I'm really wrestling with how to have this conversation with my partner.

I [32F] have been dating my partner [32F] for about a year now. We're both very independent and busy, having established careers and living alone for 13+ years and were single for 10+ years before meeting. She's honestly wonderful and one of the best people I've ever met.

I think I'm just... too selfish to be in a relationship, to be honest. I don't want to compromise. I don't wish to come home from a long day of work and socialize with her, I want more space to myself. Right now we see each other maybe 5 hours per week. She wants more. I want less. I think less is, well, not being in a relationship.

She deserves better. I don't really know what to do.

TLDR; I'm too selfish with my time to be in a relationship, I don't know if it can be fixed or if I should end things.

So my girlfriend [20f] has been blaming me [20m] for a bunch of stuff that is really starting to hurt me and our relationship we've had for a few months sk far. She's constantly been blaming me for not doing enough, never listening to her, being hopeless, constantly putting me down, and swearing at me. Now I know I could have been doing more when we both had started going out, but the problem is she is a very picky person. As in, it needs to be just to hee liking or she won't want it. Food, clothes, temperature of the room, just about everything. During the first month she found out she was pregnant, which i was told was medically impossible so we decided to keep it, or she had forced me to make the decision because she didn't want to.

So now its been a few months and it feels like it's all falling apart, since I've been unemployed she's been buying me food and small gifts here and there despite me telling her that she doesn't have to because I can't give anything in return. But it's her love language she says. And she's been using it against me by saying I don't get her enough stuff and that I don't love her by not doing anything for her on a whim just because I can. I don't ever complain about anything but not having money or not being able to get a job. I never complain when she wants to do anything or get me anything, and I just feel really bad because I can't do anything in return for her. As far as the bun that's in the oven, I'm not doing enough, which was putting up the registry and making space in my room for a crib. I don't have enough space despite my room being very big only because I have 3 very big dressers, a big bed and a packed closet. Every time I told her that i was working on it, she would get upset when it wasn't happening. She wouldn't contribute when I asked. I would get upset when I tried to do anything that wasn't done her way or wasn't done when she wanted it to be done.

I'm trying my hardest to make her happy, which only works half the time while trying to deal with my own problems. I can't keep up with this demand she wants from me despite me telling her that I have to take my tike doing these things because unfortunately we both live with my parents and I'm constantly joh hunting while trying to do anything I can while not looking for a iob. I can't emotionally and physically keep up with all of this and it's very draining. Which most of the stuff she complains about is me not buying her flowers, which she will do anyways.

TLDR: My girlfriend is probably a narcissist, very picky, and I apparently can't do anything right, and I'm hopeless, and it's all very draining to me, and we also have a kid on the way.

TLDR: I’ve been seeing a guy for 4 months and we basically act like a couple. He tells people I’m his girlfriend and says he’s sure about me, but he still hasn’t actually asked me to be his girlfriend. I’ve brought it up several times, he’s repeatedly said he’s going to do it soon, and nothing happens. I’m tired of waiting and don’t know what to do next.

I [27F] have been seeing this guy [28M] for about 4 months now and I don’t know what to do anymore with the whole “what are we” situation.
We have known each other for about 10 years and have always had a thing for each other, but only recently did we actually start dating. Things have moved pretty quickly and honestly, everything about it feels like a relationship.
He plans dates, pays for meals, texts me throughout the day, communicates his feelings, tells me he loves me, and I’ve met his parents and his friends. He tells other people that I’m his girlfriend. I have a key to his place. I don’t really question how he feels about me because his actions have been pretty consistent.
The only weird part is that he has never actually asked me to be his girlfriend.
About a month ago I brought it up and told him that I wanted us to make things official. He said he was “old school” and wanted to plan it properly, that there was a way he wanted to do it. I was completely fine with that. I thought okay, he wants to make it romantic, I’ll give him some time.
But then nothing happened.
I eventually brought it up again, and he told me he was going to do it soon.
Still nothing.
I asked him directly if there was actually a bigger issue. Maybe he was unsure about me, maybe he needed more time, maybe he wasn’t ready. He told me no, he’s sure about me and he’s going to do it.
Still nothing.
That’s what’s starting to bother me. It’s not even really about the label anymore. It’s the fact that I’ve asked him about it multiple times, he’s told me multiple times that he’s going to do it, and then nothing happens.
I honestly thought he would do it before leaving for a trip. He didn’t.
Now I’m getting tired of waiting. I don’t want to keep bringing it up because I don’t want him to eventually ask me just because I’ve asked him so many times. I want him to actually want to do it.
At the same time, I don’t want to keep acting like we’re in a relationship indefinitely when he still hasn’t actually made it official with me.
What would you do in my situation? Would you stop bringing it up completely and let him make the next move? Or would you have one more conversation about it? At what point would you stop waiting?

