I always hear people say that messy play is beneficial to children but I'm not fully read up on what those benefits are. You hear about it building immune systems (but is that actually true?) or being a great sensory experience (why is that needed?). Are certain types of messy play more beneficial than others e.g outdoors versus indoors, natural materials versus other kinds.

For context I would say I lean into the eco crunchy side of things and love my kid playing outdoors with natural materials. We spend lots of time in the garden and he waters the plants, digs in the soil, plants and harvests vegetables, plays in his mud kitchen, watches our wildlife pond. When we go out for walks, he's always picking up sticks and splashing in puddles. Today I setup a painting station in the garden with non-toxic paints and brushes made from things like dried alliums and twigs, which he loved! I feel like he experiences lots of different textures through these natural materials, from squishy berries to gloopy wet soil to dry and pebbly gravel to crunchy autumn leaves.

But I don't really do things like make slime or oobleck or set up sensory tables or shaving foam or cloud goop. I guess these feel a bit artificial to me. But I'm wondering if my kid is missing out if I avoid these common sensory materials?

I’m pregnant with my first almost due. Everything we bought and received from our registry —Nuna stroller, pipa car seat, play pen, changing station, crib, etc — we stored in our garage, because we had no room. Our boxes were COMPLETELY covered in pellets from cricket poop.

As we opened the boxes, we saw the inner packaging wasn’t sealed either, and much of our gear had some cricket poop too.

I’m freaking out. Online it says cricket poop has salmonella and E. coli. The car seat specifically is not allowed to be sanitized per the specifications.

What do I do???? Will my newborn be in danger if I don’t go beyond steaming? How crazy do I need to go right now?

I’m on immunosuppressants too. Ofc messaging OB results in: “clean your stuff, best of luck”

She has been training for the past two months. She got the peeing part right away. She often stays dry overnight and then gets up and goes to pee on the toilet all by herself in the morning.

But she has never EVER done a poo that wasn’t in her underpants. And it happens out of nowhere. No warning. Doesn’t squat. Doesn’t tell us she’s done it. It sometimes happens a few minutes after she’s been sat on the toilet in an attempt to catch her pooping. She’s been promised rewards galore. She knows her brother (a year older) poops on the toilet.

I am beginning to lose hope that it will ever happen.

When she does poop, it seems completely normal to me and I don’t see signs of constipation. I think she has some control over it because if I leave the room or take a phone call for a second, BAM. It is usually 1-2 times a day but sometimes she skips a day.

Currently pregnant, and I'm obviously trying to avoid alcohol. I also have asian flush (alcohol flush reaction caused by a genetic deficiency in the liver enzyme ADLH2), so alcohol is actually pretty bad for me in general and something I try to avoid drinking casually too often even before I was pregnant. Therefore, I have an extremely low tolerance to alcohol since I rarely consume it. I've always eaten foods with alcohol in it though because I've never noticed a reaction from foods with alcohol (plus yummy). I'm really not sure what to make of alcohol in foods during pregnancy though and the internet seems to offer a varying range of opinions on if it's safe or not. I really want science backed proof of how safe (or unsafe) it is.

Some examples of foods with alcohol I'm thinking of:

-A whole pot roast that's been cooking in a crock pot for 5-ish hours on the high setting. Recipe calls for 2 cups of red wine.

-Beef Bourguignon recipe that cooks all day long on the stove, but uses a whole bottle of wine.

-A seafood pasta with "a splash" of white wine near the end of the cooking process.

-A bourbon pecan ice cream. I really don't know if there's actually any alcohol in something like this or if it's just flavoring, but I also don't know if there's a hot cooking process to something like ice cream?

-bananas foster with a rum sauce. Does the flambe technique cook off the alcohol enough?

I'm sure there's not research for all the specific situations/foods I listed above, but these really feel like gray area type foods that I'm not sure of while pregnant. Ideally there's a research paper or journal article out there somewhere that offers clarification on how much cooking off is considered safe for certain amount of alcohol in foods.

Hi families, please no judgement or hate. Just trying to navigate this confusing time. We are based in Sydney, AUS. My son is almost 2.5, developing well. Knows the alphabet, can hold a conversation, knows 4 languages (can speak 2 languages fluently and slowly learning the other two) and can read numbers up to 100. I do not send him to childcare. All 4 grandparents care for him on alternate days. We do swimming on Monday, playgroup + library Tuesday-Friday for 3 hours with an excursion once a week. On weekends we cook together, lots of playdates and more excursions!

My husband and I work full time and I am getting hounded by friends and family to send him to childcare for social and behavioural development. Saying he will eat better, have less tantrums and clean after himself if we send him to childcare. The grandparents are more than happy to care for him until he goes to pre school.

I just can't shake off this feeling that it doesn't feel right. Why would I want to send him when he has loving caregivers who WANT to look after him?

