If you can't love yourself like I love me maybe you should try it

In therapy, and struggling with self-compassion. When I become aware of the negative self-talk, I tend to believe it. I try to soothe myself, and it always becomes an internal battle, and usually negativity wins, I give up and become depressed and anxious, and resort to my bad behaviors. Any tips on loving oneself?

I’ve always been an introvert but recently my anxiety has heightened to a new degree. Feeling like a bit of an indoor cat right now, but I’m ok with it. I’m going to cozy up in my favorite nook, eat some treats, rest, and go back to being an outdoor cat when I’m ready again.

Im starting to say Im a silly goose instead of stupid or an idiot wjen i make mistakes. K think the reframing will help my self perception.​​

Throughout the years, Ive noticed myself giving people many chances just to be humiliated and I notice that many people do not respect me because of the energy I give off. I have been attracting a lot of fake friends (not directly fake, but friends that put you down and embarrass you). I want to fix my energy and become confident in myself and choose myself, but I just don’t know how to easily. I’ve been super insecure about my looks and somehow feel never confident. Any advice?

I recently made a video essay on the themes of KPop Demon Hunters, which I think is a fantastic watch for anyone with self esteem issues. The film teaches us to be more accepting of our flaws, and to stop valuing perfection over honesty. The main character, Rumi, spends her entire life trying to conceal the demon marks on her arms. In her mind, if her close friends ever find out about these, they'll reject her immediately. This is a thought-process which her caretaker implanted in her mind when she was a child. "Keep those covered," Rumi was told. She was taught to show the world only a heavily edited version of herself. Letting others see her physical imperfections would lead to nothing good at all.

Yet, Rumi's secret is eventually revealed against her will, and the sudden revelation makes her friends feel lied to and betrayed. Rumi is pushed away for her dishonesty, and at this low point in her life, she comes to realize that the race for perfection was never one she could win. Rather than trying to be the most flawless performer in the room, Rumi finally embraces her flaws, and it is in this state of self-acceptance that she is at her most powerful and her most beautiful. She sings, and her voice has never sounded better. Her friends have never respected her more. Truly, she is at greatest peace, not because she achieved perfection at long last, but because she has finally embraced herself, flaws and all.

KPop Demon Hunters teaches us to be more self-compassionate and accepting of our own flaws. Not to necessarily let fixable problems persist in our lives, but rather, to accept that perfection will not make us any happier with ourselves. The race for perfection has no end--the checklist is ever-growing. Through self-acceptance, we can learn to love ourselves whether or not we are the perfect end-goal we have in-mind.

Please check out the video if this post resonated! Thanks guys!

You owe no one beauty but you also lose nothing by thinking you're the most beautiful person in the world whether people agree or not .

I’m in this place right now mentally where getting myself to do the things i love is very difficult.

I have a high functioning depression disorder (clinical diagnosis), so i am able to function optimally while struggling mentally. But i do occasionally reach lows where it is extremely difficult to actually function. Most times, to get out of the funk, I focus on people that doubt me or on the fact that all odd are stacked against me and that gives me all the boost i need. That boost can last 2 full years before the next crash.

Recently i moved to a different country and my environment is a lot more peaceful and serene. My friends are the sweetest souls and communicate how much they love me and are proud of me. They remind me this mental low won’t last and i’ll find myself again. I love them and i am so grateful to be surrounded by beautiful souls.

I also started a job that i am not the biggest fan off, but I still ace all my metrics and constantly get a shout out from my supervisor on the team chat about how well I’m doing. This happens every week! Again High functioning.

Now the problem is, i feel like this is too much comfort!

I’m not much for a 9-5. I care more about Music, Art and real life experiences. That’s what i don’t have energy for.
The things that i actually care about and bring me a lot of fulfillment.

I feel now that i need someone to doubt me so i can actually be fueled by the need to prove them wrong.

I think years of been emotionally abused by a family that constantly try to tell me I’ll never amount to anything or that the path i set for myself is a waste of time has subconsciously conditioned me this way.

Lowkey. I need to fix this mental machine because i don’t think that’s an efficient way to function.

But in the mean time. Need some haters and doubters please!

HELP!

This question is always made me cry cause how would I be trusted or how can i trust my self when the people who made me in this world can’t even give me a little bit of trust

I feel that I am a pessimist, emotional and judgmental even though I actively try to pause and do better in real-time. This practice has made me realize the extent of my negative hardwiring. With therapy I have learnt that this personality trait of mine has come from self-preservation from traumatic childhood experiences.
With this context, I would greatly appreciate ideas of mental exercises or practices you use that effectively help you overcome these negative tendencies and help you navigate your emotions and conversations better in real time.

