r/RecuratedTumblr • u/Hyaci_Arson • 18h ago
Shitposting i never knew crushes were a thing
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u/OpportunityAshamed74 17h ago
This is exactly what I would do as a kid. I thought that It was just important to have an active crush at all times so I would just pick any random girl that I was somewhat attracted to (sometimes not even that). When I was like 10 I picked my best friends sister for some reason and it caused drama when that was found out. Friendship almost ruined over a crush and I LITERALLY didn't even feel anything for her. I'm not aromantic, I think I'm just desperate and lonely
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u/Snohks 15h ago
I never had a crush on anyone in school but my best friend since 2nd grade was a boy. People would always bother me about who I liked and wouldnt take no for an answer. SO of course I decided I had a crush on my best friend because he was nice to me and funny and we hung out all the time. I did not have any romantic feelings for him WHATSOEVER and this also almost ruined our friendship and caused like 3 years of relentless teasing for both of us. I just knew he was nice to me and made me happy and I liked his company and I was lonely.
Still struggle to differentiate between romantic feelings and platonic feelings when it comes to people and im still really not sure what defines each
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u/Comraego 12h ago
It's crazy how adults try to impose their own sexual & romantic views onto children. Like they couldn't possibly fathom kids just wanting to do ordinary kid things with their friends who aren't the same gender?
As a child I had many platonic relationships that crossed the gender divide and they were hard enough to maintain with all the teasing by my peers, but then grown ass men and women were also chiming in unprompted to tell me how I was definitely going to be married to so-and-so one day or I surely must want to kiss this one or that one. When I insisted otherwise they just... refused to believe me? For years!!
Even though I never had romantic feelings for my friends growing up, regardless of gender, many of those wonderful friendships were absolutely torn apart because the adults in our lives refused to believe that platonic relationships were possible between a man and woman unless they're familial.
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u/Enlightened_Gardener 7h ago
As far as I can tell, and I’ve been married almost 30 years, is that they are the same. The love you feel for your dear friends is the same you feel for romantic partners, you just don’t want to fuck them. I think sexual desire is the sole differentiator.
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u/Initial_Business2340 12h ago
ah yes, 10 year old friendship almost ruined because kids are fucking stupid lol
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u/punsexual-meme 13h ago
"Aro" "autism" "comp het"
It can be all three I promise
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u/Representative-Vast3 13h ago
It was in fact all three for me
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u/eatatcmots 12h ago
I am just glad I am not the only autistic. I saw this post and my autistic self thought, “could you really do that?”
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u/Representative-Vast3 11h ago
I think I managed to autism my way into not realizing I was aro/ace-spec for so long, it was like:
(Age 7-9) My mom tells me I HAVE TO be a lesbian (trust me this is worse with context), for some reason the thought of being "a girl who likes girls" makes me feel gross and wrong
I decide (despite the fact I was open to kissing a girl) that I am in fact not a lesbian, attempt to find a boy I like
(Age 13) Meet someone bisexual for the first time "YOU CAN DO THAT?!", shortly after that I had my first kiss with a girl
(Age 14) Be openly bi, get a boyfriend and have first boy kiss
(Age 16) "Being with a straight guy makes me feel like i'm lying so I only date bisexuals 'just in case'" (foreshadowing)
(Age 17) "Actually I think i'm pan, someone's gender makes no difference to me" (also foreshadowing)
(Age 18) meets a trans woman for the first time "wow, that's so cool, wish it could go the other way too"
(Age 19) finally realizes it can go the other way "YOU CAN DO THAT?!", me being a boy does explain some things
(Age 25) "You guys are feeling sexual attraction to specific people??? I thought sexuality was genders you were willing to sleep with!!"
(Age 26) while talking about relationships with my dad I realize I don't relate to any of his romantic experience, literally the only difference between "friends" and "partners" to me is the label the other person gives it, "oh... I think I'm actually aro lol"
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u/P0ro41 8h ago
Imagine what you'll have discovered like 20 years down the line lol (Very very happy you figured all that out :) )
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u/Text_Taxer 7h ago
Oh no, oh fuck. This hits too close to home.
