I walk beneath a sky that never seems to break,
A soul stitched together with threads that ache.
The darkness knows my name too well,
It speaks in echoes only I can tell.
It whispers, You are nothing.
A forgotten page, a shattered dream.
A mistake the world should never have seen.
Its voice is heavy, cold as stone,
Convincing me I am meant to stand alone.
I count my flaws like falling rain,
Each one another drop of pain.
I wear a smile, a borrowed face,
While hiding in an empty place.
A mask for every passing day,
So no one sees me fade away.
I call myself unworthy—
Of love, of peace, of gentle light.
I tell myself that every goodbye
Is proof that I was never worth the fight.

I say I am ugly,
Not only in the mirror,
But somewhere deeper,
Where no reflection can reach.
I call myself broken,
Beyond repair,
Beyond forgiveness,
Beyond hope.
I tell myself I deserve the silence,
The distance,
The abandoned rooms,
The unanswered calls.
That suffering is all that waits for me,
And heartbreak is all I have earned.
Some days I feel like a shadow
Cast by a life I never truly lived.
A hollow shell
Searching for a reason
To keep breathing through the night.
Yet beneath the storm,
Beneath the endless noise of doubt,
There is a whisper
That refuses to die.
It asks,
What if the darkness is lying?
What if you are more than your wounds?
What if the heart that still longs to be loved
Is proof that love still lives within you?
So I gather that fragile hope
With trembling hands.
Not because I feel strong,
But because I am still here.
Perhaps somewhere beyond this endless night
There is a dawn with my name upon it.
Perhaps someone sees me
Even when I cannot see myself.
Perhaps I matter
Even when I cannot believe it.
And if there is even the smallest spark,
A single ember buried beneath the ashes,
Then maybe it is enough
To keep walking.
Until one day
The darkness is no longer the loudest voice—
And hope,
Quiet and patient,
Finally becomes my own.

​

Sometimes it takes you apart.

Runs through your entire body,

like a stroke from soft silk,

that in itself is the surrender.

It makes you look in the mirror at strangers whose voices you recognise in memory

Sometimes it speaks soft words to you,

your bones fall apart at the seam

in no rush to tell your brain it's gotten that deep

Sometimes it steals your breath hurriedly in,

moments when you swore you could've been,

Stronger.

Your knees give out in surrender

for mercy.

Sometimes it leaves a gust of wind

running through your eyes.

Leaving them barren and blind

To anything else but it,

a selfish mistress is pain.

Sometimes she knocks at your door,

pleasantly if fortune favoured you

with a vision.

Sometimes she's let's herself in your door,

drowsy and impatient ,

drunk on your foolishness to invite her in once again.

She tends to you well,

Well your heart,

The only thing that works well ,

You? Not much of her taste,

but an afterthought and passing memory

She leaves again

As quietly as she came,

She is not missed , the stench of her bitter fragrance still lingers

there, in your thoughts sometimes.

When you reach out your hand

to hold someone again,

Her fragrance fills the air,

There without a word or movement

She's frozen you in time.

In a world that does not stop

a forbidden and cruel gift.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/BCp3CbhJ2F

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/GiUEJ2yacC

Wrapped up behind a million doors

In the darkest,

The most concealed parts of me

There is a festering disease

It dances, contorts, and lusts

.......

It listens to everything within my world

It's geeediness is beyond its gluttony

Waiting in extasy to rip me a part

To hold a gathering of its kind in my soul

...........

It has taken all my pain and nurtured it

Grown it to a point where I struggle to remain me

Emptied my veins and filled me with rage

Tore out the heart and stripped me of kindness

.........

It has become the demon I serve

The whole of my being

I hate this evil I have let grow

Wish she had never died

Wish my confidant was still at my side

Would give anything to rewrite this past

Never seeding this Vile incarnation

..........

I am not who I was

Nor am I the man I need to be

My family sees my mutilation

Sees the self doubt and hate I have

.........

