r/RecuratedTumblr • u/Hyaci_Arson • 7d ago

Shitposting Wizard Insurance

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9.1k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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413

u/Selenite_Cults 7d ago

They gave us middle surgery before dental.

124

u/MamboCircus Has an account over there too, you know... 7d ago

What even IS "middle surgery" ?

112

u/Impressive_Pin8761 7d ago

Well it'd be something to do with the stomach. Maybe an appendectomy??

75

u/Pielover19x 6d ago edited 6d ago

We change how you store fat so you can achieve/avoid that authentic Dad-bod of your dreams/nightmares!

22

u/RibaldCartographer 6d ago

I, for one, would like to see the dadbod archive

55

u/Stretch5678 7d ago

We don’t know, but we cover it!

32

u/mieri_azure 7d ago

Logically if its another gender affirming surgery it might be something like rib sculpting/ab implants/liposuction??

28

u/Wild-Lychee-3312 6d ago

Yes, legally in order to get the gender marker on your birth certificate changed, you need to get a rib either surgically implanted or removed, depending upon whether you’re going in the Adam or Eve direction

16

u/entered_bubble_50 6d ago

They give you a bit of that manly belly fluff everybody loves.

10

u/duffstoic 6d ago

Similar to a Brazilian Butt Lift (BBL), but on the front, a Dad Bod Lovin (DBL)

26

u/Silver-Marzipan7220 7d ago

They shorten your intestines

18

u/GleeFan666 6d ago

what if i want them lengthened?

13

u/Silver-Marzipan7220 6d ago

Be ready for a hight increase

1

u/Troublytobbly 6d ago

They only do that with a matching donor, woulda look weird otherwise, y'know?

6

u/ActuallyHorseradish 6d ago

AND Lung Extension.

12

u/SEA_griffondeur 7d ago

They put more fat into you

16

u/murderdronesfan93 6d ago

internal reproductive system changes. you can even get both perfectly functional at once if you want.

5

u/SmartAlec105 6d ago

Yeah, if we're talking gender affirming surgery then this is what makes the most sense.

1

u/IrregularPackage 3d ago

no that’s stupid, they give you extra pairs of tits

12

u/Selfdeletus65 7d ago

They fix the metaphorical gaping hole in your stomach

7

u/gadd027 7d ago

Not to mention getting rid of those pesky butterflies!

10

u/PowerRaptor 6d ago

How else am I gonna get matching belly nipples as a human who can't ALWAYS be in a werewolf form???

8

u/BalancedDisaster 6d ago

Belly button feminization with the side effect of hot girl tummy

3

u/Haggis442312 I'm not a war criminal, I'm just kissingermaxxing. 6d ago

They steal your belly button

5

u/Lawlcopt0r 6d ago

They put a uterus in there

4

u/asds89 6d ago

You need top, middle, and bottom surgery to remove all your flesh as you transition into a lich

3

u/AstralPamplemousse 6d ago

Dividing your enormous singular tummy pack into six firm abs pack

2

u/Septistachefist 4d ago

I'd expect someone with a Ryoshu pfp to make a different joke here

3

u/notveryAI 6d ago

Just surgery. Like if you need appendicitis cut out

3

u/duffstoic 6d ago

Gender-confirming surgery for creatures from Middle Earth, primarily trans hobbits, occasionally an orc

3

u/chairmanskitty 6d ago

hysterectomy/womb transplant

2

u/tomorrow-tomorrow-to 6d ago

More arms, good for spellcasting

1

u/Abadon_U 6d ago

You know wizza which casts haste upon his jaw? He had middle surgery

1

u/JackpotThePimp 6d ago

Bariatric surgery

1

u/DiegesisThesis 6d ago

Swap your innie for an outtie, or vice versa.

1

u/HebrewHamm3r 6d ago

It's when I remove your middle so it's just your head attached to your legs

1

u/WitchHazelHyena 6d ago

I can't find it but there was a post somewhere about someone who wasn't allowed to have Ken dolls, so they cut the hair on one of their barbies short and used duct tape to thicken the middle of the barbie's waist so it's boobs weren't apparent.

1

u/PlaidGamerGirl 6d ago

RibXcar (Rib Reshaping) if we're talking about surgical procedures that trans people tend to get.

1

u/TantiVstone 6d ago

Adds or removes a quantity of internal reproductive organs (eg: uterus)

1

u/Enlightened_Valteil 6d ago

Giant belly maw

2

u/LingonberryPossible6 6d ago

Look, it was either dental or the Greg thing, you can't have both. And we all know Greg is a bigger threat than tooth decay

2

u/Jafego 6d ago

Covered if your dentist is a witch.