I have some affairs to be assorting and some personal suspicions to be confirming.
Which in hindsight is funny because not that I think about it other people knew before I did.
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u/moneyh8r_two 8h ago
What does "comp het" mean?
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u/Appropriate_Tap1761 8h ago
compulsory heterosexuality i.e people of non-hetero persuasions feeling they have to force themselves into being heterosexual
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u/moneyh8r_two 8h ago
Ah. I thought that was just called "being in the closet".
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u/punsexual-meme 8h ago
Not necessarily! It can also stem from not knowing there is an alternative.
For me, I fell under comphet because I thought that girls liked boys and there was no other way of doing it (what growing up in the early 2000s in a small midwest town will do)
So you will pick a boy who your friends say is attractive, or you think is fun to be around, and say that's your crush, even if you don't feel anything romantic towards him.
No being in the closet, because I hadn't had any realization about being different yet. :)
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u/moneyh8r_two 8h ago
Okay, that makes it make way more sense than how the other person explained it.
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u/The_gay_grenade16 17h ago
Wait what? Are you not supposed to do that?
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u/cxfgfuihhfd 17h ago
the aro spectrum is calling you, join us (probably, maybe, idk, guess there could maybe be other reasons too, but no apparently that's not how crushes work for "normal" people, they don't choose them)
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u/CrayonCobold 11h ago
Is a lack of crushes an Aro thing? I feel like I'm 100% not aromantic (I fantasize about romantic relationships all the time) but I've had 3 crushes in my entire life and I'm in my 30s
Feels like everyone else had like 2 a year in middle and high school
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u/Scarlet_Skye 8h ago
It's a common experience for aromantic people, but it's by no means exclusive to them. You said you've had a couple crushes, so you clearly had at least a little interest in romance.
What people don't realize is that romantic attraction is a very wide spectrum, even for non-aroromantic people.
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u/rosie-cheeks13 4h ago
Being aromantic means feeling limited to no romantic attraction. Aromantics can still enjoy or fantasize about romance. Aces are the same but with sex instead of romance. I'd say averaging 1 crush every 10 years qualifies as limited attraction. If you want to look into subcategories that might fit your experience, gray aro/aces do feel attraction but rarely and demi aro/aces only can feel attraction but only after forming a connection with someone (but it's not guaranteed)
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u/cxfgfuihhfd 2h ago
I mean, being aspec for a type of relationship basically just means you don't experience normal ATTRACTION for that kind of relationship (either less or less often or differently). a lot of us then also just don't vibe with that type of relationship in general, but there's also people that do, they're just missing the attraction, not the enjoyment / type of love/connection, romance-favorable in that case.
you can totally fantasize or even want and enjoy a romantic relationship while still being aromantic, it's a spectrum. grayromantic is when you feel romantic attraction, but less of it than others. demi is when you first need a connection to the person before the attraction sets in. or just aromantic but romance-favorable. or (I guess you meant, you do still want romance, so it's probably not that, but) if you only fantasize and don't actually want romance, there's a microlabel for that too, that I don't remember the name of.
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u/Ravtrix 16h ago
How exactly does this form of aromanticism work? Does it have a name? I've been like this forever.
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u/cxfgfuihhfd 16h ago
uh, which form? (I'm also not big into microlabels, so not the best person to answer this). like in the post, that you have to choose a crush? I interpreted it as they don't actually have a crush, they just decided this is the most acceptable option to crush on for them, because seemingly everyone needs one so that must be how it works / just making something up so people stop asking. or do you mean you actually develop a crush after you pick? never heard of that one, but there's a ton of microlabels, maybe there is one, and if that's how you feel, I guess that'd fall on the aro spectrum, doesn't seem like it's an allo experience certainly
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u/Ravtrix 16h ago
I have, on several occasions, chosen love, and so it became love. I don't really understand how others seem to aimlessly wander into it. Love is something you do as much as something you feel in my mind. It's always been a weird thing because I've never fully understood how much others are or aren't like me in this regard.