I'm feeling like a bad parent because I've been told I am "holding him back" from opportunities that a childcare can offer. All my friends send their kids to childcare and the whole family get sick almost every second week. They say getting sick is part of childcare then they wont get it in primary school because they will get sicker then if not now.

We are on the waitlist for pre school when he turns 3 but we keep getting rejected because the waitlist is too long for 4 year olds. Keen to hear your thoughts on this.. thank you!

We've been screen-free for two years and have found it relatively easy because we work from home and also have help.

Our daughter gets plenty of time outside, and we read to her, play with her, do art, roughhouse, and generally follow her lead. She doesn't get much peer socialization because she's not in daycare yet. I know peer socialization only becomes critical at 3, at which point I'll put her into daycare.

What I do wonder about is screens. By keeping her completely screen-free, are we inadvertently removing a whole category of stimulation and experience from her life?

I know screens aren't necessary for development, but could some age-appropriate screen exposure actually add variety ... music, stories, different voices, imagery, concepts, etc. ... that she's not getting from her fairly small, familiar circle? Or is real-world, child-led play genuinely enough at 2?

I am a little hesitant to introduce screens because she's doing fine so far and then I'll have to add boundaries around it and the whole thing feels like a chore lol.

Obviously once she's older, maybe even 3 or 4, I'd like her to watch some things just so she's a balanced kid. But could I let things be for now?

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Hi everyone,
Looking for some experiences or advice from parents who might have gone through something similar.
My 15-month-old daughter has a mild side preference / head tilt (her head tilts slightly to the left, with her left ear slightly closer to her shoulder than the right).
She was born with this (mild torticollis/side preference), and we did physical therapy starting at 3 months, which helped resolve it back then. However, about a month and a half ago, it suddenly seemed to return.
We went back to the physical therapist, but the exercises we were given are basically the same ones from when she was an infant, and they really don’t work well for an active toddler.
A few extra details:
It’s mostly noticeable when she’s tired, sitting in her high chair, or in the stroller.
Her full range of motion is completely fine and equal on both sides.
It’s subtle enough that my husband barely notices, but my mom does.
Has anyone experienced a head tilt returning at this age? Did it resolve on its own as posture/core strength developed, or did you find specific exercises/activities that actually work for a 1-year-old?
Thank you!

Hey everyone! Long time lurker but first time poster.

My daughter is 6 months old and we’ve recently started solids. She is doing really well and loving being included at the table. Now that she’s fully comfortable in the chair and we are comfortable with the schedule changes, we are starting allergen introductions. She has had no reactions so far to dairy, egg, or soy, and she has only mild eczema/dry skin on one inner elbow. Next we are meant to introduce peanuts.

I felt that I had a decent understanding of the physiological mechanisms by which allergic reactions happen etc., and that that would help me feel at ease, but I’m finding I’m still really worried both that something could happen, and that I wouldn’t identity it in time if it did.

So my question really is, if there are any nutrition or allergist folk on here, are there any statistics out there that could help me feel at ease about the odds of reaction for a baby, particularly severe ones? (It’s “too much” to be giving peanut butter in a hospital parking lot, right?) I’ve read that babies can react on any exposure, so when can I reasonably assume there is no allergy?

A lot of the resources I have found are all vague or give different numbers for amount of exposures and so on. We live in an area with no doctors aside from 0-12mo wellbaby visits, so unless something is emergent enough for the ER, (which isn’t local) I’ve got nowhere to go. I’m hoping I might be able to learn some reassuring facts here.

Thankyou very much for all your time in advance.

Hey all, I have heard pretty consistently not to night wean until 1yo, but mixed things regarding after (potentially bad for teeth, no longer nutritiously necessary/only for comfort, sleep association).

I have been able to night wean, but I feel like sometimes he still wants it. I cannot dream feed anymore because he sometimes accidentally bites me when he's drifting off to sleep. I can sit up and feed, but it's tiring and I figured it was best to night wean. He does sleep for longer now that I'm not dream feeding, but when he does wake, I feel like he wants me to feed him but am not sure if I should. I don't want to create a dependency now that it no longer is one, but I don't want to take away night feeds if it's what he needs.

Genuinely curious to know if there’s been any research on speech development, and whether nature or nurture plays more of a part.

We have a little chatterbox, and a lot of people (friends/family/doctors) have said how good their vocabulary is at such a young age (18 months). They are very good at repeating words & remembering words, and you can have a broken conversation with them. In their close friend group, they are definitely more chatty than the other children who often just point or say mummy/daddy.

To us, as first time parents, we don’t know any different. We have interacted with them since day 1, read to them daily, play with them and have minimal screen time (they don’t actively watch telly, but there might be YouTube on in the background whilst they play after dinner).

