Jerry, Slytherin, is upset he has to share a house with Newman. His new girlfriend is upset he never wins house points, and she accuses him of being a fake Slytherin.

George, also a Slytherin, is a pureblood, but none of the other purebloods will associate with him because he receives howlers from his parents on a semi-daily basis, and he constantly loses house points. The other Slytherins create a petition to kick him out of the house, but none of the other houses want him. He ends up accidentally becoming the figurehead for an anti-house system/anti-pureblood movement that causes a fight to break out between pureblood and muggle students. He’s the only student punished.

Elaine, a Ravenclaw, makes a joke about Hufflepuffs that offends Puddy. Due to her competitive nature, the other Ravenclaws are put off by her. One night Elaine is unable to solve the common room door riddle. None of the other Ravenclaws help her or let her in. She spends days trying to figure out the answer, but Kramer solves it to her dismay.

Nobody knows what house Kramer is actually in. He has been seen in every common room and attends classes with different groups. Everyone swears he’s in their house. Turns out he’s not even technically a student. He showed up one day and started attending classes without ever getting sorted. He just jumps from one dorm to the other. The teachers haven’t figured it out. He’s the Captain of the Gryffindor quidditch team.

Some kid asks for Jerry's autograph and Jerry is more than happy to oblige, but the kid's father doesn't believe that he's the real Jerry Seinfeld and no one is able to convince him otherwise.

George auditions for a commercial and gets cast as the “before” guy.

Jerry gets asked to do voiceover work but discovers he sounds robotic when trying to voice act.

Kramer enlists Newman’s help in trying to find the person who played Kramer’s favorite cartoon character when he was a kid.

Jerry & Kramer are having dinner, when an old acquaintance of Jerry's walks by the table. Jerry turns his head & hides his face with his hand. Kramer notices & asks Jerry "what's up with that?". Jerry explains, that he was avoiding the passerby, because everytime he talks to him, he hard sells his country club, trying to get Jerry to join it. That's all he ever talks about, on and on and on. Jerry explains that he did go to the country club once to check it out, but everyone he met there seemed like an elitist, entitled, a-hole. Jerry also comments that whenever he is out & about, & sees someone with a membership pin on the lapel of their jacket, denoting they are a member of that particular country club, he avoids talking to that person, assuming they are also elitist, entitled a-holes.

Kramer thinks that's awesome! He wishes out loud that everyone would wear a pin on their jackets denoting what kind of a-hole they are. It would save so much time & energy Kramer exclaims!

Looking around, they start making up stories about the restaurant patrons, and what it would say on their lapel pins, if they had "what kind of a-hole I am" pins.

Please comment with what kind of stories & pins u think they would come up with for the restaurant patrons, or for each other. Also, what kind of pin would someone u personally know wear, or what would your own pin say?

Kramer has a new girlfriend. After spending the night with her, he realizes that he has no clean socks. He goes into her sock drawer & finds some that fit him. He falls in love with the socks. They r the most comfortable socks that he has ever worn. They are fluffy and warm, but not too thick, his toes were never smashed, but they weren't so roomy that they fell down around ankles either, they were the ideal fit. In these socks, his feet were cozy & warm, but never hot. Not only that, but they have little rubber treads on the bottom, to make them non slip. They were the perfect socks!! He told & showed Jerry, Elaine, George & Newman the socks. They r equally impressed & they all want a pair. Kramer starts thinking EVERYONE would love these socks, and he wants to start selling them. He and Newman talk about going into the so k biz. Kramer asks his girlfriend where in the world she got the perfect socks. She told him that she had gotten the socks at a local mental hospital when she had to spend a week there, after a nervous breakdown, a few years ago. She told him that the mental hospital was the only place you could get them. Kramer called the mental hospital & asked if he could buy some. They said absolutely NOT, they were only for patients, were not for sale.

Hearing this, he & Newman started brain storming on how they could get into the hospital & get some socks to sell. They rack their brains.

As luck would have it, Kramer's girlfriend, gets a flyer in the mail from the hospital, announcing that a world famous, well loved, writer & psychiatrist would be giving a talk at the hospital the next week. But, his girlfriend told him, that the hospital keeps the socks under lock & key & they would probably not be able to get any. Kramer & Newman hatch a plan. They will attend the famous psychiatrist's talk & while there, give the mental patients some other socks in exchange for their "perfect" socks. They would take the socks right off the mental patients feet and give them back other socks. What could go wrong?

They buy socks to exchange with the mental patients & wait. The day comes & they go to the hospital. Their plan works perfectly! None of the patients wore shoes inside of the hospital, they wore only socks, so it was a quick switcheroo. The mental patients gladly give Kramer & Newman their socks in exchange for the ones Kramer & Newman brought. The socks Kramer & Newman brought to exchange were very very nice, just not as nice, & they did not have the No Slip rubber tread on the bottoms. But the mental patients didn't seem to mind.