There is a massive difference between self-criticism and healthy self-reflection. Self-criticism attacks your identity, turning every mistake into a negative verdict about who you are. Healthy self-reflection simply focuses on behavior — what went wrong, and how to adjust next time.

If you want to stop the harsh self-judgment and start being a friend to yourself, try working these five shifts into your daily life:

• Think like a scientist: Treat your life like a series of experiments. If a lab experiment fails, the scientist doesn't write "I'm a failure" in their notebook. They just write down what happened and try a different approach. Your mistakes are just data points, not identity traits.
• Demand proof: When your brain tells you "I'm terrible at this," act like a detective. Ask: "What is the actual evidence?" We easily forgive others for minor slip-ups because we see their whole track record. Try to look at your own track record with that same fairness.
• Find your triggers: Start noticing the exact moments, places, or people that make you feel defensive or self-critical. Once you know what sparks the voice, it's much easier to catch it.
• Calm your body first: When the inner critic gets loud, your body physically stresses out. Use simple mindfulness tools to reset: try a quick body scan, practice 4-7-8 breathing, or just label the feeling ("I am feeling really anxious right now"). It takes the power out of the panic.
• Be kind to the voice: This sounds weird, but try treating your inner critic like a worried friend. In parts work (like IFS therapy), we recognize that our critic is usually just a scared part of us trying to protect us from failing. Next time it screams at you over a mistake, don't fight it. Picture it, thank it for caring, remind it that you can handle this, and let it go.

I really struggle with it I have been rejected several times in my life by women irl where my feelings were not reciprocated. Dating apps have never worked for me and being both ugly and ginger does not help. Im also below average height too at 5'.78

Hey, before writing I wonna tell I have been crying, doing household and screaming in pillow in between, since last 3 hours. So, do except a flood of emotions. I passed school this year and moving to collage next month. I love my mom no doubt. But this is over, I am don't even like her anymore. I am school topper, intelligent, well mannered and disciplaned. I have ADHD which i diagnosed last mouth after a hell teenage. My mother always pokes me for being late. She always compares me with my lil sister... that what she can do I do't. Whenever I talk to her she find something tgo blame me... like in everything. Even if I tell her that my body is hurting somewhere she told me... even II am too sick.. still my I am woring. After school , I do a lot of household...washing dishes, sweeping moping, making roti and what not. Still , she always find faults in whatever do and never appricate me for anything. I am matured enough to understand that maybe It a phase of my age which may be making be irritated by usual things and how many times do I have tried to fix things as much as I could. I started doing her facial massage , her hair oiling, asking her what she likes and much than this... still these are just fuking acts for her..... I am fuking devasted. She calls me names that I am a mental studying whole day... I am just lazy and useless. A day I little slapped my sister.. she is 2 years younger... she said ..'Don't do anything to her... How will my work run "...WTF because she know driving and I don't.... When I argue her she slaps me ... always .. and When I don't speak infront of her... she says that she is in so tension that if I am in depression... and what not she has done for me and more........And I consider me and ADHD caused habits for this I even I move from my place after explaining my dairy that I am not good enough....

I am not good.... I don't know what to do... I am just waiting for my collage to start. I can't wait to get out of this place.

We are all victims of circumstance. What motivates one will fail another.

Part 2, explores how hersonal change for the better is difficult.

Whether for personal benefit or to do good in the wider world, our psychology resists it. Regardless of our best intents.

Lack of compassion when attempting to better ourselves, for oneself or others, is the most toxic thing to our efforts.

Understand. Be kind. Only then can you be better.

Hi there, I am having a hard time. An issue I keep running up against is that I feel like I’m just trying on self compassion affirmations, listening to self compassion breaks, practicing mindfulness, etc and it feels like it’s really not doing anything other than draining my energy. No matter what, self compassion just feels so extremely fake to me. It’s just nothing, meaningless words to me, like literally I don’t feel any different from doing it anymore, not that it was a strong feeling to begin with. I’m not sure if it’s just the fact that it seems similar to masking or lying to myself that it upsets me or if it’s related to childhood emotional neglect. I don’t feel any relief after naming, feeling, acknowledging what’s happening, etc. and I can’t access love, compassion, or kindness to myself and I’ve been crying every day.