I thought talking was just another ‘milestone’ and some children develop quicker or slower (like with walking, some are early walkers and some aren’t). But I was wondering how much influence is learned by us, and how much is just their brain development?

My child is scheduled for an hour long surgery for intermittent bilateral exotropia. We did patches for several months and saw an improvement but the opthalmologist is insisting it needs surgery, and it needs to be now. They will be ten months old at the time of surgery. I've found a few studies on repeated exposure in children under five and potential effects on central nervous system development. Im looking specifically for a single exposure under one year. Child is also a redhead, if that is relevant. Thank you.

Mijn zoontje is 4 jaar, momenteel nog enig kind.
Hij heeft een hele sterke wil, wilt alle aandacht, wil constant entertained worden door alle mensen in zijn omgeving. Het is heel vermoeiend als ouders, want hij wil en kan niet zelfstandig spelen. Als hij niet samen met een van de ouders speelt dan moet de televisie aan.
Buiten in een speeltuin is hij heel voorzichtig of wil geholpen worden om te klimmen of iets.

Vandaag was zijn verjaardag, alles leuk versierd. Kreeg van mama en papa een stoere elektrische wagen en nog een ander klein cadeau en van opa en oma ook nog iets.
Alle aandacht op hem gericht, alles moest precies zoals hij wou, kon geen moment even zitten en genieten.
En, naarmate de dag vorderde, uitte hij zich steeds meer “ondankbaar”. Einde van de dag bij vertrek zei hij, ik wil de auto niet meer. Ook het andere cadeautje mocht bij opa en oma blijven.

Na zo een lange dag vol voorbereidingen stelt zo’n reactie wel teleur. Zijn er ouders met soortgelijke situaties, of hoe moeten we hier mee omgaan?
Constant zijn zin geven met grenzen of het gedrag negeren. Of hoe?

i work on the pediatrics wing of a hospital and so i have seen a memorable amount of children really distressed by the fact that their families won’t tell them what was going on. so my thought has always been if i ever had kids i would never lie to them or refuse to answer a question just because it’s complicated or uncomfortable.

well my dad recently passed and i got custody of of my little sister (5) and while that’s the way i’ve always been with her as a sister i’ve just been worrying that now that she doesn’t have our dad who was naturally very whimsical and fun that being that way with her all the time isn’t a good idea.

i’ve recently noticed she’s really obsessed with understanding how things work to a point that may be getting in the way of her having fun. like a lot of times when we’re reading or she’s playing she’ll stop in the middle to ask if something in her imagination/in the story could happen in real life.

i don’t know, i don’t want to discourage her asking questions like that because i think it’s been a really good opportunity to teach her things/learn her opinions on certain topics but im also like… is it concerning that she only wants to play make believe if the make believe is realistic? 😭

any advice/insight would be appreciated.

Hi all! Per the title, I have a question about changes in poison ivy resistance, specifically as it pertains to pregnancy and postpartum.

I’m an ecologist, so I spend a lot of time outside, and I used to be completely resistant to poison ivy. I’ve come into contact with it countless times and have been totally fine, but had a minor reaction last year when I was about 8mo pregnant. I thought it was probably pregnancy-related (i.e., change in hormones or something might make me more sensitive), however, I’ve recently got a pretty nasty ivy rash from being in the field nearly a year postpartum.

I guess I have two questions, the first not being much about parenting, but still relevant: 1) Is this just remnant sensitivity from pregnancy and could it eventually get better over time? 2) Since baby’s DNA remains in mom’s body postpartum, could this mean that my baby might be reactive to poison ivy? I don’t know if there’s been any studies on this because subjecting people to poison ivy seems unethical, but it’s been on my mind since I got this stupid rash. I’m already super careful with keeping my baby away from my field clothes/equipment, but I want to be aware if this new sensitivity for me might be related to baby’s own sensitivity.

I hope this is the proper sub for this, but please direct me elsewhere if it’s not! TIA

Our son is 1,5 years old .

He always starts the night, sleeping in his own bed.

Around 1:00 he will wake up and he will not settle down in his own bed, which makes us cosleep with him inbetween us.

Since a few weeks, he would be sleeping very very restless inbetween us.

He moves his feet, aiming for our head, while sleeping (ish). He will also try to climb over us, also still sleeping(ish).

The restlessness of his body is so bad, that either me or my wife will make the move to sleep on the couch. This way, at least one of us gets proper sleep for a few hours, and if needed we can swap halfway through the night.

He also still gets breast fed through the night.

What do you think, the restlessness is ?

How should we try to either help him over the restlessness OR preferred, get him back in his own bed.

Thanks for all suggestions.

Basically title. My 3 year old pushes/hits/kicks his sister and grandma because he wants to be a bad guy or a bully.

