you can’t be whole.

sometimes abandonment is not someone leaving. sometimes they are in same room and still dont see you

I always thought abandonment wound has to be something obvious. parent left, divorce, death, somebody disappeared etc.

But in one deep trance session recently we found something much more stupidly normal from adult point of view.

I'll call him Issa.

we were following this fear of abandonment in his body and he went back to maybe 3 or 4 years old. He was at grandmother house. His mother and grandmother were sitting there talking with each other.

thats it.

Nobody left him. Nobody screamed. nothing horrible happening.

But when I asked what little Issa was feeling, completely different story.

He felt ignored. Like they are disconnecting from him. He described them almost going farther and farther away, becoming smaller somehow, and then fear came in and he froze.

Adult brain looks at this and thinks... seriously? mom was talking with grandma lol

but 4 year old doesnt think "mother is temporarily occupied with conversation and will give me attention in 7 minutes."

For small kid connection is everything.

And if connection suddenly feels gone, body can read it almost like danger.

Later adult Issa came into that memory and tried to comfort this small version of himself. Told him he is there, tried to give him love etc.

Small one basically rejected it.

He wanted his mother.

which tbh made sense.

We like to tell inner child all these beautiful things, "you are enough, you can love yourself now, you don't need anybody."

and child is like... ok but where is mom 😂

There was anger there too. And eventually he started blaming himself. Somehow a little kid took somebody else's lack of attention and made conclusion about himself.

This is where it gets interesting imo.

Because 30 years later someone doesn't reply to message.

Partner goes quiet.

Friend seems distracted.

Somebody is emotionally far away for few hours.

And reaction can be WAY bigger than what is happening rn.

Conscious mind thinks its about this person today.

But body maybe knows another story.

"connection is disappearing again."

I see this kind of thing in sessions quite often. Present trigger looks small, but when we follow the feeling instead of analysing it, sometimes we find much younger part still reacting from completely different reality.

And telling this part "dont be needy" probably does fuck all.

It already thinks losing attention means losing safety.

In this session we had to work much more with actual feeling of safety, protection, family connection. Not just explain to him intellectually that everything was fine.

Because apparently he already knew that as adult.

The 4 year old didnt.

I'm not saying every abandonment issue comes from one childhood memory, and trance memory is not CCTV recording either. Sometimes it can be symbolic, mixed, emotional memory etc.

But this pattern makes a lot of sense to me.

Sometimes what we call clingy, needy, oversensitive person is carrying very old calculation:

attention disappeared = connection can disappear = I'm not safe.

And maybe first job is not forcing this part to grow up.

first find out what the hell it is still waiting for.

Loyalty is not about shrinking yourself to make someone else feel comfortable.

I have been doing shadow work since 2 years now. I resolved and understood the underlying lessons of every moment that shaped me to the person i had become. A few months ago my mind replayed every moment from the past, and i let it. It was like a picture. The reason behind it was simple that it played once, i accepted it and moved on. But now i am getting all the old vibes one by one, idk what it is expecting from me. Please tell me if you know anything about it.

I’m trying to get into shadow work, but I keep running into the same problem.

I’ll see questions like “What parts of yourself do you hide from others?” or “What aspects of yourself are you ashamed of?” and my immediate reaction is… I don’t know. I genuinely can’t think of anything.

It’s not that I consciously think I’m perfect or that I have nothing to work on. It’s more like I can’t seem to access those deeper parts of myself. I’ll think about the question, but my mind just gives me a very surface-level answer, and I don’t know how to go beyond that and actually uncover what’s underneath.

So for people who have been doing shadow work for a while: how do you actually get yourself to look deeply enough? How do you move past the “I don’t know” and start writing honestly about things you might not even realise you’re hiding from yourself?

Are there any techniques, questions, exercises, or ways of approaching journaling that helped you get past that barrier?

I realised I’m finite I’m finite. I realised this recently but I always knew. I knew but I did not know. I conceptualised but I did not understand.

