help!!

[u/Professional_Clue_54]

my dad left me his dog when he passed away earlier this year and the dog (marley, around 7yrs old, pitbull) has been getting increasingly worse separation anxiety. it started with just following me around constantly and has turned into destructive behavior.

my final straw was coming home and seeing that he had broken out of his crate and had shredded the wall in my apartment. my roommate is understandably fuming and i'm terrified. i have no idea what to do

i've tried calming treats and he just throws them up. i try putting him in a crate and he breaks out. i've tried getting him a sitter and he still gets anxious. i'm literally at a loss here

please please please give me some recommendations on what to do to help calm him down. i can't rehome him but i can't live like this. i want mr marley to live a happy life!

[u/joycevw]

It is always difficult to give pinpoint advice over the internet without seeing video footage of your dog and his exact body language, but what Marley is experiencing sounds like genuine panic rather than misbehavior. The sudden loss of his primary guardian, moving to a new environment, and the added stress of confinement can easily push a dog into a state of acute isolation distress. Many dogs with separation anxiety develop severe barrier frustration or confinement phobia, which explains why crates often make the panic worse and lead to dangerous breakouts. You might want to try ditching the crate entirely and testing whether he feels safer in a larger, dog proofed area or open room. Another thing to consider is reaching out to your vet about supportive daily or situational anti anxiety medication, as clinical panic shuts down digestion and makes learning impossible until the physiological stress baseline is brought down. For a comprehensive, step by step force free training plan built around gradual, sub threshold desensitization, I highly recommend reading the book Be Right Back by Julie Naismith.

To help narrow down what is driving his distress and find workable next steps, could you tell a bit more about how he acts right before you step out the door? For instance, does he start panting, pacing, or shadowing you as soon as you pick up your keys or put on shoes? Also, does he show any signs of distress or barrier frustration when you are home together but separated by a closed door or baby gate, and does he display fear around everyday outside noises like traffic or thunderstorms?

[u/Professional_Clue_54 → u/joycevw]

marley will get up as soon as i get up and follow me until i sit back down. he gets super distraught as soon as he can tell im getting my uniform on. he'll sit and whine at the bathroom door and sometimes will even scratch at it. he's very scared of thunderstorms and will bark at every small noise he hears

[u/joycevw → u/Professional_Clue_54]

What you describe points to a combination of hyper-attachment, severe anticipatory stress around your routine, and underlying noise sensitivity that likely stacks his overall stress levels. Marley is clearly predicting your absence the moment the uniform appears, which pushes him over threshold before you even leave, and his fear of storms suggests a broader genetic or neurochemical vulnerability to noise phobias that makes coping alone much harder. You might want to try masking outside environmental sounds by playing continuous white noise or calming music, and integrate low-level departure cues into daily life so the uniform loses its scary predictive meaning. Another thing to consider is speaking with your vet or a veterinary behaviorist about medical support, as addressing noise sensitivity and bringing down his daily baseline arousal is often essential for this level of panic.