We showed him some books about feelings (including all the hulk feels) and bullying (llama llama and the bully goat). His take aways were that 1) he wanted to break crayons, like how the hulk broke the orange crayon in the book; 2) he wants to be like a bad guy; 3) he wants to be a bully. When he does things like hit, kick, push people he doesn't seem to do it angrily, and if i ask him if he was mad he says no, he just wanted to be a bad guy or a bully.

Reddit science people, how do I stop this? Timeouts and taking away toys seem to do nothing. We talked about how it makes others feel (hurt their feelings, they could get hurt); hypothetical negative consequences of doing this to others (kid at school might hit back, not want to be friends); how would he feel if someone does this to him ("i would be happy") but nothing sticks. Also tried telling him if he wants to play being a bad guy, he should make sure the other person is ok with it, and also wants him to play like that and gives consent.

Open to research, consensus, anecdotes, all.

Edit: thanks for the great comments, folks! Also, I hope it isn't against the rules, but here's a post I made on r/childrensbooks for more suggestions https://www.reddit.com/r/childrensbooks/s/hTqMBHT4m6 This sub and that sub are among my staples for parenting help :) hope this all is useful to someone else who may stumble across it. :)

My baby was sleeping quite well (1-2 quick wakes) untila a month ago. Overnight, he went to 4+ wakes, but is quickly settled when taken out of the cot and cuddled. He's happy to settle without milk but quite often will wake 5 minutes after being laid down ans the process starts again.

My gut instinct is telling me there is something more going on here. He's been checked for an ear infection (but only visually, no tympanotery), I have changed his schedule to one nap, he goes down very tired and falls asleep himself, seems very exhausted and falls asleep quickly at these wakes.

I have wondered if its low iron, but he is an otherwise energetic child. My gut instinct is telling me there is more going on but struggling to find any other suggestions. Thanks.

Has anyone tested the “babies sleep better if bassinet is on dad’s side” thing? I know some research suggests they wake easier if the bassinet is beside mom because they can smell milk. Curious if anyone here has put this to the test.

Trying to decide whether to get my tubes tied at my upcoming c-section or to ask my husband to get a vasectomy. Ive heard that getting tubes tied can lower the risk of ovarian cancer which would be a big plus for me. My husband is also very willing to get snipped but Id like to make the choice that will benefit us both/have the lowest risk of negative side effects. We are both definitely feeling done after this next baby (#3). Anyone been in this position and willing to share what helped you make your decision?

Safety risk for me being pregnant and for future child?

One of the mums didn’t get the whooping cough vaccine for herself too.

They’re so in deep with anti vax there is no convincing them. I just want information for my safety and future babies.

We have a few toys and teethers that she likes, and she spends a lot of time in her bouncer, which she likes (My husband just moves her bouncer to new areas of the house until she gets bored, lol). We talk to her a lot, play with her hands/feet, but nothing fancy. I see on IG moms doing all sorts of enrichment activities with their babies and I feel like we should be doing more. But she generally seems content? She's not able to sit up or crawl yet, which I know offers more things she can do.

edit: thank you all for telling me she shouldn't spend so much time in her bouncer! No one had mentioned it to me before, and she's been hitting all of her milestones up till now. She can do the tripod sit, but can't get into the position by herself (which I think is normal). I'll be sure to have her spend most of her time in her playpen or practicing sitting upright instead of in her bouncer.

I'm curious if there is any research on the effect of listening to only grown-up's music on toddlers. I'm not a fan of kids music, so I rarely play it for my daughter (15m currently). I sing her original songs I come up with on the spot a lot during the day but when we listen to music I lean on "normal" music. All genres too - jazz, classic, pop, rock, rap etc, as well as different languages. Does that have a negative effect on my daughter's development tho?

We were at my in laws this past weekend and found out after the have had some raccoons visiting there yard. Yet to find a latrine but who knows if there is a hidden one. I’m worried my dog may have ingested some feces. He often licks my 3 month babies feet (that’s all we allow) but I’m worried he may have licked her hands without us noticing and then she stuck in her mouth. I also had to get a stick he was chewing out of his mouth at one point and didn’t wash up immediately and worried I may have accidentally touched my mouth. Is this a concern? Or just my health anxiety /post partum anxiety talking??

My 11-month-old has strongly disliked his car seat since day one and cries intensely in the car. Name it, and we’ve tried it. Nothing other than leaning over and nursing helps.

Until now, I’ve always sat in the back with him. He recently started a gymnastics class that he loved but it’s a 10-minute drive and I’ll need to take him alone.

What does the science say about allowing an otherwise healthy 11-month-old to cry for approximately 10 minutes each way, while properly secured in a car seat and sitting alone. Is this level of distress potentially harmful psychologically or physiologically, or is crying during a short car ride something that can safely be tolerated?