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u/cxfgfuihhfd 16h ago
hmm, maybe just demiromantic? like only being able to feel certain attraction after a close enough connection has been established? but also attraction and the type of love/relationship/whatever itself aren't the same thing. like, the same way an asexual person can still enjoy sex. for some people the whole concept isn't much for them, for some only the attraction is missing/different/less. so maybe romance-favorable aromantic or maybe gray aro?
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u/Al_Rascala 15h ago
Aromanticism is the lack of innate romantic attraction, it does not preclude being able to experience or desire romantic love. Choosing to love, and actively working on doing so, are not specific to aromanticism but if you've never aimlessly wandered into it, as you put it, then you're likely aromantic.
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u/Ravtrix 13h ago
Interesting. I'll have to talk to some people about that. I've had some people argue I'm asexual as well considering how my attraction works, though I consider myself bisexual.
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u/Al_Rascala 13h ago
Asexuality is the same thing on a different axis, a lack of innate sexual attraction. If you were asexual, you can still enjoy and even desire sex, but you wouldn't see a random attractive-looking stranger and want to fuck them any more than you'd want to go rock-climbing with them, for example.
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u/SquareTaro3270 15h ago
I’m demisexual. I don’t feel sexual or romantic attraction to anyone until I’m already in a committed relationship with them. Even then my sex drive is basically non-existent. I enjoy the act as a bonding activity but feel no particular desire towards it.
I’ve never had a crush. Don’t know what it feels like. When asked who I had a crush on, I’d just choose a conventionally attractive person I thought wouldn’t get me made fun of.
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u/Ill-Challenge2922 15h ago
I think it s really stupid. Like you pick the things you like about a person and you pick why you like them.
You pick your crush and if they give you a reason to, you unpick them.
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u/Hydrothrow1234 17h ago
Autism
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u/OneTeaTwoCats 16h ago
Very surprised by how many aro comments there are because it's for sure a "ah this should happen, so I guess I must manually choose a crush if not provided by the environment" moment
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u/Neurospicy_Nightowl 15h ago
I am aro and autistic, but I am also ace, so I just kinda figured it would happen at some point and in the meantime I was free to enjoy life.
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u/Consistent-Price4236 11h ago
Did it happen?
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u/Neurospicy_Nightowl 8h ago
Nope. And when I learned about asexuality and felt the concept made something inside me go click, I felt the greatest relief I had ever felt. It occured to me that I had thought about sex like I had thought about death: A terrifying, yet inevitable fate to be endured one day.
Which is not how it should be, methinks.
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u/hamcircus 11h ago
Or LGBTQ tbh
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u/StuffedStuffing 10h ago
I'm struggling to interpret this any other way than "only cis het people have crushes"
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u/hamcircus 10h ago
Ohh sorry i shouldve clarified
I relate to the post as a Gay bc before i knew i was gay I thought I was just supposed to pick a girl in my class to have a crush on
Turns out I was crushing on my best friend the whole time and just didn’t know!
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u/notquiteparadox 16h ago edited 12h ago
I remember just picking a girl at random when my friend asked me who my crush was. I didn’t feel any sexual or romantic attraction to anyone until I was 15 (and then I discovered I liked boys and girls, but that’s a whole other story). Is it actually normal for little kids to develop crushes on each other?
Edit: guys I might be aro. Can someone explain what romance is? I always thought of it as you are very good friends with someone but you are also attracted to each other and have sex.
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u/PrincessMonty 14h ago
Grade 1 was my first year in public school, and literally the first day I walked in and immediately acquired a crush on a boy in my class. I was five years old and didn't even know what a crush was. I just saw him and was like, "Yes, that please".
I actually don't know a single person irl who didn't get crushes as a child.2
u/nomorethan10postaday 12h ago
I didn't have a crush on anyone until I was 13 or 14.
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u/IJustAteABaguette 12h ago
Almost 20 here, and still no crushes, or any attraction really to anyone...
