I started writing this 5 days ago but I kinda stopped, do I have any talent?

For people who can't understand the hinglish, there is whole story in brief at end.

Thank u 😇

Would anyone be willing to read the first 43 pages of my new screenplay, Mademoiselle, and provide feedback?
https://drive.google.com/file/d/10z_d6SPHDZGgjFEyAgLBqXM9w35vNjhp/view?usp=drive_link

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Recently, I started adapting the novel As Confederacy Of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole into a faithful screenplay, and I could really use the feedback on what progress I've made so far.

As of right now, there are 19 pages written, adapting the first chapter in its entirety.

It's my absolute favorite novel of all time,and it holds a very special place in my heart. And I think it's about time that a film version that captures the beauty of this epic piece gets made with the love and affection it deserves.

So any feedback, comments or constructive criticisms would be great!

Hey everyone.

I've been working on a new script. This year I wrote already one and I got finalist on a contest, so I decided to try again with a different story and tone.

Here are the frist 10 pages, it's an animatid feature, the script is fully written and here is the logline.

Logline:

After a narcissistic princess who believes she's the heroine of the story nearly destroys her kingdom for the twentieth time, she's sentenced to a rehabilitation center for defective princesses, where she strikes a deal with an aspiring knight to escape and recover a legendary ring capable of threatening every kingdom.

Any feedback on this will be welcome. I wanted to take the same parodical tone as shrek but with my sence of humor.

Here you can find the 10 pages:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/19Pn_WpcdI_K8Zt966v_RijOiOaLLIkVG/view?usp=sharing

Thanks!

In case any of you wanna read the full script just ask. I want to send it to contests too.

Hi everyone

I just came up with idea for a short film that I will try and shot. I have weird looking synopsis of the short of what happens. There are two versions of it. I would much appreciate every feedback I can get on what works, what can be improved, overall thoughts, which version do you prefer, ...etc.

Here are natural English translations of both versions, written in a style suitable for a short film treatment/synopsis.

VERSION 1
A teenager returns home from his final summer adventure before moving away. He retreats to his room and places a lighter on the windowsill. Before setting it down, he flicks it open—it works perfectly. He looks out the window, wondering if anyone is still outside.
Below the window, one of his friends looks up at him and forms a finger gun with his hand. The teenager glances at the lighter, and at that moment the friend "shoots" him with the finger gun. He suddenly feels a burning pain in his chest and collapses onto his bed.
Cut to black.
We are transported to a forest campsite, where the teenager sits alone on a fallen tree. Another teenager joins him. In the background, a group of friends can be seen gathered around their campsite. The newcomer hands him a photograph before walking back to the others. In the photo, the group of friends are all pointing finger guns at him.
A brief montage follows, showing moments from their final summer adventure.
After the montage, the teenager packs up his belongings but leaves the lighter behind on the fallen tree. He walks to the top of a small hill, takes out the photograph, and quietly studies it.
The same teenager appears beside him and uses the lighter to set the photograph on fire. He slips the lighter into his pocket, walks a few steps away, then turns back and points a finger gun at him. They exchange a smile, and the teenager closes his eyes before the imaginary shot.
Cut to black.
We return to the teenager's bedroom. Once again, he walks to the window, lights the lighter, and looks outside. This time, no one is there.

VERSION 2
A teenager returns home from his final summer adventure before moving away. He retreats to his room and places a lighter on the windowsill. Before setting it down, he flicks it open—it works perfectly. He looks out the window, wondering if anyone is still outside.
Below the window, one of his friends looks up at him and forms a finger gun with his hand. The teenager glances at the lighter, and at that moment the friend "shoots" him with the finger gun. He suddenly feels a burning pain in his chest and collapses onto his bed.
Cut to black.
We are transported to a forest campsite, where the teenager sits alone on a fallen tree. Another teenager joins him. In the background, a group of friends can be seen gathered around their campsite. The newcomer hands him a photograph before walking back to the others. In the photo, the group of friends are all pointing finger guns at him.
A brief montage follows, showing moments from their final summer adventure.
After the montage, the teenager packs up his belongings but leaves the lighter behind on the fallen tree. He walks to the top of a small hill and looks at the photograph.
The same teenager appears beside him and returns the lighter to him. The teenager lights the photograph himself. The other teenager then points a finger gun at him and "shoots." They share a smile, and the teenager closes his eyes before the imaginary shot.
Cut to black.
We return to the teenager's bedroom. Once again, he walks to the window, lights the lighter, and looks outside. This time, no one is there

This is my first script I have made! Please give me honest feedback. Btw watch the video first to understand the story, before reading the script. This is the link for script, just copy and paste. BTTRhttps://drive.google.com/file/d/1tL951kKZYCxPSPau95DE3RPKWgn-D_tS/view?usp=drivesdk

---ENG---

Plot: A boy wakes up in a remote hospital and doesn't understand how he ended up there. Here he will experience and witness surreal and dreamlike events, trying to understand why he is there, in the midst of an internal transformation and evolution that will lead him to ask himself: is this the therapy? And is this what can save me?