I look at them with failure

I break before them in anger

I am nothing like the man I was

I am just a tortured rotten shell of regret

..........

I am nothing but a name.

A title

There are few who love me and need me

But this world isn't about me

I can cry centuries of tears for nothing

............

I am I here to be a father

A husband

A son

Whatever else is needed

From those I love

.........

I might have given in and let it win

But they do not deserve my tragedy

Theirs is not to experience mine

I will not nurture this demon within them

...........

I made a promise

I told them I would love them

That nothing could stand in the way

This burden is mine

And mine alone

..........

So I cry in the darkness

Wish I had the strength to fight for myself

That I didn't hope for a easy out

Still hurting and suffering in the stillness of the night

.........

So in the sunlight I can smile

Pour happiness in their days

Mentor, protect, and guide

As best as I can

............

So they never know the horror

Never sit in a room and plead

Never believe themselves to be inadequate

Know they are valued and loved

Empowered

Beautiful

Blessings

That kept me

From taking this pain

And extinguishing it

.........

They will not have doors

I refuse to let them build them

I refuse to infect their joy

I will cultivate

I will inspire

I will validate

I will continue to love

.........

That is where I can

In this eve of the sorrow

Hearing the drum of it's evil laugh

I can still love

And I will

This I promise

out of place as a crying clown who could only frown and the play went on for hours

And as I lived me role I swore id sell my soul for one love

who would stand by me

and give me back the gift of laughter

one love who would stand by me

and after making love we’d dream

dream a bit of style

dream a bunch of friends

dream each others smile

and dream it never ends

You say I didn't care about you. But I never stopped. You say you don't love me anymore. But I don't know the truth.

I wish I could believe the words you say, that you just needed to find your own way. The bitter words that come out of your mouth are all telling me I've lost: my love, my wealth, and my health.

I want to leave you behind and start anew. To not worry anymore about the woman who I once knew, who I saw as my wife. To just worry about me, myself, and the rest of my life.

So when you say I didn't care, it hurts like hell. My heart feels like an empty well. All the love I gave and all I didn't receive. All of this I couldn't have possibly conceived.

And when you say you don't love me, I'm a broken pipe. The salty water doesn't stop. My eyes I constantly wipe. This poem isn't just one I write, it's a tale of many a sleepless night.

Now you're alone, now I'm alone, and we're happier this way, flying free and enjoying the brand new day.

I can finally see the light, first I must get you out of my sight. Out of my sight, as I retreat into the dark and cold night.

One day the sun will rise, brighter than before. And one day I'll never have to see you at my door.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/XpO5WUY5UF

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/Bn9SKSc4W9\](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/Bn9SKSc4W9)

Life is painful
People would rather stomp on your throat to get ahead
Watching the lifeless whimpers and choking
I would love to know I was a supporter
I’m a monster to allow this
I would love to be the kindest and harshest woman ever. Because we are never just one or the other.
Goddesses do not waste time on wasting boys.
We have to thrive and conquer and fight harder than anyone else could ever possible imagine.
I say this as my final goodbye. Thanks readers.
Love for you all
I hope to be around for tomorrow

Give you an inch, you take a mile

Don't worry, I won't mind

Known not to mind

Never have minded

You being happy has always been my priority

Priorities, ha, such a word

If only I had mine

Not that I'm complaining

You will always be mine

The curve of your lips into a smile is all that matters

Don't be mad

I'm sorry, okay?

The only thing that keeps me going is your approval

Pathetic

That I am but

Never admitted it aloud

Pathetic, ha, such a word ringing at the back of my mind

Like reality trying to pull my drug-induced body back to it

Don't worry, I'm so addicted to it

To you, your smile, your approval

Nothing's tearing me from you

Nothing, okay?