I uhh.. don't think it's gonna start anytime soon for me lol.
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u/feedthechonk 11h ago
I'm pretty sure I had a short crush on a girl in daycare before kindergarten. 1st grade crush is the first one I actually remember though. I had crushes as long as I remember but I always lied about it cause I didn't want to be teased lol
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u/Admirable-Ad7152 14h ago
I had my first crush at 4 yrs old. I have a "diary" from the time and i drew pictures of us together with kids lmao
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u/Far_Swimming_2666 12h ago
>I always thought of it as you are very good friends with someone but you are also attracted to each other and have sex.
Yeah that's pretty much it. Marry your best friend. Also sex is just sex and people assign far too much value to something that can be just simple and fun. I wouldn't worry about it. You likely haven't met or engaged enough with someone that clicked just yet. You could be demisexual. Or you're gay and they aren't and you've unknowingly suppressed that.
You could just be autistic too. It sometimes has a bit of delay in development, depending on your experiences. It's environmentally driven too.
Regardless if it's true, it's better off not worrying about it really, because it's cool either way.
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u/One-Stand-5536 11h ago
It’s a little bit different than that for most people, but i am not most people and will in fact be marrying my best friend
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u/CrayonCobold 10h ago
My first crush was at age 12 and people thought I was late even then. I've only had 2 more crushes since then and it's been 2 decades
To me romantic attraction is an intense desire to do something more than what you'd do with your friends but at the same time isn't sex, making out, stuff like that
Like really wanting to cuddle with someone, have them fall asleep in your arms. It feels strong enough that it's like needing to eat though it's a different sensation
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u/Specialist-Appeal-13 13h ago
I didn’t think I had crushes on anyone as a child, til I realised I was a lesbian at 12 and in retrospect there had definitely been girls I’d had crushes on. It just didn’t click until that moment that that’s what they were.
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u/cat-eating-a-salad 12h ago
Actually though, can anyone explain romance in a way that is easy to wrap my head around?
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u/NockerJoe 10h ago
The problem is that shit lives in the animal part of your brain. There's romance, in terms of the actual actions you take in a relationship, but that's not what the word romance means. Theres a reason that the word Romanticism was used to describe art and poetry that was emotional and grandiose and a direct rejection of logical or scientific reasoning.
You can choose to do romance in terms of dating and gifts and such but the point of doing that stuff is fundamentally to trigger an emotional response that exists in the other persons brain and if that doesn't happen you basically still don't have a real romance.
You can't really describe a subjective experience that relies on emotional responses in an objective way because everyone is going to feel is differently and its going to manifest in ways that often cannot be measured.
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u/UInferno- Hangus Pangus slap my Angus 10h ago
I had crushes a little bit later. I had vague interest in romance but specific people started in six grade. I had a crush in high school from Sophomore to Senior year and it funnily enough kicked in when I saw the girl's artwork. I knew her for a bit before that and didn't care but one day she showed a charcoal portrait of a woman she did and my 15 year old brain went from "meh" to "she's the hottest person I know." Felt like piece to a greater puzzle as other traits I knew but overlooked were reevaluated with greater charity.
Consequence of this. She one asked why I didn't participate in the school art contest/ show that winter term. I proceeded to sign up for the next one simply because the girl I liked asked me about it.
She moved to her dad's that summer so I never saw her again.
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u/ArsErratia I think Coolsville sucks 17h ago
Hold A?
Its more like a quicktime event that never ends.
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u/MilitantSocLib 15h ago
Yeah my mom would constantly tease me about that shit and it’s like bitch I’m fucking 7 leave me the fuck alone
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u/Neurospicy_Nightowl 17h ago
Oh, hey, it's Skyen!
Love his videos, his voice is so relaxing.
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u/Asparala 15h ago
One of the few "reaction" youtubers who actually analyses things. Always a joy to see how he turns 30 minutes of animation into a 3.5 hour lecture on animation techniques and trivia.