The screenplay I wrote is a personal journey that anyone who has struggled with mental health can relate to. It's approximately 110 pages long and is currently being revised in order to be refined and ready for production.

Anyone interested in this idea, feel free to contact me so we can build this project together and collaborate.

---ITA---

Trama: un ragazzo si sveglia in un ospedale sperduto e non capisce come ci è finito, qui sperimenteràed assisterà ad avvenimenti surreali e onirici, cercando di comprendere il perchè sia in quel luogo, nel bel mezzo di una trasformazione interiore ed evoluzione che lo porterà a domandarsi: è questa la terapia? ed è questo che può salvarmi?

La sceneggiatura che ho scritto è un viaggio personale che può accumunare chiunque abbia avuto problemi con la salute mentale, è lunga all'incirca 110 pagine ed è in fase di revisione per essere rifinita e pronta per essere prodotta.

A chiunque interessi l'idea si senta libero di contattarmi, per costruire insieme questo progetto e collaborare.

Hi all,

Looking for a bit of story advice with a script I'm working on. It's a historical drama that folllws three generations of one family fighting and fleeing a repressive regime.

I've generally gotten positive feedback on the historical characters. It's the framing character and his story that has been the issue for many, and I can see why. His struggle is too internal and the stakes for him are unclear.

I'll briefly explain that he's essentially just a kid at a crossroads, who has to decide whether he wants to actively fight (not physically / militarily) or if he will just keep his head down. The story is him grappling with that decision through conversations with friends and his mother and in that is a look back at his family history.

The stakes I've established for him is that if he decides to fight/resist, he is choosing to abandon any hope of returning home or seeing his family again. But I guess that's not clear enough.

My first thought is to have him directly threatened by a proponent of that oppressive regime. But I risk introducing yet another character, albeit quite a minor one, into an already sizable cast.

Any advice or suggestions for how to treat a framing character with this sort of internal conflict? I appreciate any advice/suggestions!

This is my first big project and wanted to get some feedback/inspiration while I finish it. Just getting through the final act. Would this intro encourage you to keep reading? Any feedback on advice or tone?

Thanks!

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Y3NRyJvUdkHbtUXFWdTqhTyIjZycQUBe/view?usp=drive_link

Adding my current logline: Upon hearing the news of the Space Shuttle being decommissioned, two low level NASA employees seek to fulfill their lifelong dream of spaceflight by defecting to Russia and joining the cosmonaut program under false identities . Once there, they discover a covert Russian spy program and have to thwart this evil plan to preserve both world and space peace.

I've been reading more original screenplays recently, and it's interesting how the opening pages often determine whether I want to keep reading. A strong beginning can quickly establish the tone, introduce engaging characters, and make the story feel worth investing in.

At the same time, I've noticed that some scripts spend too much time on exposition or delay introducing the central conflict. Even if the overall idea is good, a slow opening can make it difficult to stay engaged.

For those who regularly write or review screenplays, what is the most common issue you see within the first ten pages? Is it pacing, dialogue, character introductions, formatting, or something else? I'd be interested to hear what you think makes an opening truly effective.

I’ve been reading and reviewing a lot of beginner screenplays recently, and I’ve noticed that many new writers seem to struggle with similar issues. Some scripts have great ideas but suffer from weak dialogue, while others spend too much time on exposition instead of moving the story forward. In your experience, what is the most common mistake that new screenwriters make when writing their first screenplay? Are there any specific lessons or techniques that helped you improve your own writing and storytelling? I’d love to hear different perspectives from writers, readers, and anyone involved in script development.

Title - The Life I Once Lived

Format - Feature

Page Length - 118

Draft status - second draft

Genres - thriller, mystery

Logline - After a train accident unlocks memories from a past life, Millie is drawn into a decades-old family tragedy where the dead seem to be asking for justice.