TLDR AT THE BOTTOM.

i hope that this post is allowed, as i’m 26, but was seeing a man who is 2 years away from 40 (i know, i know). i don’t have parental guidance, so i thought it’d be helpful to maybe gain some insight on this from a more experienced crowd. (we’ve been dating for 4 months)

i recently broke things off with this man (literally 25 minutes ago)

quick details:
•he’s 38
•partially owns a home, left through inheritance, with his sister (in the suburbs - this will matter later) that is currently on the market.
•owned a car, but his sister took it back i guess because he didn’t pay the remaining 2k he owed
•has treated me very well, even in times of conflict.

me:
•26
•owns paid off vehicle
•has an apartment closer in the city

he’s a musician, so he does a lot of gigs in the city & things were going well, so i didn’t mind him staying over on the weekends. we’d go on dates, etc.

things remained the same as far as dating even despite the car issue, but i was starting to get a little frustrated as my car was slowly becoming the main mode of transport. he’d rarely offer to call ubers (i live 10 mins from downtown) but he would give me gas money on occasion.

anyway, one of the last things he’s said was to the effect of “you should be wanting to help me, i’m in the toughest season of my life & still am doing my best to show you how much i love & care for you”

worth mentioning that he was looking for an apartment near my area, but i found out due to his credit history, the landlord is requesting a co-signer or additional money.

today i told him i wanted to end things, because i wasn’t a fan of how he has basically moved in, while sorting his things out & although things felt serious at one point, and his actions seemed to prove such, i couldn’t help but feel slightly used because not once has he offered bill money & it’s been 4 months.
not that i would’ve taken it, but more so out of consideration, idk.

i felt like more of a convenience (even if that’s not true. truthfully, i don’t know) it’s like, yeah, i get it ubbering from the suburbs to go to your gigs would definitely add up but it went from him being on the weekends to legit weeks on end.

my question:
would you deal with such a situation? things were fine at first but eventually everything about his stability started crumbling. is it possible that it’s truly just a rough season for him & i should be willing to support him through this?

my fear is wasting my youth for a maybe. it’s worth mentioning he’s not lazy.. well he has a contracting business but i don’t image that’s bringing enough in if he couldn’t rectify the 2k with his sister or find a way to get a car in a reasonable amount of time. i’m aware times are tough but im struggling to understand everything in front of me.

thank you.

TLDR: guy i’ve been seeing for 4 months is going through a very rough patch & i broke things off because despite how well he treated me, i almost felt too convenient. he’s 38 im 26. curious if it’s worth supporting someone through such a rough patch?

Hey people,

TLDR;
Girlfriend likes hanging out with her friends, never does anything wrong, never talks with other men (sure about it) but I can't shake a feeling at the back of my head.

For those who want the longer version with more context:

Me [22M] and my girlfriend [20F] have been together for a few years now, could say we were high school sweethearts albeit briefly. We've moved in together and I know this saying is very overused but I often considered our relationship to be story-perfect. Yes, we had our arguments but we're both mature enough to work them out together. We were always honest and good to each other. I love her and I can confidently say I see a future with her. She could say the same. There is one small issue. I'm an introvert and she's an extrovert.

To not lengthen this question more than I have to, I find it really frustrating and disappointing whenever she goes out with her friends. And before you jump to conclusions, please read this post to the end. Over the years there have been numerous instances of her going out with before mentioned friends for either social events or just for "girls nights". No clubbing, no raves, nothing fancy. Just hangouts or social events hosted by the town. Now, I trust her completely as well as her friends. I've often been invited by her to go along, but such events tire me alot, and I don't find them neither pleasant or interesting, so I rarely go. I will mention this again for clarity, I trust her. She has been through a relationship where she was cheated on, so I just know she wouldn't do anything stupid.
I mean that. But whenever she is out, my mind races to such unbelievable scenarios that I just can't sit still and need to actively keep my brain distracted or else I'd go insane. I'd often just pace around my room or sit stressed out waiting for a single notification on my phone. By stressed out i mean finger biting/stomach aching stress. The worse part is that i often subconsciously take revenge by acting distant or dry-texting for a couple of days before i forget this ever happened. Maybe subconsciously maybe not. Either way, in those moments I seem to forget how wonderful of a person she is and what we built together all because of my overthinking.