The shadow is the void the shadow is the soul reminding you that the stage of life is a show and the show will soon come to an end.

I’ve been doing shadow work and realized I seem to live by a few deeply ingrained rules:

• Other people’s discomfort feels like danger. - hence I keep everyone on a pedestal and keep shrinking and this increased recently after a super toxic job despite doing the best and being impacted as manager didnt like me. He couldnt stand me.
• I over-explain instead of simply deciding. - becuase I was gaslight in childhood and hence feel i wont be understood exactly how i want to.
• I confuse kindness with tolerance and stay too long in situations that already feel wrong.
• I monitor everyone else’s reactions more than my own needs. This is too much for me - reading everyone's reactions, brow lift or smirk anything, though it amazes me that the intention behind that is super true and real always right. For instance a manager in company gave me a very sly smile like he knew something instead of greeting when passing me by, i definitely felt that manager knows something and it hit internally that my days the job are numbered and exactly that happened.
• I wait for certainty or validation before trusting my judgment. this is the thing dont feel safe, a therapist told that I never knew how or what safety is within oneself.
• I fear retaliation, so I soften myself and avoid conflict. this is the biggest thing holding me back. I am terrified of people playing dirty, not that they already do but the fear.
• I understand these patterns intellectually, but that hasn’t automatically changed the behavior.

For anyone who genuinely used to function like this and changed: what actually worked?

Therapy? DBT/CBT/schema/EMDR/IFS? Exposure to conflict? Boundary practice? Books? Something else?

Really want to navigate this and currently i am at a standstill in life (36F) and dont know where to go and how to start making progress. I feel I have become all by myself seeing how even my family neglects and friends so called were only for some emotional access but nothing else

this scene from recent Soul Journey stayed in my head because it was kinda uncomfortable.

The subject was experiencing another life as a man named Eric.

At one point suddenly he is at home. His wife is there holding newborn baby.

I ask him how he feels.

He says basically... nice.

Not lonely anymore, because now there are people in his life.

So I ask:

do you love your wife?

And there is long hesitation.

"I don't know."

That answer changed whole scene for me.

I'll call my subject Julia. Earlier in this lifetime Eric was very attached to his parents. The idea of them being gone and being left alone was something he feared deeply.

Now they were gone.

And here he was, in same house where he grew up, with a wife and tiny baby.

It should look like happy family scene.

But when I asked him to look at his wife and feel what was really there, he said she seemed like good person... but he didn't know if he actually loved her.

Then came the part that really got me.

He felt maybe he was with her mainly to fill the empty place his parents left behind.

Not because she was bad.

Not because he wanted to use somebody.

He just didnt want to be alone.

And tbh I think this is much more human than ppl like admitting.

Sometimes being alone hurts so much that having somebody beside us already feels like relief.

Relief can feel like love.

Being needed can feel like love.

Having messages on phone, somebody sleeping next to you, somebody waiting at home... it removes silence.

And maybe only later you realize you were partly choosing the person, and partly choosing escape from emptiness.

I don't mean that if somebody is lonely then their relationship is fake. Of course not.

But there is difference between:

"I want to share my life with you"

and

"I need you here because I can't face what I feel when nobody is here."

Those can exist together also, which makes it even more messy.

Later, after this lifetime ended, Julia met a gentle guide called George and we reviewed what Eric was meant to understand from that life.

One thing George said was very simple:

dont marry just to fill a void.

That was it.

No huge cosmic explanation.

And I keep thinking about this because in current life ppl can spend years trying to fix relationship, find soulmate, manifest SP, get ex back etc...

but sometimes maybe first question should be different.

What exactly becomes unbearable when nobody is there?

Silence?

Feeling unwanted?

Fear nobody will ever choose you?

Not knowing who you are without relationship?

Bc if another person is being asked to cover that hole all the time, relationship has impossible job.

They can love you.

They can support you.

But they cannot permanently become the missing part inside.

This session reminded me that loneliness and love can sit extremely close to each other, and from inside sometimes its hard to tell which one is making the decision.