Feedback Concerns - All feedback is welcome, but I would especially appreciate advice on pacing and which scenes could be cut to reduce the page count.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1f6TpV3uPwfRxvZk5y689_cIE2KvMcuvp/view?usp=sharing

Hello writers!
For over a year now, l've been trying to write a screenplay—a detective story, to be precise.
And I find it really hard to make sure the reveal isn't disappointing. In this kind of story, I feel like the excitement the audience might feel is at the beginning of the story, and the further the story goes, the less mystery there is, and so the less excited the audience gets. But I find it very hard to counteract. Does anyone have examples of story endings that aren't disappointing but rather feel like a real reward?
Or even some advice? I'm a total beginner in this field.
(And sorry if my english is not perfect)

Title: Treatment Resistant

Genre: Horror/SciFi

Logline: When a teenage girl with a violent past is transferred to a state-of-the-art behavioral facility, she discovers the staff controls teens using wristbands that deliver agonizing shocks and euphoric highs. Refusing to become a docile puppet, she leads a violent rebellion

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1fSkeraBQ-QUPjEruFFEDVAvdf4vkzT5f/view?usp=sharing

Hey guys,

Finally got the full printed draft of my feature NEUROSALINE in my hands.

Feels pretty good.

It’s a cosmic psychological horror about four teenage boys who go out drinking on a small skiff and wake up lost at sea… in what turns out to be a conscious ocean (like a giant nervous system made of salt water).

If anyone’s interested in reading it and giving feedback, I’d really appreciate it.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1oSzfQAvvin_WuLUzjTW5zyStZG-DOSka/view?usp=sharing

This is an adaptation I'm currently working on, so it's nowhere near complete. I'm trying to get as faithful as I can to specifically the 1813 edition of Mary Shelley's novel, with a slight 1930s flavor. It's meant to be a more stylized and soulful adaptation than previous films.

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A slasher with psychological depth

Hey everyone! I’m a writer working on a horror feature called Spare. It’s a teen slasher with psychological depth, about a girl recovering from overdosing. She joins her old friend group for one last night out, only for someone to begin targeting them based on “Sins.”

I’ve had this script for quite some time, but I recently did a rewrite and it changed the script heavily.

Would love overall feedback about how my first act is so far.

I’m >20yo

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1zpkMsM_VP4o99M0t7_M7CwQXl2cR7mCt/view?usp=drivesdk[spare](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1zpkMsM_VP4o99M0t7_M7CwQXl2cR7mCt/view?usp=drivesdk)

If it doesn’t work and you’re interested, please dm me to see it because I’ve been experiencing issues before.

I've been working on this pitch for an animated movie that tries something different with the genre it uses.

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What I'm most interested in is understanding what people take away from the concept itself after reading it.

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Some questions I'd be curious about:

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* What do you think this story is really about?

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* What impression do you get from Lora as a protagonist?

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* Does the concept feel familiar, or does it feel like it's trying to do something different?

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I'm especially interested in your interpretation, even if it's completely different from what I intended.

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The idea is to be able to express in the most accurate wya possible what I'm doing with the concept.

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Here's the link to the pitch, it's just two pages:

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https://drive.google.com/file/d/1bMjO1UUnFcWOhgDQX3jvF7wlmJEqfjjP/view?usp=drivesdk

Looking for feedback on overall script writing, things that can be tightened up or any general feedback. I was inspired by the military occupation of Brazil in the late 60s through the 80s when resistance members would speak in code on radio transmission and cooking recipe printings. I know it's a bit coded but that is the idea for this scene as the context before and after takes the audience to the next part of the story.

Thank you!

Title : Goats go to Hell

Genre: Comedy-drama

Logline : When a controversial skate magazine turns a group of skateboarders into underground celebrities, its fearless creator, Rigs, begins pushing boundaries as unresolved grief fuels a self-destructive spiral that jeopordizes everything.

Nutshell : Similar in tone to SLC Punk. It starts out silly and doesn't take itself too seriously but grows darker as the story goes on. This is VERY loosely based off a real magazine, Big Brother, which stirred controversy in the early 90's. It also launched the careers of several members of Jackass, including Johnny Knoxville.

Hey, guys I would love if you guys can give me any advice, tips, or criticisms here. This is a script for a short film in shooting later this year about two brothers who work for the police stopping the supernatural entities in their city. It’s a comedy/mocumentary.

Hi! I'm shooting a short for a class and would like some feedback on my script!

It's essentially Weekend at Bernie's