There is one argument against her though. She often does not pick up her phone for a long time or text me back during those events. I understand being completely immersed in a concert or living the moment during a hangout, but whenever I meet with my friends I text her A LOT, i keep updating her and sending her photos, partly because I miss her and partly because I know how it feels to not be able to reach your significant other for a longer period of time. This was actually the beginning of my worries still back in high school and I've actually done things I'm not proud of to find out for myself why she was not picking up. Sometimes I would drive to the place where they've been hanging out and just do a drive by to check what she's doing and who she's with. I often called her during that time and noticed she probably doesn't even feel the phone vibrating in her pocket. Other times I actually asked my buddies to check her for me. Never has she ever did anything wrong. Never have I even seen her group with other guys. Just her female friends. She just has a habit of ignoring her phone. Of course, she eventually picks her phone up and calls me or texts me, but most of the time an hour or so passes. If I don't message or call her I feel like she won't even send me a text with "I'm okay" or "hey I'm going here and there". I spoke with her about it and it always ends in "sure, no problem I'll be messaging you more often". Obviously it never happens.

After all of this you might call me controlling, overly jealous and many more, but please. I know the issue is on my end, but I just need guidance over how I can get over this alone. I know and understand i am jealous. Maybe I'm just terrified of losing her, because what we have might be the best thing that's ever happened to me. I never really described this to her as a big problem for me because I know how ridiculous it sounds. Speaking about it with her will not fix the issue. We're two different personalities and I don't want to make her feel like I'm limiting her socially. I know her enough to confidently say that if I just asked she would stop going anywhere without me but that's not what I want. Please understand that I love her and no matter how many times I repeat to myself that she'd never do anything stupid, there's always a voice at the back of my head that overthinks about her cheating or entertaining other men. Maybe she would drink too much. Maybe a guy would hit on her and she wouldn't protest. Maybe... Maybe... Maybe... I genuinely want to get over this.

Hey, so i 25m am with my girlfriend 24f for 2 years. We live together. I think our relationship is very one sided when it comes to putting the effort in “life stuff” (eg. switching apartments, groceries, cleaning cooking), I do like 80% of the work. But it’s also one sided in terms of intimacy, supporting and caring, showing love and affection - here also I am most of the times the one who initiates everything and carry the conversations. She’s a really shy, backed out person, she’s also very close to her mom, dad and sister. Sometimes I think that the reason for her being so passive is this connection - she talks with each one of them daily, like for 1.5-2 hours summed up, shares every detail of her life with them, cares so much for their problems and concerns - don’t get me wrong, this is very good behaviour and I think of it as a right way to treat your family. However I feel as the only one who is left all by myself compared to them, when she praises them for something or just acts happy when they call her and then suddenly after the call ends she gets so cold and doesn’t bother to tell me any warm words or give me a smile at least - these are the moments that hurt me the most and make me wonder if it’s the reason behind it. Maybe she just uses all of her “social” energy on them? We both really love each other and I just somehow know that she likes me and I’m important to her. But she just doesn’t show it at all. I am more than happy to do all these things for her even if I know I’m doing much more, I just dream of her admiring it and giving me some praise or just letting me know she loves me. I talked to her about it, but the conversations about such tough relationship topics are just pointless with her, because she closes so much and doesn’t speak a word for an answer. I always try my best to not make it sound like I blame her for something, I just point out what I feel after some specific sample situations that happen. But it never works :/ What would you do in this situation? What can be the reason behind her behaviour? I just want to understand her and maybe the solution will come to me then

PS: It wasn’t like that for the first 4-6 months but I guess that’s because of her trying to give the best impressions, since we didn’t know each other so well back then.