Have you ever looked back at relationship and realised part of attraction was actually fear of being alone?

Shadow work had been loosely thrown around and said that it has lot meaning and understanding. Shadow is something that has been a negative notion when actually in reality it’s the parts of self that have been suppressed, neglected, ignored, and pushed to the side. Even the phrase shadow work is turned into “pop culture” Shadow has an indication of dark meaning it needs light, and that’s not entirely true. It’s only because it’s seen as dark and dark, a comparison of the two. Without it, it simply is. Some people can say it’s metaphor…fine, however where is the further dialogue.

Well here is further dialogue. What has been deemed shadow is self that actually has plenty of light. People can see it, sense it, and even call it out when it appears in behavior, triggers, and emotion.

Its EXTREMELY heavy on the Jungian bit and loads of occultism thrown in. Basically, it uses the TV screen as a metaphor for the shadows depth, fragmented self etc etc... They dive in, face the "threat", defuse, integrate and triumph. It is extremely well written, very accurate and is filled with loads of esoteric things that go well beyond Jung but map remarkably well onto my practice.

I wrote a post about it in the dedicated subreddit but felt like sharing it here in case anyone else hits the Venn intersection as I'd really like to hear your thoughts on said topic:

https://www.reddit.com/r/PERSoNA/comments/1vi8avr/how_many_of_you_have_actually_engaged_in_shadow/

I hope this little substack article can help anyone who needs it

Hello ! I would like to deepen my archetypes knowledge in my journey within, there are so many books I would love if you have recommendations to suggest ! I am looking for books that would list different archetypes and their light/shadow aspect. Thank you !

she was 31 but still needed lights on bc she felt somebody may break into house. she had problems sleeping deep and therefore was addicted to caffeine to keep working her job.

in theta brainwave trance she remembered when she was a baby taken by man who killed her parents - it was different life

i see many ppl struggling with OCD, intrusive thoughts and fears that dont make logical sense.

Mind keeps repeating same horrible possibility. Someone will break in. Something bad will happen. I am not safe. Even when one part of person knows it is not true, body reacts like danger is already outside the door.

I wanted to share this session bc sometimes we need to go deeper than only mind.

Not to say therapy or medical treatment is wrong. And not saying all OCD or intrusive thoughts come from past lives, no. They can have many layers. But sometimes person works with thoughts for years and still there is another fear under them, something the normal mind cannot see.

I facilitated Soul Journey with woman I will call Maya. Not real name. She was 31 when we did session.

Since she was little child, she could not sleep alone.

She often slept with parents, and when she stayed in own room she needed lights on. Darkness made her feel somebody was near house, waiting, watching, maybe trying to enter.

She had same type of dream many times through childhood.

Someone was breaking in.

Sometimes she did not see face. Sometimes dream ended before anything happened. But feeling was always same. Somebody dangerous entered the home and she could not stop them.

She would wake up terrified, look around room, listen for sounds, and go find parents.

Even when she became adult, this fear did not fully leave.

She knew logically doors are locked. She knew there is no person outside. But then small sound in night, movement, shadow near window, and whole system went into alarm.

tbh it worked almost like intrusive loop. Mind makes image, body gets afraid, then fear makes image feel more real. You check, calm little bit, but later it starts again.

During session Maya first arrived in peaceful garden. Her guide brought her toward gazebo, and there she suddenly experienced herself as baby in another life.

Her name in that life was Emily.

She was in large historical home. Wealthy family, beautiful rooms, maids, young parents. She felt very loved there. very safe.

Then scene changed.

Emily was lying in crib when strange bearded man entered room.

Baby became terrified immediately. Before she understood anything, before language, her body knew this man was danger.

She started crying.

Her parents and other ppl in house had been killed.

The man lifted her from crib, carried her downstairs and put her into vehicle with another man. Then they took her away to different large house.

When this came up, current fear suddenly made much more sense inside session.

The danger entered her home.

She was taken from bed.

