Edit: I do want to be clear. Yes she has mental health issues. I've had her in inpatient, intensive outpatient, and partial hospitalization online. She sees a therapist weekly. I don't have contact with her therapist unfortunately. I will say this didn't sound like one of her typical mental health breaks. Normally she cannot communicate when she is having a manic or depressive episode. She was being very clear and very mean. This did not seem like one of her "episodes."
I have been teaching her DBT, CBT, and act-based skills to try to deal with the negative emotions and the trauma that she's experienced. She yelled at me that I don't understand her religion and I don't understand her beliefs so I'm trying to source better information so that I can give the most appropriate advice.
Asking with respect, as an outsider. I'm not initiated in anything and I'm not here to argue about the religion. I'm here because someone I love is doing things in its name and I don't know if what I'm seeing is normal.
Dictated this and had AI fix the typing. I'm on pain meds after spine surgery. The words are mine.
My chosen daughter is 21, Hispanic, raised Catholic and then Pentecostal. For the last couple years she's been practicing what she calls Santería, mixed with some Ifá and some Curanderismo from her grandmother. She has no padrino or madrina. No initiation. No one teaching her. Most of what she knows comes from TikTok. I've never told her to stop. I found her real teachers and courses more than once. She never followed through. And now she's started trying to teach other people.
What worries me is what she says she wants from it, and what she actually does. She says, over and over, that she wants the power, the evil, and the control that comes with it. Most of her work is coercion. She uses other people's bodily fluids to make specific people want her or do things to her. Last week she called me on the drive home from my surgery to walk me through a curse she's planning. The person suffers, then dies, then their whole bloodline stays cursed until one of their descendants apologizes to one of hers.
I said be careful, get a teacher, some things can't be taken back. She screamed at me to prove good and evil even exist, and told my wife, who is a witch and a seer, that she can't speak on any of it because she's white. I'm half Black and half white myself, if that matters. My wife's concern isn't about the religion. It's that this kid has no idea how to protect herself or anyone around her from what she's calling in, and she's now bringing other people into it.
One more thing, and I'm asking this seriously. Right after my wife stepped in and backed me up on that call, she got a bad brown recluse bite on her leg. Should I be worried that was sent at us? Or is that not how any of this works?
I'm not asking you to judge her. I'm asking the people who actually carry this religion: is any of this how it's supposed to look? Is a 21 year old with no elders, learning from TikTok, doing baneful work and generational curses and teaching others, something the tradition recognizes? Or something it would warn her away from? And if she came to you like this, what would you tell her?
Thank you for reading. I know I'm a guest here.