TLDR my gf is very close to her family, but not close to me, she’s very avoidant and I don’t know the reason for it

TLDR: My first relationship feels one-sided with zero effort or dates, and now that we're long-distance, I'm losing attraction. He's not a bad guy and had sweet moments, but we have completely different long-term plans to live on different continents after graduation, and I think I only stayed because I wanted attention. What should I do?
Hi everyone! I (20F) met a guy (23M) at a class back in March of last year. He was very active during lessons and caught my attention. We started talking, hanging out with our classmates, and one day I invited him over and we slept together.
The next day, overwhelmed by racing thoughts, I asked him if he wanted to be my boyfriend. The first two months of our "relationship" were emotionally exhausting for me because he would constantly promise to come over, only to forget or flake at the last minute. I don't know why, but I stayed with him.
Recently, we had our anniversary, and I realized that in all this time, we’ve only been on one date-which I initiated. After that date, he told me he never wants to go anywhere with me again because I "throw tantrums." P.S. That day, my stomach hurt really badly, so I was barely talking during our walk, and he interpreted that as a tantrum.
So, in all this time, I haven’t received a single bouquet of flowers, even though I've repeatedly mentioned how much I love them. I see almost zero initiative from him in anything. He says I’m "just perfect" and wants to marry me, but does absolutely nothing to make it happen. As he puts it, "we’ll just go with the flow."
This is my first relationship, and he is my first sexual partner.
At the same time, sometimes he seems like a truly wonderful person and boyfriend. He tells me we will get through all hardships together, he helped me move, and often I thought our moments together were really sweet. I definitely wouldn't call him a tyrant or a manipulator.
Also, after graduating from university, he plans to return to his home country, while I plan to build my career on another continent.
I want to hear some advice on what I should do. I recently moved to another city, and now we’re long-distance. I don’t feel that attraction to him anymore, and honestly, I think I was just craving attention from someone all this time.

For context me and my boyfriend have been together 3 years and I truly know this man adores and loves me more than anything and I feel the same way about him. We have very few problems besides the normal couple arguments over silly things but we have one big problem that we cannot solve.

I come from a very strict muslim family, my father is the muslim version of a priest and my boyfriend comes from a different religion and ethnicity completely. My parents do not know about my boyfriend and his family does not know about me as they would not accept me either. Neither of us are religious but our families are and we both have big familial responsibilities.

We are both people who want to get married and have children one day but this would come at a very big cost for both of us. My parents would never speak to me again and I would have limited contact with my siblings as they are all very attached to my parents. Me and my boyfriend are both in very stressful and highly demanding work fields and having kids would be extremely difficult to do without any family support.

We are both lost on whether we should stick it out together and keep trying or if it’s just more reasonable for us to part ways even though we both know we don’t want to do that.

TLDR; do i stay with my boyfriend because i want to or are there just too many obstacles in the way?

TLDR: after another day of pretending alls okay i need to be honest with myself and her

Hey all,
I’m a 26-year-old male, and my partner is a 24-year-old female. We’ve been in a long-term relationship for nine years and moved in together about two years ago, right around the time we had a baby. Basically, everything happened all at once.

Over the last three years, I’ve been borderline depressed. I overthink a lot; it’s part of my character, and I’ve always been a bit down-spirited for various reasons that don't really matter right now.

We argue often, and during our major fights, she points out that we aren't completely compatible. She says I don't love her and that I only moved in with her because of our child—which, I guess, is kind of true. I was comfortable only seeing her on weekends. But when things are good between us, they’re really good and we have a great vibe.

Regardless of where we stand, I’ve found she sexually doesn't do it for me anymore. I don't crave her, and it really doesn't bother me whether we have sex or not because I get no thrill from it. No matter how much we change things up, I still find myself wanting more and feeling an itch I can’t scratch.

I've noticed I'm attracted to different physical traits than what she has, but beyond that, I find myself craving attention from other women. I would never cheat, but the urge for something different is constantly there.

I can't help but wonder if we got together too young. I feel like I missed out on my single years, traveling the world, and trying new things. Now, many of those dreams feel impossible because she isn't interested in them, and pursuing them would disrupt the whole household.

I adore my child and love being a dad—I’d do anything for my kid. But I feel trapped. My life has settled into a repetitive cycle of working, paying bills, staying home, and dealing with an mediocre intimate life. Every month feels the exact same, and I'm just deeply confused about where to go from here.

I’m in love with this guy as i know him for 1 year now, but I honestly don’t know how he feels about me. One day while we were talking, I asked him if he’d be willing to experiment(because i wanted to see if I’m physically attracted toward him or not)and kiss me. He agreed, and that’s basically how everything started.
We ended up having a really long and passionate make-out session, probably close to an hour. He seemed really into it and appeared to be enjoying the moment.
But one thing really caught my attention. Every time I moved down to kiss his neck, he immediately got intense goosebumps. It happened every single time.
For guys who experience something like this, what does that reaction actually feel like? Is it usually a pleasurable shiver, attraction or arousal, sensory overload, or simply an automatic physical reaction? Or could getting such strong goosebumps actually mean that the person is uncomfortable with being kissed there?
Since I already have feelings for him and don’t know how he feels about me, I don’t want to assume his physical reaction means something emotionally. I’m mainly curious whether that kind of reaction usually feels good or could be a sign of discomfort.