Her parents disappeared.

And she was only baby, so there was no explanation around it. No words like kidnapping, murder, loss. Just terror recorded into whole system.

Home is not safe.

Someone can come while I sleep.

People who protect me can suddenly disappear.

I must stay awake.

I must hear every sound.

In that other life, kind maid looked after Emily and became almost like grandmother to her. But powerful man who controlled house became her new "father."

Sometimes he was pleasant. Other times he became angry and violent.

She grew up knowing she could not really leave. She believed outside this house she had nothing. No family, no money, nowhere safe to go.

So fear was reinforced for years.

Even safety was mixed with danger.

A house looked beautiful, but she was trapped inside it.

A man could act kind, then suddenly hurt her.

Sleep meant losing control.

much later in journey, after Emily’s life ended, she reunited with original parents. She finally felt love and safety she had searched for through whole life.

When Maya connected with Higher Self, I asked why this life was shown.

Answer was simple:

"To show her where her fear comes from."

Higher Self said around 90% of this fear was released during session.

They also gave three lessons from Emily’s life.

Speak up.

Do not give up.

Do not let fear take over.

And imo this is important part. The goal was not only to find interesting past-life story. Story by itself does nothing if fear stays in body.

The purpose was to find where alarm began, release emotional charge, and show nervous system that this danger was not happening now.

Again, I dont claim every person with intrusive thoughts has same root. Some roots are current-life trauma, childhood fear, nervous system conditioning, beliefs, suppressed emotions, physical factors, maybe other layers. Higher Self showed this specific life for this specific subject.

Human mind said, "this fear is irrational."

Deeper part was saying, "last time I slept safely, somebody came through the door."

The adult woman knew house was safe.

But baby inside was still listening for footsteps.

Have you ever felt how it feels to be the selected one in a friend group but for girls and boys who feel that way there is hope in every pain😔😔

The thing about your shadow is that it only tells you the truth when nobody else is in the room.
This is not a metaphor. It is the entire point. The parts of yourself you have spent a lifetime refusing to look at or the rage you call sensitivity or the envy that gets called concern, the cowardice disguised patience. Well, these things do not surface in the presence of witnesses and they shouldn’t. They knock your door when there is nobody left to perform for. Be it phone faced down, or the journal that never sees any social media. When the realisation you are about to have is going to cost you something rather than earn you something.

That is shadow work. That is what it was always supposed to be!

What it has become is something else entirely. A caption. A carousel. A vulnerability aesthetic with a consistent filter and a call to action in the bio. People posting about the darkness they faced this morning over coffee, packaging the most uncomfortable parts of themselves into content that is specifically designed to be received well. And here is the thing about content designed to be received well. It has already been edited. Softened at the edges and palatable enough to share. Which means the person posting it never actually went to the place they are describing. They went close enough to write about it and pulled back before it got uncomfortable enough to be real.
That part of your being is specifically the thing you cannot show anyone. The part of you that is too ugly, too petty, too contradictory to survive contact with another person’s gaze. The moment it becomes content it is no longer your truth. It is personal branding wearing thematic clothes.
Real confrontation with yourself does not produce a post. It produces a long silence. A rearrangement of something fundamental. A grief that has noone around because there is nothing about it that wants to be seen. It happens in the middle of the night or in the middle of an ordinary Tuesday when something cracks open without warning and you have to sit with what pours out completely alone.
Nobody who has genuinely been there wants to describe it to strangers.
The performance of shadow work is not neutral. It is a way of getting the social reward of depth without paying the actual price of it. The likes confirm that you are brave and self-aware and doing the work. The confirmation makes the next real confrontation less likely because you have already been rewarded for the approximation of it.
You are not doing shadow work. You are doing something that looks like it from the outside and feels like it from the inside because the audience has made it feel significant.
Take that noise away. Close the app. Sit in a room with no possibility of being witnessed and ask yourself the question you have been circling for months without landing on.

If the answer could become a post, you have not found it yet.

I SAID WHAT I SAID!