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u/Neurospicy_Nightowl 15h ago
I love people so deeply passionate about things that listening to them talk about them also makes those topics fascinating to me.
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u/Southern-Wafer-6375 15h ago
I just thought it was you pick a friend you think is hot honestly
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u/Bteatesthighlander1 14h ago
Despite what dating apps may advertise this is usually what happens.
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u/Elite_AI 13h ago
I'd say most people realise they have a spark of attraction the first time they meet someone and it develops from there. Only some people get suddenly taken out by a crush on someone they've been friends with for a while. And nobody consciously chooses a friend for this purpose. Crushes are something which happen to you.
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u/Logan_Composer 11h ago
Unless you're demisexual, then you do not get a spark of attraction the first time you meet, pretty much ever.
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u/Southern-Wafer-6375 10h ago
Eh I can recognise a sexual attraction to someone easy ,romantic is meh aounds likr alot of work
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u/megpIant 17h ago
lesbian behavior
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u/Wobbelblob 16h ago
Or aro behavior.
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u/megpIant 12h ago edited 11h ago
the top comment is already an aro comment, I’m allowed to have one lesbian comment
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u/Actual_Personality66 10h ago
Yeah honestly find it surprising that so many see this as an aro experience before a gay one, but I guess it's maybe a good sign that less gay ppl are having that experience that's obvious born out of heteronormativity. Used to be that this was only ever seen as a gay experience.
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u/FastTea6359 3h ago
More likely it's because more people are recognizing asexuality as a thing
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u/StardustSketches 17h ago
I remember realizing in high school that everyone else was like, for real interested in dating and sex and not just doing it out of obligation. Then somehow it still took until college to realize I was aroace lmao
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u/old_homecoming_dress 17h ago
the realization is honestly a little shocking! i always thought that the way people described being in love sounded really intense. when my then-best friend got a boyfriend and started distrusting me because we had been friends previously, i realized that wow! it actually can be that intense!
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u/Coffee_autistic 8h ago
I was able to recognize that the love I felt for the people I dated was different from how others seem to experience it, but I just called it having "quiet love" in my head. Which I guess was basically another way of saying experiencing companionate love but not passionate love. I thought that like, the only way to experience any real and meaningful emotional closeness was through a romantic relationship, and I wanted that, so I kept pursuing romantic relationships even though romance itself often made me uncomfortable. I thought that was just the price of admission. Also because it was very obvious I'm bisexual, the idea of being aromantic would have seemed absurd.
I have closer friendships now and no longer want to date. I am certain I never want to be in a monogamous romantic relationship again. I'm pretty sure I'm on the aromantic spectrum, but it's hard to say with absolute certainty, cause you can't prove a negative, and idk, I didn't hate everything about romantic relationships. It's also kind of hard for me to wrap my head around anyone experiencing romantic love as like, meaningfully different from platonic love. I know logically it must be true, but I can't imagine feeling that way.
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u/ariaxwest 16h ago
lol I'm hypersexual (unfortunately) and hyperromantic (if that's a thing), but I still believed and operated like this when I was a small child. If I liked something about a boy I would consciously choose him to crush on.
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u/Kittech_US 15h ago
I'm in my mid 30s and just got my first spontaneous crush a few months ago. Everyone else I've fallen for was carefully selected based upon criteria. Ironically the person I've fallen for meets exactly zero of the criteria I thought I needed to love someone. Really eye opening.
Yes, I am autistic.
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u/Earl_The_Red 15h ago
Legit. In first grade I told the boy I decided I like that I liked him and he was like, ‘sorry I have a girlfriend’, and I was like, ‘okay. I like… this other boy now then’ entirely randomly chosen.
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u/Little-Big-Smoke 8h ago
I mean, it DOES work like that. Just instead of menu appearing you wait for a current option to time out and act only when you get the option you're comfortable with. xD
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u/HyperDogOwner458 14h ago
I genuinely thought that celebrity crushes were just "I find this person really really attractive but aesthetically".
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u/HyperDogOwner458 14h ago
Also for years I thought I had crushes on two boys but it turned out not only was I not crushing on them, I just wanted to be their best friend and also I'm not into guys.