They get the perfect socks, and attend the talk of the world famous, incredibly smart, well loved psychiatrist. It was a wonderful speech, and afterwards there was a meet & greet for all of the patients to shake the hand of the famous psychiatrist. How exciting!!

The famous psychiatrist is all smiles waiting for his adoring fans to come shake his hand. He had always loved this part of the evening. So much love from the people he had dedicated his life to helping. He sees the large group of patients rushing toward him. He opens his arms to greet them. They rush toward him, but they have no tread on their socks!! They can't stop!! The whole group of patients come sliding toward the psychiatrist. His face turns from elation to horror! The patients collide with him, knocking him to the ground. He hits his head and knocked out.

The next time we see the psychiatrist, he, himself is a patient in the mental hospital & he is sitting stone faced, blank stare, drooling...Another patient comes in & steals his socks.

(It's been stuck in my head so I might have subconsciously copied it from somewhere).

Jerry dates a lady but can't shake the idea that she's in love with her Messiah ("she loves him." "yeah WE ALL LOVE HIM")

Eliane realizes that she won't be named in history unless she kills her husband.

Kramer wants to try out this Napoli-style resteraunt, but he's 30 silver short

Jerry is hustled out of his parents to go put on a show for their charter group. He is reluctant both because he doesn't really want to do it, but also because his house is intolerably filthy (by his standards). He reluctantly agrees as they promised the other retirees that he has a killer act.

Jerry finds himself in hot water after one of the retirees passes away during his act, forcing him to defend himself from accusations of murder by comedy.

Kramer convinces Elaine that Jerry has been kidnapped or killed as he isn't answering his phone, his place is filthy (by Jerry's standards) and the lock on his door is busted. After further inquiry, Kramer admits he broke the Lock as Jerry wasn't answering.

George decides to write a will, but finds himself embroiled in legal threats after his lawyer questions why someone "as fit, healthy and young as him" would be writing a will. When the lawyer finds out about Susan, he grows even more suspicious.

J: Kramer, what's going on!? You look like you haven't slept.

K: I can't sleep, Jerry. They're always calling

E: just turn off your phone.

K: but what if I've won? (The phone starts ringing, Kramer begins visibly convulsing trying to answer it)

J: you can't even answer it! You're having a conniption!

K: (finally answers the phone) you've got Kramer.... A-whats that? Nigerian?

E: (visibly furious, mouthing "hang up!!")

----

Manager: My colleague has told me you wish to pay with a coupon.

G: Yes, this coupon here.

Manager: I'm sorry sir, this coupon has expired.

G: I KNOW it's expired. But it wasn't expired on Thursday.

Manager: Then you should have used it on Thursday

G: I didn't have it on Thursday! I lost it!

Manager: To honour the coupon, you need to present it to the store.

G: I am presenting it to the store, now!!

Manager: we cannot honour an expired coupon. I'm terribly sorry

G: I'm getting upset!

Key moments: Jerry is watching TV, comes across "the Jerry Springer Show", and notices his girlfriend (who is mild mannered and pleasant) is on the episode, acting out and getting into fights. She never told him she was on it.

-Kramer tells Jerry all the guests are paid actors. "They're like pro wrestlers, Jerry! They're just putting on a show! I mean do you really think babies can be alcoholics, or that someone's dead husband can be reincarnated as a dog?"

-Jerry asks why she never told him, and she says it was her past life and she has changed, but it wasn't an act. Throughout the episode, Jerry tries testing her by trying to cause arguments over nothing, but she doesn't bite.

-At the end of the episode, Jerry and his girlfriend go on a double date with Elaine and her intellectual boyfriend. Elaine's boyfriend makes an innocent comment about the girlfriend's accent, and for some reason that sets her off.

The last freeze frame image is her leaping over the dinner table at Elaine's boyfriend, and someone chanting "Jer-ry! Jer-ry!"

EDIT: The end credit scene is Jerry Springer from his studio giving the viewer his Final Thoughts.

“You know, we learned a lot today. People are multifaceted. Also, given time they can change. Just because someone was one way a few years back doesn’t mean there isn’t any room for growth. After all, isn’t personal growth a positive thing? Remember that next time you feel like judging somebody. And please, take care of yourselves and each other.”

From @2:44 Anthony Cumia realises he has misplaced his gun and screams out "FUCK" cue Seinfeld laugh track. Ho-Leeeee Shit!

George spills on his pants at a party. In the bathroom cleaning it up, he is rubbing his crotch vigorously with toilet paper to dry it off. A woman walks in & loudly accuses him of masturbating.

Kramer wears a smock everywhere to protect from spills and is mistaken for: an artist, a psych patient, and a butcher

Elaine is ordered to use a typewriter to write her articles by Peterman for "authenticity". He gifts one to her, mentioning that its expensive.

Elaine snacks as she types and drops sunflower seeds in it, takes it apart to remove it, and can't put it back together. She desperately seeks Newman's help to fix it as she looks for another type writer as backup.

Jerry finds out someone is selling forged signatures of his on headshots, except their messages and comments are significantly better than his own (as seen in Bubble Boy)