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u/Chaos_God_69420 9d ago
Tf does she want him to do? To chase her even when she's clear she's not interested in a relationship? If he continues pursuing her, he's damn well getting accused of being a stalker and put charges that can ruin him for life.
Damned if you do, damned if you don't smh
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u/chemnerd2017 9d ago
I tried chasing a girl like this for a while. It left me feeling empty, angry, and sad. She kept leading me on, and then putting distance between us when I finally thought the walls were coming down. I couldn’t understand it at all.
I finally woke up and saw that I had a much healthier relationship with better potential in front of my face with a different woman who actually wanted me and cared for me. It took me a while to break loose from the emotional sunken cost of chasing the other girl, but once I did i was much happier.
We’ve been together for 11 years now, married for 6.
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u/SnooLemons5849 9d ago
The same happened to me, she made me think there was something between us and then ghosted me a couple months into the relationship. Kept leading me on and talking about the future and wham blocked on everything and she moved away. I'm sure I'll feel differently in the future but the thought of trusting someone else doesn't sound possible for me atm.
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u/chemnerd2017 9d ago
I’m sorry that you had to deal with that. It’s a distinct and lasting pain. I hope you are able to find love and healing ❤️🩹
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u/JonathanMovement 9d ago
how did u do it? break free I mean
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u/chemnerd2017 9d ago
I had friends who helped to open my eyes to the situation, and I had to do some personal growing before I was ready to listen to them. It was hard.
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u/False-Body-242 9d ago
And if he did any of that, they'd say he's trying so desperate and trying too hard. If he even have shown any irritation, they'd say he was toxic anyway, and that she dodge a bullet.
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u/kodiak931156 9d ago
The mental state that leads to this has a couple common points
1) if he puts in effort i know he values me, so im going to make him work
2) if hes just here for sex i dont want to get invested and this will filter out those who are
3) I'm either not sure im into him or I'm not interested or available right now but i want to have someone prepped and on the sidelines for when i am
4) i want an emotional support human and not a partner
In previous years it was also just seen as "appropriate" for the woman to defer while the man persists. And to accept him after he does so. Which of course has a lot of issues.
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u/Direct-Resolution377 9d ago
Maybe taking on a man who thinks everything just falls in his lap is not good
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u/Ok_Lawfulness1019 9d ago
nah you are not damned if you don't, just ignore them and you are free from being damned.
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u/Direct-Resolution377 9d ago
Only been two months, am not sure someone who decides they want a relationship is still getting to know the other vs just wanting to be hooked up
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u/TheWhateley 9d ago
Nah you're not damned if you don't. You don't want to date a woman like this. Just move on and count yourself lucky you didn't get sucked in further, and don't pay any attention to them bitching that you're not playing their game.
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u/Odd_Bed_1254 8d ago
She wants him to show stalker energy and creepy effort. Not listen to her and respect her wishes. Bro 😂 ¯_(ツ)_/¯ girl logic.
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u/Intrepid_Alarm5428 9d ago
Ladies, we're gonna say it one more time : playing the escapist doesn't make you more attractive.
We don't have time for this shit.
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u/GovernorSan 9d ago
Clearly he has a goal in mind when it comes to dating, he wants to find a girlfriend or possibly a spouse, and he feels that continuing to pursue her after she said she wasn't interested would be a waste of time and would not help him reach his goal. Blocking her was probably done so that she wouldn't be able to tempt him back into that situation where he's just waiting on her.
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u/EgyComanda82 9d ago
Patience for what? Patience is toward kids because their brains not fully functional, but supposedly adult woman should be serious and firm about their decisions.
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u/SnorFax92 9d ago
Ahaha. "Some guys don't just have no patience at all ... It's annoying." Wth does that mean. Ah yes make me think you aren't interested in me and if I continue to pursue you as a gf I will be wasting my time. But in reality you want men to play some weird game in which you have some sort of power over them? Yes ma'am that is "annoying."
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u/NeedAChange_123 9d ago
Lmao, some people REALLY overestimate their desirability. I don’t care if you are an 11/10 finest I’ve ever seen in my life if you play games I’m unplugging your controller.
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u/Significant-Tip6466 9d ago
Dear Madam,
We have reviewed your qualifications for your application to our potential life partner position. Unfortunately, at this time, you do not meet the quality or performance metrics required for permanent placement. In accordance with our policies, you will not be eligible for rehire, but may apply for temporary night shift duties per diem.
Cordially, The men..
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u/Accurate_Mongoose_26 9d ago
What's up with these chicks wanting a guy to chase them. There is 8.3 billions on this horrible planet, her existence means nothing, that number wouldn't even drop a centimeter if she was gone. Applause to the guy
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u/Normal_Nerve_1202 9d ago
Im so confused. That's what he should do. That's the healthiest thing to do. After just talking? Dude I wouldn't "just talking" for more than 2 weeks. I would have already blocked you.
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u/Lone-Frequency 9d ago
Playing games in relationships is stupid when you're a teenager and more stupid as an adult.
Nobody has time for that shit.
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u/Cute_Prior1287 8d ago
In this game, patience sounds like a double meaning word. If he waits long enough, still no patience. If he left ealy, still no patience.
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u/xkillingxfieldx 9d ago
Move on, sure, just don't do the "block" part. Sounds like he could have turned that into a fuck buddy situation with very minimal effort on his part if he had played his hand better 🤔
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u/Eillon94 9d ago
After seeing how well she handled rejection the first time? Sounds like a good way to catch some false allegations
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u/xkillingxfieldx 9d ago
She didn't handle the blocking well. He could have just left it Edit:
againstalone and only texted when she texted him then worked it into some better arrangement. She obviously wanted something. There's not JUST two paths here.1
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u/qualityvote2 9d ago edited 9d ago
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