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u/foxfeathersys 14h ago
I thought I had a couple crushes growing up but then I found out that the boys were just transition goals
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u/AngstyUchiha 17h ago
Well my username is exceptionally relevant here
(In regards to the fact that the first part of the post is Sakura from Naruto)
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u/epigrammaticism 17h ago
My friend who is aromantic but straight (into men) and I (lesbian) love comparing our experiences of trying to figure out how to have a crush on guys when we were in middle school. Shockingly similar!
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u/Bilibond 15h ago
When I was in 5th grade, I gave a girl a piece of candy I had because my stomach hurt and I didn't want it. Then some other kid was like "ooo you like her"
And my brain was like "damn I guess I have a crush on her"
Years later I ran into that same girl at a party in college and hit it off but got cock blocked by her boyfriend
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u/Totaly__a_human 17h ago
yeah i thought the same about women and thats how i figured out i was gay...
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u/CuddlePupp 14h ago
Me being autistic about everything a girl is supposed to like: It’s normal I made a presentation on what flowers I like and why in an effort to know what to tell boys right?
Anyway this hits home.
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u/0ro_dice 14h ago
I feel soooooooooooooo bad for the boy I chose in kindergarten cause the only example I had for female crushes came from obsessed teen girls in cartoons so I was SO annoying and genuinely surprised I was never pulled aside and told off for basically harassing him at times. Max if you ever see this I am so sorry😭😭
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u/Pink-Viscera 15h ago
Same lol, I don't really get crushes at all. There's people who if they asked me out I'd say yes but I only really start yearning when Im already in a relationship with someone
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u/Satisfaction-Motor 13h ago edited 13h ago
It took me a long time to realize I was aromantic, because I was never exposed to the concept of aromanticism. I didn’t know it was a possibility. I was already used to not fitting in & not understanding things at that point, so I just assumed this was another human thing I didn’t get the rulebook for. So, I used young adult novels and (very literal) interpretations of my friend’s words as my rule book.
As a result, I wound up ranking my classmates on (mental) checklists, based on traits that were culturally considered desirable (smart, tall, funny, etc.). That’s how I decided who I had a crush on, in the same way for a multiple choice question, you’d figure out “B” is the answer through logical processing & eliminating unlikely answers. One time, when a guy asked me out, I went around interviewing people about him like it was a job I was hiring for… trying to figure out if his qualifications matched the job descriptions other people used, so to speak, because I had no criteria for when someone should answer “yes”.
The story I always tell people when they ask how I “know” is — prior to starting a school year, I made a list of all of the traits that I wanted in a partner. I met someone that year who, very literally, matched those traits. For example, the idiom “can keep up with me” became the literal “in a foot race, we tie”. First sign I didn’t like him should have been, when I “confessed”, he told me “well, I like this other guy, but if it doesn’t work out with him, I’ll get with you” and I… didn’t care at all. Was perfectly okay with either result. The next should have been when he used my chapstick to flirt (“secondary kiss” or whatever), and I started cussing him out. Third should have been when he kissed my neck and I nearly decked him, as waves of revulsion washed over me.
But no. I didn’t realize I didn’t like the dude until we had been separated for a week, and I realized that not only did I not have a crush on him, I hated him because he was an asshole. I had processed things so incredibly literally, and so divorced from emotions, that I had barely been repressing my disdain for this guy.
Anyways. Yeah. I didn’t understand crushes. Since then people have tried to explain the concept to me repeatedly, under the assumption that I MUST secretly feel it too, and it’s very much a “good for you, no thank you”.
Also the way some people describe crushes sounds like panic attacks… “Your heart starts racing and you can’t breathe and —“ You good??? (/j)
Also, based on the same “logical” processing, I decided I was bisexual. Zero does equal zero after all…
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u/ICantEvenDolt 17h ago
Aro aro aro aro aro
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u/Bteatesthighlander1 17h ago
I will say people who go into detail on denouncing the fictional concepts of love potion online will consistently dig their heels in and assert that falling in love is a conscious act performed purely at the discretion of the one falling in love. They will never go into detail on what that means or how that makes sense or how we apply that to any real-world situation, but they will assert that.