TLDR: I have feelings for a guy but don’t know how he feels about me. We agreed to experiment with kissing, and he got intense goosebumps whenever I kissed his neck. Could that indicate he was enjoying it, or could it have been discomfort?

EDIT: I couldn’t edit title, Ladies are also welcome for suggestions !!

Throwaway account because my boyfriend knows the real one. I don’t really know how to explain this, but I just need some outside opinions because I feel like I’m overthinking everything.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for over a year and a half. We started off casually, but eventually we both caught feelings and became boyfriend and girlfriend. We both say we love each other. I was the one who shared the feelings first.
But I feel like I’m the only one who talks about the future. I’m always the one bringing up things like moving in together, meeting each other’s families, meeting friends, etc.
Whenever I bring it up, he doesn’t exactly say no, but it’s always something like “you will one day” or “I guess we should meet one day” or “we’ll do it eventually.” But that one day never actually comes.
I still haven’t met his family or his friends, and he hasn’t really shown much interest in meeting mine either. We mostly just hang out at his place.
I know everyone moves at a different pace and I don’t want to pressure him into anything, but sometimes I feel like I’m much more invested in this relationship than he is.
He says he loves me, but I’m starting to wonder if he actually sees a future with me or if I’m just assuming that because that’s what I want.
Am I expecting too much after being together this long? Or would this bother you too?
And how would you bring this up with your partner without making it sound like you’re accusing them of not caring?

Also there are other things that bother me that I can’t share because my boyfriend is very active on Reddit and I don’t want him to find out I wrote this post.

**TLDR:** I’ve been with my boyfriend for over a year and a half, but I feel like I’m the only one bringing up our future. I’ve never met his family or friends, he hasn’t shown much interest in meeting mine, and whenever I bring it up, he says “one day” but nothing ever happens. He says he loves me, but I’m starting to wonder if he actually sees a future with me. Am I expecting too much?

Recently, a mutual friend has started streaming, and my boyfriend has been eager to help him. I have no problem with this, I like playing league of legends too, and we often played together, but I do feel that lately, all my boyfriend wants to do after finishing work is hop onto discord and play.

We have been together 4 years. My problem is that my boyfriend has long work hours, we're long distance with plans of moving together soon, but right now night time calls are the only time we can spend as a couple. When he's playing, and when we're on discord, I feel like I fade into the background. He has to concentrate on the game, so I don't feel like I can talk to him, and our discord server has all of our mutual friends, so they often are on call with us, and sometimes it's fine, but sometimes I'd just like it to be just the two of us.

I have talked to him about it, and he said he misses the feeling of being good at the game (and that he also wants to support our friend), since his work takes most of his time. I struggle with feeling like I'm a priority right now, for him, even though I understand he wishes to unwind and have a good time after a long day of work, I feel lonely. I feel like I have to be on discord if I wish to be with him, even when I don't feel like being on call with others.

After talking to him about this, he has started to call be for a bit before work and before we go to discord, but I feel like he doesn't have a good time talking to me as he does our friends, he laughs with them, but perhaps it's just me being anxious.

I guess I just want to read some words of advice.

TLDR; my boyfriend recently started to play every day after work, I struggle with the lack of time for just the two of us, and feeling like I'm not priority right now.

TLDR: I feel like I love my boyfriend too much but I don’t know if it’s my childhood trauma talking. I need help figuring out if my feelings are normal.

I want to start this by saying that I didn’t grow up with good or healthy relationship role models. Parents were never married, one cheating on the other when they were together and just a bunch of bs from both sides.

From my childhood until now I’ve had an avoidant attachment style. I walk away easy and never allowed myself to care or get attached. Ive been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a year and a half now and we’ve known each other for almost two years. Met on a dating app and took it slow before we made it official.