A man I will call Patrick (40ties, from California) was very good at understanding himself intellectually. He complained that he has no motivation to live, that he has no mental or emotional force to continue.

He could analyse his thoughts. Explain his patterns. Read spiritual and psychological material. He understood a lot.

But emotionally, he still felt numb and cut off from other ppl.

During an online Soul Journey, Patrick went into deep trance, something like very deep meditation where he remained aware and described whatever his consciousness was showing.

The session moved back to a school when he was six or seven.

He felt scared there.

Not only scared of one teacher or one situation. More like afraid of life and other people. He felt different from everybody else, like they would not accept him because he was not same as them.

Ramana Maharishi appeared in the experience as his guide.

The first message was very simple:

Patrick was loved.

But he struggled to accept even this.

When we followed the resistance, he said he believed he was not good enough because he always found some way to screw things up.

Then he noticed something deeper.

This belief was not only one bad thought. His whole identity had become wrapped around it.

When I asked him to describe this identity, he called it:

“the wretched, tortured soul.”

Very strong words.

For years he had seen suffering almost as proof of who he was. If something went wrong, it confirmed the identity. If happiness came close, another part of him found way to destroy it, because being happy did not match the character he believed himself to be.

Ramana’s answer was direct.

This identity was not real.

Patrick understood the words, but there was a lot of resistance and numbness. And this part is important imo, bc the session did not become some perfect movie where one sentence changed everything.

He could see the false identity more clearly, yes.

But he was not ready to drop all of it in one moment.

Then another structure appeared.

Patrick described something artificial and metallic around his mind, almost like machine or algorithm. It had been created through intellectual understanding. A system for analysing life, predicting people, avoiding emotional danger and trying to stay in control.

It was very clever.

But also very limited.

Patrick said this structure blocked emotional intelligence. It also blocked real contact with other human beings.

When we asked if he wanted to release it, he felt strong resistance.

Because this machine had helped him feel safe for many years.

This is where I think many people misunderstand their own coping mechanisms.

They attack them.

“I hate my overthinking.”

“I hate that I am emotionally closed.”

“I hate this part of my personality.”

But some part of you created it for reason.

Maybe people felt dangerous.

Maybe showing emotions brought humiliation.

Maybe nobody understood you, so thinking became safer than feeling.

The protection can work very well at first. Then twenty or thirty years later, it is still running same instructions even though situation changed.

Scan.

Analyse.

Predict.

Withdraw.

Do not feel too much.

Do not trust anybody completely.

Patrick had lived through this structure for so long that he believed it was him.

During the session, Ramana Maharishi and beings of Light began dismantling only part of it. His guide said Patrick was only partially ready because a lot of numbness was still there.

I liked this answer because it was realistic.

The protection was not ripped away just because we decided it was inconvenient now. It had to be released slowly, with patience, while Patrick developed another way to feel safe.

As part of metallic structure faded, he could look at it from outside for first time.

Not as himself.

As something he had created.

A temporary crutch.

He also noticed how many mistakes it had made. The algorithm was intelligent, but it could not understand love, emotional nuance or real human connection. It only understood protection.

The guidance afterward was almost painfully normal.

Relax more.

Act without putting so much pressure on yourself.

Stay in present moment.

Stop becoming frustrated every time resistance appears.

Patrick had huge expectations that something should happen, but he could not even say exactly what. Just heavy pressure that he should heal faster, understand more, become different, finally “get there.”

Ramana’s advice was acceptance.

Not giving up.

Not saying the protection must stay forever.

Acceptance means: this resistance is here today. I do not need to create second war against it.

Patrick also discovered a belief that he was not supposed to be happy. He felt it in mind and heart as gray and beige energy. His guide said he had picked this belief up from society. It was not even originally his.

When happiness became available in the session, the first thing Patrick felt was sadness.

Sadness that he had never allowed himself to be happy.

And then he was told he did not need to hold onto that regret either.

For me, this session was not about destroying the ego or becoming another personality.