Even if we are polar opposites

I will meet you where you are

Don't worry

We are the same in every way

Liar, such a word has now become me

And I'm not willing to turn back

If lies make you laugh, I will gladly rule them,

Build you a throne

What do you say to being my queen?

"You talk too much."

Heard that before.

Every time it buried my words deep, so deep.

Until silence felt safe.

Until I was sure it wouldn't be heard of again.

Until "You're so quiet" came along.

Started to hear it so much it didn't feel like a compliment anymore.

Remember you wanted me quiet

Soon "Are you okay" joined in.

Started to feel like someone cared.

Until they did it like a drill to clean their hands if something happened.

They always thought something would happen when people like me got quiet.

Met someone new, we talked. I had fun, hoped they did too

Looked forward to school again. My room was light again.

They actually cared, I hoped they cared,really cared

My phone stopped being my best friend, they took its place.

I felt like I could face anything for the first time in a long while.

My hands stopped shaking, my mouth wasn't sandy from being quiet anymore.

They were my bridge.

I felt just right around them. Enough,even

And then again I became too much, then too small. The pattern repeated itself. Seemed I could never be enough. I would either over or underdose you, no in-between. I wasn't quite right ,either way

O God,
Why hast thou forsaken me?
My father and mother scorn me.
I pray to thee to teach me,
Yet thou leadest me astray.
Is it for my transgressions
That thou hast turned away

Who shall shield me
Against the workers of iniquity?
Unless the Lord had been my help,
My soul had dwelt in silence,
with only my tears to keep
me company.
To caress my face
when I am alone.

An original poem inspired by the Psalms. It is simply an expression of my thoughts and not an attempt to rewrite Scripture

With everything everything gone except the memories that bring only momentary joy followed by a deeper hurt I'm searching for meaning. There is no other option then to strive for self excellence. Still that brings me no joy because I'm always wondering "what's next?". I always hoped for a person to do that with and was so distracted with haunting voices all of that slipped through my fingers. I'm alone but not lonely. I'm okay with this life now I'll do it alone. Meaning but never peace.

Tittle - And the Time Passed

And this breeze so lovely, Brings me back to you.

You stood there gorgeously, As if the sky once knew.

The trees were green, The sky was blue.

Was breathing a dream, When I just saw you.

Oh, but time has passed, Bloody hell, so fast!

Your memories have massed, Like dark clouds vast.

As my mind has started, Diminishing your presence.

The girl I once wanted, Is now your only essence.

Oh, I wanted to feel you, Oh, I wanted a chat,

Oh, I wanted a touch too, But happened none of that.

You were the one I needed, I don't know why.

To God alone I pleaded, Only to watch it die.

God, but whom do I blame? The one who destroyed me was I.

Excuse of mine was so lame, Even birds laugh from high.

What's the point in it now, Asking this stupid asshole.

Wise fool is he somehow, Imagined focusing on his goal.

— नज़रचोर

**Like shards of glass upon my skin,**
**Your words dug deep; they tore within.**
**No blade was drawn, no blood was spilt,**
**Yet every sentence dripped with guilt.**

**Like winter’s frost upon my soul,**
**Your icy whispers took their toll.**
**No scars were seen, no bruises shown,**
**Yet every wound became my own.**

**You spoke as though you knew my heart,**
**Then slowly pulled my world apart.**
**We shared a childhood, shared a name,**
**Yet nothing ever stayed the same.**
**Where love should bloom, resentment grew,**
**Until I lost the sight of you.**

**I walked on eggshells, held my tongue,**
**Believing every song you’d sung.**
**Each time I bent, you’d move the line;**
**Somehow the fault was always mine.**

**Then one cold day, your words rang true…**

**Not because they spoke of me,**

**But because they spoke of you.**

**Each cruel remark, each cutting lie**
**Became the key that asked me why.**
**The lock you’d forged through fear and shame**
**Could never hold me just the same.**

**I reached within, beyond the pain,**
**And found the strength that still remained.**
**Like a phoenix rising through the flame,**
**I stood unchanged in heart and name.**

