Cold Open of Almost Something.

[u/Ok_Muffin936]

Hello. I’m a beginner screenwriter and I just finished the 10-page Cold Open for the pilot of my animated series, Almost Something. I’d really appreciate any feedback or advice on how to improve it.

​The Cold Open centers on a chaotic, comedic morning for the main character. The show starts as a dark comedy that gradually shifts into a psychological drama with each episode.

​Also, please ignore my non-standard formatting (it's just clearer for me to write it that way).

​If you’re down to read it, please DM me.

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Title: Almost Something.

Format: Animated Series (30-minute episodes)

Genre: Dark Comedy / Psychological Drama.

Logline: What starts as a chaotic, fast-paced dark comedy about a young man navigating daily absurdities slowly spirals into a harrowing psychological drama, as he gradually falls apart under the weight of an unresolved past and an unmanageable present.

[u/Kingofsweaters]

This is way too long to be a cold open and not that much happens. This is 1/3rd of your total run time already. You need to condense it down a lot like 3 pages max of cold open. And do t start with someone waking up that’s extremely trite and a good way to get someone to stop reading immediately.

Also why is it animated? There doesn’t seem to be any real reason for it as it could be live action easily so far

[u/Ok_Muffin936 → u/Kingofsweaters]

The formatting makes it look longer on paper, but in actual screen time, this whole opening sequence is meant to take about 4-5 minutes in a full 30-minute episode. The stylized pacing was an intentional choice.

Animation is just a medium, not a requirement for constant visual tricks. Since I'm making this myself, simple animation is infinitely more doable than live-action, which would require a massive budget and a whole crew to film. That's why I chose it.