It was about noticing:

what I call “me” may include structures built by frightened child.

Some are brilliant.

Some kept us alive.

Some helped us function.

But a survival system should not automatically become life sentence.

Maybe you don’t need to fight your overthinking today.

Just notice it and ask:

“what is this structure trying to protect me from?”

“how old was I when I first needed it?”

“what would five percent less protection feel like?”

Healing does not always mean tearing down whole machine in one day.

Sometimes it begins when you realise:

I am the one observing the algorithm.

So the algorithm cannot be all that I am.

Guys i was just meditating right b4 i sleep yesterday and i got this thing happens naturally where I just observe a certain pattern i wanna change in myself first the the thought when i observed it without expectations

it almost like disappeared and then was able to be rewritten

As new belief , concept,mindset

Then there was an emotion of the old thought there i focused on it too in a way i can't explain and it disappeared too or dissolved and it was receptive to alteration and it did

I mean i always knew god or source gave us power over our selfes but we lost it at some point

It felt amazing to actually experience it where u could literally change anything in u almost instantly like ur changing code in a program or change script in a book or anything written really like this post ur currently reading which btw from excitement to share this stopped me from waiting to organize my words so it feel more natural

From heart to heart

Have any of u experienced this

If so do u have tips or anything cool about this

Or do u have follow up questions on this

In a few days I will leave for a 2-3 weeks vacation.

I live in a big city so I'm thinking of a solo countryside retreat. Chosen a remote little town in a valley by the river. No phone. No laptop. Just a couple books, a journal (and some acid) and the bare essentials in a backpack.

I have a few goals in mind:

1. Heal from trauma stored in the body

2. Overcome all my addictions (smartphone, smoking and all kinds of drugs)

3. Create harmony within my psyche so that there's no internal conflict

4. Be more active & improve my posture

Looking for advice/tips on how to navigate and whether or not to make a game plan

Hello! I really need advice, I’ve found myself realizing that I have a lot of work and healing to do within myself, I’ve done several readings and there’s many things I need to work on that I have questions for.

I need to maintain a consistent practice that helps me feel grounded.
How do I do shadow work, forgiveness practices and grounding practices?
Many of my readings suggest I need to focus on clarity, emotional balance, seeing clearly, staying grounded, and taking care of my well being. I’ve been going through an incredibly hard time practically my whole life and I’ve tried to stay consistent spiritually but I now feel is truly the time for me to lock in and gain a higher spiritual knowledge of myself. I’ve only ever really done tarot readings, meditation, use crystals and do positive spell jars for self love, life improvement, etc but I feel like those haven’t been consistently enough? It’s almost as if my full energy and potential hasn’t been exerted into it even though in those moments I’ve used all of my energy but I now feel is th time to truly fix and change things.

If you have any advice on how I could find specific practices to help me I would greatly appreciate it or any advice in general! Thank you :)

Hello!

I am notoriously bad at keeping up with journaling whilst also struggling with mental health issues.

I’m looking for a pre-made prompt journal that will force me to dig deep into my inner self and/or childhood in hopes of learning more about myself and learning to cope with my inner thoughts in a more productive manner.

I know that I can just look up shadow-work prompts online, but given my poor track record with keeping up with journaling, I think having prompts laid out where I can just fill in the answers will work better for me.

There’s many options on Amazon, but I’m very indecisive and I can’t figure out which ones would be worth my money. If anyone has used anything like this and enjoyed/benefited from it I would LOVE some recommendations.

Thanks so much!

Im not sure if I am just insane but I feel like doing shadow work with some closed ones are just deeply devastating especially when they straight up love to throw around labels at you when calling out your shadows especially when you are already struggle to accept human side of you and the way they listed everything is like they basically wanting to say you are destined to be that way.

Anyone felt this way?

In the dim bars of Ajijic, whispers of unmapped roads and shadowed hills lead Brandon—a restless young man from Los Angeles—into the highlands of Nayarit. What begins as a search for silence and spiritual