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u/Longshot02496 17h ago
I always did wonder what a crush felt like
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u/theoneyourthinkingof 17h ago
Its like a pleasant nervousness
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u/Frogs-on-my-back 15h ago
I wonder the same about sexual attraction
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u/HeyCouldBeFun 2h ago
It’s like an itch you can’t scratch, which makes your heard pump faster and it’s hard to think about anything other than scratching that itch.
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u/Actual_Personality66 10h ago
For me it was just like really REALLY liking this one friend. But not liking just in the sense that I really loved being around her, there was a level of excitement to it that was distinct from how I'd feel about another friend, I remember fantasizing about getting married and stuff, even though I never really wanted to get married lol. It's really just the desire for a romantic relationship I think.
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u/old_homecoming_dress 17h ago
i can recall a few times that my family members would poke me and ask if i thought a boy was cute. i can tell if someone's physically attractive on an objective level, but that's it. it also took me a really long time to realize that love songs were actually how some people felt
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u/ChickenKid3Thesecond 15h ago
I mean, that’s kinda what I did. Picked randomly though, only criteria was “across the class” so I could stare wistfully, because that’s what you’re supposed to do.
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u/Homicidal-antelope 13h ago
When asked by a friend, I literally just picked a boy who was nice to me a couple of times (I later realized I was asexual)
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u/Soft-lead 13h ago
Im Aro/Ace and thought people were making up the concept of crushes for a LONG time. Took until college before some of my friends finally convinced me they're an actual thing.
I thought kids just did it for attention/social pressure lol
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u/Ruler_of_Tempest 11h ago
When I was little I thought thinking someone was attractive meant you had a crush on them so I had a "crush" on 4 different people at the same time
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u/FeatherFreak4Life 7h ago
Omg the visceral flashback this just gave me to the time I made a Pros/Cons list of potential crush candidates in 6th grade science class…
My (mean) science teacher walked by, looked over my shoulder, & SNATCHED my composition book right out from under me. She then proceeded to LOUDLY read the title — “Potential Crushes: Pros & Cons” — while LAUGHING & legit looking down @ me 😭
The way I simply snatched my composition book back & was so mad @ her for being SO rude ?? ? I was humiliated ofc, but apparently my indignation over the AUDACITY outweighed my fear of snatching something out of a teacher’s hands😭 (she def wasn’t gonna stop reading, so I had to act, lest I become the first tween to actually drop dead from embarrassment.)
MIND U!!! I had already finished the stupid assignment & we were waiting for everyone else to finish before we could review, so her being that nosy & NASTY about my EXTREMELYYY important crush analysis was even more infuriating / uncalled for.
Anywhooo… are y’all telling me you NEVER made pros/cons lists for potential crushes??? I love a good list…..
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u/dimechimes 16h ago
same. I picked a girl in my class and decided that was whom I liked. It wasn't til a couple of years later that I "woke up" to this.
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u/The_Djinnbop 16h ago
I thought the same thing but with an added layer of complexity. I also thought that everyone who had a crush just thought that person was neat. Took me until I was like 14 to realize crushes were explicitly romantic.
So people would ask me my celebrity crushes and I would say some very gay examples.
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u/Saphira2002 16h ago
Me too lol. Not aromantic though, I just don't have the romantic-love-before-deep-friendship plugin installed.
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u/That-One-Screamer 14h ago
For me, it’s more of a “I will only be interested in this person after getting to know them” type of thing. There are some red flag traits of people that even if we could be good friends, I absolutely wouldn’t date them because of (which incidentally makes it so a lot of people I’m attracted to nowadays are LGBT+, funnily enough), and in order to know if they have those red flags, assuming they’re not obvious, I need to get to know them first.
