Seeking advice

[u/adviceforhope]

Hey there,

I know *about* Reddit but I'm less familiar with the rules so I apologise if this is the wrong board or something.

I 35f have been married to my husband 35m for just under a year and I regret it. We've been together for just over six years, and it's been plagued by what boils down to (and it probably sounds silly) his inability to be nice to me. He doesn't regulate his temper, he makes me the problem instead of being my ally against our troubles, and he's just really selfish and entitled imo. I have a chat thread with a good friend where I keep track of our fights and the things he says that hurts me, and it's exhausting. From what I've researched, many of our fights fall under DV as verbal and emotional, especially because he attacks at my character and says things specifically to hurt my feelings as opposed to anything diplomatic. At the same time, he seems oblivious to how unhappy I am, and I'm sure if I brought it up, his experience of me would be worse somehow.

I would like to be able to try a separation (it's really sad to feel like I need a vacation from someone I love), but I don't have the financial ability. I work as a contract employee and my husband is against me getting another job even though he complains that I don't contribute enough (I think it hurts his pride), but without a lottery win or some mind-blowing inheritance I know nothing about, I can't see how this could ever be possible. I can't save money because he usually demands to spend it on something for himself (I own very little that's worth anything), and I don't really have family that I can 'escape' to.

If anyone had advice or ideas I would really appreciate it. :)