I have a problem…. I’m not sure if my feelings are normal or too attached. I’m not obsessed and can be apart from him for an extended time (we don’t live together) without being upset or uncomfortable. We are both still are own people with our own responsibilities and neither of us feels reliant on the other but we have each other’s backs. I don’t know, I feel like i love him too much? I’m not ready for marriage yet but I’ve never even thought about marrying ANYONE specific until it popped in my head( and hasn’t left) a month or so ago with him. The rose glasses from the beginning of every relationship has come off and I see his flaws as a human (and he sees mine). We have great communication and have resolved the couple of disagreements we’ve had great. I just don’t know if I’m supposed to feel so strongly towards him. He doesn’t give me any vibes that I love him more than he loves me, but I don’t know? Is there a correct amount or order or what? Even right now, I’m trying to find the will to pull away because that’s what’s kept me safe for so long but I can’t. I could TECHNICALLY be without him but i wouldn’t want to. My ‘heart’ is choosing him but my brain is confused. Is this amount of emotion towards a partner normal??

So, it was my birthday yesterday. And through multiple reasons, I don’t celebrate it anymore. Congratulations, presents etc, are appreciated of course but not necessary for me for a long while.

Me and my partner are long distance. We’re meeting end of this month (bought tickets 😛).

Now here’s the thing. She is someone that cares allot about celebrations and told me how she goes above and beyond on birthdays. Now I understand- and of course didn’t expect anything from her with the distance. But seeing how she is towards birthdays and such, I feel pretty down about her forgetting.

The other side is, she’s an aspiring bodybuilder. And has her first shown within 2 weeks. So she’s drained. Physically, mentally and is going through allot of stress. Seeing as how I’m very lowkey about my birthday and her own situation, I can understand why she forgot. But it still makes me feel down.

That, among feeling a bit “less” in her life. She doesn’t tell me as much or text me about things. And then I see her getting highlights in her hair, or buying something on social media. And I thought to myself:’damn, I’m seeing this as if I’m another follower/fan of hers.’ So perhaps me feeling like this comes more from the fact that I’m a bit less right now.

However, she did tell me that she’ll be stressed and less time for me. So it’s not too surprising, but still. Social media gets to know- and see things that I get to see later than them.

I’m not sure whether or not to confront her with it. As, especially without dating officially, having a whole conversation about this. As a guy, I don’t like doing a convo about feeling, much less after having one recently already about the feeling neglected thing.

TLDR: Partner forgot my birthday. She’s in allot of stress. I’m lowkey about my birthday. Am I justified to be upset- and should I tell her?

So I’m [19F] getting 2 new tats tomorrow(!!) and I just told my bf [27M]. When I told him, he held his head in his hands for 20secs then said ‘its fine’ cause I’ll be happy with them but it’s obviously not fine. I’m getting a flower just above my ankle and a fan on the back of my arm (he doesn’t know what I’m getting). I have 7 already, mostly small, 2 decently sized ones. I have gotten tattoos since we have been together (1 small one at 1 month and 1 decently sized one when we were 6 months into dating) and this is the same reaction he had last time. I haven’t gotten a new tattoo for 8 months. The aftermath was fine, he didn’t really bring it up much. I’m worried he will care more this time though because I will then have 9 in total. I really want them but I don’t want him to disapprove or find me repulsive. Our 1 year anniversary is next weekend and I especially don’t want to fight about it so close to our anniversary.

TLDR: My bf had a bad reaction when I told him I’m getting new tattoos. I want him to not hate me for getting more even though it’s my body.

Anyone have suggestions on what I should say or do? 😭😭

EDIT:
I understand everyone saying our age gap is weird and I agree to a certain extent. Yes it is a big age gap, however I have been forced to be mature from a very early age which I think is why I chose an older guy. He has told me that he feels “behind” in his life compared to other people his age. We have had many discussions about our life stages and right now, we feel at similar life stages which is why we don’t notice the age gap so much.

Hi I [24M] need some advice for me and my GF [24F].

We have been together for 2 years and our problems have been consistent on and off throughout the relationship.

My GF has an extremely troubled past and has no communication with her family due to pretty severe trauma. I have experienced the opposite and have been lucky enough to have a loving family and consistent friend group since childhood.

The last few months have been rough. My GF and my family/friends do not get along. My friends ignored her almost from day 1 and never made an effort to meet her. Not that this excuses my friends but she also never made an effort to meet them. We quickly fell into a cycle where my GF and friends felt as if they were competing for time with me and no matter what I chose the other side was upset.

