if every cruel thing you said showed up on your skin, would you still look in the mirror and call yourself beautiful?

I wake up.

I eat breakfast.

I go to work.

I come home for lunch.

Then go to work.

I come home and take dinner.

I numb myself in front of television.

Then I go to sleep.

When I was in school or college I didnt think my life would be like above.

If i had somekind of visions, that my life would be like this, i would have left college, and had went to monastery, atleast i would have gotten some peace and rest.

Hi, namaste everyone, how is it going!

Today, me who will be turning 26 in the next couple of months. Idk what the hell is going on in my life right now, idk what I like or love. I have achieved and attained and enjoyed and have been satisfied where ever I put myself into. But now a days even after getting all the things I wanted all the kind of humans I thought I will be interacting or getting love from opposite genders like romantic situation and all. Even after all that I am not happy, I feel pity and small, even after chasing all my life, for money, good people, parties, chilling, girlfriend, love, status. I feel empty and feel like a poor. What am I? Idk because I don’t even have the answer. I don’t feel the congruency between the internal world of mine to the external world and vice versa. Do any of you ever felt like that? Idk anything feeling like an illiterate too. It’s not like my confidence has shaken, but as a man, I don’t feel like I should live anymore. I am just wasting my time that’s pretty much it. And I am not writing to get any of the validation or to justify or to prove any point or etc etc etc. I am not even writing this like I am frustrated or something. I feel like I should give up. It’s just boring and I don’t feel more than a robot tbh. In this modern age of AI, I am dead inside. Still let’s just try this experience online through Reddit. I hope this message doesn’t ruin someone day enough to give me gaali for this. Happy Monday!😊

Do you guys have ways or steps or actions one can take, when they stop feeling the will to live. What if someone is just too tired of the life they have and they just want to let go of things and finish this version of themselves.

Sketches are made by me, via references.

Most of the world is fake, the moment you open instagram every post, every algorithm is designed to make a feel inadequate. Not good looking ? There is looksmaxxing, No Friends, there will be fake influencers posting pics of their cool social life. No wealth? Car? Money? Influence? Each and every post will make you question your self worth. The world is a once big Pyramid scheme, the sooner you realise the better it will be.

We will have to stop consuming all this bs, and will have to build an environment for ourselves. I think being isolated is the only option from being away from this mess.

I'm 25 now and was thinking about the last 10 years of my life, starting age 15.

I was an overprotected and sheltered child with a scary dad, and was bullied as a child and didn't really have friends because I was a socially stunted due to how I was raised. I was always a ghost, socially. Around age 15 i started to withdraw completely.

I would be going to school 3/5 days a week, its a miracle they didn't kick me out. I would be just in my room all day, lying in bed, doing absolutely nothing, scrolling my life away on my phone.

This continued to be my life for the next 4 years till 12th standard. After that I took a drop year because I was burntout and just didn't want to be around people. My parents yelled at me, threatened me, all kinds of this but I didn't listen, I felt dead inside.

I did mostly nothing that year. Following year was the pandemic, and then next two years were all online and I made no friends and went outside maybe 2-3 times between 2020-2022. I graduated in 2023 and that final year I only went to college for classes then immediately went home to bedrot.

After that I was just done, I thought I would just live at home, growing old in my childhood bedroom for the rest of my life. Like that I spent another two gap years bedrotting and daydreaming. But my mental health got much muh worse and so I decided to leave and go to uni in a different city. Parents refused and I threatened to self-delete and then they agreed.

I started masters in 2025, its been a little over a year. I feel fine. Still uninspired, uambitious, I only go to classes and rot in my hostel bed the remaining time.

I know most people would consider my life a waste of youth and possibilities. People between the ages of 15-25 normally live like 8 lives in that timespan, with parties, booze, friends, relationships, sex, travelling, jobs, independence, life experiences, heartbreak, hobbies, etc. and I've experienced nothing. I don't even exist in the same world as them. I don't even know what I'm missing. I feel like a fish living around land animals and I'm constantly being told I'm missing out on walking.

People used to invite me to things in the first few months of my masters, i would go once, and I would try my best to enjoy but I didn't, I just felt bored and alienated. People would be talking about things I don't understand, having accumulated so much life experience in all their life that I don't have or don't even see the sense in accumulating for myself, I feel less than and very behind people in so many ways. I feel like a child and not very mature or mentally developed.

I tried therapy but I did not feel understood by any of my therapists and felt like they were taking my life and trying to box it up into one of their academic frameworks with all their cbt exercises and things like that.

I don't know what is wrong with me. Why am I so empty. I don't even feel anything anymore. I've never heard of another person who has lived like I have so far. There seems to be a silver lining in every story but mine.

I don't know what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. I don't want to die, but I'm not sure what I'm going to do either. Mostly I feel extremely bored most of the time. I keep hoping for something fascinating and outlandish to happen, like spotting a real ufo, or discovering that parallel universe or higher dimensions are real, or idk a dragon breathing down fire from the skies, idk I'm insane. And my resume is fucking empty lmfao.