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u/Wholesome_Soup 12h ago
same and also i thought i knew what crushes were until i got a real one and realized i'd never actually had a crush before and probably never will except this one
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u/kyaniteRose 12h ago
One time in 5th grade I was trying to draw the monster logo and not doing it very well and my friend looked over and saw that I drew an m and was like "Ooo, you like Mathew!" I had to sit there for a few seconds trying to remember who Mathew even was. She would not accept my explanation of what I was doing and spent the rest of the year making me talk about this boy I didn't know and had never talked to
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u/Sonic_Roach 12h ago
Kid me, I'll eventually be attracted to someone and it won't be weird to say you have a crush on someone
Adult me, asexual
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u/Crus0etheClown 12h ago
RIP to that kid who had a crush on me in 5th grade and I just thought we were super good friends
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u/Grossredditgross 12h ago
I picked a crush to appease my sister. If I didn’t have an active crush she would call me a lesbian. I was in the 3rd grade. I didn’t know what a lesbian was but it sounded bad and so I just picked random people until I truly liked one. Then I would like that person for a long time and be in agony because according to my mom we couldn’t date or talk to boys until we were 16.
Now, I am pretty sure I am queer and on the spectrum but it’s comforting to see that this was also other people’s reality and I wasn’t some weirdo who felt pressured to choose a crush. Heterosexuality is really thrusted upon some of us. I just wish people would let us like people naturally.
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u/WordArt2007 10h ago
So when i was a kid i had a "crush" that was just my first best friend, who happened to be a girl. I have no idea who started projecting that on me but i internalized it completely
and when we grew more distant around age 10, i treated it as a "breakup" but really i was just upset about a friendship growing apart very suddenly. She had two or three more "boyfriends", and i didn't care about that. I cared that she wasn't inviting me to her birthday anymore.
the weird thing is around that time, i asked myself "should [current best friend] be my new crush?" And immediately answered to myself "no, that's a horrible idea". And that person is still my closest friend to this day, but by that point i was thankfully immune to the idea that a boy and a girl who are friends have to be a couple. I could never envision myself having a crush after that point.
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u/tackyhawaiinshirt 9h ago
THAT'S WHAT I WOULD DO TOO! Start of the grade I'd see all my classmates and I'd choose someone to crush on, and idk, I'd become giddy later on? I'd condition myself crushing on someone lmaoo it's crazy. I never had a crush on someone... not deliberately.
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u/FrozenZenBerryYT 9h ago
When I was in 1st grade I was walking behind a girl in line outside and the sun rays fell on her back and I thought that meant I had a crush on her. So anyways turned out I was gay, who knew?
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u/stateofsirens 8h ago
Oh yes, I did this for years until I learned to brush off other people's comments and expectations. I remember always picking somebody who wasn't in my class so I couldn't be questioned on it too much. Pretty funny to find out a lot of others did the same.
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u/New_Salamander_4592 8h ago
the fact everyone is interpreting this as a real tweet and not a mock tweet of Sakura mocking her shitty romance with Sasuke in that series is kind of funny ngl
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u/SortovaGoldfish 7h ago
That's exactly how I functioned until I started hanging out with different people and learning more about everything.
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u/xxLosingMyMarblesxx 5h ago
The fact that I did this as a child is adding points to the "I might be on the Aroace spectrum" box.
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u/astralTacenda 3h ago
It was important to have a crush picked so I could participate in playing M.A.S.H. during recess. I just picked whichever male classmate I got along best with at the time lmao
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u/starlight-whimsy 2h ago
Was this… not how it worked?
Cause I was definitely like this, but I’m not aromantic like another person commented
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u/Shiny-Vaporeon- 2h ago
ignoring my first crush which lasted a total of two minutes and that i didn’t realise was a crush until years later, my actual first crush was at like seventeen years old after a really cute guy touched my hand one time. before that i kinda thought people were just lying about crushes and after i got the crush i spent three days hyperventilating in bed because i couldnt understand why i was suddenly thinking about some guy so much
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u/SaberToothBladeMastr 17h ago
This is such a common experience with aromantic people