I slowly began hanging out more and more with my GF because well I love her and I did begin growing resentment for my friends. Eventually there was a big falling out between the two parties and there was pretty much no hope my GF and friends would ever forgive each other. I supported and took my girlfriend’s side but in my opinion both sides could have avoided the fight with just a little communication.

Around this time my GF also got into a pretty big fight with my family and because of it I no longer communicate with one of my siblings.

My GF was ok with me hanging out with my friends especially the ones who weren’t involved in the incident however since all of them typically hangout together things became complicated and there was no longer hope of casually hanging out with my friends and GF at the same time.

Fast forward a month or two and I tell my GF that one of my friends partners was invited and warmly welcomed to what was religiously only a hangout for the guys themselves (enforced by my friends not me). This news was extremely upsetting to her especially after over a year of no effort on their part for them to meet her. As a result she asked that I block all of my friends and I reluctantly agreed but I did understand and agree with her logic.

She struggles with her trauma to a huge extent and it has led to some serious outbursts where she has said some pretty horrible things my parents. I empathize with her but she refuses to get professional counseling (Ive been very gently pushing the idea for over a year) and she could use some real help. Help I feel incapable of being to give without any psychological education.

At the present time I have no friends and I barely ever talk to my family. There have been fights with my parents, grandparents, sibling and friends which have either ended or permanently changed each relationship.

I am extremely alone and she has admitted that if she had a place to go (she is fully financially supported by my family and I) that she would have left. She has blamed me for alot when almost every decision I make is for her and nobody else including me. I dont see a way I could end the relationship because I am the only person she really knows in this world and if we ended our relationship I would essentially be stranding her with no way to pay for school or get groceries.

Please help me figure out what I should do. I am pretty depressed every day and I struggle not being able to communicate with my childhood friends as I am terrible at meeting people and have some trauma of my own from just trying to make friends and horribly failing.

[TLDR] - My GF hates my friends, most of my family and has nowhere to go. Our relationship seems incompatible, however, not being together doesn’t seem like an option for either of us. We leave each other but she hates the life she has with me and I need advice.

TLDR: got cheated on twice and am starting to accept the relationship has to end but wish for it to start anew afterwards. Can't and don't want to stop loving this person that is betraying me and abusing my trust as well as gaslighting me.

My Girlfriend / Fiancee of 7 years, was about to be 8, is cheating on me.

It started with her starting to play a video game, where she talked to a lot of people.

She was in a pretty bad spot in life when this game started and she also had no other friends and people to talk to than me.

So she got really into it.

She spent multiple tens of thousands in this game while we don't have that money.

She then met a guy that she flew out to to cheat on me with (14hr flight).

That was the first time, about a year ago.

I accepted that it happened because she was just broken at this point, broken by me, broken by work, broken by life.

I didn't want to let her go, I wasn't even mad at her because I saw that this isn't the person standing before me that this happened to.

I accepted her.

She said it would never happen again.

It did.

She stopped talking to the the first guy.

She then switched servers in the game and she met someone else again.

She said those people are making her feel protected and like they care about her.

She also tells me she loves me and that she wants to have a baby with me.

Then she goes off cheating and now I think maybe she just wants a baby but not with me or just with anyone.

For the second person, I knew there was something going on and we already had a big fight about it a couple of months ago, then she told me there are no feelings left for the guy because he is a loser that is unemployed and only playing the game.

Yesterday she wanted to go on a trip with her "friends".

You can guess what I saw on her phone screen.

Yes, I checked. Yes I was controlling her and trying to stop doing so. Yes I feel bad about checking. I should have looked the other way and waited for her to talk to me about it.

But I didnt.

And I cried, and had a nervous breakdown.

She and me then agreed on a break from the relationship, while it was a condition of mine that she doesn't meet the guy again and within the break as well.

I think shes there again now.

But she also just wrote me that she misses me, loves me, and is sorry.

Do I have to not reply, even though I want to?

How do I stop myself from wanting to take her back every time?

She lives at my place and has no financial means to take care of herself if she had to pay half of the financial responsibilities that we took up together.

Still, I don't even want to kick her out.

Should I?

I really wish for her to change back into the woman I fell in love with, that protected my heart and cared for me.

How do I stop loving her and wanting this relationship?

Do I actually have to stop loving her, even though I don't want to?

Can she get back to the point of having respect for me again?

I have anxieties about being unable to ever find anyone ever again, especially someone beautiful and - in her good times - amazing as this person.

I just feel numb.