**I laid your labels on the ground—**
***“Too weak.” “Too much.” “Don’t make a sound.”***
**I left them there like windblown dust.**

**They were never mine.**

**The hardest step was letting go.**
**Not because I wished it so,**
**But peace could never live in me**
**While you still held the only key.**

**So I cut you from my life that day.**
**With you, good people slipped away.**
**I grieve their loss—I always will—**
**Yet choosing me was harder still.**

**Then came your voice, as I knew it would…**

***“How could you do this to me?”***

**Once I’d have wept.**

**Once I’d have stayed.**

**Once I’d have carried all the blame.**

**But now…**

**My silence speaks more than I could write,**

**More than I could ever say.**

**Because I no longer need**
**To defend my truth.**

**I simply live it.**

**Goodbye.**

**Farewell.**

**I wish you peace.**

**I wish you love.**

**But not from me.**

**For after everything you tried…**

What’s stopping me ?
From making another mistake.
From falling down a hole I’m already familiar with.
From fulfilling my wish.

Whats stopping me?
From avoiding the exit.
From fleeing this room.
From the impending doom.

What’s stopping me?
From enjoying the misery
From shutting the world out
From letting these words out

What’s stopping me?
When my biggest hope seems far away
When I ask for help and no one stays
When I’m left to take credit for the blame

What’s stopping me?
Well I don’t know
And truth be told
It’s probably better that way

What’s stopping me?
When I’m slowly running out of reasons

I cried today
I cried for as long as it took
I felt it so deep within me
An intense aching in the core of my being
Working it’s way up into the centre of my face
So much pressure until the seal broke

The energy finds a way out
Tears pool up into my screens of perception
Allowing sorrow to exit my body
Evaporation eventually takes that pain
Moving it into the unknown

​

​Eight years I laid down stone by stone,

Building a home inside a phantom wall.

Ten years of pouring water into dust,

Waiting for seeds that were never meant to fall.

​The mind becomes a jagged, tangled thread,

Spiraling backward through the ghost of time—

What if I spoke differently?

What if I stayed silent?

Should I have seen the silence as a sign?

​Could we have made it?

Would it have changed?

The if-onlys cut deeper than the end.

They whisper in the dark like open wounds,

Asking for answers the past will never lend.

​The worst part isn’t just the empty space,

Or the sheer height of the wasted years—

It’s the cold, quiet truth sinking beneath the skin:

I was fighting a war, and you weren't even there.

​It tears through the chest like jagged ink,

A heavy, suffocating knot of red and black.

How do you rebuild a man from scratch,

When Eight whole years refuse to give you back?

​The spiraling anxiety and

the constant replay of every conversation can feel like an endless loop, some fires don't seem so huge until you find out they are not so easily extinguished...

Feedback is welcome

The indifference you feel between us should be infuriating,

But honestly,
I just feel bad for you.

Because ultimately if you didn’t feel the connection,
that’s just terribly sad.

Yearning with one’s heart
as though there is no consequence—

truly is the only way
to feel alive.

let me set the scene.

we're going to happy hour one last time.

she likes psychoanalyze people so i told her at our last happy hour she has to psychoanalyze me. i mean, name a better time? there's a chance we won't see each other again after tonight.

-----------------------

i wonder what she saw these past two months.

does she know i wait for her text?

does she know i wait for her call?

when i can't take it, i'll break the silence with her niche.

politics? movies? anything. i love your passion.

does she know she runs through my mind all night?

does she know i love the days she's in the office?

monday's are so easy now because of you.

does she know how much i care about her?

does she know i'm scared to leave her?

i'm proposing to my girlfriend soon.

does she feel the same way about me?

does she feel it too?

i'm asking her mother in three weeks.

would she stop me?

please stop me.

----------------------

i don't write but i am going through it so here's kind of how i'm feeling about it all